All that she wants is A baby! The Berries searching for the 'sign' but never symptom spotting (honest), possibly using a vagina jack and trying to get a FUFC before boarding the IVF train (thread 18)

[Bunnygirlie]

The smallprint –
Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 12+months, NO instadiffers, must have a special pot and def no mention of baby dust or baby dancing UGH !!! Ooooh aren’t we strict!

Aw congratulations bunny! So glad all is well! X

Yay bunny!!! I saw this in the other place too but you can never have too many yays! So happy for you, hope we'll all be joining you in the copter soon!

Congratulations Bunny that must have been a fantastic moment How are you feeling?

Thanks Barking iui does sound like it will be right for you. I think I'll do a little more research as I don't think she's really told us much about it. Only 1 IVF attempt is really tight! Hopefully you won't even need that

Thanks ladies x

beaky it still doesn't feel real after 2 years of trying, I'm sure it'll sink in once we start telling people next week.

P.s. baby merklet arrived today too. A good day in berry land

Awwww Bunny congratulations, it must have been such a magical moment.

Bloody hell where is everyone?? Better put out the Berry bat signal seen as our resident stripper is PUPO and in no condition for such shenanigans!

Well, finally had time to read my chasing rainbows and I am another customer not disappointed. She's recommended vit B6 combined with vit C to extend my LP. I've tried the B6 before but not in combination with C.
The plan was lovely although it didn't make me cry. However the 'bridging the gap - ttc after miscarriage' mp3 had tears rolling down my face. I'd probably be sobbing right now if I wasn't lying in bed trying not to wake up DH (or have to explain what I was listening to).
No sales pitch, she sent me my plan (5 pages long), two mp3 tracks specific to my issues, and a food plan complete with recipes so I can 'cleanse' my liver which will apparently balance my hormones. Also an offer to send her my charts for the next two cycles (guess I'll start temping again then!) and to get in touch in 2 months if my cycles haven't improved.
All in all, very impressed and as others have said, very specific to me and tapped in to everything I was worried about and explained how it was going to be easily fixed.
If anyone is considering it I'd thoroughly recommend it. For £40 you basically get a very detailed consultation and a great personal plan to work from. It's a small price to pay for the positive mindset she can help you with and that feeling that there is something you can can be doing to help rather than feeling lost and helpless.

Happy weekend everyone, and a special welcome to baby merk, hope mum and baby are doing ok.

What was the bat signal that worked last time happy? Was it a massive sausage projected in the sky?

I believe it was barking - maybe it should be a sausage leaping over a rainbow seeing as we're almost all on board with these plans now!
I have saved my mp3s for the weekend (this week has been hellishly busy) - looking forward to a good therapeutic sob (what a weirdo).

I think the fact she offers follow up is great, she def seems committed to her customers so let's hope she fixes all of us quickly!!

Hope everyone has nice weekends planned. I am going to an organ music concert tonight (don't ask).

Congratulations bunny. This must be so exciting for you. And congratulations to merkin and baby merkin too.

Bushy, did you get some reassurance about the sniffing from your doctors? Hope all going well.

Parsley, fingers crossed this is your month and the charm worked.

The rainbow plans sound great. Will be great to hear progress with them from all of you.

Happy, I'm in South Wales, too, but only adopted Welsh. Am originally from the mainland so I apologise in advance if at some point I have a rant about the health care system. My sister was in exactly same position 15 years ago and she was able to choose a clinic she wanted without paying for it! And she was successful. My beautiful niece is a fully-fledged stroppy teenager now.

DP has agreed to check out the FC here, so I will be on the phone to them on Monday. Almost called yesterday but chickened out. I'm off for a weekend away for our last match of the season. Does anyone have any experience with exercise while ttc? How much is ok? I cycle pretty much everyday and train once a week for two hours, with the occasional match at the weekend. I think that's normal but my mother, bless her, thinks I am doing too much and that's why ttc is taking so long (on top of potential swimmer issues, I guess).

Happy weekend everyone.

Morning all. Yes Barking t'was indeed the giant sausage. Though it does seem a bit busier in here this morning. Glad you are pleased with your rainbows report. Going to look in to it myself I think. I laid down last night at 8:30 to listen to my (20 minute) Zita West mp3 and woke up over 2 hours later! Think it sent me in to a coma. She does say its fine to fall asleep as your subconscious will still absorb what she's saying . It was on repeat as well so it must have played about 7 times!
Rant away kamikaze. I'm appalled by the absolutely fucking shocking NHS here and even more so by the fact that waiting times for IVF used to be around 6 weeks before WAG monumentally screwed up . Are you looking at private FCs? If so we went to an open evening in CRGW in Llantrisant and were very impressed although we have nothing to compare it to. I would still advise persuing the NHS route though even if its just to get some of the blood tests and SAs done at the GPs - they'll take no time at all.
Have a good day all.

