TTC 10 Months Plus, Supporting Eachother & Staying Positive :)

[mama31]

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive for a lengthy period of time who may be considering/attending further tests/scans or is about to begin fertility treatment. I hope this thread can provide information and support, alleviate fears and can help one another to remain positive during this difficult journey that can only be understood by those experiencing it.

Please join and share your story, knowledge, support, laughter and tears.

victoria I've had several internal scans to check for cysts and also when I had my 9w mc and tbh I've never bled or spotted after them. Unless they smacked your cervix with the probe chances are it's not that that's caused the problem

Normal it's so hard isn't it. I keep wanting to tell DH the past few days 'we must have sex tonight', but I am trying to take a step back a bit, and try and let it seem more natural. In the beginning it was funny, now I think he is starting to feel a bit 'used', it is hard though, even when it seems like we are doing it for fun there is always that undercurrent of 'I hope we make a baby from this'! I may have let slip the other week when AF arrived and I was fed up that it's pointless even having sex anymore...oops So, we don't really keep the romance alive either!!

Right then...housework...

Morning all. Or rather afternoon.

Cd 8 today and i got the smiley face. Good job i started yesterday! I don't have the advanced version so no flasy ones. Was a bit surprised as the feckin useless app has me ovulating next weekend!! Also annoying as we didn't dtd yesterday morning as usual, although we did saturday. And we didn't have time today so need to pounce on dh later.

lil I think thats what i will have to do re GP.

Hi mama and m33r I know how you are both feeling. I was soooo miserable last monday. AF had arrived a day early, it was monday and I was very very irritable. Felt much better by friday. Hope you both perk up soon chucks.

normal Its a tough one isn't it? So much for men being the one who constantly want sex!! My DH does at least do a quicky which is something to be thankful for we didn't this morning though as when i got the smiley as i was suddenly very aware of just pouncing on him for the ttc reasons. Ho hum. Maybe later it will seem more normal!.

Im glad I'm not the only one with a miserable OH. I thought it was just mine that didn't want to have sex all the time! My last ex of 3 years wanted it every day so I thought that version of a man was normal!

I was hoping that coz I'm 7dpo it would be implant cramps but it just seems to much of a coincidence that I got a poking yesterday. I did have a pelvic scan as well as internal and she really pressed down on my tummy (and full bladder!) really hard!

Hi ladies hope you all had a good day, well as good as a Monday can be. My day turned out ok as I was so busy in work I didn't have time to think and the day flew in. Home in my pj's now and ready for a night snuggled under my fluffy blanket in front of the tv.

Really feeling like af could arrive tomorrow, spotting is steady and quite crampy. If it did arrive tomorrow it would be good because I wouldn't have to wait any longer wishing it to just come and go! Also that would mean I'd only have had spotting for 1 day prior so that would be progress. However...the down side would be a 23 day cycle. can't have it all I guess! I would prefer it to come tomorrow though.

How ironic, af arriving the same day DH is getting SA test done! Oh how life times things! Like you onelife getting af just on time for your hosp appointment! You just wonder about the need for the timing of these things sometimes but I'm sure there's a logical reason unknown to us.

I must say though DH has been a trooper, not a single moan about going for SA tomorrow. He's taking it like a man! And I am glad to see that because we as ladies have to go through so much and I think if he had of made a single issue out of SA I would have hit the roof! Thankfully for him...he's being great about it lol

Aww victoria we all knew you were normal anyway! Well, as normal as the rest of us! Haha! Has the spotting cleared up? I always bleed after smears but never had this scan so not sure.

mama Sounds like a cozy night in! :-) Mondays suck so bad! I managed to go to the gym, no idea how though as I was dreading it! Put on my autopilot! lol Good news the spotting is starting a bit later :-) and DH sounds like a keeper ;-)

ginger AF kinda stopped in the afternoon today, cd3. It'll probably be back tomorrow. I get this sometimes... Weird. Another thing to worry about!

My DH hasn't exactly got the highest sex drive, which has hindered us a bit I think. Twice a week is about normal but we have gone through periods where it's gone a week, sometimes 2 without. His last job was very stressful so I'm hoping with this new one, he might get his mojo back! LOL

Hope I've not missed any replies/ questions. So nice to check in here and see how everyone is doing!

Ugh. In the bath. My back is KILLING for some reason and i think i have ov pain on the left. Really not in the mood for dtd but will give it my best shot.

Does anyone else worry about weight affecting fertility? I hadn't until a couple of weeks ago when my ever tactful mother suggested i should lose weight. I could do with losing a bit but am not massive. 5'7, 12 stone, size 14. I look positively thin at 10st 7. So i guess a stone would be about right for me to lise with my build and muscles

notta You're the same height as me. I weighed 12st6lbs at my heaviest and recently lost nearly 3st. It could be a coincidence but since then, my cycles have been off and I haven't managed to conceive in 15months. Perhaps I never would have when I was bigger either (I was mostly on the pill), but i don't think a little bit of padding hurts when TTC! Your weight sounds fine for your height to me. I recently tried to put on some weight and gained around 4lbs. This has coincided with starting AC and B vits too... But my cycles are starting to regulate. I think 9.5st was far too light for my build. Like you, I start to look gaunt, especially in face and around shoulders, collar bone etc.

