Fab Forty-Plus! Where are the BFPs...

[JBrd]

To keep this thread going, proving support to all of those of a 'riper vintage' wishing for a baby...

I have received so much help, advice and support here, so although I technically have graduated, I thought I'd get the next thread going to keep the momentum.

and i love lattes too! but going mostly without is tolerable now!

Yesterday was cycle day 12 for me, so we had sex, just in case I ovulate early. Plan to do so for the next four or five days as well. My cycle is typically 26-28 days, so that ought to cover it.
I feel like we nailed it last night... but then I remember feeling like that when we were trying for my 2-year-old son, and it actually took three cycles. Each time, I was so sure we'd done it, and then it turned out it was all in my mind.
I certainly hope it happens quickly for us this time, it's heartbreaking each time AF arrives.

Thanks for explanation of HSG. Will have a chat to my obs/gynae (who delivered DS) when i get home.

Well DP and I haven't tried in earnest yet. I am on holiday with DS visiting family so trying to get a bit healthier.
I got pregnant with DS after a very relaxing holiday in thailand, lots of massages and swimming etc. I do think stress plays a big part too, but I have no idea what state my 43 yo eggs are in.

i am grateful to already have DS; a second DC would be a bonus and this as i am going to be 44 later this year, this really will be the last chance.

Am going to try some Ayurveda, as it worked for some (younger) cousins who had difficulty with ttc.

ps good luck basia!

Allo! Allo!
OMG. Couldn't get into MN most of the week. I thought I was going bonkers!

Welcome basia and squidgy Hope you find your stay sweet and short! (although I think I'll stay on because the advice is so bloody fantastic!)

Sorry Grizzer that AfunckingF got you. Big hug.

Morien how are you?!

Hi Jass Thank you for the HSG explanation! When I read the question I immediately thought our Jass will know!

Hi JBrd How is it going?

I'm 9dpo today. Had a weirdish-not-spotting-but-something-but-also just-when-I-wiped thing last night.
Its so bloody shitty that my PMS is so similar to pg.

Hello too to everyone not mentioned by name!

Happy Valentines Day!

basia, re nailing, if you get impatient about it, get opks-s. with 26 day cyclce some might even manage to ovulate day 11, if you think you are an early ovulator. 12 is more reasonable, true, but if you ovulate day 12 it would be better to have some sperm waiting for the egg rather than just sending it up there on the o day. I have seen that making sure i do the deed on the d ay when opk starts showing the line (not yet, but close to positive) is the best day to start, then I have two days of positives and do it again on the secondd ay of pos and 48 hours after that,even if I seemt o ovulate soon after last positive (as i can get a positive hpt 9days after the first neg test, i.e. presumably ovulate within. 24 hours of that). Sadly I have miscarried nowm ore than 10 really early pregnancies, so have had the unlucky chance to perfect the opk use:-)))

Jass you break my heart whenever I read about your lost babies. I was moving a candle today that I'd lit for my lost dd last year & I started welling up - you are amazing x
Hmmm Tadpole implantation? I know it's rare but.... It is ridiculously harsh that every pg symptom is the same as AF.
Basia I know what you mean. I think we've nailed it every time we dtd but it's always wishful thinking. I have read that some women 'know' straight away but sadly I'm not one of them.
I have an appointment at a fertility clinic weds week. Not sure how helpful it will be as, in all honesty, I don't think I have a fertility issue with 3 pregnancies behind me (only one successful though so maybe I'm wrong!) but I feel I just want to know my options.
This is really awful & I feel very guilty but after having dd things went badly wrong & the hospital messed up badly, nearly letting me die in the process! I put it down to 'one of those unlucky things' for a couple of years but I've had to pay out a lot on life insurance, travel insurance & compression stockings as a result so I decided to pursue a case. I feel terrible about it because I am grateful for the nhs & they do a lot of amazing things but I did it anyway. I am just coming to the end of the case & will receive a sum of money that I am putting towards these private fertility investigations. I feel if I get another baby after such a terrible time it will be worth it & going down the horrible road of suing someone will be justified if I spend the money on getting pregnant again. Random justification but it works for me. Oh & maybe a few days in Disney land Paris for the beautiful girl who spent the first 4 weeks of her life in a plastic hospital cot beside me!!

