TTC a lot longer than 10 months past and present

[Cosmonaut1]

A thread full of the loveliest people

Oh fox that sounds evil. Turn off the screen - it'll only make the migraine worse. It's great that your donor is stimming - not long now!

foxy f8cking hell 40 days of it, doesn't sound like they timed things well, a couple of days and the HRT will make you feel better, at least she is stimming now so ET will be in about 3 weeks eeeek :)
I hope you feel better soon, migraines are crap and in the heat its worse, big hugs

euro so centime gets an official name tomorrow then I can't believe she is nearly a week old, must feel like forever for you though, is she still having the sunbed treatment

Well my fridge has arrived so I can now stop eating for the sake of not letting stuff go off in mad random selections like tonights dinner :)

joy how are you getting on with the drugs

Urgh fox that sounds awful. I'm so sorry. It will be a great story for you to tell the mini fox when s/he is being a teenage PITA! The ultimate guilt trip! But seriously that is horrible, poor you. Hope you're tucked up and asleep now. I really hope you can move on to the next stage soon.

euro it sounds like she's doing really well, considering how little she is. I can imagine you must be torn between wanting her home and worrying about looking after her as she is so tiny and delicate.

buzz Glad your fridge has arrived at last and you can eat normal food again!

Nelly - phew so pleased mr N is ok. What a worry

Fox - 40days is ridiculous...I am sorry about your migraine how very unpleasant. I was going to moan about being on day7 burselin but I won't! I hope acu can sort out your migraine. Not long now you are on the home stretch.

Critter - that's good you can kick off again soon. I really don't blame you for wanting to do it ASAP.

Buzz - glad you fridge has arrived. Quite pleased in a way the link wasn't for me, I really have become quite stupid recently and I am blaming lack if sleep and drugs.

Euro - it must be so hard for you to see centime in there but hopefully she will be home soon. She is such a poppet although she doesn't look that small from the photos. And great they can't find anything wrong with her.

Well I am still waiting for a bleed . I was told it would come latest by yesterday. Need it to come by this morning latest as my clinic is shut over weekend and needs to be done days 1-3. Dreading having dialapan - has anyone had that inserted into them? They remove it after 3 hours after cervix dialated.

Delurking quickly to say Pheew for mr N. I'm glad it seems to have just been some sneaky virus. Health scares are never any fun.

Critter - Glad you can start again so soon. I understand the desire to put this shitty period of your life behind you.

Fox - 40 days sounds like it is incredibly difficult. I'm glad you're finally in the home stretch!

Euro - Hopefully you can get little centime home soon. She looks so sweet in the pictures.

Joy - How frustrating that you're waiting for a bleed. I hope it gets here today. I have no idea about the dialapan.

Buzz - Glad to hear the fridge arrived, the idea of eating odd combinations brings me back to my childhood shudders

Hand holds and best wishes to everyone here. I am quietly cheering everyone along.

Massive phew for mr n nelly. I'm glad you are enjoying sunny days.

Joy I have had a dilation under GA as I was told it was impossible to do without, yet another load of codswallop from my crapola cons. I imagine it would be a rather uncomfy experience but I'd just wallop down codeine beforehand? Unless they give you painkillers? Could you maybe ask for Valium? Do you like my druggie approach?!! Moan all you like about buserelin. But I found the noristertone made me more evil. Did you figure out what to do about work? I think in your position I'd lie and say it was complex gynae issues that needed resolving?

Euro I am LOVING the photos of tiny euro. Time for fattening up, you must miss her a lot. Hope you're healing up ok.

Critter I think of you lots. Time must feel like it is crawling for you right now but hold on in there.

Buzzy what's for tea with your new found fridge glory?

Acu has helped my head a lot. It has not remotely aroused my ovaries into pregnancy production but it is amazing for ailments.

I now have loads of ewcm on the hrt. Hoping this is normal

Fox - are you much better then?? I hope so but why are you on hrt now? Gees this has been a drugs fuelled mission. Can I ask when your AF came after neothisterone, was it odd? Mine started to come at 9am this morning. I did a dance out of excitement but it has completely disappeared now. It has never done this before...typically and it has to be full flow for a baseline scan. I have booked one in tomorrow anyway but I expect I may be turned away as it has no sign of coming full flow.

Great news about mr nelly. Perhaps he has been fighting off some sort of infection.

Joy do you start injecting Stims soon? I've lost count of where you're at.

Fox. 40 days, wow. No wonder you're suffering. I hope the migraine is lifting now. I really do feel so positive for you about this round. I know it's been difficult but it's going to be so worth it.

Buzz, hope the fridge turned up!

