Fab Forty-Plus! Where are the BFPs...

[JBrd]

To keep this thread going, proving support to all of those of a 'riper vintage' wishing for a baby...

I have received so much help, advice and support here, so although I technically have graduated, I thought I'd get the next thread going to keep the momentum.

Morien, going to 42in Belgium is a heroic act in itself! all the best and hoping induction will not be needed!

All the best Morien - how exciting! Hello to all those I know and welcome to those I don't.

Jass, that made me laugh!

Hi all!

I got some test results. So the bloody doctor didn't test my progesterone. But my Thyroid levels are perfect. Now the bad news. AMH 0.2.
I knew whatever they are they will be low because at 42, well, what else would they be, as you said, JBrd. But I have no comparison as to the levels of other 42 year olds so I don't know to panic or not.
He did say that it isn't impossible to conceive naturally but that it would be very hard. (As if I don't know that by now!).

So what does this all mean, really?
xxx

Hi, thanks for the welcome. My af arrived the next morning. Always in the past I've known when I was pg, and I really didn't think I was, but I get so intensely bonkers when af doesn't just come. I think I might return to pg testing regularly as I know I can handle it now, whereas earlier on in ttc a bfn was really hard to take. As for having taken the sneaky time off I do feel better for it!

Hi, sorry for popping in, this is just a message for old mates of mine on here (most of whom now lurk rather than post!!!) anyway, just to let you know that our shock surprise pregnancy is no more, heartbeat has stopped and now waiting for the inevitable. Don't want to bring a downer on this thread, but just needed to let my friends here know.

Hope all of you here now get as much support as I did when I was here years ago, and that you get your pregnancies and babies soon. (including the lurkers!!!!)

Oh my God willitbe. OMG.
Big hug. Really very, very sorry to hear.
It's not a downer. Just a very sad reality we fear despite our endless hopes.
Thinking of you.
xxx

So sorry Willitbe please don't apologise for a downer, it's so important to share & talk things through with people. I hope you are getting all the support you need xx
Tadpole sorry I can't answer your question. I suppose 'it's not impossible' is small hope. Did you request that test or was it offered to you ? I'm not sure I want to know..... Did they offer anything further after telling you that?
How are things Morien? My fertility appointment is next Wednesday. Quite excited about it but have neglected to mention to dh how much it costs. I'm hoping it doesn't occur to him to ask until after it so then it's done & there's no point in discussing it. Ha ha such good logic.
I joined the local gym today (registered by very pregnant, very young woman - not jealous at all....) in the belief that being fit & toned will help me get pregnant! If not, I will feel better in my fancy frock at the 2 weddings I've got this year x

Willitbe, desperately sorry for you and really sad...having seen the heartbeat one would think you are more or less out of the woods - and then this to happen.... I only hope the inevitable is now quick and physically easy. Truly sad......

Tadpole, these numbers are not indicative of your fate. many docs even do not do it, because they are just not reliable. The progesterone though, what tou did not get tested, would be worth knowing, because first, it can make or break a pregnancy and second, lack of it is treatable. To glean any info from this number you would need to know how it was 5 years ago for you.

willitbe I am so sorry to hear your news, that's just too cruel .
Thinking about you xxx

willitbe I am so sorry for your loss. How sad for you.

I am so, so, so sorry Wilitbe. It is such heartbreaking newsgroup you I
hope you are doing ok in the circumstances and that you are being looked
after right now. It will be a tough time for you over the next few weeks
but it does get better, I promise. Will you be letting nature take it's
course or will you have intervention? Please come and share how you are
and how you feel,and let us support you if you wish without worrying about
bringing a downer of the thread.

Tadpole I had my AMH tested and it was 1.3 (I am 44) and despite this I
have managed to conceive twice in 8 months. Regrettably, I miscarried both
pregnancies but it didn't seem to inhibit conception. Whilst I was at my
initial appointment with Professor Regan, I asked her if the AMH score was
an indicator of ovarian reserve and/or egg quality and she said both but
then it only takes one good egg sperm combo for a successful pregnancy. I
think that there is so much that they don't understand about conception and
pregnancy for your doctor to be so definitive about it! I don't know if
it will work on my egg quality but my current TTC regime is: a conception
vitamin (currently trying 7 seas), vitamin b, d and extra folic acid, DHEA
and Co-enzyme Q10. I also take 1000mg Evening Primrose Oil up to ovulation
day. Which is ridiculous when I see it all written down! DH is on conception vitamins for men but moans about it like he is
really putting himself out by taking them, even though I buy them and dish
them out to him every morning so all he has to do is actually swallow

• jeez what a trooper! Good news your thyroid is in full working order. I

echo Jassyou should get your progesterone tested - do you know when you ovulate? Do you temp?

