TTC 10+ months, Part 11

[buzzybee123]

A very friendly and supportive thread for those taking way longer than they had ever expected to make a baby.

lissy welcome and yes your post was lovely! Lots of company on here for you. I'm so very sorry to hear about your mum, that must be so hard. As if ttc isn't enough on your plate. I totally empathise with getting attached to birthdays and significant due dates. It's good the hsg is clear and unexplained should be good but I know it feels v hard not knowing. Hang on in there and stick around here. It's helped me endlessly to have support.

We're all very new age and philosophical this weekend

rabbit I get really crampy and tmi alert have to run to the loo every 10 minutes. It just feels like my bowel is inflamed and achey and as if I need to go to the toilet, even though I don't always need to ifyswim. After my period is finished I always say that it lasts for a few days, but MrM says that I always play it down when I go to the doctor because I kind of forget how bad it is until I'm in the thick of it. He's the one watching me drag myself to work and dread social occasions during af. Now that I have a diagnosis it does make me feel a bit less like a hysterical woman .

I have also overshared and get where you're coming from. Nice to know that I'm not going through it alone though. I really couldn't hide this from people, even my father in law has come right out and asked how my health problems will affect our chances of conceiving......

Thanks lemon and glad that it all went smoothly. I get the whole down regging thing to keep things clear for implantation but I'm concerned about the fact that they really couldn't tackle lots of the adhesions because they're so pervasive. Have been reading up on some success stories of women with advanced disease like me going through ivf so trying to stay positive and see this as a way forward. I'll distract myself with a piece of your lovely cake .

Watching sports personality of the year and reliving the euphoria of the Olympics.

Oops. x-post. Welcome lissy you are in a good and very supportive place. I used to do a lot of thinking about dates by which I would definitely be pregnant. Hopefully this date will work out for you but try not to get too attached to it. There has been lots of success here in the past and there will be lots more I'm sure, you included xx

madness that's exactly how my pains are and I get the same symptoms but mine is just caused by organ chafing! No adhesions the bowel and womb just rub along each other at points in my cycle. It is horrible though. But I forget it's yukkiness inbetween pain days. And yes, my operation seems to have made it more public for people to enquire about stuff. Entire reproductive transplant by keyhole surgery?! I jest. We will get there. Hope you're not too hurty.

Morning lovely 10+ers!

Just popping in to say: I totally understand your concern madness about not all of it going. It does sound like a nasty level of that evil disease. Take care of yourself, let your mum spoil you this week and maybe discuss your remaining worries with you doctor in the new year. Also at the levels of pain you and rabbit have to go through every month. So sorry. Because I read up on it, I wondered whether I had some (my lab said no, thankfully) as I have some bowel-symptoms with AF. But that generally is a change in consistency, rather than anything worse (as a result of dropping progesterone).

And a massive welcome to lissy. It is the right place for support and I hope your stay will be short and sweet. So sorry about your mum. It is difficult enough without stuff like that thrown in! If you have IUI questions, throw them in my directions. I had my fifth IUI yesterday (and 4th gave a BFP and early mc).

Madness, you sound like you're doing amazingly well so soon after the op and hearing upsetting news about the tube and endo. I hope you're planning on taking it easy over Xmas. The downregging sounds like a good plan of it stops a further build up of endo.

Rabbit & madness, my bowels work a bit more during af, I think because my uterus is tilted backwards. I had a year or so where I got very painful periods but I wonder of it was a cyst or something because they've gone back to being more or less pain free with just a little cramping. No need for painkillers. Even at its worst though standard ibuprofen worked so it can never have been that bad. You have my sympathies if you've been suffering so much every month.

Rabbit, I think people like to know details and it's their way of showing that they care by asking. I currently am liking the fact that we haven't told anyone, I feel like I can get on with ivf without interference.

Sar, sounds like wedding nerves. Ignore.

Gin, was that the total count or the per ml? It doesn't really matter though as long as they had enough for the eggs, you made embyos, I reckon it might just be bad luck that they haven't stuck yet, it's a shame the clinic can't offer an explanation.