I'm fretting that I have another cyst. Mid cycle I had ovulation pain which I've never had before. I could really feel my left ovary. It's been twinging on and off ever since and I feel quite bloated. Do you think cysts are common after ivf fet? I wasn't even stimmed so don't think it can be that.

Ray - well I have just come from my clinic and my cycle has been cancelled because of a big cyst that has appeared. I think the only way to tell is by scan. I don't think FET would give you one. My cyst is filled with blood and they said probably a direct result from ivf last year. I think it was seen in jan but often cysts disappear. I have to continue downreg f'ing until Monday and will probably stop and then start this downregging process again next month ....but by the sounds of it the NHS don't drain cysts so I may never be able to cycle with it sitting there. I don't think it's going to budge. Funny, I kind of am in that place where I just think...typical.
As for pain ray - they were asking whether things were tender down there and I have to say for me with those dildocams and sometimes sex, can be quite painful and I think it's all related to this blighter.
But on other news - my amh level is at 19. So it has gone from 17 to 3 to 12 to 19. That test is a load of bollocks but these places insist on doing it.

Oh arses joy! I'm so sorry. What happens now, are you booked in for an appointment? Surely they will aspirate it for you if it is blocking treatment? Are you ok?

Ray I do often wonder how a two centimetre follicle doesn't cause more pain as that is pretty large isn't it? So it could just be a usual luteal cyst ok a more uncomfy place? I knew I had a luteal cyst this cycle and also knew it had gone as I could feel it twinging and pinging.

I thought estrogen would make me feel ace. Ha ha! I feel codswallop.

Oh and excellent amh! Swaps!? Not that I know mine I was just told it would be zero. Presumptious?!

joy sorry your cycle has been cancelled :( But that is an impressive AMH, you must be a medical marvel as I was told it didn't alter much :)

foxy how is the donor going with the stimming ??

There is a massive storm outside, I need to go to Tesco

Buzzy I won't know until Wednesday. I hope she is growing eggs lovely lady. I kept thinking of her yesterday and wondering how she motivates to inject herself. If donor works for me, I'll probably think about the donor every day and be so grateful. Do you find you think that a lot or does it become less in the foreground? Hope you don't mind me asking. Also, have you met up with other donor mums at all?

Oh no joy - my heart sank when I read your post. That's awful, after you'd psyched yourself up for it too, I can imagine how terrible and frustrated and upset you must be feeling. I am so sorry. Surely they can't just leave it there? If it's preventing you from going ahead, and if it's been hanging around since last year? It can't be a big job to remove a cyst, surely? If they won't remove it, could you go private for the aspiration?

fox I'm so sorry that you're still going through this crap and feeling rotten. Hang on in there. This too shall pass… not long now. I am sorry though.

ray I think any messing around with our hormones can do funny things. I also think we notice more stuff now as we're focused on what's happening with our bodies.

euro how is centime?

buzzy I eat odd things when I'm on my own. Cheese, fruit, crisps instead of a proper dinner…. scavenging! The pic of mini bee in the paddling pool was adorable. She is so chubby!

sweet I love that you're popping in. Hello!

Nothing exciting going on here. But the weather is lovely today. I'm working from home and MrC made me eggs and bacon for breakfast. My mum got stressed yesterday when I told her I might be squeezing in another round in August because she was worrying about flying during 2ww… she said she didn't know how I would handle another mc. But I figure there's no evidence to say it's a problem… I should just wait and see what the doctor says I guess. It might not even happen until September anyway. Argh, so much stuff to mental over.

Oh critter I think that one of the hardest things about all of this is the inertia. If I try to put myself in your shoes, though I know I can't really, I can only imagine the urgency to be pregnant again and to move on from this horrid bit. I have hated the stalling and false starts and let downs this all brings, it is just so ... suffocating. I'm glad it's sunny and that there are small pleasures you are enjoying. This one day will be another bit of the story and time will pass to get you to the next place very soon. A September cycle would make a nice may baby.. big love.

Joy I've been thinking of you. I would like a rush of bfps on here now please. How many of us are still left?! I'm fearing being that broom holder...

Fox – the amh is bollocks. Mine hasn’t gone up to 19 from 17 in 2010. That is not possible. They had probably tested my fsh. You’re on the home track but blimey what an ordeal.

Critter – there is so much to mental over but you are in good hands and the doctor will be able to guide you. If you are confident flying and your doc is fine about it, then there shouldn’t be a problem with it. plus, you are flying to your homeland which is different to flying to a holiday destination where you don’t want to be if something horrible does happen.

