If TTC # 2 has turned you into a nut job this thread is for you! (Part 4)

[sebsmummy1]

Hey!! We have had lots of graduates from Part 3, so let's get on the TTC bus part 4 and make this place a ghost town.

Destination Pregnancy, choooo choooooo

Oh sebs of course.... Happy birthday. But Sorry it's not such a happy one for you today. You have been so positive about the mc and it's prob all built up for now. Take care of yourself, and go easy on yoursel, and have lots of birthday hugs with DP and your lovely seb. I'm sending you a birthday present of retained fertility and a soon bfp! Xxxxxx

im new here so this probably very good and fits me. thanks ladies.

hello dejladonsa

sebs, happy birthday. and listen, sebs, you don't suddenly drop fertility with a new number, your eggs don't suddenly change..you were sufficiently fertile a few weeks ago to get pregnant, my friend, so on that basis we know you are ok to do it in a few more weeks too..also, try postponing your sadness until post birthday? maybe say, ok today is for cake, tomorrow is for going back to worrying? get sebs to blow out some candles for you and treat yourself a little today maybe? x

fedup, you sound genuinely lovely as a friend.

ginger, any better?

got a high fertility on day 12 which is good for me. I use a sample bottle now for the fertility monitor and it seems a lot more accurate, fewer highs but this is earlier than before so fingers crossed for a longer luteal phase this month...

Well the day got significantly better having opened my presents and had some hot lovin Just waiting for Bubsy to wake up so we can give him lunch and get going.

Now i did an hpt test and it was the faintest faintest squinter. So i suspect in the next few days it will read negative. Any ideas how soon after my body may try to ovulate. Im having no signs yet although i do feel like there is more creamy discharge now which makes me wonder if my oestrogen is rising. What i would give to see some EWCM!!

Zippy that is fabulous!! Day 12 is much earlier for you isnt it? Fantastic news, you are totally on the way to a BFP now xx

Hi dejladonsa

Happy birthday sebs! glad to hear your day has improved, hot lovin in the morning sounds like an excellent birthday present

Very sorry to hear you're feeling low ginger and zippy it's just so bloody hard to put TTC out of your mind some days isn't it. my only suggestions are keeping busy busy busy and obviously, but I'm sure you're doing that already.

As for comments about age/leaving it too late - I had dd1 at 35 and will be 38 this time around, assuming all goes well. It happened instantly first time around so your age really is not the only factor, try not to stress about it. For me my mid thirties were the 'right' time to try, for so many different reasons, and I said before dd1 that even if it never happened for me I would still have preferred that than having had children in my twenties. Everyone is different but that was right for me. Also have a cousin who had her first dc at 41 and a friend who's just had her 2nd at 43, both healthy pregnancies and babies. It will happen for you ladies, it's just bloody crap trying to keep sane while trying.

All ok here, utterly symptomless so every so often I have a panic (still a nut job you see) but just have to remember everyone is different and I'm just on countdown to that first scan. I'm 7 wks on Saturday. Saw my GP this week who is great and we had a laugh about how my notes will have red stickers galore thanks to emcs and high bp last time, surgery for skin cancer last year and my ripe old age I'll be referred to a consultant about 20 wks apparently when I'll have to face to slightly terrifying prospect of discussions about elcs or vbac - but for now I'd just be happy to get to 20 wks.

I'll keep lurking but won't post too much, determined to see you all through your BFPs x

hello dejladonsa.

Arr I wrote a huge post last night,then MN crashed on me and I couldn't post it!
Sebs Happy Birthday! (for yesterday) A birthday on valentines, how lovely! Or do you hate it with all the flowers and hearts around and overpriced restaurants!? I can understand you feeling emotional, but glad you had a nice day in the end. Pleased the lines are disappearing too, will you use opks do you think, or just go off of ewcm?
Oh and in terms of the age, don't be silly or beat yourself up about it, the time is right when the time is right for everyone, I had DD at 25 and I'm now 27 and after 8 months.....nothing, so I don't think age makes a blind bit of difference! In fact everyone I've spoken to on this thread who has got pg before me is older!
Cake glad everything is ticking away quietly for you, will you book an early scan or just wait for the 12 week one?
fedup glad you managed to refrain from POAS, step away from the sticks lady! How lovely but also heartbreaking with your new baby neighbour. I so so hope this one is a sticky one for you. Holding out impatiently for your scan with you.
zippy my rational mind says it is never going to happen for me. It has been 8 months, I haven't just come of the pill, or stopped bf, and I have age on my side, and we can clearly have children, so there must be something wrong for it to take this long. Strange conversation with your gp, guess he was just curious! Brilliant news on the high for you, hope your lp keeps getting longer! Is that just from stopping bf do you think?