Dearest Grizzer, don't beat yourself up too bad. If it was wrong to purse compensation for a wrong we wouldn't have the options to do so.
I always tell myself not to confuse being thankful with being grateful. There are times to be grateful for what we have and leave it at that.
But there are times to be thankful and still pursue a higher goal.

As long as you know your heart is pure, there is no need to feel bad. You will always pay for the consequences and actions of a group of professionals who swore an Oath 'to first do no harm'.

I hope you enjoy the time with dd in Disneyland and I hope the fertility road ends with very joyful news.

xxx

grizzer, as tou were awarded that money, it clearly shows there were treatment errors. If you and others are brave enough to face this and seek compensation, making also the medical staff go through these issues thoroughly, it helps quality for all NHS users. I have to say that reading this forum has made me extremely grateful that I come from much smaller society where things are obviously less crowded and maybe because of that you very very seldom hear these really sad stories of medical errors. Of course, you are 30 million andm y people are 1, so that needs to be taken into account. but i am terrified of central European crowdedness and risk of getting low-quality treatment here, hence whenever something seems serious I am off to that poor, but very livable eastern european place I come from.......

As for my lost babies, they aremore lost dreams than babies. None got even fetal pole, hence they were failed embryos. No fetal pole, no fetus - i cannot say I lost a baby. i only lose preganancies. I know I would react terribly differently in case there had been a real fetus,chowever small, but something in that sac. US has never even showed a yolk sac. I have my gang of 4 as well, so I just refuse to be sad about it all. I fear if I complain something far worse will happen in m y life:-)))

Well, the work is all done, now the waiting begins.
My period is due around the 27th.
Anyone else due around that time want to wait with me?

Morning ladies, ok to hop on board? I'm 42 and just came off the pill on Friday, ttc #3. I'm settling in for the long haul, so brought my quilt and fluffy slippers

Hi linda and welcome!
I'm 42 as well. . Good luck with ttc!

basia good that you got some tith in. Good luck!

Yep Grizzer. It is hard. Think AF is on the way, though. I have no idea when to expect her because the last three months I had three different cycle lengths!
And so it continues!

Hi ladies!

Just quickly sticking my head around the door to say Hi, hope you are all hanging in there and sending strong BFP vibes.

I'm now 7+2 and in that grey zone again - this is the time where my mcs started. I've been having some spotting, which is really scaring me, this was also always how the mcs started... Literally taking one day at a time at the moment. My lovely midwife has arranged a reassurance scan for me on Saturday, so I will find out where things are at either way.

Thinking of you jbrd and sending lots of positive thought xxx
Hope everyone else is doing ok xx

Hello, may I join? I've read thread back you know each other so well I hope you don't mind. I should say I won't take up much space. I tend to go to MN when the freakout gets a bit uncontainable. Like now. I'm 41, three mc's, no lo's. I dream about babies or mcs most nights and have been struggling with depression having previously been quite a positive person. In the last few months I've started taking meds for anxiety and sleep as I was going bonkers. And I'm sure this is the reason why I'm late this month. Although I stopped taking the meds Thursday night as I was worried the effect they might have on any pg. I now haven't slept properly for three nights and have snuck in a "sick day" today from work - OH doesn't know, I felt too guilty to say!

I have managed not to buy a pg test for 6-8 months but am tempted to pop out and get one. But when I say "late" literally I am one day longer than any of my last 13 cycles, if I average them then I am 2.5 days late than my most usual cycle length. Would a test just be a waste of money? I don't have any symptoms, boobs got a bit sore over the last few days but I think that's waning.