I wouldn't give yourself something extra to stress about! Unless you feel uncomfortable or that you'd feel better losing some weight. As you say, you are certainly not "massive" no matter what your mother says!!

notta I'm 5'5½ and 9st13. I've lost 8lb in the last few months and id say I'm about right weight now. I did go down to 9st8 but I think below that I'd look ill. I think Lindsay is right and you have to be comfortable and only lose weight for you, not anyone else. you can check ur bmi on the NHS website.

Lindsay sorry AF is messing u around. I think I've only had that once since stopping the pill. its amazing what all these pills and bits and stuff can do to mess our cycles up and iron them out! if only there was s magic guaranteed bfp pill!

Victoria hope the spotting has stopped for u now

Hi everyone. Been away for a week and it's just taken me over an hour to catch up. Hugs and positive thoughts all round, and thanks to all for sharing.
4dpo for me and I'm also having a bad time. Strange given this is one month where I am pretty sure I did ovulate and on cd 17, AND most importantly dh came home perfectly timed for 3 days of dtd... so much better than most months with him away 4 nights a week!
So really not sure why so down. Usually this is my positive time whilst there's still hope but now on cycle#22 so just feel there's little to be hopeful about. Plus a weekend with an 18 month visiting. .. Dh left as usual this morning and I cried for an hour before I managed to pull myself together!
Still catching up with you all has as usual given me a warm feeling. At least I can send positive thoughts to all of you.

Hope Tuesday brings us all some sun and mindfulness-ability!

Hi everyone. Been away for a week and it's just taken me over an hour to catch up. Hugs and positive thoughts all round, and thanks to all for sharing.
4dpo for me and I'm also having a bad time. Strange given this is one month where I am pretty sure I did ovulate and on cd 17, AND most importantly dh came home perfectly timed for 3 days of dtd... so much better than most months with him away 4 nights a week!
So really not sure why so down. Usually this is my positive time whilst there's still hope but now on cycle#22 so just feel there's little to be hopeful about. Plus a weekend with an 18 month visiting. .. Dh left as usual this morning and I cried for an hour before I managed to pull myself together!
Still catching up with you all has as usual given me a warm feeling. At least I can send positive thoughts to all of you.

Hope Tuesday brings us all some sun and mindfulness-ability!

My DH has very little sex drive. I'm sure it wasn't always like that though. Before we started ttc I counted 3 times one year, and only twice another year! Now I'm asking him for it 3 times a week for 2 weeks. I don't feel I can ask EOD. The nhs says every 2 days is ok anyway. Its not as if we are not affectionate with each other tho, plenty of kisses and cuddles and a bum slap here and there (!)

Thanks lindsey and lil. I kno

Blummin phone.

I know i need to lose a bit of weight. And i would like to. I just can't see it affecting things too much. A friend of mine is 23 stone and got pregnant second cycle. Doesn't seem fair. :-(

I was pleased last night that after not feeling up to dtd, I managed to summon up something from somewhere and enticed DH to dtd which was good given that i got my smiley face!!

Its not that we don't both like dtd but are just out of the habit!! Its usually a weekend only occurance in the notta household!

Notta - you're significantly lighter than me - I'm 5'6 but weight 13st 4lbs at the moment. The nurse advised me that the stress of trying to lose weight would undo any positive gained from being lighter. I'm still being sensible and am dropping the odd pound here and there but decided to take her advice. It will be interesting to see if hte new doctor will agree!!

DH has a higher sex drive than me, but even he is struggling with all of this. I'm nearer Victoria with being able to count the number in a year, so the pressure to perform so regularly has taken its toll on both of us. We still try and make jokes out of it, but its doesn't always seem so funny when your knackered!!

Some of the other threads had me quite paranoid for a while that we were abnormal about that but I'm reaslising now that we're not so strange...

Thanks for the concern ginger Lindsay and lil but I still appear to be cramping and spotting a bit :-( I'm even thinking about phoning radiology to ask if this is normal! I'm not due af til Sunday at the earliest. I'm cd23 today.7 or 8dpo wish I could say it was implantation :-(

Don't worry about thinking youre fat ladies, we are all loved the way we are :-)

try not to worry Vic, I really hope it is in for u. if phoning would put ur mind at rest then do it.

