TTC a lot longer than 10 months past and present

[Cosmonaut1]

A thread full of the loveliest people

nelly my clinic do it as standard for all frozen transfers. Hmm. So they did it for our last round and would do it for the next one too. There isn't another option. Ugh. I guess I should email my doc and ask him about it. I know I'm not a scientist and there could be any number of reasons why I mced. I think I had an infection from the pessaries while I was away - I had watery, strong smelling discharge (sorry for TMI) which Google tells me is bacterial vaginosis and linked to an increased risk of MC in the first tri. I just can't bear the idea of it happening again.

Critter – i agree with Nelly. Are you investigating assisted hatching for yourself? It doesn’t seem like you need as all the ones that have been transferred so far have hatched by themselves...I’m so pleased you have a lovely doctor. Interesting that he doesn’t want you to try naturally. He probably just thinks that will stress you out more with the waiting for cycles etc.

Lemon – i do think it’s so interesting how so many top embies don’t work. Perhaps the good/average ones should be the one we are hoping for.

Nelly – i’m glad there are lots of logical explanations for MrN. Over exercise can often do all sorts of things. I remember my WBC went completely abnormal after IVIG which i found intriguing.

Euro – is Centime 34 or 35 weeks today. Any more news on plan??

Fox - did norithesterone make you pmt ish? I’ve felt very periody for the last few days and i’m only on day 7 – cramps and really rather bad tempered and teary.

I’ve really been wondering whether i should try and gain the courage to come clean to the ceo and manager (very unapproachable men on personal matters) here at work because I know all too well from experience how stressful it was last year trying to do ivf on the sly. At the end of the day i take holiday time for EC and half days off for intrallipds but it’s the scans that they require me to do which could cause problems me getting out at odd times of day. If i can just pluck up the courage to ask for a bit of flexibility for a few weeks, i think it would help my stress levels by about 90%. Roy said that they wouldn’t be able to get rid of me but they could easily phase me out or make me redundant in 6 months because they know my plans. But if they do this , could I sue for unfair dismissal? Perhaps i’m over thinking things. If it was any other medical issue , i wouldn’t have a problem coming clean but for some reason fertility treatment is hardly classified as a ‘real’ medical issue and could easily be seen as a lifestyle choice from a work perspective. Feel my heart racing just at the thought.

X post critter - could you get a test for BV before your next cycle? It just requires a swab. Miscarriages do make you go berserk in wondering why it happened when normally it would be just down to chromosome but it's worth getting Bv checked just to put your kind at rest

Joy I would do it, and then follow up with an email so you have a record of the discussion in writing. If it will make this less stressful, do it. It might help the cycle - who knows.

I am definitely a bit berserk! Worried another mc might make me actually crazy. I mean, I'd deal with it and be ok, but it'd just be a lot to cope with.

Another frustrating thing was I asked immediately post mc if I needed rhogham ( the shot to stop Rh neg women producing antibodies that might attack future Rh pos babies) and the nurse told me that she would ask. Then yesterday she told me that I did - but you're meant to have it within 72 hrs. So it's too late. Apparently the risk of sensitization before 6 weeks is super low but I feel like it was a bit sloppy of them not to tell me within the correct time frame. I had rhogham when I was pregnant and then James turned out to be Rh neg anyway. But it's just one more thing to overthink.

Critter - I was thinking about you last night and thinking what a hellish nightmare you have been through and now ending up at the beginning yet again. It is just so bloody unfair. Is it any wonder you are feeling berserk. Yes that is sloppy but I have enquired before about this and they don't jab you in the uk if you m/c early but is it different if you have had a baby before? Make sure you ask some questions and tell them you aren't pleased. Be American about it! I thinks the risks are so low.

I lost a huge post

Joy that all sounds very thorough. Did I ever say on here that I think growth hormone may have a connection with my ishoos? Take a look at longevity, growth hormone and fertility, it's really interesting. Ok so glad you have someone taking an interest. I'd so love that. I'll be heavily researching clinics before I ever do ivf again. I would tell work and leave a clear paper trail. 90 percent less stress has to have a good impact? I think they'd be on very dodgy ground to let you go plus foolish as you are the hardest worker ever!

Critter I don't know much about hatching. I totally understand why you want to think all these things through and your cons sounds like a lovely man.

Nelly when do you find out about mr n?

Euro are you still around?

I'm struggling today. I think it's chemical but I feel like I'm juggling loads of balls and have been for loads of days and any day soon I'm going to drop them all over the floor and will be left with no balls at all. How profound ha ha!

fox I get that feeling, you have been carrying a very very heavy load for a very long time. And you must be exhausted, honey. And feel like there is no relief in sight. It's just miserable and I am so sorry.

joy this is going to be a new chapter for you . It sounds really promising. Agree with fox - paper chain is key.

