Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

TTC a lot longer than 10 months past and present

999 replies

Cosmonaut1 · 13/02/2014 09:41

A thread full of the loveliest people

OP posts:
foxinorangesocks · 18/07/2014 16:03

Joy did you take painkillers? I took super strength codeine and felt nothing (which makes me think nothing got scratched..) but the cervix wrangling was a bit yucky. What's the thing you're having done? A dilation? My cons (dr big) said you couldn't have that awake? Not that that remotely means it's true. There were no antral follicles on my right ovary last autumn and two on the left and that corresponded exactly with what I got, even thought one follie withered. Does make me wonder if I now started stimming what would happen! I'm not allowing this chain if thoughts to go any further. I made a decision and it gives me better odds and lower chance of chromosomal issues. Wibble.

raydown · 18/07/2014 16:48

Congrats again euro. I hope you're recovering ok and getting to spend some time with baby. We all guessed centime was a girl didn't we?

Fox, very weird. I do think downregging can do that though. Good luck for the next steps.

Joy, our clinic only uses icsi when there is severe male factor. I have heard that lots of clinics do it as standard now and I think that's questionable as to the benefit. I think I've had that mthr test but I'm not totally sure because I've had so many different ones. Did you not get tested for it as part of the recurrent mc checks?

Critter. I don't know anything f about assisted hatching. I've had bv after every ivf round. It's the pessaries that give me it. The dr says they can treat it with anti bs but only on chronic cases and the body usually sorts itself out. It's natural to look for a reason for mc, but the vast majority are due to chromosomal problem and your body is doing the right thing in rejecting a faulty embryo that can't grow into a baby, I know that doesn't make it easier but 1 in 4 embryos end this way so I think you just hit more bad luck.

Waves to everyone.

CritterPants · 18/07/2014 18:04

Yay again euro. Hope you're being looked after and resting. Take it as easy as you possibly can. I really hope the op went ok.

fox this is the right decision. You can always have another shot with own egg IVF further down the road, but this is giving you the best possible shot at a baby right now. You have been through so much, and this option is the most likely to bring the nightmare to an end. Wibbles are natural, but keep your eye on the prize. The prize is in sight! Remember when Dr S upset buzz by telling her to use her own eggs after she'd started DE? It's natural to second guess yourself, but this is going to get you a baby. And you won't give a stuff once the little fox cublet is here.

buzz lovely pictures of little one. She has such a sassy little expression in some of the photos!

nelly don't worry about offence, am not offended at all! All this crap has risks right. But there are so many women who've had all-natural pregnancies who have losses and babies with health ishoos that I've met online since losing J that I now just think it's all a crapshoot. Basically my doctor told me not to worry about any of the stuff I was stressing about, so that calmed me down a bit. I told him I would need a new hobby!

ray v interesting about the BV. I def think it was the pessaries. Thanks for the reassurance too - I guess there isn't anything I can do apart from be extra vigilant about hygiene when putting them in next time.

joy ow to the scratch, that sounds horrid. But so exciting that you're on your way! Oh I am so hopeful for you this time honey.

Nothing doing here. Am back at the docs next Weds for another blood test. Hopefully hcg will be zero by then.

raydown · 18/07/2014 18:19

It's nothing to do with hygiene critter. It's caused by a change in ph, which I think the progesterone or the capsule coating upsets. How to avoid it happening is on my list of things to ask the dr so I'll report back.

joycep · 18/07/2014 18:23

Fox - no painkillers, he did ask at the end whether I took some and I said no. Perhaps that's where I went wrong. But the full bladder, thrush and my cervix being difficult these days didn't make things comfortable. Yes the pulling around in there wasn't good, i think he scratched me quite a few times!! Ok well it's over now.
Dialipan is for people will difficult cervix which mine wasn't last year but too much trauma up there now as probably closed it for business. They insert something in to you which they then have to take out again 3 hours later. Someone on ff said she nearly died having it so that's comforting. I think it was a figure of speech for pain..still!.
Yes keep going as is and know you have come to this decision. All these curve balls aren't helpful mind you. You are doing the right thing. Is this NHS funded? I can't believe I just picked up all my drugs today for £70 as opposed to £3k. I feel like I've won the lottery.

