Karma's a load of old shite! The BESH have gone through a fair old heap of bollocks lately so it's time we had some good news!

[Fabuluce]

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.

6. Number of pets?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

8. Lesbian crush?

9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
   a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
   b) Over 100 quid
   c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above

11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.

Bugs - I hope the woofters all right, how did she go over night?

Dishes - How are you managing today?

I'm all right cheers missH. I've just got fairly heavy bleeding, no pain. Got to do the ring-round today and tell the midwife and EPU that I've miscarried. huurgh.

euro, thanks for telling me what happened for you, and sorry you had to go through this shit. It sounds like my MC is going to follow that pattern. No sign of the pain coming back.

It is very unlike the last one. I can only guess that last time everything was two weeks further along, so bigger and worse to get out.

missH, can't bring myself to click on your link because just the thought of instadiffers made me feel cross they're everywhere!

Morning Hags, I have missed thee. Great to see the new Fred...a karma feem. How apt.

Really sorry about what's happened to you Dishy. My m/c was 2 years ago but the pain I felt was in the lead up to passing the sac. It was almost how i would expect contractions to feel. The pain eased up after and I just felt drained. Bleeding continued for about 2 weeks but relatively pain free. You are one very strong hag.

My story- 35, ttc 2.5 years, married to MG for 3 years. One m/c in jan 2012...seems a lifetime ago. Whole bunch of tests last year showing nothing wrong with either of us although my amh was 14.1 p/mol so less than satisfactory (according to one scale but FC said not to pay much attention to that). Given a 50g clomid prescription for 6 months. Hated it so stopped after 3 months. Asked for laparoscopy in nov. Got it in jan- removed mild endo. Apparently everything else is a picture of health. Uh-huh yeah right.

Been away for weekend - birthday treat mixed with family visit so it has been both lovely and sad. Found out on birthday that my FiL has been diagnosed with lung cancer. He didn't look very well compared to last time we saw him 6 weeks ago. It's a genetic mutAtion so just very unlucky. Not hereditary though. The whole family are trying to just get on with life but think they are all in shock.

I should be being strong for MG but last night I had a wobble that in 30 months of ttc we have only had one BFP. Statistically that is crap. Felt a bit hopeless and sad. Also at about 7-8 dpo I pretty much know we're out again.

All I can hope is that the referral to the ACU comes soon and we can start with either iui or ivf. Thinking might give iui a go for one round. MG really did not need me crying on his shoulder. I need to buck the fuck up!!!

In other news, MG gave me a pink sewing machine for my birthday (along with other fab gifts and treats) but wtf do I do with it??! I'd obviously mentioned to him at some point that I'd like to learn how to make stuff for the house...bless him. Oh and came home to letter from bank saying I've totally gone over my overdraft limit. I am 35 years old. I should have more fucking sense. I'm an idiot with a pink sewing machine I know naff all about using and I can't even keep my finances in check.

Phew- that was a long one.

Thanks Bugs. Will have to take a look at those tutorials and have a go with some old clothes I was gonna throw out. Who knows, I might even enjoy it!

Spoke to bank- charge is only £12. My fault for having 2 current accounts and mixing them up, so I deserve the punishment.

Heinz tomato soup sorting me out...and the cute little daffs that are popping out in my containers in the garden. Feel it is time for a

No sign of anything yet! If he doesn't turn up by Wednesday morning I will POAS before going to woo needles so she can stick me in appropriate places! I can almost guarantee POAS will induce the metal one to arrive! One more night shift to get through first.

I keep having twinges of hope that I'm suppressing!

I know hard it is Bugs , we had to say goodbye to one of our first cats a couple of months ago, devastating, I cried non stop for about a week We had to have him put to sleep as he was in pain and wouldn't recover from heart disease. I'm just glad we got him in the house in time and that he didn't go off to die alone somewhere. I can't let him go yet so he was cremated and is by the fire in the living room in a curled up wooden cat.

Fuck me

I was going mad, had an inkling as the laxatives weren't working, almost no other symptoms (nipple tingles 2 weeks ago , slightly metallic mouth) I'm not even peeing very much but have had no PMS either! Woohoo!

I'm terrified, can I cope with another mc? I'm happy and excited but feel like I have to keep telling myself off as anything can happen.