I emailed my IVF doc and he said BV usually resolves itself on its own but he can do a swab if I want next time. He also said something about assisted hatching being best for the defrost ed eggs - basically I didn't really understand but google shows that it doesn't have any effect on MC rates so I guess if it is what he recommends, it's probably fine.

I am just so tired of thinking about this. It feels like running a marathon and then being told at the end that you've been disqualified and have to start training all over again, but this time for a longer and more difficult course.

Critter I get the marathon feeling though I know it must be magnified so much for you. It's rubbish isn't it. I've been following and talking with people on mn and fertility friends and I don't see much success with de (buzzy I keep thinking of you) and there are so many many stumbling blocks, especially in a shared egg cycle. It's good that your doctor can be reassuring. We know so much as long term triers. Sometimes I wish I could undo all the ttc knowledge and be innocent and devoid of a bank of facts that rival many a gp.

I spent time with a lovely friend and very small baby today. I'd really looked forward to baby cuddles which HAS to be progress. But it does bring on broody feelings. I wish I could prepare for having a baby/maternity leave/finances etc. I think if I do ever get pregnant I will feel totally underprepared, akin to pre trying days if that makes sense? When we first started trying Id worked out all money etc, potential childcare strategies and so on. I don't have a clue about any of that anymore.

hello ladies sorry I have been having a MN break after 'that thread' I shall try to catch up

euro sorry you've had such a stressful time with blood flow issues, I wouldn't worry the birth, you just want your baby delivered safely and you won't have time to think about it after, you'll be in awe of your little miracle

critter I am so sorry about your miscarriage, its heartbreaking, I asked about AH with my cycle and they told me I wouldn't need it, another clinic here sent me an article saying that there was not much evidence that it helped so its hard to say I just wanted to throw everything at it

foxy You are going through the mill my lovely, I chat on a private FB page for my clinic that I'm sure you could join, there has been a few successes on there lately, also there is a lady from the IVF board who also had shared DE, motorcyclemama, I'm sure she would answer any questions you might have, do you have a transfer date??

Right I shall read back and catch up :)

Yay buzzy! No transfer date yet as until we are both downregged the donor stays on the pill. I did have (a rather pathetic) bleed so am being scanned again tomorrow. I guess if shared de never worked they wouldn't do it but it feels very dicey. I just can't imagine I could be that lucky?

Love the photos on fb by the way

Hi Buzzy . Yes, gorgeous photos :)

Critter, ah I did wonder as I posted (at speed, on phone, waiting for a coffee) if you'd had it done. Hope I wasn't insensitive . I'm sure it wasn't the cause of the mc, but I can only imagine how you are analysing every little thing. Annoying about the injection too, though I confess I know nothing about it.

Fox, you'll keep the balls up even if it doesn't feel like it. You've got this far. It's going to be ok . Thanks for asking about Mr N. He is at the nurse for bloods tomorrow. Knowing the NHS he'll get the urgent results in December. Or is that just "unimportant" fertility? He's not apparently ill, and is in fact just back from a couple of days in Laanden working like a slave as always. I should maybe go and talk to him!

Joy, yes, tell your work I think. There comes a point where you run out of excuses. Critters strategy is good.

Waves to everyone else. Soothing lullabies for Lembie .

foxy your chances are probably higher with DE, silly question is your donor giving eggs to you and another person or is she sharing with you, its hard as your oe ivf didn't really happen, so you are not able to compare what your own eggs/sperm could do. There is no reason why you won't get a few embryos out of this, you only need one to stick :)

joy I always thought ICSI was for lazy/crap sperm and only used if needed, it does make me wonder if the ARGC used it to help massage their figures

nelly what is happening with you?? Yes I have to say critter that I don't think that injection is offered here but interesting to know

joy I told my work as I needed them to understand my upcoming mood swings with the drugs and I needed them to either support me or to stay the hell away from me. It must be tough and exhausting trying to keep something so private from work

Just a quick one from me for anyone not with us on FB. Baby, a girl, arrived yesterday at exactly 34 weeks. She weighs a teeny tiny three and a half pounds and is in intensive care but seems to be doing well. I've seen her for about three seconds so far as I had a bit of a bad time with the section and aftermath. I particularly don't recommend puking with fresh abdominal stitches. Hoping to be able to get up and see her soon.

Buzz - lovely to see you back. Did make me smile that you told work to keep away from you!! Haha

Fox - can you elaborate a bit more on the growth hormone issue? Tried looking it up and I can only find positive things with fertility but it does seem another drug which quite possibly hasn't been fully tested which does concern me. I am sorry about the balls juggling. I think all this can get way too much and all the chemicals. It is just frightful.