Ray - yes this mthrf is a test for recurrent m/c. Useful to know I'm a mutant! Did you have a lovely break?

Critter - hopefully you will be cracking on shortly again. Totally crapshoot I agree although I have to say for me it is only through Internet forums and fertility clinics that I have heard of the people going through fertility hell like you. All my friends have had a pretty easy ride really and I don't count morning sickness as a bad ride!

WittgensteinsBunny · 18/07/2014 18:42

Hello... Tis me the little regal yellow farm birdy... I've had to nc as I identified someone I know in rl in The Village from an AIBU thread and I'm a bit scared it might happen to me! There is far to much Blush stuff on here to search for!

I haven't checked in for ages and I thought I'd have a quick read whilst Kim Jong Kiki is asleep in her pram.

Critter oh darling, I'm so sorry. I cannot begin to tell you how much my heart aches for you and mr c right now :( I know you're amazing at dealing with shitty stuff and that you are a powerhouse of positivity but I'm angry that this has happened. I always found it took a while to feel ok after mc, sort of intense horribleness for a couple of weeks and then a couple of months of ups and downs and gradual evening out thereafter. Your doctor sounds like a perfect gent. I'm so pleased your surrounded by Good People. I'm sorry. I'd like to stretch my arms across the Atlantic and give you a huge hug. Xxx

Euro I've already said on t'other place, but congrats again, I really really hope you get lots of time with centime today. Thinking of you lots and hoping you recover well. You did it!

fox cheering you through this horrible chemical roller coaster ride. You are doing so incredibly well. You looked AMAZING in your recent fb picture. I'm in awe at your stoic attitude to all of this. Keep going you are soooo nearly there.

Shaking fists at weird cycles Nelly and hoping that mr N is ok and not poorly.

Waves and hugs to all.

CritterPants · 18/07/2014 18:45

Oh interesting ray. I was worried my soap-dodging ways had somehow caused it Blush. Thanks and yes please, do report back!

joy I've heard that MTHRF gene called something else Wink. Good that you got tested for it. And yes, I am so keen to crack on again. Ready for all of us 10 plussers to graduate, once and for all! Then we can all trash the thread and drop the mike, rocker style. Grin

CritterPants · 18/07/2014 19:07

xpost bunny it's so nice to see you here. My addled brain took a while to work out the crossword puzzle clue to your name! I'm doing ok, and you are such a poppet to check in. Hope the little tyrant is giving you some breaks!

Speaking of which... I think centime's RL name might have been mentioned today accidentally in a post. Should we ask for it to be taken down?

raydown · 18/07/2014 19:29

Yes critter, good idea. I think she's always even quite careful not to use real names. Bunny, I've still not worked out who you are. Give me a few minutes! I'm paranoid about being recognized.

Critter, soap is bad for bv. I was told use nothing down below, dr says it's self cleaning. Bit the bv left me with a horrible smell and I was convinced others would be able to smell it too so it was so tempting to use lots of perfumed stuff but apparently that's the worst thing. Mine has lasted about 4 weeks each time and then disappears. It left me feeling quite yucky.

raydown · 18/07/2014 19:31

Joy, bargain drugs I like that!

CritterPants · 18/07/2014 19:55

Looks like it's been sorted.

ray, bunny did the brown diet, if that reminds you!

CritterPants · 18/07/2014 19:56

Also totally agree on how yucky BV is. The critter hoo ha was a proper stinkbox! Nasty!