This is sod's law at work ladies! I was prepared to wait till at least June to get upduffed, in fact was looking forward to huge wedding with free bar over 2 days in June! Oh and the diet was going quite well actually and I was on track to lose at least a stone before the wedding

I feel like this: [shocked]

The bloody line came up straight away too, I can't believe it! AARRGGGHHHHH!!!!

I am now making my way through a box of Quality Street and trying to get my concentration back enough to get through my paperwork, a massive unBESH EEK!

Miss is that a BFP?? You've missed out those 3 little letters in your excitement but I'm guessing it's a yes? Is it nipple tassle time?

It is a BFP, but I'm menkuling, never made it past 5 weeks, the first lasted until the end of the day, the second lasted for 4 days after the BFP, so I'm not excited, just panicked! No nipple tassels yet, will test again when I get up and then tell BR. He's going to get out of spaffing for the doctors isn't he!

I put a picture up, forgot you can't see them on the phone app

Thanks! I'm well in the menkul already, if I make it to next week I'm ringing the doctor to insist on a 7/8 week scan!

Right, time for bed, have good days BESH!

WOOOP missH!!! Fantastic!

I totally understand that the fear has arrived now you've got a BFP, but I'm giving it a BESH-style finger and celebrating with you

fankle, sounds like a shit time . . . everything always turns up at once, and it can really get you down. Especially when your partner's going through something with his family, and you feel you shouldn't 'lean' on him. But I'm sure he wouldn't see it that way, and you're absolutely not being selfish to need support. Life doesn't hand you one thing at a time, the fucker.

Mr C is one of the most balanced and 'OK' people I've ever met, whereas I come from a family of (mostly) mentalists and am still very wobbly on occasion. At the worst of times I've felt like I'm a burden on him, but he's told me this is bollocks in no uncertain terms. And oddly enough, the more I open up to him, the more he talks to me about what he's feeling in return. So keep on talking. You don't have to be 'strong'.

Oh, and re pink sewing machine, try cushion covers! They're just squares, and if you give them button fastenings rather than zips they're a piece of piss

Oh, and dishworld update: the consultant from the EPU rang me yesterday and said that she's happy to put me forward for investigations. So I don't have to go through my GP, which is great.

They're going to start with bloods and an U/S scan in a month or so to see if I'm the right shape, then Mr C may need to do bloods as well.

Here we go . . .

A tentative congratulations MissH, I'll hold off on the tassels for the moment though and keep everything crossed this is a sticky one.

Hurrah for MissH's bfp! Bloody fantastic! Am I right that this was an IVF cycle?? Consider your toes held!

Bugs- never even thought of adding in cubes of cheese. Must try. I love when you get proper French onion soup and there's a big slice of toast in it covered in melted gruyere. Yum! Sorry to hear about your pet- it's so very sad losing them. But having experienced that with our family dog, who lived til she was 16, still doesn't stop me wanting to get one of my own. I just love dawgs!

Dishy- thank you for your kind words and encouragement with the sewing machine.

You BESH ladies are pretty lufly

Be careful when adding cheese to tomato soup - cheddar is a marvel, Gruyere is a nightmare - stringy cheesey loveliness with soup doesn't not make for a clean chin. Be warned - I have done the ground work here.

Bugs how's your dog doing today? It's so horrid when a beloved pet is poorly / they really are a part of the family.

Miss I will keep everything crossed for a sticky one and will latch on to a spare toe.

Hello frank! How's motherhood treating you?

That sounds hopeful then Bugs? Dogs seem to manage tremendously well on 3 legs too. A friend of mine had a German shepherd who went off his hind legs but apart from that was very fit and healthy so they got him one of those trolleys so he could walk again. He was like a new dog! It is amazing what can be done for pets these days (provided you have the insurance of course!). Keeping my fingers crossed and think you've made the right move staying at home. You and the the Buglet need a rest from all that emotion!

AFM I'm still sorting house shit out. Have finally given up hope of TWH ordering a bloody van and getting his mates round to help move the sodding bloody furniture. He decided we were going to do it all ourselves as it was cheaper. FFFFFFFFS!! He gets totally blinkered on the most silly things sometimes. I have no idea why as we can totally afford to spend £245 on getting it done and quite frankly I think that's money well spent! So I'm ordering a van with two men to come and pick it all up on Thursday as it's DOING MY BLOODY HEAD IN! and breathe.