Thanks for all your words and thoughts ladies, it is nice to get some sympathy! DH is sick of me talking about it - he gets this glazed look in his eye whenever I mention babies or the future, I think I am going to try to shut up about it in front of him!
I am just sick of feeling sad all the time, and I feel bad for missing out on this time with DD while I'm planning and pining for another, it makes me so sad to look at her and think she could be an only child. I have tried distracting myself, but I just can't shake the thought of never having another baby, I can't seem to move on from what my life was supposed to be by now - expecting another baby in a month. I know it's silly to dwell, and life doesn't go according to plan, but I just feel a bit lost and 'now what' if I don't have the chance to become a mum again anytime soon. I'm not sure I want to study or retrain yet as if DD is my only child I want to enjoy these days while she's young.

Hey ginger - I'm not saying you need to do something dramatic like retrain or study but mini projects to keep your mind off ttc / give other sense of achievement may help (as well as bing mummy already of course!) like redecorating a room, clearing out a wardrobe, booking a nice holiday, cooking new cakes or whatever. It might not be that you were like me but I spent most of 2013 and second year of my sons life basically being miserable and obsessed with ttc. It was only in oct / nov time when I said f this, I want to be happy again, went to Barcelona and started studying that I felt better again. I also spent more time with ds. Not just physically there but more emotionally there as I had started to feel that i wasn't making the most of my time with him and he was getting older so quickly and I couldn't cope with being miserable for any more of it as he is so precious and potentially the only child I would have so why throw away that time pining for another. That was just how my mind worked through it and not saying you feel the same but there is some logic in there that worked for me. I just didn't want to my life to be focused and dictated by something that might not happen. Ttc had started to define me, And I didn't want that to be the case.
The desire for another would never go away, nor the sadness when I saw other siblings together... It was only yesterday that I went to see the new baby and the front door was flung open by their eldest dragging me and ds to come and see her little sister. She was so excited and so loving towards her it broke my heart that I've not yet done that for my son. I have a chance now in October but not holding my breath.

But the I look at my sister and her children beat their siblings up!!! Just to put another perspective on it!! A jealously thing. It used to be bad with the eldest but now she's really sweet to the other two. It's the middle one who is jealous of the younger one now...

And a doctor would (annoyingly) say that 8 months is very normal ttc... And you def have age on your side. Not that any of that helps I know. You are only young so you have plenty of time to ensure you do have another... By whatever means.

Me too cake if I get to 20 wks after the tearing of the last birth! But 20 weeks sounds miles away. Not registered with my doctor yet but will do if scan goes ok on Tuesday.
My symptoms come and go and I've got constant bloating that means I don't fit my jeans but I also had symptoms that took me to 12 weeks and a mmc so I don't believe them as a sign all is good.

Ps sebs forgot to say that after my first mc and neg hpt I think I ovulated pretty much straight away or within a few days off (not via opk just body symptoms)

Second mc I had a neg hpt much more quickly and ovulated about a week afterwards which was about two weeks after heaviest day of bleeding. (It was like day 14 if I took that heaviest day of bleeding as cd1)

Hope that helps!

Oh fedup thank you so much. Everything you have said is just exactly me! Sounds like you went through the same things last year as I'm going through now, so if nothing else your experience has allowed you to provide some supportive and useful words to me! What you say about ttc defining you is exactly how I'm feeling at the moment, I find it difficult to concentrate on anything, I hold no interest in conversations unless they are about babies/pregnancy/conception lengths and means, and everyone I speak to I just want to shout 'I want a baby, why can't I make a baby, don't you know I don't care about anything else!!' I don't even want to think to the future as it just scares and depresses me as to what troubles and more disappointment lie in wait.
But you are right, life is just too short and our DCs too precious to dwell. It just seems so unfair and it hurts so much doesn't it? How long were you trying for number 2 for before you fell pg?
I think I will give it one more month of using the smiley opks, then I think I will 'give up' for a little bit, as the few months after that will result in a december/january baby. I think we will just dtd twice a week, and make it more about fun than anything, and hopefully by trying to relax about the whole thing it will make it happen!
I like your suggestions for setting mini achievements. I am fed up of being miserable all the time, but I suppose only I have the control to change this.
I think it's really strong of you to go and visit the new baby, I suppose that is all part of the moving on process though too isn't it? Does your neighbour know what you have been through the past year?

How is everyone else doing tonight?

When I read your previous post ginger I was thinking how much you sounded like me in 2013 so I'm happy to have been of some use!
I actually got pregnant straight away when trying for #2. But that was the one I had a mmc at 12 weeks. It then took 10 months to conceive again which I also lost just before Christmas.
And many times I was screaming inwardly 'I want a baby, why isn't it me tooooo' as I heard again and again of other peoples second pregnancies. People forget and just prattle on about their children and how hard it is with two when I would have given my right arm to be in their shoes.
Yeah. The neighbour does know about the mc and ttc struggles. She doesn't know am pregnant now though. On the whole she's understanding and a good friend about it so it's all good.