Hey all, I hope I can join this thread too. I'm 40, lucky enough to have one DS who is 2. We've been trying to conceive number 2 for about a year, but only trying "seriously" for about the last few months... and finding it stressful, but mainly because there is a lot of stuff going on at my work that is making that unbearable and I would really like to escape to have a baby. Plus my best friend is preg. Sigh.

My period is due on the 27th too, so basia I will be waiting with you.

Jbrd and pancakeday - sending you lots of positive thoughts.

A question - I went to the doctor today (UTI), and the dr did a preg test, and said I am not preg... but my period isn't due for another 6 days. So could she really be sure? She was a very young (trainee) doctor... Am now really nervous about taking the antibiotics she gave me. :(

fiat Welcome! Thought I'd quickly reply to your question, as I was in exactly the same situation a couple of weeks ago.

I doubt very much that any pg test would pick up a BFP this early, even the really good (expensive) ones can't manage that. And from my experience, they use really cheap ones at the GP.
Your GP should really have given you an antibiotic that is safe to take when pg, just to be on the safe side - there are a few. I'm trying to remember what I was given, I think it was called nitrofurantoin (I think) for an UTI when I wasn't sure if I was or wasn't pg and it was too early to test.
When in doubt, I would really get back in touch with your GP and ask for a safe ab.
Good luck (for what it's worth - I was pg when this happened, so who know...)

Hi and welcome pancake and Fiatflux

pancake I'm so sorry for your losses. Don't feel too bad about a day of some tlc for you. I was just on the mc thread and was writing about my mc last year. A good cry.

fiatflux I've been waiting to escape for almost a year too! Hope the wait is short. Last year when I wasn't sure I also requested an Antibiotic which is pregnancy safe. (also a UTI).

Today I was thinking of how at times I was delighted when AF arrived! Can you imagine. Now I feel like putting a clamp on the uterus.

My EDD is coming Saturday. And the week is already so long.

Today the pg lady at work came into the kitchen while I was warming my lunch. Didn't much feel like eating after that. I was a few weeks ahead of her. Her belly! I feel so robbed.

JBrd Good luck, my dear. I can only imagine the panty watching. Big hug and will be thinking of you.
xxx

Oh Tad, sorry you are facing the EDD without a new pregnancy!

JBrd, i know unfortunately exactly how you are feeling and hence i am not capable of confidently saying all will be OK. but i seriously hope you will see a nice strongheartbeat on saturday.Will be watching this space then! if not, please go and check out the immune issues w doc Quenby. But I so hope it will not at all be necessary!

Welcome flat, pancake, Flat, check your AB via google, if it is penicilline-line AB, you can take them when pg. and of course a test 6day before AF is not at all informative. pancake, do that test for peace of mind unless you want to keep on hoping for some days longer. I know i would but I can not - every bfp means medication, so every chemical is registered here.

Thank you so much for your responses - I googled my antibiotic and it's nitrofurantoin and okay for early pregnancy. And I feel a bit less down about the dr saying I'm not pg - what would she know?! Will just have to wait and see.

Really nice to have your support :)

Hello all, how is everyone doing?
JBrd thinking of you. I hope Saturday brings good news but I'm sure it feels like a lifetime away.
Pancake I would be very tempted to test but try to hold out for a couple more days. Do you feel AF at all? Fingers crossed for you. TTC makes all of us insane at times so don't beat yourself up over these feelings. Try not to let them take over your life though. I must admit, getting pregnant is on my mind 24/7. I'm always working out how pregnant I'll be for that summer wedding or where I'll be at Christmas if I'm about to give birth etc. ridiculous but so hard not to think about it.
Hope you're ok Tadpole. Any sign of AF yet?
We're at sister-in-laws in NI at the moment. Their house is freezing so haven't managed to remove my many layers to dtd this week! CD7 though so not panicking yet. Another month to wish goes by quickly.....