Buzzybee123 · 18/07/2014 20:01

euro so sorry for my mother of a cock up with the name, I can only apologise for my stupidity, last thing you need right now Blush thanks madness or critter for noticing, glad one of us can engage our brain :)

critter I thought about you last night and had something quite profound to say about miscarriage but sadly I now don't remember it, hopefully it will come back to me, you will feel up and down as it is the uncertainty of why it happened, here in the UK you have 3 before they will investigate if you are under 35

fox my feeling on fertility treatment is that they base everything on a snapshot, to get a real picture they would need to scan and take bloods every month for at least 6 months to get a real view on what is actually going on, critter is right about the wibble, you do wonder about your own eggs, Mr S did make me think for a bit about it, but when your de ivf works you won't care, I just wanted a baby and with the best odds of it working, I felt my eggs were too crap and could be the cause of my miscarriages along with the crap immune problem, I still have tears when I think how lucky I am to have my little girl and how if it wasn't for my donor I could still be trying or most likely called it a day, the end is in sight

ray they will most likely suggest you use the back door Hmm

joy I haven't had the scratch but I thought it was supposed to be uncomfortable not painful, hope you are resting up, not long till you will be out of the starting blocks, I know of other women who have had the mthrf testing from another thread, will your clinic supply you with your immune treatment drugs??

eurochick · 19/07/2014 20:55

No problem buzz. It was my fault - in my drug addled haze when I posted here I copied my FB post and used my real name but realised straight away and MNHQ edited it very quickly. I think you just copied my mistake!

joy people seem to have such different experiences of the scratch. For me, getting the wider than they use for ET catheter in was more painful than the scratch itself.

All change for us today. We happened to mention to one of the NICU nurses last night that once I'm discharged we'd be happy to see the baby moved to our local hospital. We found out at 11am today that they were moving her at noon! She was ready to be moved to SCBU anyway and they were desperate for the cot. So we managed to get me discharged as well early this afternoon (I had been hoping to go this evening anyway and they were happy to bring it forward as I am doing fine). We've just been to see her in her new home and she's had a small setback in that she is now jaundiced but that should be sorted fairly soon and now she is local we can see her easily whenever we want to (the local mini cab firms are going to make out due to me not being able to drive for a while).

BTW I'll be putting some photos up tomorrow on FB so if anyone who has befriended me would be upset by that, please hide me.

Buzzybee123 · 19/07/2014 21:59

euro I think jaundice is quite common, they use a lamp to help, BB had a bit of jaundice when she arrived, glad that she has been moved closer so its easier for you to visit, can't wait to see her picture and find out her name :)

raydown · 19/07/2014 22:37

It sounds like you're both doing really well euro :) I bet it feels good to be home and little centime is doing great to be out of nicu already. Jaundice is really common, will she get the sun bed treatment? I'd love to see photos :) :)

WittgensteinsBunny · 20/07/2014 07:15

Euro that's really fab news. Sounds like you're all doing brilliantly. Looking forward to pics. Hope you're feeling ok xx Thanks

Waves at buzzy

Ray hello! Tis me p r i n c e s s Wink how are you doing? Hope you're alright and enjoying the sun :)

raydown · 20/07/2014 07:59

Hey bunny! Nice to see you here. I did work it out eventually, I'm a bit slow! How's baby bunny? Are you ttc no. 2?

seamermaid · 20/07/2014 08:23

Just wanted to congratulate Euro on her little girl. Happy to hear it's going well. Jaundice is v common. Hope you are healing and little one gets stronger every day.

Love to all 10 plussers especially to fox and joy on your upcoming cycles. I still read from time to time and silently cheering you all on!

Cosmonaut1 · 20/07/2014 18:04

Hello all. Am settling in for a post holiday catch up.

Euro as per the other place massive congratulations. Am so pleased that she's out of nicu so soon, I don't know much about that area but that sounds like a great sign that she's doing well. Sorry about the jaundice, again I don't know much about it but it sounds common. I hope you are starting to be able to relax and will get to be enjoying it all very soon. How are you healing physically? How long do they anticipate keeping her in for?
Looking forward to seeing pictures.

