If TTC # 2 has turned you into a nut job this thread is for you! (Part 4)

[sebsmummy1]

Hey!! We have had lots of graduates from Part 3, so let's get on the TTC bus part 4 and make this place a ghost town.

Destination Pregnancy, choooo choooooo

[zippygeorgebungle]

thanks fedup. It's not looking great. A tiny tiny bit of brownish bleeding this afternoon. hasn't recurred and could be implantation, but knowing my luck over the past 11 cycles....

how are you? Wonder how sebs is doing, missing you if you're lurking x

[fedupofrainydays]

Oh no. But I have everything crossed its implantation as still a little early, right?

I'm ok thanks. Last couple of days have felt extremely tired and sick. Although it's hard I'm not complaining as to me these are good signs. I had MS with my first mc but not as bad as this so hoping this is a sign. Second scan on Tuesday so getting nervous for that.

In case sebs doesn't see this I think she is doing ok - she's on my the ttc after mc thread after my recommendation I was on there too. I still check there too as like this thread, I have high hopes for some more bfps from the lovely ladies I've met.

One of my best friends text me yesterday to say she is so down about ttc. It breaks my heart that people have to go through such long journeys to have their babies. 2013 was the hardest year of my life. I so get how horrible ttc is and heartbreaking, draining and has this ability to suck all the life and happiness out of people. Wish it was more fair.

Got everything crossed for zippy and ginger and sebs if you are lurking. Bfps I hope very soon. Lots of love xxxxx

[zippygeorgebungle]

I'm thrilled for you fedup. Oddly one of the benefits of this thread is that you get to experience the highs of other bfps and I really do love hearing the success stories.

Yes, AF is early if not implantation. It used to come on day 27 but since sept/oct it has been longer. This would be day 26, which would be a good few days earlier than in recent months but only a bit more than a week since OV so short luteal :(

I don't suppose it will be but I did have implantation bleeding with my other pregnancy. I'm probably kidding myself, I don't want to have to cope with the crushing blow that is AF yet again :(

how many weeks are you fedup? x

[GingerbreadBabyPlease]

Hi ladies,
Is brownish bleeding normal for you zippy? Have you had anything else since? I am really hoping it is implantation for you, it is such a cruel trick that implantation could well be the beginnings of an early AF though, especially with a short luteal phase and slightly irregular periods, you just don't know where you're up to or what to think. If you had IB with your last bfp though this is a positive sign? When will you POAS do you think?
Fedup glad you are feeling tired and sick all a good sign like you say. Good luck for your scan next week, I hope the weekend passes by uneventfully for you, yes how many weeks are you now? How long has your best friend been ttc? Is this her first? I don't know anyone else in rl really that is going through this, I have started earlier than all of my friends, and I hope to god they don't have to experience the doubt of being able to get pregnant month after month. It is just so awful, as you say it really does suck the life out of everything else, which is hard when you already have a wonderful DC to look after. I veer dramatically from just loving on and appreciating my DD so much, to feeling desperate and heartbroken that she may grow up on her own and I can't build our family for her.
I'm on cd 10 today, dtd earlier on. Feels like a lifetime ago but also just yesterday that AF arrived. I started the opks again today, so will give the Drs a call when I get my positive to book in for the tests 7 days from then.
Hope the others are ok xx

[fedupofrainydays]

Thank you zippy. I'm not going to relax about this one at all I don't think - but perhaps a bit if I make it past the 12 week scan.

Ok, I won't say too much here but that does sound promising re IB - and that you had it before. And 7 dpo ish is about right too. But I will shut up and keep my fingers crossed for you.

I'm only 7 weeks. Feels an eternity though!! I think I will be almost 8 on Tuesday for next scan. Wish time would go quicker....!

[zippygeorgebungle]

Well, I am fairly sure I am out, but AF so far this month is incredibly light and mostly brown. there was a tiny bit on Friday, some more yesterday afternoon and a little bit today, nothing at all overnight. I usually have very heavy periods especially since they came back a year ago after having the baby so it is definitely different from normal and a bit early but could well just be taking a few days to get going just for extra cruelty. Last time I was pregnant I did actually bleed for a few days and just assumed it was AF. It was only when I got sickness, huge breasts, sore nipples and nausea that I decided to test.

(Ah, the halcyon days of getting pregnant on the first attempt less than 3 years ago and not knowing what implantation bleeding, luteal phases, OVing or FSH levels even were!)

I don't want to POAS because it will be a bfn and then I will still pretend to myself it could be wrong because I only OV'd on thursday of last week.
These types of messages of "is it AF or implantation" always seem to end with a heartbreaking post a few days later so I am kind of resigned to it not really being good news. I am also exhausted and emotional but the latter came simply because of AF being here I guess tomorrow might be the beginning of AF proper so will end the ability to kid myself for another few weeks!