My cycle is right up the spout again after my last miscarriage. I had
hoped having a natural one would prevent the whole ovulation going AWOL
issue but that doesn't seem to be the case. The first cycle wasn't too bad
as I O'd on CD20 but I am now on CD46 and my temps are all over the place

• it hasn't helped that I did a trip to Mexico for a week (hot sun, warm

sea, plenty of sleep, sex , good food and cocktails - lovely) and then had a really heavy cold which saw my temp go up to 38 (eek!). I keep having random positive OPK's, -ve pregnancy tests so I think my body keeps having a go at ovulating but not quite making it. My current temps are in post ovulation range and I have very sticky out nipples which usually happens after ovulation (that and I am quite windy ) both of which I blame on progesterone. So hopefully I will be able to start a new cycle soon and the cycle will be normal(ish). I am back to Weight Watchers next week as I need to drop a stone and I have an appointment with an accupuncturist who specialises in fertility (he is a man which I feel a bit odd about ). I also have my follow up appointment with Professor Regan on Friday so we will get all the results of our tests and find out if there is anything we need to do.

I went to my NHS appointment a couple of weeks ago and they couldn't'
really help me with anything further (except to say that I should follow
any advice Proff Regan gives as she is the expert ) They did agree to
put me on a "list" in the EPU so if when I conceive again I can just
call up and get a scan at 6 weeks and regular care and support from then on
without too much drama and paying to go privately. So I am pleased about
that . The Dr (who was depressingly very, very young and perky) whilst
encouraging and reiterated that she saw many mums in their 40's have
babies, suggested we might want to consider using donor eggs. So DP and I
are currently thinking about that and although he initially said he
wouldn't consider it when we first started TTC, since the two miscarriages
I sense a softening in that area. Has anyone else had the discussion with
their OH's? Considered this? I recalled Isabelleron this thread had
donor eggs and was having twins - has anyone heard from her recently?

Grizzer good work on joining the gym. I read somewhere that one of the
reasons it is more difficult to conceive in your forties is that we dont'
have the sex lives of a twenty something (though god knows we try!) Being
all fit and toned can only help you feel better/look better and more likely
to behave like a twenty year old in all respects

Jbrd- good luck tomorrow, I have everything crossed for you, literally

Ps. Sorry for the ridiculously long post!

Green - thank you for your kind words, I am actually at peace with it all. Having been through it 12 times before, it was actually worse in the days before it was confirmed, as I knew my symptoms well enough to know that it was possibly ending. So having it confirmed was the easy bit.

I was on med's that I need to stop, it might happened naturally in the next few days, but if not I will be requesting an ERPC. I have tried all the three options previously and whilst I prefer to let things happen naturally, with how far I am (11 weeks measuring 9) I previously have bled heavily and ended in hospital. And since I have been taking heparin and aspirin, I am hoping it doesn't start too soon or it could get messy!) So it currently is a wait and see. Tonight I am going to have my first glass of wine for months and celebrate the little brief life that was!!!!!! (I know this might sound weird but with miscarriage number 13 it just seems right for me!)

As for ttc, we were not before this pregnancy, and logically will not be again, but I have to confess that the pregnancy hormones and loss are making me want to ttc again, so who knows whether we will or not. Gum, you can probably empathise with me in this!!!!!

eh,willitbe, i hear a habitual miscarrier. it is sad to say so, but this is exactly as i have felt after the few last ones - a kind of relief that what i knew will happen has happened and i have remained sane.......i only have about 10 though. or maybe 11. Lost count, tbh. enjoy that wine and if ttc only means no birth control, i think continuing ttc is no crime:-))

Hi all, I'm on cd 10 & went for acupuncture today. She put a couple of needles in my pelvic area to 'get the blood flowing to my uterus.' About 3 hours later when I went to the loo I had some spotting. Very small amount & definitely old blood but I've never had this before. Has anyone ever heard of that? Could it be the acupuncture clearing things out or is that just coincidence?
I guess I'm preparing for ovulation so could be that but it's a first for me so just curious. Hope it means acupuncture is working.
Green you made me smile with dh taking vitamin. I keep buying 'well man' for dh but might have to start wrestling him to the floor, holding his nose & forcing them down his throat for all his willingness to take them!!
JBrd hope you're ok. I'm saying a little prayer for you for tomorrow x