Critter, am glad you are feeling ready to crack straight on with another round. You're incredibly brave. It's so easy to disappear into a hole after rounds, well I know I have. One of the recent docs I saw who was talking about implantation said that the embie needs to bed in right and if it doesn't quite happen properly for whatever reason that frequently mc's are caused. As these are the only 2 go's of embie meeting womb that you can be certain of that's a pretty great falling pg track record. I really really hope that this mc was a one off. I don't know much about assisted hatching, I don't think I've ever read much about it helping or hindering. We are so in the docs hands to a large extent. Is it more usual in the US? When we did the whole sending menstrual stuff to Athens my result included BV, and they prescribed anti-b's but I never had a follow up to check if it was cleared. Sometimes I get an odd smell down there but then it seems to stop. Will they let you start again literally as soon as your hcg hits zero?

Fox, all I can say is OMG. You must have nearly fallen off the bed. We know how devastated you felt about being told you had so few follies, and I really really hope this goes a long way in addressing some of those feelings we all have to keep fighting that are so intrinsically linked to our self-esteem. It's not that you are somehow very nearly menopausal. It's so much more complex than that isn't it, and just shows again how the docs only know so much and that things can change incredibly from one month to another. You've had an incredibly difficult time, and it's not all down to you, there are things we just don't understand, but right now you're in the middle of giving yourself a fantastic opportunity of creating the happy family you deserve. Critter is wise, there's a lot to be said for keeping your eyes on the prize, and know that there are always other opportunities and options whilst we're brave enough to pursue them. Every time I see photos of mini-buzz I just think how amazing.

Joy I was fascinated to read about your consultation with the consultant. How interesting, and it makes a lot of sense. ICSI is a great new science but how much can they really tell through a microscope, there must be a whole load of selection stuff that goes on that they don't know about yet. And growth hormone, how interesting, it just goes to show again that different docs and clinics and protocols can vary so much and i think this sounds like a more tailored protocol which can only be a good thing. It all sounds very promising and you have every reason to feel positive. With regards to telling work, I know I found it so much easier when I told them and just had one standing agreement, so I didn't need to keep asking but just managed my own time. However they were very supportive. Do you have a relevant policy or HR dept, or is the company too small. I think in your shoes I would be tempted to try a half-way house, something like saying to them you've got a medical issue which requires you to have a series of appointments, and you intend to manage it in your own time / round work etc so it impacts as little as possible. And when they ask what it is, to say well it's a women's issue and you think it might be more comfortable for all concerned if you don't go into specifics. At least then you could gauge the reaction and how you feel talking to them etc, and how supportive they might be, and then depending how it goes either leave it at that, or tell all, or back out. They might be happy to just agree without having further discussion if they feel uncomfortable! In theory you are supported by employment law, but pursuing a company through employment tribunals isn't much fun. I agree with the paper chain.

Nelly how worrying about MrN, hope he's ok. Glad there are logical explanations that hopefully turn out to the the case. Sorry too for the what's going on with ov. Did you catch it either way?

MrsD lovely pics on the other place.

Running out of battery so waves all round and sorry for people and things I missed.

OP posts:
eurochick · 20/07/2014 20:27

ray she is indeed having the sunbed treatment. We managed a little cuddle today though. Photos are now up.

WittgensteinsBunny · 20/07/2014 21:12

Euro your photos are beautiful. She's gorgeous. I had tears over the kangamama picture. Just lovely. Congrats again xx

Ray we decided to take a casual approach to TTC / contraceptive because when it's taken 4 years to get one baby and you're breastfeeding a toddler round the clock, it's going to take ages again right? Wrong. Bfp yesterday. Shock we're really in a LOT of shock. I don't know how to explain it. This really feels like a miracle conception. More so than mini bunny. I'm very happy, but also very terrified. I didn't really want a small gap but then we felt we didn't have the luxury of choice in waiting and planning like "normal" couples. I'm terrified of mc right now, this is my 4th pregnancy and I've only got one mini bunny to show.

