If TTC # 2 has turned you into a nut job this thread is for you! (Part 4)

[sebsmummy1]

Hey!! We have had lots of graduates from Part 3, so let's get on the TTC bus part 4 and make this place a ghost town.

Destination Pregnancy, choooo choooooo

[keeponjuggling]

Sorry hit wrong button. Meant to say IC opk's and keep hoping.

My heart goes out to you all, esp Cake x

[Cakebaker35]

Thank you all so much for your kind words, it is so hard to actually tell people as I hate to make others sad too. You're all very sweet and I really do feel like I know some of you even though of course we don't really.
It's been a rough few days, I think on the physical side I'm quite lucky as I'm not in any major pain and the bleeding is just steady, but I also know this means that things aren't really coming away yet, I was told to expect alot more than this. I go back on Monday for a follow up scan and that should tell me how much more is still to come and I guess they will discuss having a d&c with me then. I don't quite know yet whether to opt for it or not, but in some ways I do just want this to be over, the idea of bleeding for weeks is making it all harder to come to terms with. If any of you have experience of either letting nature take its course or choosing the d&c route I'd be grateful if you wouldn't mind sharing your thoughts.
I'm now glad to have told a few people in rl about the pregnancy as it means I now have some great support from friends and family. It is also pretty shocking to find out just how many people have experienced this too. I will stay on this thread if you don't mind as although actively ttc is out of the question for a while, I do want to keep in touch with you all and celebrate your bfps which I know will come.

Lots of love to all and thanks again for your support x

[sebsmummy1]

Cake you might want to come and post on the TTC after mc thread as you may get more answers re D&C over natural.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2008916-WARNING-This-thread-is-only-for-the-Posifrickentive-Grab-your-trout-gun-help-yourself-to-a-steamy-helping-of-Toad-In-The-Hole-and-head-on-in-All-new-TTC-after-MC-chin-up-tits-out-ladies?

I have only experienced a natural spontaneous mc, I know my sister had a mmc, found out just before her 12 week scan and she miscarried quickly the night before.

I think having been through a mc I would say expect lots of ups and downs emotionally, particularly after the more dramatic symptoms of the mc dissipate as you are then left in WTF cycle which feels like limbo land until you get your first period. I am just about feeling ok again as I am back into my second cycle and have just walked into the 2ww, so I am looking forward again. But there was a while there where I was just flailing about in the dark and it was pretty grim.

Having a miscarriage does not impact any future pregnancies, it makes you no more likely to have another one. Unfortunately these things are extremely common but obviously totally devastating for us. Loads of hugs for you xxxx

[sebsmummy1]

//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2008916-WARNING-This-thread-is-only-for-the-Posifrickentive-Grab-your-trout-gun-help-yourself-to-a-steamy-helping-of-Toad-In-The-Hole-and-head-on-in-All-new-TTC-after-MC-chin-up-tits-out-ladies?

[Cakebaker35]

Sebs thank you so much, that is really helpful. It's so sad to know so many people go through this but also a great support to be able to talk to others about it too. Wishing you all the very best and I expect I'll see you on that thread soon x

[fedupofrainydays]

Hi cake. Well I have mc both ways. And personally preferred the natural one. But important to remember one was at 12 weeks with a huge sac (baby died ages before and had re absorbed) and I was only bleeding black stringy blood. The natural one was much earlier - bout 5.5 weeks and was like a painful period that went on a bit longer than normal.
There are so many pros and cons of both:
Erpc pros:
Means it's over with - I wanted to get move on and didn't want to potentially wait for sac to continue growing
Unlikely for any retained products
Can sometimes do tests on what they remove to find out cause of mc
Bleeding after op often v light

Cons
Requires general anaesthetic
Risks with injury to Bowel and bladder (funnily enough these were the risks they talked through with me but I didn't care about those as they would mend them, I was worried it would damage my fertility / give ashermans - which they had no risks / stats info to reassure me
It's medical not natural

Natural pros
Natural - body's way of dealing with it
No worries about surgery damage

Cons
Can take a while to complete
May not complete and need erpc after all
Pain - but can take painkillers. Co codamol is good.

There are prob others but that's my quick traffic jam summery!

I think there is no evidence as to which you recover from quickest physically as it all depends on how pregnant you were and your own body. I conceived second cycle after natural mc but 10 months after erpc BUT they were very different pregnancies.

If it was me again - if the bleeding hadn't got going after a week I think I would erpc. I went through the mill last time trying to decide what to do but doctors tell me erpc was the right thing as sac was huge. I felt emotionally exhausted trying to make the practical decision of what to do, it dominated my mc process and I didn't really grieve until afterwards.

Just so sorry you are going through this, I wish it hadn't happened for you lovely. But do ask me anything you want if I can help in anyway xx

[fedupofrainydays]

Ps. Am a grad of the ttc after mc thread and they are a great bunch of lovely ladies when you are ready. Still petrified I will be back there too but my mentalness and paranoia is a whole other story!

I'm currently on preg after mc thread and pleased to say there have been loads of thread babies so there is hope after mc.
S

[fedupofrainydays]

I also should have said in both mc I bled for about a week to 10 days.
Periods were weird for a few months after erpc and norm after natural mc.
But I have also heard of people who have bleed both short and long times after both mc means and similarly both normal and unusual periods. I just think it depends on individuals own bodies and the nature of the pregnancy they lost.

[Cakebaker35]

Thank you so much fedup, I really appreciate you sharing your experiences. I will see what's what on Monday and make some decisions then but your info has definitely helped. I hope you're doing ok, I will keep popping in to this thread to see how you and the other ladies are.

Big un-mn hugs to you all x

[mystorey]

Gah! Of the many topic's I could have posted on, this seems the MOST apt. I am becoming a total nut job!!

Why why why was it so easy with DS....4 years 8 months later and he's still an only child :/

[GingerbreadBabyPlease]

cake just wanted to say I am thinking of you. I hope you are holding up as well as can be expected, and looking after yourself, and getting lots of lovely cuddles from your DC. XX

keeponjuggling I am so sorry, I never replied to you! You are more than welcome to join this thread, but it does seem to have slowed down a bit recently. How old is your DC? I think ICs are a good way to go if they work for you, I was never very good at holding in my wee for the ICs so I bought some of the clearblue smiley sticks a couple of months ago, which you can use FMU for, and they have given me a few smiley faces which is reassuring. I'm not sure I'd want to splash out on the monitor, but ask me again in a few months time!! Are your cycles quite irregular then would you say?

[GingerbreadBabyPlease]

Ooh cross posts mystorey! Sorry to hear you are becoming nutty! Have you been trying for that long or is that DS' age? I know, it is so frustrating when you already have a child, it makes no sense that it shouldn't work again in a reasonable time frame!

[mystorey]

Been trying for two and a half years...it's only typing it, that I realise I've been hiding my head in the sand. Had 2 mc's last year. Not good...BUT there is always next month...

[zippygeorgebungle]

cake, I can't quite believe it. we seem to have such bad luck on this thread. I am so so sorry to hear it. x.