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Conception

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Angels and Rainbows-remembering our angels and hoping for rainbows

998 replies

Star0909 · 29/10/2013 09:27

New thread ladies. Come in here for support.

OP posts:
Ducky23 · 01/09/2014 21:25

Don't apologise Smile

And you are allowed to feel like that, you have been through a terrible experience. It will take a long time before things seem better but that is completely normal x

sorry I am not very good with words (at all, infact I'm pretty useless) Confused

MademoiselleG · 01/09/2014 21:37

You're way more than good enough Ducky. You're here and you understand - that's just what I need Smile

I hope you're ok?

Ducky23 · 01/09/2014 21:43

Im hving an okish day today as my little man has been moving about lots Smile which will probably mean hel be tierd tomorrow Confused DH even felt it!

MademoiselleG · 01/09/2014 22:29

Excellent news GrinGrin I'll be going off to sleep smiling then xx

kayleighferrie1985 · 01/09/2014 22:52

Madem will be thinking of you tomorrow, and i really hope it's not too awful for you Flowers

Rubyshoe · 02/09/2014 07:23

Good luck today Madam will b thinking of you x

Ducky23 · 02/09/2014 07:25

Good luck m x

MademoiselleG · 02/09/2014 07:48

Thank you all. Off to work I go...

SpanielFace · 02/09/2014 09:08

Good luck mademoiselle.

BlueSkyandRain · 02/09/2014 09:37

Good luck today madem x

missalexandra · 02/09/2014 13:22

Spaniel sorry its a bit late but welcome to the thread, its so sad to hear about little Alex, and so normal for you to be feeling what you are right now. You are doing well just to be managing from day to day and to be looking after your other DS. Your little boy has a beautiful name, it is what we had chosen for our little girl too. We lost her on Christmas eve 2012 at 35 weeks. I think we all know what you mean about "not knowing" if something has gone wrong in a subsequent pregnancy, so many of us had no idea that things weren't just going smoothly until that fateful scan. There is no point lying, the anxiety of a rainbow pregnancy is huge. But the glimmer of hope it gives you is enough to get you from day to day. I hope you can start TTC as soon as your body tells you its ready, and that your PM results give you the go ahead. Hugs

Mademoiselle hope today is going as well as can be expected. Am thinking of you today

Tulip lovely to hear from you, and yes I certainly do remember you! Sorry that youve been told you have to use IVF. Its just an additional complication and after 8 years of it I can honestly say its tough. But looking at it from a positive view IVF does allow you to control so many things, you can even have PGD which allows you to avoid any cromosomical problems which from what I've been told can account for some stillbirths. Every tiny thing that you can control in relation to having a problem-free rainbow pregnancy is good. Hope you get your little brother/sister for A soon.

Ruby bet youre watching the minutes tick by! Will be thinking of you tomorrow, cant wait to hear what they say and when you'll be meeting Bear! Agree with what you say about our losses changing our perspective on things, like you say it makes you appreciate some things more, then at other times it just makes me angry that people whine on and on about stuff that is sooo unimportant its laughable.

Kayleigh Im crossing my fingers and hoping AF doesnt arrive today for you. Did you finally post the photos on FB? I think if anyone removes you as a friend because of that they dont deserve you as a friend!

Critter sending you a hug and hoping things are progressing with preps for transfer.

Blue thanks for the percentile info, 50% sounds like a good place for your little girl to be. I tried checking some of our measurements with Dr Google ang just got scary results so gave up. How's the anxiety? I did a couple of days when I actually wrote down every single time he moved, and was suprised at the amount. I think when I was just trying to remember the last time I felt anything my mind just was going blank, and thats when the anxiety was kicking in. Have you used the countthekicks app much? Yes I'm trying to eat a bit more but nearly everything seems to have carbs in it which puts me over the limit. First time since I was about 15 that I've worried about losing weight and not the other way round.

Lady thinking of you, hope you are coping ok.

Ducky hope your little man keeps up the disco dancing and you can relax a bit. Lovely that you DH could feel him too.

Earth hugs to you and your little chap

ATM how are you doing?

AFM just plodding along, waiting for Thursday. We're having a growth scan to see if the diabetes is affecting the baby.