I didn't know whether to tell you lot. Because I feel like I've stolen the luck. Or you'll consider me an a+. Or even worse I'll cause upset. I hope not, I certainly haven't intended too. But I feel like I've been on this journey with you and, well, actually I don't know what to say or how to be tactful. As I said, I'm in shock right now!

Hope you've all had lovely weekends.

Xx

CritterPants · 21/07/2014 01:58

Bunny that is amazing news! Fantastic and wonderful and just lovely. Grin Grin Grin I know you must be terrified too. I will just offer a paw squeeze and say today you are pregnant. And you haven't stolen the luck, you've been through the mill... Maybe this is the turning point for the ten plussers where things start looking up. You are the opposite of A plus.

Euro she is just gorgeous and you look beautiful and SO happy. Lovely.

Buzz I am always thinking I've had a profound thought and then forgetting what it was, you are doing well to be profound with mini bee on your hands! She is so cute and smooshable now.

Cos thank you for your lovely long post. Pics of your hols on the other place look stunning. I think your luck is about to radically change for the better. I am very keen to get on with the next round ASAP. The mc has been rough on me, I've cried a lot over the past couple of weeks, but it's been more than six months since J died and I just want to crack on and lay this shitty period of my life to rest.

joycep · 21/07/2014 11:18

Euro - my goodness centime is amazing! I am in awe

Bunny - that's fab news, congratulations!! Goodness is this the first 2nd ten plusser?!! I have to say, I know you didn't have confidence but I didn't think you would ever have a problem conceiving another child. I just think previously you had a hormonal imbalance which actually when you got sorted with your diet, you were pregnant pretty quickly. But after that slog it's hard isn't to believe you can do it again. A previous miscarriage is always going to make you nervous but you have had a baby so you know your body can do it and I am sure you'll be fine again. But I know it's hard to be confident sometimes. Anyway you can clearly conceive on your own which is a god send !! Wishing you a relaxing and healthy pregnancy.

Cos- I am so appreciative of your advice about how to approach my managers and what to say . We don't have an hr dept sadly as that would make things easier. There are only 6 of us. Sitting here very nervous as the CEO is in the office today and I am wondering whether I will pluck up the courage to say something. I wish I wasn't so pathetic or put so much pressure on myself. I hate feeling unreliable but it also doesn't help that they aren't approachable. How are you anyway??

Critter - of course you want to crack on again and after a hellish year I am not surprised you are feel emotional. It is grossly unfair what has happened.

Right I have come off the tablets, I am injecting burselin to down reg me and now just need a bleed and I hope the next scan show the cyst thing they saw has disappeared. I absolutely loathe all these drugs...it's all a bit disconcerting especially as I am on more than the last clinic which seems impossible!!

raydown · 21/07/2014 11:45

Love the photos euro. They brought a tear to my eye, she really is perfect and doesn't look that small at all. I hope the travel to hospital isn't too tough on you.

Bunny, congratulations! I'm not surprised at all. Like joy said I always thought you wouldn't have problems with a second for some reason. I understand the worry having had previous mc but you've done this once and you can do it again. What will the age gap be?

Joy, if you do tell your boss I'd ask for it to be treated confidentially ie on a need to know basis and the whole office don't need to know. Also, I agree about keeping meticulous records on every conversation. One of the hardest things I've found with the cycles is fitting it in with work. I know I can't say anything though because I know I'll be looked over from that point on because they'd assume it's going to work and I'll be going off on maternity. Also, here many women don't return to work for a long time so pregnancy is basically the end of your career.

Cos, your holiday photos look beautiful. I hope it was a good break.

I feel totally out of it in terms of ttc. I still don't know when we will cycle again and I must admit that I feel very negative about it all. I think because I've never had a bfp then I can't envisage a positive outcome ever. I read so much optimism on this thread but I can't share in it for myself.