I have a busy week at work but finish on Friday for Xmas. Dh said that we should book a holiday for march as a post ivf treat, I'll either be in early pregnancy or fed up at it not working so something to loo, forward to is a good idea. We should really be saving our money for future ivf goes, not spending o. Holidays but it feels like a necessity. There has to be so something in the diary to look forward to.

mrsden a holiday sounds like a great idea. Any thoughts on destinations? I'm wondering about booking us a weekend away as a gift for MrM for Xmas as well. You are absolutely right about needing to have positive things coming up. Everything gets so wrapped up in treatment that we can lose a little perspective sometimes and getting away helps to bring things back into focus.

rabbit it would be nice to have something different in common but perhaps we can trade pain management tips. So far. I just use paracetamol and ibuprofen at the same time and lots of hot water bottles but it does feel inadequate at times.

lemon it is always good for unexplained women to talk through endo because some women have advanced endo and no symptoms at all. Some have very mild cases but really severe pain. I am lucky for now that I only have pain during Af. Some people have it every day

Well, as you can tell I am spending way too much time on the sofa with the iPad. Apologies for being a thread hog. Struggling with my body's reaction to all these drugs. I don't know what is caused by the anaesthetic and surgery, the two types of antibiotics or the downregging drugs. Found the patient info leaflet about decapeptyl (downregging injection) online and it said the injection must be given in the first 5 days of your cycle which sent me into a panic because I was about day 14. MrM is sure that the consultants know what they're doing but I felt a bit like I'd let them inject me with a month long dose of a drug that I don't understand and hadn't researched myself. I was warned that everything might get worse before it gets better so trying to stem the panic. My body just doesn't feel like it belongs to me at the moment. Would have been happier starting this drug when everything else was "normal"......

Mum coming round to cook me lunch today and a lovely friend coming after she's finished work so hopefully less excessive googling and more relaxing.

Waves to everyone and hope you're all having a good Monday.

Madness ? i?m in awe of you. You have been super brave. You must be exhausted. All these drugs must be playing havoc. Try not to google about this drug. I?m sure the docs know what they are doing. I know it?s easier said than done. I?m glad your mum and friend are coming around to look after yourself. And a really good idea to book a little treat for you and MrM.

Lemon ? well done for doing IUI. One follie is plenty ? crossing fingers for you.

Lissy ? welcome and what a horrible time you have had. Poor you. I really hope this is your month. You have come to the right place for hand holding and support.

Rabbit ? i know what you mean about people asking how things are going. Sometimes you just don?t want to talk about it.

Sar ? thanks for details about down reg. I hadn?t quite realised you had done the whole hog. It just shows that they don?t really know what is going on with you when you haven?t had clear answers. Really sorry to hear about your argument with your sis. I?m sure it is wedding nerves and pressures. I honestly don?t know anyone who hasn?t had a fall out of some sorts amongst their family over wedding preparations. In a week?s time , it will all be forgotten. But nevertheless it?s still very upsetting for you. i hope you are bearing up ok.

Euro ? any news? have you done another test?

I?m currently using opks as part of my monitoring cycle. I got a negative yesterday at midday and was a panicking that it is getting quite late in my cycle not to have one and then by 6pm I had a smiley face. In my excitement I ran downstairs and showed Roy the smiley face and I shouted ?look!? ? poor Roy sat up in excitement and shouted ?you?re pregnant!?. Poor man but really it just shows he doesn?t listen or pay any attention to what is going on!
Survived the weekend. Roy?s cousins are super fertile , so many kids and one cousin has just pushed out her 3rd in 4years. She is 42. We were only asked 3 times about kids. One said, ?so what?s going on with you , are you going to have kids or not??. I had polished off 3 glasses of bubbly and so it didn?t even bother me. Someone else said we should wait until we were at least 36 to have kids and she seemed genuinely jealous of Roy and I being kid free. I really do like it when people are honest about how difficult it can be. Most the time people make kids sound like heaven.

Big waves.

sarlat I'm sorry to hear about the family upset. We are also an "even keel" family. We rarely argue these days and if someone is annoyed, they tend to just let it go until it blows over. I'd find it difficult to cope with temper tantrums, particularly if they were out of character and "induced" by a new family member. I think you did the right thing in not letting yourself get dragged into an argument.

madness it sounds like you have been very brave indeed and you have certainly earned that medal.

buzz I've never heard the term "burgering" before, but that feedback technique is usually known as a shit sandwich in my office!

Lemon fingers crossed that the swimmers find the egg! They have a head start after all!

mrsd we found choosing and then having the holiday in the diary great for taking our minds off ttc. Where might you go?

joy I haven't tested again. I haven't had any nausea or other symptoms since about 6dpo, so I think if it was anything, it was just another one of my micropregnancies. Other people's pgs last for 9 months. Mine seem to max out at 9 days....