Thanks ladies, I’m pretty disappointed really because it’s the whole build up which I find quite stressful and have been trying to navigate things around work plus several weeks of downregging which is starting to make me feel pretty miserable and the painful scratch (which i presume will no longer be valid) and all for nothing. I’ve just spoken with the private side of the clinic to ask about costs to get it drained but the doc called me and said a) it’s too big for their clinic to drain. (it’s 5cmx5cmx4.5xcm) which sounds massive and b) the nature of the cyst means it’s not a good idea to drain it. It’s not a fluid cyst – it’s full of old blood. He seems to think it will go away on its own but goodness knows how long that will take. This was really my short window for doing this because as you know have got this other thing going on beside work which gets much more intense in Sept so I’m not sure how to fit it around things. This just shows how important it is to try and get something for the freezer because going through the flaff of all this is just no fun. Ha frosties in my dreams only. Ah well, perhaps it’s for a reason....perhaps the golden egg wasn’t there this month. Right chin up, keep smiling as my dad would say.

Oh joy. Wish I could come round with cake and a massive glass of wine. Now I would get a second opinion on that cyst to a) check it's what they think it is and b) to see if it can be safely aspirated. Have they said when they'd check it again? I have no faith that one reading of anything is of much use. Look at me, I've had a fibroid that didn't exist, a womb that has been straight, retroverted and anteverted, two antral follies then ten blah de blah. That really is quite large isn't it? I'm amazed it doesn't hurt more. Do you think it could have been there for ages or responsible for odd cycles? And how does ivf make you have a blood filled cyst? Agh I feel full of rage at this situation for you. But don't trust the info on face value. You are being super strong joy. A 3D scan might be helpful? God I think we could open our own clinic you know.

joy I agree with fox. Get a second opinion. If it hasn't gone away on its own yet, when will it? Your last cycle was a year ago, it hasn't gone away since then. Do they expect you to wait another year and see? This is detrimental to your health. You've been dealing with this shit for years. It's not on to just leave you dangling.

Fox – stupid question perhaps but have you been having problems thinking clearly on these drugs? I can’t tell whether i’ve become a bit spaced because of drugs or lack of sleep or whether it’s just in my head. Also everytime i go to the loos at work i just cry for no apparent reason.
Yes and totally agree i can only imagine the urgency in Critter’s shoes. In fact Critter, I often think about you a lot because you always seem so gracious and you have no ounce of bitterness which i admire.

Fox – not many of us left. I wonder whether we are leaving the same way we came in and i think i posted first so perhaps i’ll be switching out the lights ! But wouldn’t it be lovely if those of us left could be out of here all together.
Ray – did you say you might have IMSI? I noticed they have suggested that for us if Roy’s sperm is no good on the day of EC. Just been looking in to what it is and it seems quite interesting.

Xpost. Fox – it’s laughable when i read what you have been told. I was on the bed for 30 mins this morning as a couple of docs were cooing over the cyst. One doc was telling the other that he hadn’t noted down the measurements of the cyst in Jan – note to doctors, note down the size of the cyst you see! . Anywya the doc at the other clinic who called me this pm is the guy i saw a few weeks ago and I told him if it was there in Jan , why would it suddenly disappear and he looked at my notes and said it wasn’t there in January. But he didn’t scan me in Jan so he’s relying on the nhs clinic. Anyway I have to go back on Monday for another scan and I will double check then as to whether this is the same cyst from January or whether this has appeared this cycle. It may be that these drugs have made it bigger. Buserilin and downregging is actually suppose to make cysts shrink but in some women, they make them get bigger and i might be in that camp. A miracle could happen and this beast could burst with more down regging by Monday in which case i could be good to go.
I’ve done bugger all at work today and i have tonnes to do. I find all this very consuming and very hard to concentrate on other things.

Joy that is exactly how buserelin makes me feel. Like my brain is mushy and a bit jet laggy. I haven't been too tearful, just a bit but I can see the reservoir of tears just there, if this doesn't work. It's hard to know what's chemical and what's real emotions because this is all insanely hard. I think it's a combination of both things. Why do you have to keep downregging?

Ah I see. It might go you know. Mine was 17 mm which is smaller but it went away. And it may well not be blood filled. Honestly if only these things were more of an exact science.

joy when you go back on Monday I would tell them that the cyst may well have been there in January but noone wrote it on your notes (do you remember them mentioning it then?). And I would emphasise how detrimental all this has been to your health - physical and emotional/mental - and that you would really like them to do everything they can to deal with this cyst so that you can progress with the cycle asap. Tell them how long you've been trying! In the meantime - this weekend - I would do a LOT of exercise. Go running, go to the gym - maybe you can get that sucker to burst on its own. And if nothing else, it will help with the frustration and upset. MrC always says when I'm in a state, to go for a swim or a run. When you feel like you can't focus on anything, physical activity is one thing that you can do.

Operation burst joys cyst! Let's all be hormoney and outragey together. I love our thread.