Hope everyone else doing ok! x

[GingerbreadBabyPlease]

Ah zippy, what a crappy situation to be in. I can understand you not wanting to POAS, as even if it is negative you won't be able to believe it until AF arrives! it does sound unusual for AF to be taking her time to get going, and especially if you are early, but like fedup I don't want to say too much. All in all it's just a shit situation, and a waiting game basically. I think it's quite rare to get a late bfp after several bfns, as you say I think most of those posts end with a bfn and then a late AF.
I guess only time will tell and see what happens during the week. Hope you manage to not obsess over it too much, and can get on with other things!

I have been having really bad cramps this afternoon, have been refilling a hot water bottle for hours so its always burning hot. Not sure what's causing them, haven't had a positive opk yet and it's a few days early so I don't think it's that.
If it weren't for the ongoing time frame and the fact that every failed month adds to the pressure and my belief that something is wrong, I actually don't want to get pregnant this month or next month as it would give me a due date very close to christmas. But then, I don't really care when a baby is going to be born now, just as long as I get one! Hopefully by taking the pressure off and not really wanting it, it will work for us!

Uneventful weekend for you I hope fedup?

[fedupofrainydays]

Oh zippy I think you are wise not to go POAS. I've seen IB or AF posts go both ways to be honest. I hope you get some clarity either way soon this week as the 'is it or isn't it' phase is horrible, particularly if you have had IB before.

Yeah am ok thanks ginger. Second scan tomorrow (should be 7 plus 6 based on last scan). Been feeling horrific so I hope all good signs.

I too didn't want a Christmas baby once but then didn't care as long as I had one! I was the same with August babies too for school reasons (although I am one!!) hope those cramps ease ginger. Sometimes our bodies do odd things. But if they continue I would ask for a scan to check all ok. I had awful cramps the month I got preg with my son. I booked a doctors appt and then thought i should better do a test before going just to prove am not pregnant - it was my first bfp!!

Take care ladies xxxx

[zippygeorgebungle]

out here inevitably! :( :( :(

I'm a Christmas baby and really love being so, don't let it put you off ladies. x

[GingerbreadBabyPlease]

Oh zippy how utterly crap for you. I am sorry. How are you holding up?
The cramps have stopped now, had them a bit when I woke up yesterday morning, but after a busy morning with DD they disappeared, am fine today. Well, I have a hangover after having friends round for dinner, but it's one of the amusing, slightly enjoyable hangovers!
fedup huge goodluck today, will be thinking of you. Have you already had your scan then by now?

[fedupofrainydays]

Sorry zippy. It's so shitty. Even though you held of POAS there was always that 'could it be IB' hanging in the background. How long ttc now for you?

Thanks ginger... I'm relieved to say there is a healthy looking 8 wk bean in me. I got myself very worked up before hand so then had a good cry afterwards (relief that is). Next biggie is 12 weeks....

[zippygeorgebungle]

12 cycles for me fedup. Number 1 conceived instantly and I just can't cope very well with this. Although admittedly only a couple of cycles since finding out the hormone levels were normal again post bfing. I think I am actually beginning to be a little mad about this, I get tearful all the time when I think about it. I'm functioning normally and nobody knows but even an email from a quite elderly male colleague in a different office that I barely know asking after DD, and talking about his grandchildren with a PS "any sign of a brother or sister for her?" was quite enough to privately upset me.

made another GP appointment for a couple of weeks, she can maybe get me booked in for those scans or something, I'd pay every penny i have to take me a step further.

Things looking great for you fedup. Can't wait to hear your positive news at 12 weeks.

how are you doing ginger/everyone?

[PunkyBubba]

Sorry to hear about AF Zippy I hope next month is your month and the GP appt helps.

Fab news about your scan FedUp So so pleased for you :-) I am also waiting for 12 week scan now.. just wishing these next 4 weeks away as quickly as possible

xxx

[fedupofrainydays]

It's definately the right time to go back to the doctors. The 'I'm starting to feel a bit mad' is a sign that you need to in my book. Getting worked up about it makes it worse and harder (and less likely to conceive ) to deal with each month.

If doctor turns you away, find a good local fertility consultant and I think a consultation is £200. I was planning to do that in January (but got preg with the mc one) after the GP told me I had to wait another year before she would help me (after already 1 yr of trying). My sanity and sense I was doing something was worth that price tag. I teamed that approach with my 'projects' idea - so focussing on other stuff (new career, holidays, house decoration) so although I was going to do something about ttc it wasn't the focus of everything - which it had become and was making me so so miserable.i hope this makes sense and is in some say helpful.

Have you tried cough medicine? I'm a strong believer in it as got upduffed twice when used it! (Obv first pregnancy was without it as that was before I was a nut job!)

Glad all is going well too for you punky!!

[fedupofrainydays]

Ps. The 'are you thinking of expanding the family' question had (and still has) me in tears every time. Both sad and angry tears. People just don't realise what they are saying... But doesn't make it any easier to deal with, does it?