Just popping to see if there's any news from morien, it's all very exciting. I haven't forgotten you lovely, supportive ladies, I just haven't had much chance to MN lately, but want to stay on the cheerleading team!

I hope this one sticks JBrd. Irish, can't believe you're so far along. I managed to hold out til almost 41 weeks for my induction, but I think if I'd seen the consultant rather than a doctor at 38 weeks he might not have let me do that. Calibee, great you've got an exciting new job, do tell us about it.

All ok here, DD2 is nearly 6 months old (already) and lovely, DH still struggling, but trying and DD1 still loving her baby sister!

Hello to diege, gum, jass, notsoold, green, and may everyone trying for their sticky BFP get one soon.

Welcome to the new people - hope you get as much support from this thread as I have. And that you don't stay for too long

Tadpole thinking of you - an EDD without another pregnancy is really hard. I remember feeling utterly desolate this time last year, and it was only the lovely people on this thread that really understood that. My EDD (from my MC) was yesterday, actually; I did think that there'd be a certain kind of symmetry if LO were to be born that day, but it wasn't to be.

Fiatlux at this stage I don't think the GP can know any more than you do, so I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

grizzer is it today you're going to the fertility clinic? Let us know how you get on. I went to see a fertility specialist this time last year, and I found that it did me a lot of good psychologically to talk to someone pro-active and positive who was willing to help me. DH and I were both tested extensively and there was nothing 'wrong', but the specialist was still willing to help me in view of my age (40 at the time). In the end I got my BFP naturally on the cycle before I was due to start IUI - and I do wonder how much that psychological boost helped.

Hello sparkly! How are you, DD and LO? No news from me yet...but I'm being induced on Monday if nothing happens before. I'll be 42+1 then - my gynaecologist said she could see no reason why I shouldn't wait, as long as I saw a midwife for monitoring every couple of days from 40 weeks. She also told me that I was 'very brave' to opt to do that, not because she thinks it's medically unsound, but because so many people around me were going to tell me it was dangerous...and she was right (particularly in a country like this, where I get the impression that everyone requests induction even before they hit 40 weeks - and most gynaes impose it as a matter of course). I'm avoiding MIL and SIL completely as I really don't need to be told yet again that I'm stupid (MIL told me recently that I shouldn't have any views about childbirth as this is DC1 so I have no idea what I'm talking about. I let it go - I have the happy hormones to thank for that - but I keep sniggering to myself about what she would think if only she knew, because in actual fact I haven't said much at all about what I want. She'd be apoplectic if she knew about the hypnobirthing, the doula who's going to be at the birth, the ante-natal classes (they don't do those in Belgium so I had to drag DH to expat-run ones), the pregnancy yoga...)

Hello Morien! Very happy to hear all's well and that you're waiting! Positively psyched! Never you mind MIL. Seriously. We seem to be in a time where few really natural births happen. Mind, I have nothing against painkillers but if your doctors are happy letting you wait than no one has the right to intervene!
Good luck! And please keep us updated.

Hi sparky! So happy you're enjoying your babymoon. You lucky thing!

Hey pancake How's it going today? Feeling better?

Grizzer Sorry you're freezing! That is the one thing I can't take. Being cold. But I suppose most people don't like it.

As far as AF is concerned, still nothing. I'm on cd30 today. God do I miss my regular 28 days cycle! The mc changed all that. And, every month there is a new symptom. Last month the nausea got so bad that I tested. Now this time (warning - tmi) so much discharge.
I've been walking around with a tampon in my bra (yesterday) and thankfully in my pocket today. Not going to over-think this. Just another tease.

But I am going to have at least two glasses of wine should AF show up on Friday.

Sparkly....welcome to the cheerleading team!!!
morien ...almost here!!! Excellent!

jbrd sending hugs and offering my hand to you as you also looked after me when I was panicking in my last pg.

Xxx to all and keep dtd!! :)