I was at drinks on Friday and saw someone who I have known for years but not that well. I heard through friends that he and his wife had been trying for ages, given up and then got the surprise BFP you always hear about. Anyway, baby is now 4 months and he was quite drunk and saying how it is awful, they will never have another and if he had his time again he wouldn't bother! I hope it was just the booze + sleepless nights talking.

mrsd a think a little break after Ivf is a good idea, you can find some cheap deals out there,

joy sorry about the smiley face confusion

lissy welcome and so sorry to hear about your mum

euro my cousin was in total shock after her first child and was very vocal that motherhood was not what she thought it would be, I imagine that is the case for alot people, I was surprised when she had another. I think burgering sounds a little nicer than shit sandwich :)

well busy at work so best get on with it

Crikey it was busy on here over the weekend!

lissy welcome, and I am so sorry to hear about your mum. Sounds like you've had a really rough year of it. I hope 2013 is better for you.

buzzy you are my hero. Positivity is just radiating from you at the moment and it's so amazing to see it. Kayla and the life coach seem to have really had an extraordinary effect on your happiness. I love the sound of burgering! Does it sound a bit rude or is that just me and my immature brain?

euro Aw sorry hon. I was really hoping for a Maldivian baby. But I do think that things seem to be changing with your cycle recently. There is something happening, it seems like, and that has got to be a good thing. OMG at the male friend's drunken comments. I do think it can be hard for some blokes - they have all the sleep deprivation and stress, and none of the intense oxytocin love hormones that women do. But what a thing to say - I would be furious. It seems so disloyal to his wife.

joy about your male friend going to work at the clinic. What a crazy coincidence. And poor Roy with the smiley opk. It sounds like you handled the weekend family do really well, wine is always a great strategy. I do think kids can be really hard work, and that it's worth - when possible - enjoying the freedom. The problem is not knowing how long the freedom will last, of course - if someone could say, well, you'll get pregnant in six months, then you could let your hair down and enjoy the wait a bit more. We went over to see MrC's best pal and his wife yesterday who just had a baby last week - MrC's best pal used to date sister Critter many moons ago so it's a slightly strange situation - but anyway, they both looked exhausted. His wife looked knackered but really happy, but MrC's best pal said that he couldn't understand people who said it was the best day of their lives - he said it was an insanely stressful scary day followed by sleep deprivation torture.

sar oh I am sorry about the family stress. That does sound difficult. I think weddings do very strange things to people - and the best thing that you can do is just keep your head down and hope that it blows over without too much lasting damage being done in the interim. I had a row with my former best pal at her hen do that has never been truly resolved, and I wish that I had reacted less to the drama at the time as it was out of character for former bestie. It's so weird how these big life events have people showing sides of themselves that you'd never see otherwise. Last thing you need with Christmas coming up too, I am sorry my lovely.

doll ouch and at the accident. That sounds awful. Funnily enough, a close relative of mine had a serious accident (now ok) abroad after being hit by a street sign in a wind storm this year. It sounds kind of funny but they are bloody scary things, great sheet metal objects in our paths! I do hope you are feeling a little better.

madness you have been bloody brave. I am mega impressed and I hope you're still at home taking it easy. What an ordeal. I agree with others, try not to stress too much about the drugs, the doctors must know what they are doing! I think women with endo are heroes, I really do. I can't imagine having to deal with that level of pain on a monthly basis. You are an utter champ and should be really proud of how well you are handling this.

nelly hope you're doing well - is the wedding this weekend? I hope there isn't too much pre wedding craziness going on, and that it's still taking your mind off ttc.

I've missed loads of people but got to dash for a meeting - will be back later with more updates!

lemons oohhh, here's hoping that eggy meets sperms and it's baby ahoy.
Crocheted decorations sound lovely you clever thing.

madness I'm so glad that the op is over and you are home. The doctors will definitely know better than Google so don't panic though I would do exactly the same!

rabbits I am feeling like an infertile at the moment too not helped by speaking to my gran for the first time in ages who specifically asked for an update and kept pushing despite me trying to be vague. She also kept going on about my cousin's baby. I knew that she would but it still hurt not as much as it hurt my cousin though all ten pounds of it
About the ovary pain I've been getting that at around 8dpo too. The pain is so strong that I've been convinced that I've been ovulating early when I'm not. I also get EWCM at that time too. Most odd.

