Karma's a load of old shite! The BESH have gone through a fair old heap of bollocks lately so it's time we had some good news!

[Fabuluce]

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.

6. Number of pets?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

8. Lesbian crush?

9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
   a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
   b) Over 100 quid
   c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above

11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.

Thanks everyone!

Sending lots of positive vibes to Fankle and Barking today.

Barking, yes, that week of wait was horrendous. I started bleeding two days after my 7 weeks scan, when everything was fine and we saw the heart beat. The heart beat was still there a day after the bleeding started so I was sent on bedrest and told I had a 'threatened miscarriage'. Five days later there was no more baybee. Wishing you all the best for today.

Bugs congrats on 20 week scan! It really does give me hope. And I loved your crying because the Virgin Mary managed to have a baby story! I am sure it was shit at the time but made me laugh and feel less crazy about the stuff that crosses my mind sometimes.

Hi Rain- I didn't have any of the usual symptoms of heavy/super painful periods, pain during sex etc. I had very regular, not heavy, not particularly painful periods. The only 'oddity' was that my cycles were on the short side (24-26 days) and I sometimes had a couple of days of spotting before they properly started. That actually seemed to indicate that my LP was a bit short so was put on progesterone to sort it out.

My gyno monitored us for 5 months (3 rounds of climid and trigger shot, 2 IUIs) and he decided that there must be a reason for me to not get pregnant since everything seemed fine, both on my and the husband's side. So he proposed the laparoscopy to check for end and he was right.

I have become a bit obsessed with laparoscopies and endo and recommend to anyone who is 'unexplained'. Is your background similar?

FFS. The original thread was bad enough (I was going to start TTC in January but BiL might be getting married in the Autumn, should I delay?) but this response almost made me want to hunt the woman down and scream in her face:
^I plan everything - planned both my DC's (with a spreadsheet - kid you not)
If you conceive at Xmas you may have late summer born baby and be v preggers whilst it's hot. Also, may mean you can't drink over Xmas if you get early symptoms. Wedding abroad would be a mare
March conception means Xmas 2015 baby & your DH could use hols on top of paternity leave for long break. Wedding would be in second / early third trimester and you'd be fine to fly
Plus if baby born before Xmas and new year, your 15 hours funding will kick in when baby is almost immediately three
To those of you who dismiss planning - I say PAH!^

Some women don't know they are fucking born.

Erica very interesting what you say about the endo. Also very interesting that they put you on progesterone. I'm unexplained, but I have a 7/8 day LP which so far everyone has dismissed as not a problem. I had to beg twice for the progesterone after this IUI. First the consultant, who said there was no clinical evidence to support it working and all it would do was hide a mc, but if I wanted it he would prescribe it, and then the nurse who crossed it off my prescription saying 'we don't do progesterone for IUI anymore'. Grrr.

Receptionist at the clinic was a charmer. Kept us all standing waiting in the rain (there were 3 of us there by 7.30, 7 of us waiting by 8am, sometimes they open the doors and let us wait inside 15 mins early) and then when I gave my name and explained that my notes might not be ready as I didn't know whether I'd be able to make it this morning but the nurse had told me to come in anyway if I could she said 'well did you call to let us know last night'. No, I didn't, I was in a youth hostel with 31 kids and no reception. Then 'is this your starter appointment?' No, I'm here to confirm whether or not I'm losing my baby, but thanks for making me share that in front of everyone in the queue, I'll now go and sit down in the crowded waiting room and pretend I'm not crying. .
Made me feel better when one woman muttered to another 'have you spoken to her on the phone? She speaks to you like you're scum'. What a lovely person to have working on reception in an assisted conception unit.

Oh god - That thread vomits through eyes

Barking - My gyno told me that the problem is not so much the short LP as such but the fact that it could be caused by low progesterone levels. Without adequate proges, the (potentially) fertilised egg can't implant properly (more info here www.resolve.org/infertility-overview/understanding-my-body/progesterone-and-pregnancy-a-vital-connection.html)

It is true that it hasn't been 100% clinically proven progesterone suppositories/injections prevent miscarriage. However, the fact that it has made my cycles longer seems to indicate (to me) that it is doing its job at developing a strong uterine lining. Regarding masking a miscarriage - I took 3 progesterone suppositories every day plus a few injections in the last week and it did not stop the miscarriage at all, it may have slowed down (not stopped) the bleeding, if anything.

That receptionist sounds charming. I know you can't always choose your job but you have to wonder how someone that obviously hates people and has zero empathy ended up in that position. Sorry you had to go through that and best of luck with the results!

Thanks for that link erica, I agree it's not the short LP in itself but the potential implications - I also have very light periods and lots of spotting. To me, that implies that I'm not managing to build a snuggly womb lining, and the little that is there is got rid of far too quickly. No medical evidence, just pure speculation on my part after 2.5 years and no other explanation!

Must-do-some-productive-work-and-not-waste-more-time

I co

I couldn't help myself and have posted on that thread. I've been very restrained though!

My clinic don't seem to know their arse from their elbow. In the space of 48 hours it's gone from 'it'll take a miracle' to 'the doctor's reviewed your file and thinks it's ok to book a scan'.

Scan booked for 19th. 60% chance everything will be ok.

