TTC 10+ months, Part 11

[buzzybee123]

A very friendly and supportive thread for those taking way longer than they had ever expected to make a baby.

Critter are you on Facebook? I stuck a few Maldives photos up there if you would like to see them. (If you can't remember my real name, message me if you like!)

Very quick update

Teu - wow, that is fantastic news. Thrilled for you. xxxx

Gin - sorry for the sad loss of your grandparent and furyfreind illness. I am sending hugs.

Den - I 100% get where you are coming from with your sil. I agree, you know you shouldn't feel bad but you do. I think my sis will announce something during 2013 too. The pressure goes up 10 fold doesn't it. In my experience with this situation, acknowledge how you fee (best place is here), prepare for the possibility (best way is to imagine a lovely baby that is the image of sil) and then release the tension. Not quite mastered it myself yet. Big hugs, I know exactly how you feel.

Hello Princess - glad to hear you are well. Hope the house is sorted soon.

Weclome npg

Cosmos - take care and we will catch up in 2013 when the time is right. xx

teu woo hoo! How lovely for Xmas. Do come back and spill this months beans and remind us of where you were up to. Has mr teu come round to the home pregnancy test technology yet?! Congratulations.

nelly have a brilliant day lovely. And then bask in the post loveliness of your day and if you are anything like me, soak up the post wedding calm (no more lists!) on your jollydays. And as for a honeydiff - stranger things happen in ttc land all the time

pout did I say how jealous I am of your porcelain pen!?

buzzy I'm on a self imposed google ferility ban until after Christmas. What is IVM?

cosmos I'm poking my head into your one man pod pop up tent. Things WILL come good and then you won't be able to imagine it any other way. And 35 isn't v different to 34 and 11/12ths. You are still ace. Bob your head out as you need.

princess can't believe it's 15 weeks - wow. I did smile at the pregnant panda comment. I often think of myself as a panda, it's a running joke in our house. It hadn't really occurred to me that I will continue to be a source of fascination if I do get updiffed. We are the special ones . Enjoy every second and ognre the bad birth stories as best you can.

critter that really is ace news. I have good vibes about this! euro about the normals!

lemon glad you've had good work news.

mrsden there is every chance you will be way ahead of your sil. Those lurking future annoucements are hard though. But sar your advice is spot on.

doll hope the massage helped, good luck with the packing and the trip. It's rainy here so pack your waterproofs! And bring me some of your sun please please please.

I had a nice day of pampering today. Between me, my hairdresser and beauty lady who works at the hairdresser I now have;

Tidy eyebrows
A non 70s porn bush (my own handiwork)
Smooth hair free legs
20 Christmas nails
Newly dyed barnet.

I had become a hairy monster. Hare is always mildly bemused that I bother with any of it. Oh well! Tomorrow is a trip to the big smoke which I'm excited about, we are doing some cool things.

And - today I rang dr big and spoke to his sidekick nurse. As last year, he is on holiday thru January so I've and early apt in feb just as I'm due my period so it's realistically going to be March before me and clomid get it on. But that's ok. I'm up for spring clomid, twice and no more. Then summer ivf, probably self funded as I can't see nhs coming round by then and also it will need my fsh to be good and my weight to be higher, but clomid might sort that. So maybe an autumn nhs funded go if it comes to that. Sigh, it's being cheerful that keeps me going! I don't envisage any of it working! Must work on that.

I've just had a very young good looking guy perform craniopathy on me, it was bliss I'm going back on Saturday,

rabbit ivm is in vitro maturation its when they take out imature eggs and mature them in the lab, then do IVF, it means you don't have to take the drugs and worry about how many follies are maturing, but I need to look into it more, glad you a lovely day and enjoy you day in the big smoke :)

buzzy I would google 'craniopathy' if I hadn't vowed to focus on what I really need done
Have a lovely time taking your new barnet and nails to the smoke and thank for the rain-wear tip rabbit
As I haven't been around much and as a way of saying a proper hello there is a very unseasonal sunny pic on on empty profile page, just for today. x

I can't see it doll!

Neither can I rabbit let me see what I can do....

rabbit I fink I fixed it.

OMG doll that is just the cutest pic! Baby doll is just gorgeous (as are you lady). Such a lovely picture and everyone looks so happy :) And its nice to put a face to a name. Have a great trip home.

