Karma's a load of old shite! The BESH have gone through a fair old heap of bollocks lately so it's time we had some good news!

[Fabuluce]

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.

6. Number of pets?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

8. Lesbian crush?

9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
   a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
   b) Over 100 quid
   c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above

11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.

snort at 'bbc accent' euro. I have one too. It doesn't help. Not does being female and having a babyface. I've only just stopped being IDd for booze in supermarkets. This means I get patronised rigid by a lot of people who think I'm a student.

I'm not fabulously youthful-looking or anything. I have just inherited my dad's side of the family's silly squishy facial features. When I am 70 I will have a face like a dessicated apple.

bugs, you're right. I've actually felt surprisingly light and cheerful today, because I've been certain I was going to MC anyway, and if something's happening then we're moving on.

I have the codeine and 400mg ibuprofen tabs they gave me to take home after the last one (never used 'em). Stocked up on Always Nighttime, bag packed for hospital, ready for whatever's going to happen.

Really sorry, dishy. You don't need me to say it, but we're here for whatever ranting / weeping / nork nuzzlage you need.

If we are doing stats:

Fizzy, aged 33. Married to Green Fingered Book Worm for 7 years, ttc since November 2010. Nowt wrong with him. Mmc June 2011, ectopic #1 December 2011, endometriosis dx March 2013, ectopic #2 June 2013. Started ivf round 1 in October 2013; discovered low antral follicle count and lining issues. Froze 5 day 1 embies due to rubbish lining. Attempted natural FET in Feb this year, no-go again due to lining issues; currently in middle of medicated FET.

PS cherry and fab don't you dare suggest you shouldn't be here! Once a BESH, always a BESH.

Onwards and upwards cletter, I don't know how the hell you're being so upbeat with this but you're doing amazingly and we're are here for you. Respect lady and pah to the reclamation yard. What a let down!

Nork nuzzles with Fizz and Fab. Love ya BESH.

If I do say so myself I've made amazing tea tonight with roast beef, warm salad of peppers, chargrilled artichokes, couscous and sundries tomatoes. Currently snuffling prosseco like a good un.

Great to see ya euro and bugs.

Yup, it has kicked off. Dosed up on ibu and codeine, lovely codeine high almost covering the cramps.

Just passed the sac. First time I've seen one (didn't look with the last MC). Very sad to see it, but hopefully this means things are progressing quickly and I won't go through the nastiness I did last time. Just keep reminding myself to relax.

fizzy, cherry, cheers, the shock does funny things. I've felt like I'm sleepwalking for the last few days. I think I'm coping better mentally, with knowing what to expect and being less afraid.

cherry, your dinner sounds absolutely wonderful. I am sorry I have grossed up the post after it with talk of sacs

Wow Dish you are hard as nails - true BESHstyle and I'm glad you can see the positives from it.

Cherry did we had bubbles tonight too. Yum - I love bubbles my friend made the most amazing roulade for dessert and has wildly upped the game - what the hell can I make to top that when it's our turn to host dinner??

Fist bump of solidarity with fizz booyah (as they say on American films)

No such thing as TMI round these parts cletter, share away love, I hope it resolves quickly.

Fab my vote would be lemon meringue pie for a crowd pleaser. Surprisingly easy to make yet spectacular all the same. I like it with a ginger biccy base to give extra zing to the lemon which means you get to bash hell with a rolling pin too rather than even have to bother with pastry. Win win!

Cheers hags, I'm off to bed now, nicely tipsy

Unfortunately she's the queen if meringue and is unbeatable in the lemon meringue option damn her and her fabulous baking skills!

Dish there's definitely no such thing as tmi here!

Bloody Hell Dishes you are uber amazing! It's such a shitty thing to go through but I know what you mean about knowing what's happening as being better mentally than the waiting/hoping/menkuling. You are doing brilliantly but I'm still holding onto a toe for you

If/When you have a wobble that'll be fine too! And expected!

Fab - Chocolate Tart is always a crowd pleaser and really easy to make. You can make it look even posher by piling on berries and making your cream into 'quinelles'!

Short update on me - Got over not being PG pretty quickly! Gives me another month to lose some weight!

All tests are back now, nothing wrong with me bar VitD deficiency for which I've been taking prescription strength supplements for the last 2 months, 1 more month to go before re-testing. I've been really lucky with my GP, I think after 12 months ttc/2xMC getting all the tests I've had has been very fortunate, too many pregnancies for Infertility, not enough mc's for RMC refferals so I know I'm lucky, if I get reffered the only tests I'm missing are scans and genetic problems so it might rush things along if/when it comes to it.

