Karma's a load of old shite! The BESH have gone through a fair old heap of bollocks lately so it's time we had some good news!

[Fabuluce]

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.

6. Number of pets?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

8. Lesbian crush?

9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
   a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
   b) Over 100 quid
   c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above

11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.

What bugs said

Tanqueray, cherry?

Copper Smelter?

Nooo waaaay... Did I win?! Which one are you?

Pleaaaase let cletter be a thatcher.

You do win, cherry

I am not a thatcher.

nor am I an alchemist

and I do not own a still.

I'm none the wiser!

Ah well, can't have it all, you do however make a luffly cocktail.

Yay the stonemason... Respect dude!

Arse - I missed out on the game but ooooh what a cool thing to do! Hoe uber creative and wonderful but totally get that it doesn't go terribly well with diffage.

Chez can I share your cocktail? I'm fucking fucked. We have spent all day getting ready for the furniture removal people at 2 and then they weren't able to get to us till 5.30 so we did an extra car run ourselves in the meantime. It's an hour's round trip so I have today done 3 hours of driving on top of more packing and car stuffing and dismantling of stuff. I'm now just waiting for the removal guys to arrive this end with our furniture. I've bought emergency biscuits and extra milk (no I haven't stuff any of them.. Well maybe a couple) as they will be knackered. Me and him are suffering like a couple of old crooks with bad backs - I want it to be over!! Yes euro, it has taken forever!!!

Respect Dishes

*stone

I lost track - what is your job dishes?

dishy that's a cool job! Can I be pals with you come the zombie apocalypse? My job is strictly sedentary so it would be good to know someone with survival skillz.

fab I'm exhausted just reading about your day! Do you have a deadline when this all has to be over by?

Back at the clinic this morning for more dildo camming. The nurse this time sort of swept it over my cervix - ouch! Lining has grown since last week - now 5.4mm. Annoyingly this is as thick as it got on my bloody unmedicated cycle . And they could see some fluid in there, which we're hoping isn't ominous. So they've doubled my dose of oestrogen and we'll keep going for another week. I'm not sure how much more they can cram into me but I'm glad I'm still in the running for this cycle.

Obviously I know that there are quicker ways of building shelters than carbon them out of stone during said apocalypse. I just meant, y'know, someone practical-like.

That's a very cool job cletter. I can see why it might not be preggo-suitable. Hmm.

I also have a job profile that fits only about 5 women and I have been spotted before on another board on the basis of a few basic details I posted (female, barrister, US firm). I'm past caring about anonymity, I think...

Sounds like your need is bigger than mine, you hardcore removal laydee.

Eeesh to the rough dildocamming Fiz. You wouldn't think they did that all day every day . Come the fuck on for the lining of lusciousness though.

Tomorrow is 12 months since the POF diagnosis... Since the stoney faced twat of a GP called me in after routine bloods and then stared at the computer and told me in an emotionless voice that I'd had my menopause. What a fucking roller coaster of a 12 months it's been. Feeling philosophical if a tad twitchy about another week gone by without a phone call from the clinic. When when when...

Another here who could be easily outed on a job description. There are about 4 or 5 of us in the country. And no I'm not going to go there. Sorry!

Can you make us a BESH gargoyle dishy?

I love gargoyles! Can have a secret BESH one we place on the entrance to the instadiffer road

I could easily be outed. I am the only person on this island who does this job!