You could knock me down with a feather right now, really. Today I am still pregnant.... 4+2.... Scan will be 6+3. I'm trying not to add if I get that far.

So, still in the waiting and worrying game .

Oh my god Barking!!!! Fantastic news! Everything crossed for you! And wishing you a peaceful, non-psycho two weeks! :)

Wow Barking! Have you stopped bleeding then? Have your numbers increased significantly? What a mindfuck for you!

I need to find this thread - I was to smack that 'organised' poster round the head with a basket of lobsters for being such a smug instadiffing twat. Grrrrr.

fab no bleeding yesterday or today. Numbers are still lower than expected but doubled exactly since Monday, so still going up. Hanging on to a 60% chance being more than half.

thread here

erica thanks. Not sure this will be the easiest 2 weeks to get through, fingers crossed for no more bleeding or other dramas between now and then. I'm feeling exhausted!

No bleeding yesterday or today is excellent news! Numbers lower than expected could just mean that you conceived later than you thought too.

I assume you are already watching Game of Thrones but if you are not, I recommend it as pastime for the next two weeks. You'll be completely hooked and I find all the violence feels very cathartic when I am feeling anxious/frustrated! (not a particularly feminist show though).

Not watching the GoT (don't have sky) but I've read the books so know what happens. Watched some of the first season but didn't get drawn in - probably because I knew what was coming and knew I wouldn't want to see some bits!!

Good plan though, I shall chill out, do some swimming and walking, and find a new series to watch obsessively while getting some knitting done (mate is due in less than 2 weeks). Actually, I accidentally signed up for Amazon Prime when I ordered more pg tests last week because the cheap ones didn't give me the answer I wanted. That comes with free film & tv downloads, I shall have to take a look before I cancel my free trial!!

Good news on the doubling numbers it's definitely a step in the right direction

I can recommend breaking bad and house of cards if you're looking to settle down with a series or two?

Wow! Serious head fuckage Barking but bloody fantastic that you are pregnant. Will hold toes/fingers until further notice.

Breathing a sigh of relief here too as just had scan and all good . Thank you for the positive vibes ladies. Heart beating and appropriate growth since last scan 2 weeks ago. It's measuring 9 weeks. That awful pre scan fear set in this avo and I had to buy some dairy milk...chocolate is back in my life! I'd gone off it for a while there [shocked]

We are on series 3 of the Wire. I love a good box set...especially when Idris Elba is involved.

Hanging in to a toe for you Barking and hoping this one sticks. Have they said whether it's possible you had a twin pregnancy?

Fankle great news on the scan. Try not to menkul for a few days!

Oo, good news on the scan fankle . I watched every season of the wire back to back when I was going through a perod of insomnia years ago, it's amazing!

frankel they haven't said anything but I only had one follicle so although possible it's unlikely.

Is it ok when pg to be put in an induced coma and woken up in time for the next scan? I think this would make the waiting periods mich easier .

Barking that's good news but what a headfuck. Just before I had my miscarriage, my HCG was rising but not by much (less than 50%) and the consultant said the important thing is that it more or less doubles over 48 hours - he seemed to think this told you more than the absolute level. Waiting for more news and confirmation is a particular form of torture though isn't it. I think a temporary lobotomy could well be a useful innovation.

And Fankel great news on the scan, hope it keeps the mental goblins away for a wee while at least.

I went out for dinner with TT to celebrate our wedding anniversary last night. Rather than romantic celebration, just ended up slightly-drunk-teary about the lovely family at the next table with their new baby. And just back from seeing my friend with her new one and realising that all my mates have this fucking CLUB where they share all the details of the difficulties they've had with birth and parenting. And I'm even jealous of their problems - wishing they were problems I had. Jeez.

And to EricaJ

Hurrah barking. That's brilliant news.

I had exactly the same thought about being knocked out after my IVF mc. I said next time could they just carry on the egg collection sedation until test day or the 12 week scan please!

fankel that's great news. :)

Welcome to the fresh blood. I'm an old BESH, currently PESH after IVF#4 and pop back as a cheerleader once in a while.

Fantastic news Fankle! Special laparoscopy high give to you!

Hey Effin !

Euro Bugs and other pregnant/mummy BESH. It's so good to know that life is not divided in 'got preggers on first attempt' OR 'barren forever* - knowing that is possible to overcome fertility difficulties gives me so much hope!

high five not give, obviously. Bloody phones.

Hey,
I just wanted you to know that I'm still around and keeping up to date with everyone but I don't seem to have any time to reply properly. I've also decided to take a month off ttc. I'm going crazy and I need some wine (and gin, of course gin)
Be back soon
X

What a difference a bloody day makes. Barking despite the shizzle you've gone through to get the fucking news I'm chuffed to bits to hear you're back in the game. Can't even imagine what that's doing to your sanity but bloody brilliant none the less.

Hurrah for you too Fankle, a veritable plethora of positive news. Now oh to be put to sleep until it's all over and they bring out your perfect baybees after a sneeze birth

Today we have booked our appointment with the embryoscope unit which feels like another positive step in the right direction.

On a completely unrelated note this Dave TV quote just made me laugh out loud. "He who laughs last is the slowest." Oh yes.