Btw, if anyone wants to be Facebook friends, lemme know. You guys are so much more than just randoms on the net.

Waves to everyone else. Just getting into work (a bit late and hungover!)

Oh cosmos I'm sorry you feel so down. Take care of yourself.
mrsd at the broody SIL. Seems in this game that you can't help how you view others potential. It certainly doesn't appear to be rational.
princess I love that you still drop in. Glad thing are going along well. House renos are always frustrating, worth it in the end though.
doll I'm glad there are people like you in the world. I echo Gin, beautiful piccie.
You ladies are lovely. TTC 19mths, the last couple I've just been so fed up with it all. Worked out I probably ov d10 or 11. Wasn't really a shag week, 1 hit wonder you might say d9, but it was fun. Not as interesting as princess! The fact that we were told a couple of weeks ago that we were unlikely to achieve naturally and that IVF was really our only option hit hard. Feel a bit bad about the large glass of wine last week . It is very early days and I've always been rather a glass half empty person sure that's half? Looks like less than half? Day at a time, week at a time, not leaving yet.

What a gorgeous photo, how happy you and little doll look. That's really cheered my morning up. Is he looking forward to the uk trip? How's you road sign injuries? I did a similar thing on holiday once, I had a huge bump on my forehead but no lasting damage.

gin I'll be friends with you on fb and of course any one else from this lovely thread. On condition that no mention of how we know each other appears on there, can you imagine!! I have a bit of a love hate relationship with it and I shut it down every now and again but keep getting drawn back. I saw another preg announcement on there, not someo e I see much of but still a kick. Oh well.

Nelly, I bet you're so excited now youll Have an amazing day, I can't wait to hear all about it.

I'm also happy to befriend anyone else who would like to hook up on the Book of Face. (I'd be very happy to dilute the baby posts from my existing friends! )

Not long to go now nelly! How exciting.

Doll that is a gorgeous photo of both of you.

I wonder at what point I will stop being amazed that fellow barrens are not all two headed monsters and look normal and lovely. I guess it shows the subconscious effect of the stigma of infertility. But every time I meet/see someone from this or the BESH thread or walk into a fertility clinic waiting room, I seem to be surprised that they look healthy and normal and you would never guess what is going on under the surface.

I'm 13dpo today and think AF is imminent. My temp was down a little (although I had a very disturbed night so that isn't reliable) and my boobs are getting less tender, which is a sign that the progesterone is dropping. At least it means I am back to normal length cycles and last month's wasn't a sign of perimenopause or something (I always seem to have something to panic about!). One more cycle and then natural IVF. It looks like my next ov will fall just into January. That will take us over our 2 year anniversary of properly trying. We had been careless for ages but the first time we deliberately targetted ov was NYE 2012-2011 when we got home after being out celebrating. It's partly that and partly that I turn 37 in less than a month that makes me think it is time to use IVF to hurry things along. I'd still rather not need it, but I feel much more ready to do it than I did on the first attempt.

Hi everyone,

I too would love to be FB pals with anyone who fancies it. euro I am so sorry that you're feeling periody. I know that this anniversary must be really hard. I do think that natural IVF sounds like the way forward for you, you are clearly really sensitive to the horrible drugs that they put you on for the down-regging, and it isn't as though you aren't cycling. Everything looks great from your latest scans, and there is no reason why it shouldn't work. I really have high hopes for you this year, I think 2013 is going to be the lucky one.

mrsd apparently there's an app that you can use that filters out baby pics on FB! I haven't used it, as I do love seeing pics of my cousin's premature baby - the little chap who was born at 24 weeks and 3 days earlier this year after they spent 5 years ttc - but I have considered it! Shame you can't get an app that only filters out smug instadiffs and not hard-won babies!

teu you should stick around as long as you like, I believe we have a policy of retaining our 10 plus preggos on this thread. One hit wonder indeed! Really fantastic news, you had sounded quite low in your posts recently, I am so pleased for you. And I wouldn't worry in the slightest about the wine. Hurrah for a baby kiwi.

doll you are beautiful! Inside and out. And little doll looks like a truly happy child. Thanks for sharing that lovely photo.

buzzy craniopathy sounds fab, especially with a hunky craniopath - that's a profession you don't often hear about! Never heard of IVM, that is interesting.

rabbit you made me laugh out loud with your reference to '70s porn bush'. I'm totally stealing that. MrC prefers the 'au naturel' look, I remember princess quizzing Caitlin Moran on the politics of waxing your lady parts, twas priceless! I think it's great that you have a plan for next year. Clomid may well help with the weight gain - I put on an extra 3-5 pounds this year through taking it, as well as the injectables, I reckon. My weight gain was not intentional at all, but it has turned out to be a good thing (I think). This is your year rabbit.

sar hope you are ok, you sound sad at the moment. Thinking of you.