Having a month off will be good for you. Just good for the soul and the relationship to take the foot off the pedal a bit and shift focus to something else. My experience is that's when I get pregnant. Not saying you will but you might!!! We still had sex a few times in fertile window / when I saw ewcm. But way more successful that when I was using and trying everything and shagging non stop!

How is everyone doing? I think the rain is going to let up today so I'm excited to go outside!!!

Just checking in to say I had a scan today and all in the right place... Plus a little flickering heart beat. I'm not out of the woods yet by any means but it's going in the right direction.

How are you all ladies?

Oh fedup hurray!! So pleased for you! Sorry I didn't wish you luck or reply to you earlier on, I must have completely missed that scan news!

I am 9dpo today, but cd26, not too sure when to expect AF or when I will be classed as 'late' though. I think I might POAS in the morning, so I know whether or not to cancel my Dr appt on thursday! I have been trying my hardest to not symptom spot, but every twinge and cramp I keep thinking means something! I have been getting quite a bit of cramping though so I am expecting AF to make an appearance soon.

I've been doing quite alot of thinking the past few days after what you said, I do need to sort myself out really! I have taken a few fertility books out from the library and they all talk about fertility 'mindfulness' which is really something I need to concentrate on. I think I need to just calm down about the whole thing, and focus on getting myself as physically and mentally healthy as possible and take it from there really. It's all a challenging journey isn't it, but one we will all come out of better off I hope. DD has been so cute and funny recently, I just love the age she is at!

Nice that your neighbour is a friend too, none of our neighbours seem to be interested in getting to know one another!

I really hope all goes well for you this time fedup, you absolutely deserve it. 10 months ttc after a mc must have just been hell for you .

Where is everyone else at in their cycles? How are you all doing? We've been a bit quiet this week!

Hi ladies,
Just jumping on to let you know AF got me this morning Lost my chance now for an age gap of less than 3 years. Off to the doctors I go tomorrow....
Hope everyone is ok X

Oh ginger I'm really sorry to hear that, good luck with the doctor tomorrow and do keep us posted.

fedup that's excellent news, you must feel so glad to know its's all going in the right direction, wishing you lots and lots of luck x

All just ticking along here very quietly, got my appt through for my 12 wk scan which will be later on in March and now I'm just stressing that it will be all bad news as I'm basically symptom-less apart from mega tiredness. So it just goes to show it wasn't just TTC that made me a nut job, I'm just one anyway it seems although physically my body copes ok with pregnancy my brain does not and makes me even more loopy.

Lurking away, keeping it all crossed to see those BFPs flooding in very soon xx

Hi ladies. Squish up n let me on please.

I'm trying to conceive number 2. My first is nearly 18 I'm being driven nutty!

Went to Gp yesterday as month 3 failed for me. Gave doc all my dates ad he didn't view me as an app using fruitcake.

I am getting a cervix check next month as I'm worried it's been damaged by laser treatment and yesterday we picked up conception support pills from boots.

Oh boy what a pain this is!

Hey ginger thank you. And so sorry about af. Are you sure as that's only 10 dpo? Good idea to get down to the doctors and get the ball rolling. I also promised myself I would throw any milestones out the window - like age gaps or being pregnant by my would be due dates as these were just horrific when they passed and made me feel such a failure. There is no perfect age gap either I have learnt so try not to stress about that.

My DS is at a funny age too - he cheers me up no end. He's 2 and 4 months and love his cheeky sense of humour. He's a right little character and know he is going to do a lot of winding mummy up when he's older!!

Hi drews hope you are ok. Plenty of room here.

Glad all going ok cake.

How are you punky and zippy? And sebs if you are lurking here too xx

Hey folks, sorry I have been so quiet, been a hectic week and also incredibly scared about the scan. Turned out fine though, baby made it to the right place this time, and saw heartbeat. I was sobbing through the whole thing. Now just trying to get my head around it. Been so scared of another ectopic it's hard to suddenly relax!

Ginger, how did it go at the docs?

Hi Drews, I hope you find as much support on this thread as I have.xxx

Hi ladies, Mumsnet has been a bit quiet recently hasn't it.
How are you all doing? Sebs are you still lurking? Hope you are ok.

Fedup my DD is 2 years and 3 months so very close! it was definately AF, I did hope it was IB actually, as the first day was quite light, but it soon turned into full on AF. Total crazy head - I even POA pregnancy stick on day two to see if it was a positive and I had miscarried, as I was two days late compared to last cycle and it seemed especially heavy this month. It was negative obviously!!
AF is all done now so time to get back to it. Just bought some more cheap opks to go alongside my clearblue smiley ones, they're too expensive to use every day!