Ohhhhh I bought one of those porcelain markers from Hobbycraft so might give those tags a whirl.

euro I was in Hobbycraft at the weekend and they has quite a selection of jewellery making stuff though if the pearls are valuable it might be better to get them professionally re-stringed.

doll ouch at your head. My sister walked smack bang into a concrete bus stop when she was little t'was very funny. My mum didn't realise that she needed glasses. Several incidents involving A-boards and lamp posts later my sister was in the opticians demanding Roland Rat glasses
Numbness does sound like a trapped nerve but I would get it checked just in case. Hope you feel better soon.

sarlat I am sorry about your sister. I reckon wedding nerves is the problem too. Planning a wedding on top of Christmas is very stressful. Take comfort that we generally only lash out at the people we love the most. Come the wedding it will all be fine and you will probably laugh about it.

joy Oh my God, I would not want anyone I know being on the end of dildo cam
Poor MrJ thinking the OPK was an HPT

buzzy I am so glad that Kayla is proving to be such a tonic for you.
As for the crafting I'm making owl cushions and decorating bags with buttons and tiny bows a la Accessorize. Also if I get time I plan on making scrapbook albums for the wedding photos that we haven't got around to giving to anybody yet. I reckon this all might be a bit ambitious especially given that I'm currently on Mumsnet!

rabbit your Sunday sounded heavenly. Paella, yum! Do you have recipe? I always thought it sounds a bit of a faff but I do love it. And pyjamas, crafts and books are pretty much my ideal way to spend a weekend. You know, your 'would you swap for their life, all of it' has become my mantra. It is SUCH a helpful way to dispel bad feelings. You are very wise indeed.

mrsd a holiday in March sounds like a great idea. It's always a bit of a hard month anyway, right at the tail end of winter but not yet spring! And it's so good to have something to look forward to. MrC and I did a ton of mini trips in the first half of the year and it really was fantastic to have all that time with him exploring the US and having our minds taken off TTC.

lemon hooray for the weekend IUI. I hope your parents' sapphire wedding party was wonderful too. How amazing to reach that stage! I think it's absolutely brilliant that they are celebrating. In the meantime, I have everything crossed that the chauffeur driven swimmers are busy waltzing around with your egg. Love the thought of them in their Sunday best!

Welcome bubble.

Right. Mammoth me me me post coming up. So ladies - I think I did ovulate on Wednesday . I have had an actual sustained temp rise - a clear one - with five high temps in a lovely upward curve for the first time ever since I began charting when I came off the pill in April 2011. And I had lots of EWCM on Monday and Tuesday. I don't think we caught the egg, as MrC was away all last week. We did have sff last Saturday before he went, but that was four days before ovulation and before I saw any EWCM. But for now, I am just happy that maybe my cycles are coming back.

My theory is that my cycle might be returning because I have put on some weight. I found a bunch of links over the weekend - this being the most useful - which really rang true to me. I don't know if there are any lurkers here, but I figured I'd post just in case there are any women reading this who have symptoms similar to me. Basically I think I might have some sort of hypothalmic amenorrhea on top of my PCOS. Apparently most doctors think you can't have both, but hormones interact in really individual and complex ways, so some people think you might be able to. When I was in my teens, when your hormones 'set', I was about 8 and a half stone. I went up to just under 9 at university, and then my early twenties I split up with a boyfriend and lost a lot of weight, down to 7 and three quarters. Then I met Mr C, went up a few pounds to about 8 stone and then stayed around there for the next eight years. In the past year, my weight has crept up to just under 8 and a half again, giving me a BMI of 20.4 (I'm 5'3" and a half). I reckon maybe my body didn't have the amount of fat that it was 'set' to have in my teens (when I was a little heavier) to produce oestrogen, progesterone and leptin, and that now I've put on some fat, my pituitary gland has woken up.

I think I may postpone IVF by one cycle, just to see whether this is a one off or whether my cycles are back for good. I used to have regular-ish six-seven week cycles so that means waiting to see if I get a period just after Christmas, and then again in early Feb. I figure waiting another six weeks can't hurt. I am desperate to get going, but it seems crazy to shut down my hormones if my body is valiantly trying to ovulate again after all these years.