kami what do you train for and what type of cycling do you do? You've got me on my pressure point here! I saw an acupuncturist (not the one I'm seeing now) before Christmas who had me crying all the way home as she told me running was bad for ttc as I didn't have enough energy in my kidneys for that and getting/staying pg and I should stop, or at least cut down to one gentle jog a week - I was running 3 or 4 times a week, two of which were training sessions with my club, and fell racing at the weekend. Running was my life, and the only thing keeping me sane. It was the only positive thing about not being pg, the only thing I could do that my pg friends weren't able to (the fb comment from a friend moaning that she was 'too fat (pg) to run' sent me over the edge). I really hated the acupuncturist (and never went back to her) and doubted myself - had I caused the mc? But anyway, I then did a fell race in late December and injured my knee and haven't been able to run since - oh the irony....

So instead of running I've been working on my upper body and abs with climbing and circuit training, and have replaced running with cycling (which I was keen on before, but running 4 times a week was getting in the way). I also do Ashtanga yoga once a week (the strength training kind, not a relaxing one!) Nothing I'm doing now is high impact, so I feel like I'm keeping fit and healthy, but not in a 'going too far' way. More sedentary friends of mine still think I'm doing a lot. I'm aiming on one mountain bike and one road ride a week as soon as the clocks change and the evenings are get lighter, as I'll be able to get one ride in at the weekend and one on an evening

parsley I didn't get a chance to listen to my mp3s yesterday but was wide awake again at 6am this morning so put the headphones in my phone and gave one a go! I've got another which I haven't listened to yet. About to print out the recipes and attempt start my week of cutting out crap and cleansing my liver....

Have a good day happy

I'm really, really struggling today. Felt quite positive this morning after reading my catching rainbows stuff again and listening to the mp3. Then I printed off the recipes to show DH and he asked where I got them from. I didn't want to tell him, I just wanted him to look at the meal plan and see if he thought it was doable. I asked him again to look at it but he was busy doing something else and was distracted. I was very irrationally upset (it's not like he refused to look at it, he was just busy and didn't realise this was important to me, just assumed it was the latest thing I'd got off the internet). I went back to bed (having been awake since 6am) and just dozed and felt depressed all morning, not helped by him starting a DIY project that was doomed to failure before he began, and then arranging to go for a walk with his best mate and his wife (the one I've been avoiding). He just said 'I'm presuming you're not coming?'. I said obviously not. He asked if I minded him going and that he'd do something with me if I wanted to, but I told him to go. He knew I was down and asked what was up and I just said I really didn't know. He said he didn't know what to do to help.
He's now out and I've just spent the rest of the day feeling down/crying/not getting anything done and wasting the day/getting frustrated at myself for wasting the day/crying because I was frustrated.

Then I realised that today was the 22nd and I should be 8 months pg today. It's now exactly a month until my due date and I can't tell you how much I'm dreading it. From that point on I just haven't been able to snap out of it. I can't think of anyone in RL to pick up the phone to who will have any idea what I'm on about. The only person that would come close is my ex best friend who uninvited me to her birthday and resigned as bridesmaid because I didn't work harder to make her believe I was was happy for her when she finally got pg.

How do I snap myself out of it and why haven't I learnt some better coping strategies by now? 2 years 3 months of ttc and 6 months since the mc - none of this is new. Arse.

Oh barking sorry you are having a down day, TTC sucks without adding a mc on top.
I don't have any wise words but sending hugs and

barking sorry that you are having a down day. Sending you a hug xx. I have certainly had days where nothing seems right and I can't snap out of the misery. Don't be too hard on yourself or DH.

barking I'm sorry the blues have got you today. This might not be helpful but I've found the best coping strategy for me when the blackness calls is to just remind myself that I am the one in charge of my emotions. If i don't want to feel sad, then I don't have to.
I can't really explain how or why it works for me but it does (at least temporarily). I don't know if you and I got the same mp3 from Lucy bit I've been trying to focus on the whole drawing a line under what has been and trying but not always succeeding to focus on what is coming, and hopefully for both you and me (and all the other berries) that is out BFPs. Chin up, tits out my love

Barking I'm sorry

Merk, I guess you will not be reading for a while, but congrats!

Kamikaze, welcome, belatedly.

Bunny, well done you!

.....so the news in Peasantland is we are not trying this month. Basically in 2009 I found to my surprise that I had a diseased right kidney. Always very sporty and healthy, no pain, so big shock. I had surgery on 2011 form it but it didn't go well and as a result they have continued to monitor me. In early 2013 they discovered my left kidney was also compromised. They have kept monitoring in case, and last time the surgeon said he thought it would require another op and he just wanted to do one more scan.... Which was done last month. They have called me in for an appointment with him toute suite, with only a six week wait, which is an absolute fucking record, so I am seeing him on the 31st. I am fairly sure that this is because my kidney scan is abnormal and I need to have surgery.