That should have said 2010-2011 of course - i.e. two years ago.

Critter there would definitely be a market for an app that filtered out smug instadiffers!

Hay

Critter - thank you for thinking of me. I have been very sad and fed up but last week or so I have been trying to think more positive. Also, the fact that my lap date has been moved forward has helped a little. So onwards in to 2013 I guess best I can. xxxx

Buzz - wow at craniopathy.

Teu - that is a hard won BFP! Congratulations. Just take one day at a time for now but there is ever chance you will be holding a new born in 8 months.

Euro - it's great to hear you are feeling that you want to move towards IVF rather than feeling you ought to. I am 14 dpo so hours apart from you. I have felt mild cramping for the last 2 days and mild nausea. The cramping does feel different but my period signals change every few months so I know this is simply a new phase. And the nausea is due to working in freezing conditions and treating poorly people. I am not going to be seduced in to thinking anything exciting - been there too many times. My body likes to throw curve balls. Plus the 'womble flutters' have just started up which is a sign that the AF is due in hours.

I would love to be fb pals - I won't be announcing how we know one another. . Although I am so glad I do know you lovely lot.

Totally selfish post coming up.

I had what was supposed to be the pre ivf scan today. It turns out my right tube is filled with fluid, he's recommending g removing it before starting ivf. This is totally unexpected. I've never had any reason to think I've got a problem with my tubes. Shit, shit, shit. How unlucky can one couple be? We are the ultimate barren couple.

Teu a Christmas BFP!! Congratulations!!! That's fantastic news though I am totally with you on the one day at a time thing. As you can see, I haven't gone anywhere either. Don't worry about the glass of wine, you are far from being the only woman to do that and it won't have done any harm!

Critter you laid an egg! Hurrah! Extra special tail feather fluffs for you. It does sound like a good idea to work with your natural cycle for a while longer. IVF will still be there if you need it. Really interesting weight theories too.

Rabbit your posts have made me lately especially the elf balls and 70s porn bush. Hope you are enjoying your time in the big smoke with your glamorous Christmas look. I am interested in the endo/bowel theories. I always get bowel troubles to coincide with AF but like you have not been diagnosed with endo (though they haven't looked for it). It's very good you don't have endo though.

Madness wow i can't believe what you've been through over the years with your endo, it sounds dreadful. I think doctors have only really started taking endo seriously in the past 10-15 years. I remember seeing lots of magazine articles about it in my 20s trying to raise awareness because most women had been told, like you, that agonising pain was just a normal part of being female. I hope you're feeling better after the op. As to the downregging, i was on Buserelin so not the same drug, and I imagine the dose will have been different, so I'm not sure how useful my experience will be. Physically I felt fine but mentally after the first week I felt that my head was in a fog and I really slowed down at work. I'm hoping with a different drug you won't get that though.

Lemon hurrah for the IUI, fingers crossed for an xmas diff for you. Well done on the good work news too

Sar big hugs for you, you've been having a tough time lately. I hope things are clearer with your sister. Weddings are mega stressful and yes the other half will influence how she behaves with her family. i am at your friend's DH's comment though. That's hurtful and unnecessary. I hope she had words with him when he had sobered up.

Welcome to bubblegum, lilyrose and npg1, you are in the right place for advice, support and frequent comedy. Lilyrose I am really sorry about your mum. It's nine years since I lost my dad but I still miss him every day. The old cliche about time healing is true, but life is not the same.

Nelly have a fab wedding and honeymoon, looking forward to pictures! Hoping for a honeymoon diff, though if that happens everyone except us is likely to assume you conceived first month of trying

Doll I hope you're recovering from your accident, sounds nasty. I doubt the masseur/euse will be bothered how hirsute you are. My acu never was though I'm surprised she didn't come away with a rash from my leg stubble . That photo is just gorgeous, you both look so happy and relaxed and Little Doll is adorable.

