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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

The Genuine BESH Palais. To misquote Carlsberg, we're probably the barrenest TTC-ers in the world...

984 replies

HesterShaw · 19/04/2013 22:18

We are Barren. We are Evil, on account of having left procreating until our 30s. We are Selfish, thinking only of careers and money and cars and holidays. And lastly, we are Hags. Welcome to the BESH gin palace. Babydusters and instadiffers need not apply.

OP posts:
Northey · 19/04/2013 22:24

Relax, you say? Don't mind if I do. I might even give AMNH a sensual massage with candles oo er. Forgetting all about it and having a moment of pure lurve is bound to work.

evilgiraffe · 19/04/2013 22:26

Yeah!

Original poster
HesterShaw · 19/04/2013 22:29

Oh yes. And if anyone says "You need to relax! My aunty's hairdresser's cousin's cleaner had 3 rounds of IVF and then got pregnant NATURALLY when she went on holiday!" we won't be answerable for our actions.

OP posts:
evilgiraffe · 19/04/2013 22:34

And the "well if it doesn't work you can always adopt" ignorant fuckers can fuck off, too.

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn · 19/04/2013 22:38

Am I pregnant yet? Wink

Original poster
HesterShaw · 19/04/2013 22:38

Probably hun.

OP posts:
Original poster
HesterShaw · 19/04/2013 22:38

Have you BDed lately?

OP posts:
evilgiraffe · 19/04/2013 22:44

Don't even joke about "BD", hest, some of us have been sick more than enough this week already...

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn · 19/04/2013 22:46

Anyone seen the Conception Prediction thread? Hmm

Original poster
HesterShaw · 19/04/2013 22:46

Sorry my love hag.

I am watching Graham Norton. Mo Farrah sat between Lee Mack and Gwyneth Paltrow. I love this show. Mo has barely heard of Gwynnie, let alone Lee Mack. He spends all his day running.

OP posts:
Original poster
HesterShaw · 19/04/2013 22:46

Conception prediction? I don't like the way this is sounding....

OP posts:
evilgiraffe · 19/04/2013 23:05

I've not seen the thread, but it sounds hilarious.

Mo Farah is one of my personal sporting heroes - such a huge talent and such a nice guy! Who the fuck is Lee Mack?

Original poster
HesterShaw · 19/04/2013 23:19

He's a comedian! He's funny and I think sexy in a weird way but his sitcom is so to curlingly bad, I can't forgive him it.

OP posts:
Nokkie73 · 19/04/2013 23:25

I think lee mack is quite fit. I confessed this to my friends and they basically paraded me through the streets shouting 'unclean.....unclean'.

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn · 19/04/2013 23:30

Lee Mack was a stable lad at Ginger McCain's yard and sat on Red Rum

The thread is odd and has strangely angered me. Someone has found an online clairvoyant who will predict for you when you will conceive, and take £5 off you in the process. I just think it's a blatant exploitation of emotionally vulnerable women.

CaptainMoll · 19/04/2013 23:49

Evenin' 'ags

HadALittleFaithBaby · 19/04/2013 23:52

vairy naice new home laydees.

Nokkie73 · 19/04/2013 23:59

faif forgot to say congrats on the sproggins. Hope all is well with you both. Xx

cap'n wossin your pipe ?

CaptainMoll · 20/04/2013 00:15

Bubbles..
Grin

Nokkie73 · 20/04/2013 00:18

Has the captain been a naughty seadweller Grin ?

CaptainMoll · 20/04/2013 01:00

Me? Nope.

FriendofDorothy · 20/04/2013 08:07
EuroShaggleton · 20/04/2013 08:11

Morning hags!

Today is very eggciting. I had my first string of EWCM today in about two years. Maybe the mc has reset something. Or maybe not trying last month has helped me to relax.... (so clearly it is bound to happen now). Either that or it was beer. I had beer last night, for the first time in AGES.

Right, better go and pack.

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn · 20/04/2013 08:38
Nokkie73 · 20/04/2013 12:29

euro it's definitely beer. Where is it this time then ? Somewhere nice and hot and exotic ? I am glad you have been given the go-ahead, even though your appointment sounded like a colossal waste of time. You feeling a bit more chilled hungover ?

hest how are you ? I was sorry to hear of your woes love. X

cap'n you old drunken sea um....well the next word here is dog, but that's a bit rude, even for a potty mouthed harridan like my good self. I bet you have a hangover this morning Grin.

Moons at everyone else.

I cannot believe what a lovely day it is today. Normally the weather is a bag of shit, so this makes a nice change. I am going to Ronnie Scott's tomorrow for Ma Noks' birthday. Skee dap diddly bap baps and jazz hands all round. The last time I went, I have never seen so many stupidly coloured trousers on so many old people in one room in my life. The music was ace though.