Whew, sorry for the essay. Much love to all of you, especially those feeling blue.

xpost pout - you are a craft goddess! Do you have an etsy shop? You ought to! I love the sound of owl cushions. My parents have a photo of me with a barn owl on my shoulder when I was eight, an owl trainer brought it into school and we got to have our pictures taken with it. They think it's hilarious because the owl and I both have the exact same expression on our faces - very serious indeed. Sorry about the intrusive questions from your grandmother. That is always miserable and very draining.

Lissy - great to have you with us. It's a great source of support. I am sorry to hear you lost your lovely mum. That is so tough, I hope you are being very kind to yourself just as she would want you to be. I can understand the due date significance. Big welcoming hugs to you.

Madness - thank you for the info about your symptoms. Could you ring the ward to get reasurrance about the drug you were given? My goodness, you have really suffered over the years with the endo. . I hope you are not too uncomfortable this evening. Home cooked food and jim jams are perfect.

Rabbit - crikey another one who has had to suffer in silence. You poor lamb.

Gin - hooray for IUI. One follicle sounds just fine to me. Its just a waiting game for you now my lovely.

Den - I know what you mean about needing to save the pennies for treatment but I have learnt there is a balance to strike otherwise this journey feels terribly doomy. Book the holiday I say.

Joy - you handled the family situation perfectly. The champagne technique is my personal favourite. . And go you for making other people jealous.

Pout - love the roland rat glassers story. We were 'yeeeeeaaaaah rat faaaaaaans' in our house! . Have you opk'd on cd 8 to check for ovulation?

Critter - wahay for ovulation. I am impressed with you fertility academia. Sometimes we have to educate ourselves. Leaving your IVF cycle for now seems sensible. You can do it when and if you need to. Well done you for taking the initiative. You wise owl! And if you did miss the eggy this month - so what? Sounds like things are changing for the better.

Nelly - how is the prep? How are you feeling about the big day?

Thank you, thank you, thank you, for the reassurance about the sister argument. I am feeling better. However if anyone knows where Billy the fish is at the moment, feel free to give me a good wet slap. I guess it's not the 'temper / argument' thing that upset me. More the calm manor in which she described how innappropriate and upsetting I had acted - Like she had really thought about it and her opinion of me is forever tarnished. Was a bit weird. Anyway it WILL come out in the wash, least said soonest mended etc. Thank you for whoever said we do these things to who we love the most . I need to man up.

Went out for curry last night with a gang of people - was nice. One of my besties and her DH know about our TTC and IVF stuff and have been really supportive about it. Until last night when her DH took it upon himself to announce whilst a bit tipsy to all the lads that my DH knows "all about being locked up in a small room with porn" i.e. IVF clinic stuff. My DH was really hurt / embarressed. Not because of the rudness of the joke but because of the privacy that was blown away. Luckily we don't know most people well and I don't think many would have thought on / cared. And the best freind DH said we'll talk about that later to my DH after the comment, implying it's just a conversation for them two. But really the comment was out there anyway. We are not raging or anything but it is a real eye opener that people really really really don't get just how fragile this situation is and the need to control who knows what is paramount to our coping. Anyhow, we will live. But I don't want to live in fear that people would take it upon themselves to announce that our baby is an "IVF baby" if we ever get that far.

Other news - got a phone call from clinic to say they are going to do my lap on 7th Jan due to a cancellation. The timming could not be better. This is the week I have off work in-between old and new jobs. Just for a split second when I go that news I started to feel like things were going to turn around and start falling in to place for a change. I do hope so.

Waves to all, got to go. Wedding stuff to help with.

critter yay to ovualtion, it sounds like a good plan to put IVF on hold for a bit :-)

sar at the so called friend and his comment, makes you wonder abouyt what is going on in his life to make such a comment, glad the appointment has been changed to a time that suits you better, when is you last day with your current job??

oopps - sorry I meant lemon not gin with the IUI.

Buzz - thanks hon. Last day is 4th jan.

That's great news sar! You'll be going in just as I head back to work . It is so much better to get it all done and dusted and in between jobs really is great timing. Just make sure you don't overdo it when you start in the new post xx

critter that sounds like a very good plan. If there is a possibility of doing it naturally that is always going to be better than ivf but I'd be over the moon with ivf of course and you'll wonder if you don't give yourself time to try.