Cake only another month or so to go, fingers crossed for you until then. Sounds like it's all ticking along smoothly for you though so far

Punky that is fantastic news! How long until your 12 week scan then? Hope you are feeling ok, but also tired and sick!!

I went to see the Dr on thursday then, she was lovely and said she could see no reason to be concerned as we already have one DD so everything works as it should, we are both young and don't smoke etc. But now that I've had a few days to think about it I'm actually a bit annoyed that she was quite dismissive, she did refer me for day21 tests, but didn't have much to say about my concerns over my short cycles, or recent irregular cycles, and she doesn't think a short LP would be an issue. I was a bit of an emotional wreck as soon as I got in there though, so perhaps she is thinking stress is my biggest factor in preventing me from getting pg, she did tell me to try and stop worrying and to stop trying so much, and just 'enjoy ourselves'! So I guess it's just more sex for us, healthy eating and minimal caffeine and alcohol. Sigh.

Zippy where are you in your cycle this month?

ginger did you see the same doctor as me?! I wanted to punch her when she said the dreaded 'just relax'. It's so difficult but you know my story... When I did relax I got preg. Not totally relax as that would never happen but a lot less anxious and stressed about it. Remember - mini projects. No matter how small or seemingly insignificant, it will help take your mind of constant ttc thoughts. Ttc took over my brain and was exhausting.

Yay punky so pleased for you!! I cried in my scan too, just so much relief there was something in right place.

I've spent the evening googling miscarriage stats as still so worried. I've got to step away from google...

Thanks Ginger and FedUp

I was starting to have all day nausea, but have now got a.. well not sure if it is a chest infection, or just normal bad cough/cold. Have been coughing so much, and spent all day yesterday in bed :-( Nausea has generally disappeared which concerns me a bit.. though I am feeling so rough maybe it is just hiding under all the other levels of illness. Also I have a backache as I have been spending so much time in bed, and my stomach really hurts from all the coughing.. so even though logically I know thats the reason I am still terrified of MC... and FedUp I also googled MC stats the other day... time just seems to be going at a snails pace.

Anyway, have had to call in sick at work today which I don't think will have gone down well, manically busy time in the office at the moment. Am just hoping the nausea doesn't kick up as well as I really can't take any more time off work!

No idea about the scan ginger.. in my area the midwives don't get in touch until 8-10 weeks (with the ectopic they were calling me when I would have been 10 weeks, which was lovely - NOT.. Can't understand why there isn't some sort of system to notify them, especially as they are in the same building as the GPs!) Anyway, I'm assuming once they call they then sort out the scan.. I can't remember how it worked with DS.. that was 3 whole years (and another lifetime) ago!

Hope you are all ok, happy Monday!xxx

Also meant to say, congrats too FedUp on the scan.. fingers crossed for both of us (Cake too) that we get through this in one piece.. surely we deserve this after everything we have been through!xxx

Hello ladies, still lurking and great to hear everyone's news, so pleased about the scan punky yippee! Sorry to hear you're poorly though, get well soon.

ginger I know exactly what you mean about the 'try to relax' comment, so bloody irritating, but sadly correct! Completely agree with fedup about mini projects - I'd started looking at holidays, planning this year's veggie patch etc etc just to make sure I was thinking about something else which made all the difference for me.

I've got my 12 wk scan date through (26th March) and that sent me into all sorts of nuttiness, I genuinely think I'm worrying so much more this time around and it's irritating me! I don't think doctor google helps at all, I am now certain I'm having an mmc or blighted ovum or something else to mean the scan will be all dooooom. Stupid stupid brain I want to switch it off! I considered paying for an early scan but realised even if I do that and all is fine I'll still convince myself something will go terribly wrong after that! I think my body copes ok with being pregnant but shame my mind does not! So I've vowed not to google anymore and also only visit this thread on mn as some others, especially the antenatal boards, are full of people stressing even more than me!

Wishing everyone lots of luck and i will keep lurking as I think this thread is due it's next bfp

hello! punky is right, fedup, she and cake really do all deserve to have no further problems! good luck to you all.

ginger, hope you are ok. In some ways my GP was great ordering bloods straight away, getting me a scan the next week etc etc but in hindsight it was only 6 months in and was still breastfeeding, I think it sort of made me think there was a problem when in reality there perhaps wasn't/isn't, but I am grateful nonetheless. The consultant really set my mind at rest about the bfing hormones suppressing my chances of conceiving. Your day 21 tests should reassure you?

I'm between OVing and AF. AF due Sunday-Tuesday and I OV'd in the middle of last week so slightly longer luteal phase hopefully but not getting my hopes up this month. Well trying not to.good luck everyone.

Good luck zippy. I hope this is your month. Almost at the end of the 2 ww. X