Willitbe...I am very sorry for your loss....xxx

Jbrd...thinking of you xxxx
Morien....hope you are well...xxx

So. It's here. My little Tadpole's EDD.
I didn't tell DP about the exact date, just February.
This morning he woke up and told me he dreamt we had a six-month old who was crawling wildly and he had to explain to him that he can't jump out of the window. That that would kill him.
I only told him later that today is the EDD. Poor kid, didn't jump out of a window but did leave the uterus 7.5 months to early. Same difference, I suppose.

green I have an GP appointment in 3 weeks and I'm going to ask her to test my progesterone.
My therapist says low levels could also be causing my lack of appetite, sleeplessness and general depressive moods.
(I thought, lady, I'm depressed because I miss my baby who would have surely been born already and I just found out that my egg reserve neglectable!).

AF arrived on Thursday and is ridiculously painful. Like she really wants to remind me that there is NO baby in there.

willitbe xxxx

JBrd Hope all's well. Could really use some good news today.

Morien How's bebe? I was thinking of your MIL and remembered what my Gran always said. There's no fool like an old fool.

I'm off to work on the house. Hoping we can move it in a few weeks and not have all this driving anymore.

Enjoy your day, ladies!
xxx

Tadpole, so sorry. maybe it means they are somewhere after all and hence can return to ourd reams (an ateist rationalist speakin' here, bthw). gorget the AMH - many have demonstrated it means nothing. You stressing about it on the other hand means anything. And being depressed in your situation is so natural that no amount of progesterone flowing around in your body (apart from the kind produced by corpus luteum supporting a new pg) would drag you out of it this week. Good the proge gets tested though.

JBrd, how are you doing?
Morien, climbing up and down the stairs (you do have a ridiculous central europeanh ouse with at least 5 flights of stairs and small room on every floor, I hope:-)) is supposed to help. or throw down a box of matches and pick them up one by one, squatting anew for every match?

I am 8DPO with sore breasts. But since progesterone supplementing it can easily be that. Will test on Monday as national day coming up and if neg I am going to drink all i have avoided drinking during 2ww. i do not know why i avoided this time, normally i do not bother anymore....

I can't believe I'm saying this - all went well! One baby in there, heartbeat, and measuring bang on. Relief doesn't even come close right now, I am so happy!
I know I'm not completely in the clear just yet (and there is a small bleed under the sac - but the sonographer did not seem too concerned with this), but it's a milestone I did not reach with any of my miscarriages, so I am celebrating

Checking in to see if jbrd had posted and what wonderful news You must be so relieved and happy . How many weeks are you now?
tadpole hope you're ok - due dates are very very hard. My mmc at 10 weeks was a feb due date and I bought a lovely necklace that had the feb birth stone on it. Thinking of you xxx

Wow Jbrd, I've seen your posts over the years, am thrilled for you!

I wanted to ask whether anyone here has experience of the Agora Clinic in Hove? I'm wondering about whether to seek out some help as time is ticking, but I find the internet data confusing about success rates.

Yea JBrd fab news. So happy for you xx
Tadpole hope you're ok. Interesting re dh's dream, I always think these things have significance - unfortunately I never know what that significance is!
Jass hope you get the result you want on Monday but enjoy that drink if not.
I'm coming up to ovulation in the next few days & dh has been out drinking last night & today (rugby!) bit peeved he might be reducing the quality of sperm! Humph.

jbrd, I am so pleased to hear that all is well! Hurray!

Tadpole, thinking of you. I know how heartbreaking the EDD can be.I do hope you will have a babe or pregnancy before the edd rolls around again next year. Light a candle for your little one. The dream your DP had is heart-wrenching. I often dream about my lost babies, and personally believe that they aren't gone forever. I like to think they will find their way to us eventually, perhaps through me, but maybe as a grandchild/niece/nephew.

I can't wait to hear if Morien's little one has decided to come.

AFM, I am so busy with work and life that I am not thinking too much about babies. I still have that feeling of sadness/envy when I see a pregnant woman or new baby, but I can't imagine being pregnant right now as I would find it very difficult. However, not ttc has given my sex-life the death noll. Poor DH is wondering what's wrong with me! I have lost the drive now that I am not trying to catch an egg. I guess there's not the same incentive, and I like that I am off the hook, so to speak.

I am definitely not in my 20's and feeling it. Just working and living is wearing me out!