Karma's a load of old shite! The BESH have gone through a fair old heap of bollocks lately so it's time we had some good news!

[Fabuluce]

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.

6. Number of pets?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

8. Lesbian crush?

9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
   a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
   b) Over 100 quid
   c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above

11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.

Hello all!

I'm back from holiday, which was lovely and relaxing, if a bit awkward. I ended up having to tell my parents the news as they were getting really worried - I spent most of the time I was staying with them half asleep and feeling rough. Did caution that it's very early days though. Have attached picture of test - taken 12 dpo.

Is it ok if I hang around here for a while longer? I'm scared!

Keeping everything crossed for you Barking and hoping you get a clearer result soon.

The '2 second rule' made me laugh so much, but then reading about scraping jizz off the carpet made me feel a bit sick! Is that just for sperm tests they'd do that? Can't imagine it'd be incredibly hygienic to use it for anything else

I imagine they'd only scrap it up for IUI/IVF. If the woman has done all the injecting etc and the eggs are waiting, you don't want the whole sodding cycle cancelled because some feckless man can't catch his jizz! With both treatments it's cleaned and selected under a microscope so I can't imagine hygiene is the biggest concern!

rain plenty of non-kiddy friendly hobbies. Mountain biking, fell running, alpine climbing.... Just pick anything you would be very unlikely to see a pregnant woman do, or something kids wouldn't do at the same time as an adult group (ie plenty of kids mountain bike, but only with a parent, it's not likely they'd be out with a group of adults). I thought climbing was safe but it's not, there were four babies there (just in our group of friends) last time I went. They just take turns to look after baby while the other climbs .

ps bfn. Might give it another half an hour of staring and see if it changes.....

Arm rubs for you this morning Barking, you still have options and time lovely whatever happens. Easy to say but self flagellation won't help. Step away from the stick!

When we had our apt last week... Did I say we had an apt? It's been so mad here I can't remember if I've updated you lot... They're suggesting ICSI for us, where they actually inject a single sperm in to the egg, to overcome not knowing about egg quality with a donor. So, two second rule would work in that instance I guess! We've also been advised embryoscope to up our chances. Chucking all this at it will eek up our percentages of success so we've decided to throw everything at it for our one free go. (And shell out on the extras- thinking small investment to help it work this time will hopefully pay off against a mega expensive second go).

cherry I agree, chuck everything at it.

I didn't step away from the sticks, I pimped another two times... (I had saved my piss pot in case I didn't like the first result ). 2nd stick bfn, 3rd stick (a first response) had a second line! I think it might be good news tomorrow. Wishing away the hours until the results of the blood test, and then if that's good, a date for an early scan... I need to get to that point as last time we had an early scan it didn't have a heartbeat.

Hmm. Just looked back. cunty your line at 12dpo is darker than mine at 13dpo. Mine still looks a squinter in comparison ^^

Oh hello! That's looking like a line to me barking, you're not out of this yet... But what a complete headfuck!

Barking That's definitely a line; I can see it without any squinting! Don't compare your line to mine as there are a number of reasons they could be different. Perhaps implantation happened later, in which case the line wouldn't be as strong yet.

Blimey it's looking like a possible clusterdiff in here ( a besh tradition - look at the due dates on the pesh fred- 3 in March, 3 in June, 3 in August. I have everything crossed for you all.

The 2 second rule made me laff. I can't believe they would really do that.

On the subject of hobbies, we also decided we wanted to find something to do with our weekends to take our minds off ttc. We took up shooting (targets not animals). It was great- very absorbing, gets you out in the countryside for the day and we both turned out to be quite good at it, which helped. Of course now we have done all the courses and bought the kit, I'm diffed and it really isn't very baby friendly, so I'm not sure how much of it we will get to do in the next couple of years. But it was well worth it anyway.

Wow, cluster diff indeed! Nipple tassles are ready and waiting - just let me know when you're ready for a twirl -well done the BESH!

Won't be my turn to join the PESH anytime soon sadly as TWH has done his back in and has been in bed since Monday poor thing. He managed to get downstairs for the first time today which was great but it's going to be a long time mending I think which definitely means no attempting baby making this month although I've got half a gnat's chance in hell of actually getting diffed realistically. Sigh when are these sodding hurdles going to stop appearing??

Talking of hobbies, TWH and I met doing salsa and there's definitely no differs there! Too much spinning! We stopped going when I was doing crazy hours and he was having back probs but I've recently started going again. I can't tell you how much I love it - it makes my heart happy

Hags!
You have been busy! Barking that is SO a line!! This is bloody brilliant....hope you get it all confirmed with bloods tomorrow. Really really really hope this BESH tradition of cluster diffage holds true.

Fizzy what a truly awful shirt to make a child wear!

Chezza I am still here and lurking but been away for the weekend with lovely non-diffed friends (such a joy to be around mates like that who totally get the whole 'childless/man-less in your mid 30's pressure' ..much like you ladies). I'm doing fine. Still no major pregnancy symptoms but I am trying to just get through the days and counting down to my next scan on Wednesday. I'll be almost 9 weeks...that's when I miscarried last time. So am feeling a bit edgy. A lovely MNer on another thread with a v similar story to me, who got her bfp days after me has just miscarried and I have felt so sad for her and worried for myself. T'is hard to keep the menkul at bay

I'm toe holding for Cuntychops and Barking

barking that is definitely a line!

Bang on 14dpo, a definite 'pregnant' on the cb digi this morning, then I started bleeding. It's NOT FUCKING FAIR. And I'm off on a coach with my class for the next 3 days.

How much bleeding?
What a headfuck!!

Oh Barking how utterly confusing for you. How heavy/ red is the bleeding? Keep an eye on it as some bleeding can be ok at this stage.

Grabbing a firm hold of that toe for you Barking. Euro had a fair amount of bleeding off and on so will probably be able to give better advice. How much is it and what colour? Brown sludge is v v common.

It's bright red with bits in it. Heavy enough for me to be using a sanitary towel not a pantyliner . Nurse at the clinic said it wasn't a good sign. If I can get reception at lunchtime I need to call for my results.

Oh Barking how awful

Bugs when was your 20w scan due? Clutching hold of a toe for you too.

Secretive ((((hugs)))) for you, barking. How are you doing this eve?

bugs thinking of you, too.

Cunting universe, why can't you just play with a straight bat for once?

Fucking universe is really putting you through it Barking, I'm willing you on and really hoping it's a sticky one despite everything. In the short term have the sturgeon of strength to get you through the next few days with your overdose of kids. You're one tough cookie. Hang in there chicken - toe holds a plenty and for you too Bugs. It never bloody ends does it.

Thanks hags. News from clinic wasn't good. They were looking for over 100, I was 62 . Got to go back on weds for a repeat test to see whether it's dropping. Nurse said it would be a miracle chance, but miracles do happen .... DCW is going to drive out tomorrow night and come and pick me up so I can have the blood test on Weds. I don't think I can wait an extra 24 hours and go on Thurs.

This fucking stinks. It's not like I can just knock another one up, it was sodding hard work getting this one. Got wifi code from yha staff as I had no reception and was going mental. Currently supervising the kids watching a dvd....