[GingerbreadBabyPlease]

Zippy I really sympathise with you. It's all just shit, that's all there is to say about it really. I hate how life-consuming it becomes, which is so hard when you have a happy little energetic thing running around, all you want to do is hide under the duvets and feel sorry for yourself, but you can't, you have to pick yourself up and play with lego and go to playgroups to sit and talk about being a mum and having a family.
I know it's impossible but maybe you should think of it as only a few months of trying, how long since you stopped bf? They used to use breastfeeding as a form of contraception in days gone by, so if you could think of it like that maybe it would take some of the pressure and desperation off? You have had positive results back from your tests, so this is definately something to hold on to. My DD was also conceived pretty much instantly, and for me it has been so hard to let go of the shock that this time it is taking so long. I feel like because it hasn't happened quickly again there must be something wrong, but I think we have to take each ttc as it's own journey.
I completely understand about the feeling mad! It is horrible isn't it, and you feel like no one in RL can possibly understand or even cares really. I have taken on board some of lovely fedups advice and am trying to focus on other mini projects. Next one for me is to try and give up sugar and eat super healthily. I do feel like I have given myself a bit of a break this month, and just making that decision and setting myself up for AF has been a big help, I feel more relaxed about it this month, whether it's because my EDD wouldn't be ideal, or because DH is fed up of me being miserable or I'm just sick of being miserable I don't know, but I think you need to tell yourself it's ok to give yourself some time off; have lots of wine, coffee and cake, sex for fun, and really tell yourself you're not trying and it will be ok and expected when AF arrives. ( I will probably still be an emotional wreck when AF arrives though, but I feel ok for now!)
That said, I have been using opks so I know when to book in for my tests, and got a smiley today, a day earlier than last cycle so that is positive. Now do I need to book the tests a week from today? I have got an appointment next tuesday but will that be a day too early?
Fedup I absolutely hope this time goes well for you, are you and Punky both at 8 weeks then?

[GingerbreadBabyPlease]

Hi ladies, how are you all doing?

Zippy how are you feeling?

Fedup is everything going ok for you?

And Punky, Cake, and Sebs if she is still reading I hope you are all ok.

I have got my blood tests on monday, but they are going to be a bit pointless I feel as it will be 3 days too early, but I wasn't able to change my appointment. Ah well, at least it will get some discussion going with my Dr.....

[keeponjuggling]

Hi ladies,

Sorry to crash in on your thread I've been lurking on and off for a while, and starting to get a bit disillusioned with TTC. We're on cycle 16 of TTC no2 and still not sure what my cylce is doing. has anyone tried using a fertility monitor and would you recommend one? they are so expensive i can't make my mind up if its worth the spend.

I haven't read through everything on here, but I really hope you're all coping ok with this TTC business, its maddening at the best of times. Keeping fingers crossed for you all getting your dream very soon.

[Cakebaker35]

Hello ladies

I hope you're all doing ok. I have been lurking and am sorry to say its bad news here - I started bleeding yesterday at 10 wks and having been in for a scan today it looks like the pregnancy didn't get much beyond 6 wks and I've effectively had a missed miscarriage which is making itself known now. I was also told it was non identical twins. I felt totally devastated last night as I knew in my heart of hearts what was happening, but today having it all confirmed has just been a relief in some ways, I just needed to know what was happening in there and to rule out the dangerous stuff like ectopic etc.

I'm so sorry to share gloom but I've alway had such great support and encouragement on this thread and wanted to let you know what's what.

The idea of ttc again is very very far from my mind indeed, but I'm wishing you all lots and lots of luck. X

[PunkyBubba]

Hi Cake, as I said on the other thread I am so so sorry. It sounds daft but it feels like you are a friend and I was really upset for you last night. I hope you get the love and support you need to heal. Lots of love and hope to hear from you again in the future.xxxx

[GingerbreadBabyPlease]

Oh Cake I am so sorry. That is just truly awful. I'm glad you feel a bit of relief, and were able to get scanned straight away. I think putting ttc to the back of your mind is a good idea for now, focus on recovering and making sure you yourself are going to be ok. Also hope to hear from you in the future, take care of yourself X

[fedupofrainydays]

Oh cake I'm so sorry to hear that. :(

Go easy on yourself please, it will be a bit of an emotional rollercoaster for you and DH. After my mcs, one minute I was fine, the next in tears. I hope the physical side is ok and over as quick and pain free as possible for you. With the emotional side - that may take a bit longer and having a break from ttc is a good idea. Please do ask me if you have any mc questions as sadly having had two my experience might be of some help. Big hugs for you xxxx

[fedupofrainydays]

Sorry ginger I didn't reply to your message - how did it go at the doctors with the tests?

Hi juggling - ttc has turned us all a bit nutty! I've not used one but I know a few who have with mixed reviews. Some say they worked brilliantly, others that they have days and days of high fertility which is better than days of low I guess. I used digi opks and thought they were ok to be honest.

Gutted for you cake, I really am. Honestly have just had a little cry for you as it's just so heartbreaking. Lots of love xx

[sebsmummy1]

Omg I have just gone searching for this thread as it fell off my active list and I cannot believe the update. I am totally devastated for you Cake. I don't know what to say

[keeponjuggling]

Cake, so sorry to hear that. I can't imagine how you must be feeling. Be kind to yourself x

Thank you fed up, I think I'm going to continue with IC