Waves to all and anyone lurking x

missalexandra · 02/09/2014 13:25

Ruby just realised its today you have your scan, not tomorrow. Hope it goes well x

CritterPants · 02/09/2014 15:15

Sneaky quick post from me to wish ruby good luck with your scan - not long now - and madem good luck with the return to work, I hope you can take it slow. I found going back to work really really exhausting.

littletulip a gentle hello from me and so sorry you are still here a year after losing your baby. It's totally shitty and unfair. I had to have IVF to conceive my son (I have PCOS and wasn't ovulating and clomid didn't work) and remember telling the midwife that I'd 'had all my bad luck' Hmm so wasn't anxious despite my mum having a stillbirth. Two weeks later my poor little boy died when he was a day old due to oxygen deprivation after his cord ruptured at 39 + 3. Sad Sad IVF is not how anyone wants to conceive their children and it is a rough road emotionally. But as missalex says, it does mean you have some small measure of control, and that things are taken out of your hands. I did my first frozen embryo transfer (from the round that produced my son) in June, but miscarried in July, and I am about to do a second embryo transfer this month. Would love to hand hold with you, if you'd like company on your IVF 'journey'. But I wish that you didn't have to go through this. Big big hug.

blue thank you for your sweet message.

betty and lady if you're reading, am thinking of you both and hoping you're as ok as it's possible to be.

ducky glad your little man is so active, that's lovely news.

kayleigh hoping AF stays away for you this week.

missalex I am so sorry you're dealing with GD on top of everything. I am also so sad you lost your little girl on Christmas Eve. That is just so horribly cruel, on top of everything else. It's just awful. I hate that you went through that. I too love the name you and spaniel chose for your sweet babies... it's mine IRL and I've always loved having it.

Gah sorry for lack of further name checking. Got to get back to work.

Ducky23 · 02/09/2014 17:10

Good luck ruby! Only 2 weeks to go now isn't it? Grin

How was the first day back m? Hope it went ok for you x

Kayleigh, hope AF doesn't arrive! And I second what missa said, if anyone removed you as a friend on Facebook, you don't need idiots like that in your life x

Missa, how many weeks are you now? I hope they're looking after you properly and everything goes smoothly on Thursday.

ATM how have you been feeling in your pg?

Waves to everyone blue,critter,Betty,lady, earth, afm and little Thanks

Sorry if I missed anyone out! X

kayleighferrie1985 · 02/09/2014 17:57

MissA i have put Ben's photos up, only 3 of them (i wasn't subjecting anyone to seeing the pictures of him all blue) and people were lovely. I don't know if anyone deleted me, but that's their issue not mine.

Ruby i hope your scan went well today.

AFM AF did arrive this morning, but i was expecting it to be honest. After all the stress from my mum recently i think i'd automatically assumed myself out of the running this month. So i'm not even going to think about it now, just going to DTD every couple of days and see what happens. My cycle seems to have settled right down- today is 28 days since the start of last AF- so that's reassuring.

Waves to all xx

Rubyshoe · 02/09/2014 19:10

Evening all,

Madem Hope today went OK. Definitely treat yourself to a large Wine tonight.

Kayleigh sorry the red witch arrived. Good to hear that your cycle has settled down sounds like your body is definitely getting back to normal and ready for your BFP soon x

Blue, MissA, Ducky and ATM how are you feeling? Hope the anxiety isn't too overwhelming. MissA hope all goes well on Thursday with the growth scan, it sounds like you are doing everything you can to make sure your little one is strong and healthy.

Critter Hope all is going well in preparation for your transfer this month.

Scan today went well. Fluid has increased again slightly its 7.4, which is above 7 and therefore they don't feel they need to scan me again next week. Doppler of the umbilical arteries still looks good and Bears growth is going up so we are aiming for 38 weeks. They asked what extra monitoring we would like. DH would like me to have a CTG every day but I am trying to keep a balance between handholding and keeping a grip on reality. The consultant is happy with things, so the monitoring is only for our mental health. I am seeing the CM tomorrow and we have agreed on a CTG on Monday, CM next wednesday and then induction next Saturday. 10 days to go!

Waves to Lady, Spaniel, Earth, ATM and Betty x

Ducky23 · 02/09/2014 19:25

Omg ruby that's amazing GrinGrinGrinGrin

I'm really excited! Grin

I can see what you mean about wantig to keep a grip on reality too by not having too much monitoring (if that even makes sense!)

Sorry AF got you Kayleigh x

kayleighferrie1985 · 02/09/2014 19:33

Thanks ruby and ducky i'm pleased my cycle seems to be settling, and subconciously i think i expected AF to arrive as i wasn't all that surprised by it.

Ruby, how exciting! I'm so pleased the scan and everything went well

xxx

EarthWindAnd9 · 02/09/2014 20:27

Ruby that's great! The countdown is well and truly on.

Spaniel-I'm so sorry to hear about Alex, a very sad welcome to our thread.

Mad, I hope you made it through today in one piece.

Lots of posts since I was last on, I'll read back and reply properly later.