Joy no no no to the prospect of being fannycammed by a friend's DH! I am sure if it comes to it you can arrange that he is not involved in your treatment. It would be weird for him as well as for you.

Gin I'm really sorry about your grandparent. I lost my last one too earlier this year and am really conscious of having moved up a generation, if that makes sense. Hope the fur baby pulls through. Sorry about Dave's SA, though as someone said, the quality must be OK? I wonder if the old lady porn had terrified his sperm so much they went into hiding . Mr A insisted he didn't look at the porn in the clinic masturbatorium. A likely story

Mrsden a post-IVF holiday sounds like a great plan to me. But be aware that when it works they will want you back for scans - 4 and 7 weeks post ET are the ones to avoid being away

Mr A has framed himself, as my gran used to say. Thanks Critter for timely advice on Friday eve. I asked what we should make for tea and he suggested going out, so we had a nice evening in a local restaurant. I guess if I'm not getting my head around being pg it's going to be even harder for him.

Buzzy IVM is a new one on me. I learn something all the time on this thread.

Cosmos I'm leaving a tray of mulled wine and xmas treats outside your tent. Hope you have a lovely christmas and start to feel more positive about things soon.

Euro at discovering fellow barrens are not monsters. I too have sized people up in waiting rooms and checked out women walking through hospital corridors with their telltale purple bags. Glad you are feeling in a better place about IVF, natural definitely sounds like the way to go.

Princess terrific to see you and I'm glad the house is progressing. February isn't long! at the uncle speculating on your conception though. Good job he doesn't read this thread, he might find out more than he really wanted to know

Feeling fine here, been worried about lack of ms at 7 weeks but finally started feeling queasy today (at 4am - serves me right for thinking about it). Maybe it will stop me eating everything in sight which is what I've been doing for the past couple of weeks. Now I know why some women put on loads of weight - I'm just ravenously hungry all the time. Eating for 2 is not good when one of you is the size of a grain of rice. I have a gut which is entirely down to excess food and lack of exercise. I guess in some respects it is starting to sink in, I am now beginning to worry about the various scan and test options. Realised that due to my age my chance of a Down's baby is about 1% which is actually quite high. It seems getting over the conception hurdle is just the start of a whole new list of things to worry about

Well I'm not ending on a negative. I would love to be FB friends with folks here. How do we do this? Should I pm my profile to those who have said they are there (I think it was mrsden, critter, gin, euro, princess, have I missed anyone?) No obligation of course! I promise not to incriminate or out anyone and there will never be any scan pictures or soppy updates. i don't update very often but when i do it tends towards the cynical and I never talk about what I had for lunch

Sorry for mega post, I have been absent for a few days and wanted to catch up with everyone. Why do I think it should be the weekend already?

x-post Sar and Mrsden

Mrsden I am really sorry about the news on the tube. Talk about bad luck. I wonder how come they haven't picked it up before? Have you had an HSG or other tests? That's really tough. How do you feel about having your tube out? It's a big decision. Sorry for all the questions! I guess sar and madness are your ladies for that conversation.

Sar I meant to say before, good news on the lap date. I hope that eases things with your new employers. Glad to hear you are starting to think more positively. You are our poster girl for positive thinking and providing encouragement for other people, I hate to think of you feeling sad

Den - I am here to give you a big hug after that nasty shock.

How much information did the Dr give you? Fluid in the tube is usually caused by a blocked tube. Prior to todays scan, what was the reason (if any) for your fertility issues? Did you ever have a HSG?

I am in a similar position. My HSG showed a damaged tube on the right which although not completeley blocked may be partially blocked and filled with fluid to some extent. However my tube wasn't visible on ultrasound scan which makes my diagnosis a bit confusing. It is often called a hydrosalpinx. I know it is a nasty horrid shock. The main reason for my lap next month is to assess the extent of damge to my right tube. If it is swollew with fluid I may have to have another op to remove it.

There is the slight possibility that 'something else' was seen on your scan e.g. bowel but it is probably wise to prepare yourself for the fact that there may be tubal damage.

