Karma's a load of old shite! The BESH have gone through a fair old heap of bollocks lately so it's time we had some good news!

[Fabuluce]

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.

6. Number of pets?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

8. Lesbian crush?

9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
   a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
   b) Over 100 quid
   c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above

11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.

Holy nipple tassels Cunty!
Fucking hurrah!!!! You're diffed

I've got my fingers crossed for you Barking. Remember - no apparent symptoms can be a symptom. I had naff all symptoms. Will commence kidney tickling tomorrow...full on stomping by Saturday.

woohoo cunty!!!! There is a proper BFP epidemic breaking out on MN at the moment, and all for people who truly truly deserve it! This is fabulous news!!!

PS did you do anything different this month?

Cherry ive always been a bad influence

Not sure I can nipple tassel with my flat boobs but waving bunting for cunty

Wow fantastic news Cunty

Nice one cuntychops
Good news always welcome

(())(())

Thanks hags!

It was a bit unexpected, and I still don't quite believe it. Keep looking at the test just to check that the line is still there (it is) and I've brought a CB digi to use tomorrow.

Rain - I can't think that we did anything different except start shagging earlier in the cycle. I ovulated earlier as well - it was actually day 14 whereas usually it's around day 17. Maybe the acupuncture helped? The first CP happened the month after I'd had acupuncture for a few weeks.

So, um, I don't know if it's normal to still feel like droid is about to arrive. I'm feeling quite crampy still, as well as really shattered and hungry. It's only the first day and I'm already menkulling. What the hell?!

I don't want to let myself feel excited just yet, but right now I am immensely happy!

Yay cunty that's fabulous news! Hurrah!

Those symptoms do sound very like diffment to me...

Toe holds for you, barking

effi have I said hello yet? If not, hello and welcome.

No news here. Still waiting for an appointment for the hysteroscopy.

Congrats cunty !!! I'm not going to shake my tits, I've not got much to wobble .

So, the crazy has well and truely set in over here. Another bfn this morning and that didn't depress me enough so I got another bfn tonight. Just can't seem to stop, I'm on self flagellation now .
Ordered a twin pack first response to arrive tomorrow so I can poas with that on Saturday and Sunday. I've never had to wait this long, with an LP of 7/8 days I'm always put out of my misery far quicker. The progesterone is holding off AF and sending me doolally in the process. Even when I got my clomid bfp I'd had 5 days of spotting and assumed it was AF as normal.

tick, tock.....

TheBuggerlugs I googled MenEVit and the ad is pure hilarious! "This is a test..." But, the idea of training his spaff to enter some sort of competitive event seems to appeal to The Tool, so he's agreed to get it tested (I think he wants to boast about having "extraordinary" spaff. But he's a bit trepidatious about what's involved - so for anyone whose feller's done the test, what actually happens? Do you do it at the GP there and then or do they send you to a clinic?

TWH was given a bottle to jizz into and then race to the local hospital to deliver his parcel. Luckily we weren't far from the local gaff as there is a specific time frame - I think it's up to an hour before it goes past it's sell by date. It's good practice for if you go down the ivf route as that's only starter pressure for when they have to go into a tiny room, quite often with no lock on it, and have a wank knowing that a room full of people and your eggs are waiting on him!

Effin - Mr Chops had to produce his sample at the hospital andrology department because we live too far away for him to have done it at home. He said it was not a pleasant experience - it was a room off of a busy corridor and there were people standing outside chatting. He would also recommend that chaps bring their own, ahem, 'grot mags' as all they had on offer were some well-used lingerie catalogues and some aerobics DVDs!

Holing a toe for Barking.

Woooooooooo!!!! Cunty. Go you! (and also aerobics DVDs?? Geez, Mr Blue is far filthier than that, good for us to know)

Xx

DCW said the wank room at the ACU for the IUI was better than the one at the hospital for the SA. They had DVDs (British porn apparently) and a request to keep the volume below 20 but he took his own on his phone anyway. There was a sign on the wall that told him to ring the bell for a nurse if he missed the pot and they'd rush in and scrape it off the carpet - can't be losing the jizz when it's needed!!

I pimped again but DCW couldn't see a line. I could almost see a line if I squinted very, very hard and stared at it until my eyes hurt. Not ruling myself out yet but was hoping the first response would give me a clear answer clearly anything that isn't a screaming bfp is dismissed as not a clear answer as I'm not ready to accept it hasn't worked

More waiting.

Fuck me Chops that came out of the blue, what fucking marvellous news hurrah! I'll have to limber out of my sports bra for that!

Barking toe holds and cockles of comfort for you. Any news?

Aerobics DVD's? I bloody love that! ROCH can't use the clinic room either, it's grubby surroundings, squeaky bed and proximity to the waiting room just doesn't work for him. The time limit at our clinic on samples is 30 mins, just doable with some considerable urgency and the breaking of a few speed limits.

Cross post, eeesh Barking hang in there mate. Still hoping like mad that the magic line appears for you.

These spaff test stories are incredible. It's not exactly a standardised provision is it?

The spaff thing doesn't sound like a great experience. GFBW was pretty tight lipped about his but it sounds better that some. I can't believe they scrape it off the carpet if you miss! I'm picturing someone dashing in saying "two second rule, it'll be fine!"

barking sorry this is such a tough wait for you. Still holding your toe while keeping my fingers crossed

2 second rule! What if someone else spaffed in there just before husband/partner and you ended up impregnated by a stranger?

barking I am going to break my no feet rule and hold a toe for you till Monday. I hope you had a good time with your friends regardless?

fizz exactly why I avoid any and all social things with parents who don't know we're ttc. It's the blasé remarks that are the most (inadvertently) hurtful. RAF and I were discussing at the pub this eve that we need to get a new hobby together so we can make new non-kidiffied friends, but what hobbies do people without kids have apart from wife swapping???

Going for a flying lesson tomorrow. If you never hear from me again, that will be why.

Two second rule!! Amazeballs.

We went to the cinema last night for the first time in yonks. It was FULL of smug diffed couples. They were frigging everywhere but at least I didn't have to talk to them and then we were sitting in the dark. Feel your pain folks, especially on the inadvertent 'look how fertile I am' comments.

Ooh Pars like flying a real life plane? Have fun!

Anyone heard from Fankle these last few days? Wondering how our next newest differ is getting on and hoping all is well?