It's only the 2nd and my wobbles re F's birthday have already begun.

MademoiselleG · 02/09/2014 22:55

kayleigh I am sorry that AF has come yet glad you are putting such a positive spin on it - well done you for being so level-headed despite everything that is going on! I am glad everything went well when putting up Ben's pictures. You are right - their issue, not yours. Has your older son started school yet? How did it go?

Ruby 10 days - unbelievable. So, so close. You are doing so well. I am selfishly taking in all your lovely messages in one big bulk before you're too busy being a wonderful mum to your sweet baby in...10 days!

MissA - I second what Critter said. 8 years, then the death of your little baby and all on Christmas eve. It isn't right. Gosh I feel so gutted on your behalf. I will be thinking of you Thursday and hope that all is well! [I think I may have also only just understood the real meaning of your nickname... Sad ]

Critter - keeping everything crossed for you later this month. Your story also always makes my throat close up. Was it you who mentioned something about karma and luck/bad luck being equally balanced out? I used to think that too (I am certainly not comparing what happened to us to what happened to you...) and now I just don't know what the hell I should think anymore... I too have found going back to work (mentally) exhausting, I totally agree on that one. It's Tuesday, I've been back a day and I already feel that I've never had a holiday. (Probably because I didn't actually 'rest', IFYSWIM...). Anyhow - massive hugs to you and lots of strength xxx

Earth - so sorry you're having 'wobbles'. I can't offer much but you can have hugs too. My shoulders are very good ones to cry on and are there whenever you need them. I hope you feel ok. I can't imagine how tough this must be...

Everyone else, Lady , ATM , ducky , tulip , blue , spaniel and anyone I forgot to namecheck, I hope you're all ok.

kayleighferrie1985 · 02/09/2014 23:31

Earth sorry to hear you're having wobbles :( i'm sending hugs your way x

Madem thank you. Brian hasn't started yet- he goes on Thursday afternoon (his school does a staggered start). I'm hoping it goes ok, but i have my concerns because i really don't think he'll cope in a mainstream school and i have absolutely no faith that his teacher (the school senco) is going to give him the support he will need x

Ducky23 · 03/09/2014 17:07

Have got myself all worked up today Hmm (knew I would) the past few days my little man has been really active, to the point I could see my bump moving. Today I have had a couple of movements but they haven't been very strong or lasted as long as tey have the past few days. They kind of feel like he's stomping inside aswell rather thank kicking.

I'm 23+6 today, do you think this is normal?

ConfusedConfusedConfusedConfusedConfusedConfused

Sorry for the self centred post hae just really worked myself up! I had anterior placenta with dd so hardly had any movement anyway.

How is everyone else? X

missalexandra · 03/09/2014 17:46

Critter thanks for your kinds words you are very sweet. Christmas will never be the same for us again...not that there is any "good" time to lose a baby, but Xmas Eve did seem like a particularly cruel moment, we were just so excited and looking forward to our last "childless" festivities. Love your name IRL Smile

Kayleigh Sorry to hear AF arrived, its good youre being positive though and sounds like youre cycle is getting back to normal. Hope it happens soon for you x Did you know there are photographers who will retouch your photos of Ben free of charge? We used one from this webpage: www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org. She is in the UK and was very kind and understanding, her son was stillborn years ago. Just a thought, if there are certain things about the photos that cause extra distress (ykwim).

Ruby oh my goodness you have a date!!! I hope you realise that on Saturday there will be a whole load of us in there with you, Bear and your DH, even if only in spirit Smile How did it go today?

Earth so sorry to hear youre wobbling. We are all here for hand-holding if you want to talk about F x

Spaniel thinking of you. Hugs

Mademoiselle thank you for caring. It is pretty surreal to remember but in amongst all the grief on the 25th I remember thinking "oh my God we're going to ruin everyones Christmas" and feeling really guilty. And I have had it rubbed in my face many times by MIL, telling me what a sad and lonely Christmas Day she had "because I refused to see anyone" Hmm. How was today at work?

Waves to Ducky Blue Lady ATM Betty Tulip and anyone I'm forgetting

missalexandra · 03/09/2014 17:49

Ducky you posted while I was typing so missed your last message. I didnt start getting regular movement until about a week ago, so that was 26 weeks x

BlueSkyandRain · 03/09/2014 17:51

Don't know if it's normal but I certainly had the same worries several times. I think sometimes it's changes of position & them kicking towards your back or downwards rather than front. Currently having similar tbh. Hoping she's going to do some proper big reassuring movements soon or I'll have to get checked & we were supposed to be going to the cinema tonight :(. ((Reassuring hugs))