What makes me surer of this is that I have been experiencing a lot of pain with it recently which is not normal. Having sex with kidney pain is no fun and also I do not want to face the decision of having to have surgery under a GA whilst pg, or ending a pg to enable surgery if my kidneys are really bad.

So I am missing this month till I hear from the consultant. Frankly I feel like shit about it. Last time I had surgery it took them 18 months to sort it out, and then it is a multi stage operation over a couple of months, and then a couple more months healing time before we could even try ttc. So if surgery, then I guess we are looking at putting our ttc plans off for a year. At least. I will be 35 soon. I am quite sure I will never have a baby.

And yes I know that is super self indulgent.........

Thanks tiger and bunny.
Parsley I think the mp3 is 'bridging the gap between mc and ttc', something like that.

I think my problem at the moment is suddenly having time. For the past 6 months I've had the wedding to use as a distraction tool and we're usually away a lot of weekends. I've got lots of school work to do but it's the last thing I can concentrate on if I'm feeling down. There are plenty of other things to keep me busy but nothing that has to be done. I wanted to get out on the bike today but none of my usual riding mates were available and I didn't want to go on my own.
Also, Lucy's plan said that April was going to be a tough month and I had to just let myself roll with it. I suppose initially I just thought it would be cathartic to let myself have a moment and get it out of my system, but then realising the date, DH spending the day with bump etc etc just meant I spiralled down and couldn't lift myself out. Had a big talk with DH when he got home. I didn't feel any better for it but he said it helped him to know what was wrong even if he couldn't do anything to help. Dragged myself out for a curry tonight with DH and a couple of friends. Spent the first half still on the verge of tears and the second half trying to stay awake. Hoping tomorrow is a brighter day.....

rp argh, that really must be so frustrating for you both. I know it's all for the long term best, but any delay for us lot for any reason is just crap. I hope your consultant gives you some more optimistic timings and you're back on the bandwagon sooner than you're thinking. You will get your baby tho, of that I am confident.

barking yes that was it! What you say makes total sense, having a distraction as big as a wedding and then going back to having lots of spare time is a big adjustment for anyone who's got married let alone when you've got all this stuff going on.
I am also dreading my EDD (June). I optimistically thought I'd be pg again by then but having to consider the very probable likelihood that I won't be. It's my birthday and wedding anniversary around that date too, so it's just going to be a shitty old month. All I can say is be kind to yourself and know that even when you feel no one IRL is there to talk to, you can always rant at us!

rp that's a lot to have to deal with, never mind ttc . I guess you won't know for definite until your appointment on 31st but try not think worst case scenarios before you have all the information. Easier said than done I know. X

Sorry rp xpost with you last night. That's really shitty. It's not self indulgent at all to be pi55ed off at the prospect of further surgery and a delay to ttc.
Hope the news on the 31st is better than you're expecting, or at the very least that they get you in quicker this time if you do need surgery .

parsley when's your birthday? I'm a June birthday as well .
I'll be on honeymoon for my edd. Part of me thinks this is a great distraction, the other part is scared I'm going to be in a mess on our honeymoon and it's not fair on DH .

Mid June . Where are you off on your honeymoon?

We booked a weeks holiday in May yesterday, I always feel better with a trip to look forward to. Trying not to fixate on the fact it's where we were when I conceived however....

Hope the Berry HQ silence just means everyone's been off having fab Sundays! We had a ridiculous hail storm earlier, everything went white temporarily!!

Evening Berries. So sorry to hear about your situation RP. Hopefully you'll get some answers at your appointment and you'll have a clearer idea of what lies ahead
Thinking of you too Barking. Hope you are feeling a bit better about things today. I seem to be going downhill at the moment which is unlike me as I'm usually so positive. Can't help feeling a bit left behind and keep thinking that this will never happen for us. This isn't helped by the fact that I suspect I've haven't OVd this month. Just what we need!
On a brighter note we've had a lovely afternoon tasting food and wine at the wedding venue. All starting to feel a bit real now, my stomach was in knots as we were heading up the drive!

Exciting, happy!

Barking I think you just need to think that you are in a different place now, getting proper help through the clinic, so it is just a matter if waiting for that to come through. You have one honeymoon, in your whole life, so focus on that, and when you come back you will be getting on with the clinic stuff.

I am a bit scared about the kidney stuff. When it was just my right side, the surgeon would say cheerfully "Many people live with just one kidney". This has now changed to "I hope you've got many years ahead of you." I'm 34 ffs, I hope so too I am also slightly haunted by an MNer who had a similar kidney problem to me, went into renal failure, and had to have her baby way early and the child now has medical issues as a result. Argh.

What I am really scared of is, he will just say, oh we'll monitor you for another 4 months which he has been saying since early 2012. He is very evasive

Oh RP that's really bad news. I hope it gets sorted soon.