Critter - yes a marathon . That's what it is. I think whatever your docs have been doing is working to get you pregnant and have nothing to do with your rotten luck.

Nelly - glad mrn gets some bloods done tomorrow and hope the results come back quickly.

Anyone had the MTHR test? I was called yesterday to say I need to double my dose of folic acid. I just have the 1 gene mutation so not the double one where this is a link between miscarriages but with one mutant there may be link with miscarriages although a lot of people have this mutation. It should be tested as a matter of course if you miscarry apparently .

Yay again Euro!!

A ten plusser laying is a special thing. Welcome to the world centime :)

Joy, sorry I was a bit vague with that. So, there is a tendency in my family to live for practically forever. I read this and it got me delving further. It's probably a bit flimsy and there are articles that dispute but but it makes sense to me. There is no cancer in my family (touch wood) on either side and low growth hormone seems related but also seems needed for fertility. What do you think? It gave me something to cling on as a possible reason for my mysterious ovary feebleness.

Thanks for the reassurance buzzy. The sharing is between two recipients from an altruistic donor. There needs to be a minimum of eight eggs in order to share or they all go to one person ( don't know who) so this could all be for nothing but I'd get another go. I wouldn't do sharing again, the synching makes it last so long. I wish I had seen eggs and sperm mix as we still don't know if there is a sperm issue. But, having so few eggs I decided they may be duff and I don't want to risk a pregnancy where I'm worried about that.

euro thanks so much for the update. thinking of you and your daughter and mr euro. Wishing you both speedy recover. big hugs and congratulations.

euro congrats again.

joy its hard to know how work will react, they should be supportive but I know I have colleagues who have no interest in my personal life so just wanted to make it clear that I was likely to be more irrational than normal

Syncing 3 people together must be a nightmare especially if you are the one being mucked about, I would have thought you and the other recipient would DR together and then the donor would start to stim, do yo know if your donor has done this before??

Ah fox, fascinating. I wonder if you can get this tested just out of nosiness. I reckon there could definitely be something in it. My family also live a long time and touch wood no cancer (now wonders). I would tAke reproduction over longevity but perhaps that's because I am sick to death of all this.

Oohhhhhhh Euro I thought that was her first name as well. Durrrrr. Thanks Buzz for highlighting. So our theory (well not sure whose theory it was) about slow growing embies being girls is holding up.

I am downregged! I also have far more antral follicles than I did in November (about five on each side) say waiting now for nurse thinking what the actual fuck?!!!!

Fox??? Are you a medical marvel whereby DR actually makes your ovaries resist. If DE doesn't work (though I am sure it will) try long protocol. This was always an argument I had with my clinic - how will I know which is better if I don't try both; but they point blank refused to entertain the idea.

Euro, Yay again for Centime. Hope you get baby cuddles very soon, but take it easy and don't be a super-hero.

Back later maybe but friends staying.

It is bizarre nelly. I don't think it can be the dhea as I stopped it in April. She just made a comment breezily like yes you are now good to go, I can see lots of tiny follicles but nothing to worry about and I was like WHAT STOP RIGHT THERE AND COUNT THEM!!! Ha ha. She said that was what she could see without looking more closely but she thought there were more smaller ones too. I did say it's still not very many is it and she said well no not really. I mean 5 on each side is still pretty grim but for me sounds positively bountiful and I feel bloody chuffed that my ovaries are not entirely bald and that the menopause may not happen in my thirties. Do you think downregging can do this then? My mind boggles. I wish things were a bit more definite with these facts. I just thought that as I had a scan with two follies on left and none on right that that was it, end of story and that I'd never get any more. It does make me wonder what the issue is and get fretful that it is something that will impact on donor treatment too, like womb environment or sperm.

So now we are both downregged and the donor comes off the pill, has a period and starts menopur on day 2 and I start other gubbins (H does drugs and calls them silly names, it helps). I so so so hope I get an embryo all of my very own!

Euro hope you've had a little stroke of face or hand.

Fox - wtf indeed, what does all this mean? I hope you get some answers and btw 10 is good! They look for 7 in total so anything above is great. But did they just not see these follicles before?

And I've just had the endometrial scratch and wtf I don't remember anyone saying it was painful but bloody hell out of everything I have had done awake that was the worst. He was really struggling with the catheter and had to widen things even more and boy oh boy. I have to have dialapan next week which apparently is unpleasant but will make ET easier. I start burselin tonight but I still may not go ahead as there looks like a big cyst or follicle there so will have to see on baseline scan after my bleed next week.