Now I have to really push BR to get his tests done, it seems after initial enthusiasm to help towards ttc he is no longer so keen So I will get on at him later today to piss in his pot and book the jizz test

I now want to eat Chocolate Tart!

Miss for some reason men are generally really crap at getting their jizz tested - it's v annoying. It took TWH bloody ages and a lot of nagging to get his done. Turned out he didn't want to know if his manliness was lacking in any way although he couldn't understand that I was going through loads of tests to find out if my womanliness was doing it's thing and that it was a bit bloody insulting that he wouldn't just go for a wank in a pot and get it over with. Now I will admit if we were told the only way our fertility could be tested was by having a wank to order in a sterile room things might be a tad different but still, it is just one wank as opposed to loads of blood tests, dildo cams and potential operations. It just seems churlish to put it off so damn long.

Dish lovely, how are you doing today?

I'm afraid I don't eat choc . I was hypnotised about 9 years ago and haven't had it since!

If I could just have a wank and get answers I'd even do it front of medical students!

dish that should be the worst of the pain over then. You are handling this so well.

fab no choc?!? Sorry, that does not compute. I have chocolate pretty much every day. Although during my preggo nausea phase I went off it ! (Just as I had been bought loads of lovely chocolates for my burfday.) Luckily, it didn't last too long.

cherry I love a good lemon meringue pie. Mmmm.

missh I know what you mean! At least they get to do their bit in a locked room on their own. We have all manner of people staring at our bits and shoving things up them. KFZK dragged his heels a bit but not for too long. One thing I noticed was that his first test (created at home and then taken to the lab) was not brilliant but ok. The first few samples he did in a hospital environment were considerably worse. By the end, they had improved a bit again. I think the stress of the environment didn't help (and then he had to do it so many times for IUI and IVF that he eventually got used to it and found it a bit less stressful).

it's ages and ages and ages since I posted in a BESH fred, but the mighty Atom and his dad are fast asleep in bed so I'm wasting my free time by browsing the internet unhindered. (sod housework)

i'll try and keep up with you all a bit more x

Morning ladies hags.

Thanks for all the support . Managed to get to sleep about 2am, all those toe holds must have lulled me I've woken up without cramps.

I don't know what to expect now - is all the pain focused on getting the sac out? Or can I expect another round of cramps?

Last time I had about 9 hours of very heavy painful bleeding and large pieces of grimness - then when I was in hospital they gave me misoprostol, then I painlessly passed the rest a day later.

I don't know whether the rest of it is going to come down without pain. I don't think there's been anywhere near enough. I'm sorry to ask you lovely people to remember bad times, but can anyone tell me what happened for them?

My plan for next week:
-Register with local GP, make apt, ask to start investigations.

• Go out on Friday looking fab, drink vodka martinis, eat sushi

Obviously I am looking forward to one more than the other

missH, glad your tests have come back clear. I think (hope) Mr C will be OK with the jizz test thing. He has been generally fantastic and supportive. I can see why men get jumpy about the whole 'masculinity' thing, but that's because their junk is mostly bloody sacrosanct. As a woman, as soon as you hit 18 it starts with the pill, smear tests, cystitis, thrush, STD tests, diffment/MC/fertility testing. One awkward orgasm in a hospital room isn't much compared to that!

Oh darling Bugs - can you take her to the emergency vets?

Poor thing bugs. I hope she's OK. At least if she seems comfortable then she's not in any pain

Poor pooch! Hope she's ok and the vet can help tomorrow. Can you give pets painkillers?

On my mission to improve my lining I went for a walk to the shops today and accidentally bought half of boots' makeup counters. It's not just the drucks that make ivf expensive!

dishy for me, the pain was focussed on getting the sac out as that has to get through the cervix. I then had painless (but still horrible) bleeding for another week and a half after that (bed for about 2 weeks in total). I suppose if a clot gets stuck there might be some more cramps, but I didn't get them after I had passed the sac. I did feel very week and wiped out afterwards though, even though I wasn't in pain.

Hugs bugs. I hope she will be ok.

Serves me right for browsing the Pregnancy Board but I really want to punch these people in the face

Instadiffers

Within 30 seconds I have displayed all the properties of a true BESH