I agree if u r going to lose weight slowly is the way. I just swapped my unhealthy snacks for nuts and dried fruit - I get graze boxes so its convenient! and focussed on filling my plate with veg instead of potato pasta and rice in the evenings. I like Jamie Olivers tip of putting cauliflower in the food processor and cooking it in the microwave to have instead of rice. nice with home made salmon burgers. Doing little things like that has cut my calories but I don't feel I'm missing out. there is still chocolate in the graze box snacks!

as for sex drive my dh has a v low drive. I'm not all that much better. but I think we got used to having it as I had issues that made it too painful to have sex for a few years. I'm sure we were also on par with Vic before ttc, but we also are very affectionate and always fall asleep in a cuddle together. I think some of the ppl who say they go 3times a night bla bla bla are just making it up! lol

auto correct..I hope it is ib not in!

Thats good to hear lil. I can fabulous at losing weight quickly, but just pile it all back on again. So i am taking it slowly and trying to do things that you have mentioned. I've lost 7lbs since the start of february. Sliw going but it hasn't been a diet as such.

victoria i always feel like that after a smear test so maybe it is to be expected? It wouldn't surprise me if i felt that way. Saying that, it can't hurt to call the docs?

Yeah that's exactly what I mean notta- i don't think a few pounds is gonna change up the TTC that much and so I'd only do it if you feel you'd like to for other reasons. Good going 7lbs since start Feb! :-) And I get what you mean about the DTD frequency... none of us are teenagers anymore and with jobs and everything else, it can take a back seat! I also try to aim for every third day at least until after ovulation... I'm not saying we always manage it though! I keep thinking that surely one of these times has got to be at the "right" time though. It will eventually for us both, I'm sure. xoxo

lil and maybug I sometimes see people here on mumsnet like "Yeah, we did it three times yesterday and then again this morning" and I'm like.... do you not have a LIFE?! And things to do?! LOL I think the same as you, as my 8 year old niece would say "WhatEVER!" Hope you're feeling a bit better Maybug, don't like to think of you crying!!!

Urgh.. victoria Does it feel like that kind of yucky internal feeling after a smear or more like muscle cramping? I guess a phone call might put your mind at ease.

I agree, phone them if you are worried vic but I do hope it is IB for you

I could definately do with losing some weight, I have wanted to lose weight for years now, but I just love my food too much. Last year I managed to lose 2 stone but piled it all back on again over Christmas! I'm 5,5 and 12 and a half stone, but I would mainly like to drop my BMI below 25, it's just under 30 atm, I have heard that losing just 5 or 10% of your body weight can make a difference with fertility. But then I was heavier than I am now when I conceived DD so I kind of assumed that wouldn't be a problem! We all sound like we are fairly average, and sensible about it all too! lil I like Graze boxes too, they are great for snacking as you still get that little chocolate hit
notta that's brilliant on the losing weight! I am trying to be sensible with snacking/exercise, we eat very healthily on the whole but I just can't keep away from cake/chocolate.
maybug same here with thinking I was abnormal for not doing it all the time! DH certainly has a higher sex drive than me, and is usually very obliging getting down to it, unless he is totally knackered. I have to really summon up the energy to get on with it most of the time! On that topic, we really are not trying this month, still haven't managed to dtd yet this cycle, onto cd12 today. We have just been too busy/too tired and I had told myself I wouldn't force it upon ourselves this month, just do it if we wanted to which is rare for me
Sorry you're feeling low maybug, it must have been a difficult weekend with an 18mo, was it family that was staying with you? Sounds like you have done everything you could have this month though, so give yourself a little pat on the back for that

How did the SA go mama? When will you get the results?

lindsay does your AF normally disappear after 3 days? Was it definately AF making an appearance?

Lindsay it feels like af cramps and the spotting is brown like I get before af. Maybe I'm gonna have a really short cycle? Thought it would be 30 days this month tho. Or maybe I did ov cd11 when I got the ewcm? Time will tell.

I worry each month that something I did or didn't do caused us not to make a baby. One of my concerns was last year I spent a few month dropping my calories to 1500/day to lose a few pounds and maybe that was wrong. Also I spent from April to Sept training for a new speciality at work with an exam at the end, and then let loose on patients. So quite stressed. Do you think all these things play a part? Now I'm eating healthily with no calorie counting and things are a bit more settled at work, apart from a building move, possible merger and possible pay cut! Actually its no wonder I'm not preg!

Oooh- I almost forgot! My friend is now pregnant (this is where I say I am so happy for her, right? Haha! No, I actually am :-) She's been trying for two years and one MC! So pleased it's worked out now) but anyway, she is giving me her Clearblue Fertility Monitor, which I would NEVER have bought because it looks pretty expensive.

Anyhoo, it looks like there is a way to reset it to factory settings so that it doesn't remember her cycle details and I can start using it.

Anyone used this yet? I'm kinda excited!

Ginger Yeah, I sometimes get heavy 2 days, then a brief intermission (LOL) and then a lighter 2/ 3 days. She's back today unfortunately! P.S. I made carrot cake this morning for my birthday tomorrow- wish I could share some with you, it is SO good (if I don't say so myself!)! I love my cake too

Hi lindsay did your friend conceive naturally after two years?

Lindsay I have cbfm so can dig book out if you don't have it. I think if the batteries are out for more than 2hours it resets.