You should be able to have an investigative op before choosing to remove the tube. There is evidence to say that fluid filled tubes negatively affect IVF inplantation due to the leakage of fluid in to the womb. But there are some woman who have success when leaving their fluid filled tubes alone during an IVF cycle. Don't make any big decisions now. Just be kind to yourself and pm any time about this. I know how you feel. I too have no known cause for tubal damage. Be very kind to yourself.

Just as I was saying I had nausea - what do you know the first sign of AF shows up. Hells Bells!!!!

Thanks art and Sar.

I'm in total shock, we were not expecting it. I had several scans with my previous gynae, she though I had cysts but said nothing about the tubes. Because dh has such a low count, I had no more investigations. No one was interested in me after sa. I moved clinics and this is the first scan I had at this clinic. He could clearly see fluid in the tube. He is of the view that if it is fluid, then it should be removed because he said chances of ivf working would be very much reduced. He said the jury is out on this, but he inks it is a bad environment for an embryo. He also said risks of ectopic would be higher. He is referring me to another dr who will do a lap. He s going to speak to her on the 3rd jan, then we see him on the 4 th to be handed over. I feel sick. I know of its bad the. It must be removed. We need ivf anyway because of the bad sa so my tube was goi g to be redundant anyway. I can't believe it. I've had no symptoms. No knowledge of any infection.

doll what a lovely picture :)

critter IVM is similar to what your sister is considering, I just like the idea of no drugs :-)

mrsd so sorry that would be a shock to anyone, sar has wise words, take time for all to sink in before making any decision, big hugs

sar sorry about AF :(

art they will ask you lots of questions when you are about 10 weeks before your nuchal scan, if they think you need extra testing they will let you know and then you can decide, try not to worry about something that hasn't happened :) just enjoy being pregnant :)

Evening all,

Oh mrsd what a nasty surprise . I don't think they really understand what causes these things a lot of the time. A hydrosalpinx doesn't necessarily men that you had an infection. That said, I had signs of infection at this lap and would never have guessed . Sar is right. Take some time to absorb the info and write down all your questions. If it is blocked I would definitely remove it. My doc said 50% reduction in ivf success rates. They can also just go in and put a clip on it to stop the fluid flowing down into your uterus. Either way it's a bugger and I'm so sorry that you have been temporarily derailed....

art glad to hear you're doing well and please keep coming back. I don't think the worries ever go away, we just replace them with new ones . I think lots of women have some bowel issues with af due to hormones - my mum does - and that's part of why io eventually just accepted it as my normal. It is going to take me a long time to forgive myself for not sorting it out before all of this damage was done.

sar I hope that you're feeling alright now. Af turning up is unfortunate but at least you'll be onto the next cycle for Xmas and that much closer to your op.

doll the photo was lovely. It is really nice to put faces to names. Little doll looks adorable.

Oh and teuchter HOORAY for the Xmas bfp. Wishing you all the best.

Well I have had a rather miserable 24 hours. The antibiotics are wreaking havoc with my digestion and just feeling pretty pathetically sorry for myself. I know that this will pass, just feeling impatient to be back to normal. Trying yoghurt which I hate to deal with tummy issues.

Also feeling guilty as friend just announced her second pregnancy - through IUI So long awaited and hard fought - and I still cried. Can I blame the downregging drugs??? It would make me feel better about myself to put the blame on them . It really feels that everyone else is going to get there apart from me.

Bugger forgot to wave to everyone else!!!!

Buzzy you are absolutely right as always, I must stop worrying, no point in fretting about things we can do absolutely nothing about. The main thing I am enjoying at the moment is eating like a pig without feeling guilty about it. No doubt i will regret that at some stage in future when I am the size of a small bungalow but it's good for now :)

Madness yes absolutely the downregging drugs could be making you feel low. I just felt flat - not depressed, and not a PMT kind of hormonal, but just... flat is the best word I can think of. That said, you have been through an awful lot recently and it's bound to upset you when a friend announces her pg to coincide with all that, irrespective of whether it's hard won. Feeling grotty because of anti-bs won't be helping either. It is a completely natural and understandable feeling and not something to feel guilty about.

Sar sorry about AF, but as Madness says, on the positive side at least all is on track for the lap in January.

Mrsden did they say anything about the left tube? It's a really nasty shock to have had, sending you and hugs.

Waves to everyone

art you have a 99% chance of having a very healthy baby, the eating thing is hard to control, plenty of time to work it off when they are a tolddler and you are running after them :)