Thanks pout - I sometimes wonder if turning off the wifi temporarily would be a wise idea . Your crafty enterprises sound lovely. I love all things owl.

euro your friend's husband sounds really irritating. MrM works with a guy whose partner got pregnant really quickly and he never has anything positive to say about parenthood. MrM tells him that he doesn't have sympathy for people who choose to have kids and then moan that it's hard work but I think that if the colleague stopped and thought that we might not be childless by choice he would be more thoughtful. He's just overwhelmed by the change in his circumstances and doesn't understand how terribly it comes across.

joy bless Roy. MrM would have been exactly the same. It's impossible for me to be pregnant just now but I could imagine him doing exactly the same thing

I am much calmer tonight. Thank you all for your reassurance.

House looking much more Christmassy and sausages and mash on the go. Proper winter comfort food.

Hello ladies, I will attempt a bit of a catchup but soz if I miss some. Lots of lovely chatter recently!

sar I am and at your friend's DH. Could you have a word with them to explain how hurtful it is? Also sorry to hear about your little sis. I think you should call her bridezilla! But yay for the lap falling at a good time. I good omen for 2013 methinks.

critter that's ace about your egg! Wow, I wonder if the injectables have given your system a bit of a kick start? My cycles have been a couple of days shorter since the first ivf. Also the weight thing sounds interesting.

pout owl cushions sound ace! I want some. I'm so in awe of all you crafty ladies. Sorry about your gran. Older rellies are the worse I find.

Speaking of which, joy it sounds like you were a total trooper this weekend. It's kinda heart breaking that Roy thought the :) meant you were pregnant, but it did make chuckle a bit. I too have brandished them at my bemused husband.

lemons hope the sperms had a good journey on Sunday!

mrsd I would totally recommend a post ivf holiday, although not too near the otd. I found a holiday/wedding we did about a month later felt a bit tinged with sadness, but I still had the cystitis and couldn't drink properly! Of course, your cycle WILL work, so you'll want to factor in the early scan date :)

The sperm count was per ml, but was still a bit of a shock. We've not yet had our follow up...Just shows the bloody expensive suppliments did bugger all.

euro at shit sandwich and also at AGRCs wankalot protocol. I'd better not tell dave about it... Sorry the preggo symptoms have gone. I will be very interested to hear about the natural ivf.

buzzy hope work wasn't too busy. Our plan is the FET next year and then iui with ds. We have 1 year to get pregnant and we then move onto adoption

rabbit I'd love a dog soooo much. But dave is allergic to cats and dogs. He spoils all my nurturing plans . Our piggy loves sitting under the Xmas tree, but she also tries to eat it!

Gosh madness you've totally been through the wars. Your endo sounds awful. I did wonder if I might have some, but I only have a day or so of crippling pain and having seen my womb lining and blood flow on screen, I can understand why it hurts! I'm really pleased to hear you have a plan. Whenever we've been to clinic open days there have been lots of questions about endo and generally the drs don't seem to see it as an issue.

Welcome to lissy and sorry about the crapfest you've had.

doll ouch at the accident hope you are ok.

nellie thinking of you. I cannot wait to see the wedding pics!

My shitfest of a year is finishing with a final shitty flourish! My one remaining grandparent died last week and my fur baby is ill. I know it's uber selfish, but the grandparent death made me feel really barren, as well as sad :(. I think the fur baby is just old too. Fingers crossed she makes it until the new year. Also the pmt beast appears to be trying to manifest. I'm trying to drown in with Xmas booze and shopping... It means my period will probably come on Xmas day, meh.

artemis I've just turned off man vs food and thought of you!

I've spent all afternoon watching Xmas food porn whilst wrapping presents. There has been a lot of cranberries, chocolate and orange zest. Then as Hare is out I made bubble and squeak with yesterday's tea and poured a glass of red wine. Shove that in your pipe and smoke it Zita West. The food porn is actually making me feel a bit sick now.

madness I thought of something better we have in common! I'm currently learning how to make patchwork quilts . I'm so glad you are feeling a bit better. There is no doubt that all the drugs will make their presence felt and hard to know which one is making you feel what things. I do think GA makes you feel pretty cak in itself, layering on painkillers, abs and down regging is ahed core an I continue to think you are amazing. Have you tried buscopan for the pain? My consultant did a lot of checking to be sure it was ok whilst ttc (you'd think he'd know but hey ho) and gave me the green light. I try not to take it at ov due to my own theory that surely tubes need to contract to whoosh the egg down the tube. But it has been a lifesaver for me. Sometimes I need to take max dose but it always seems to really help and calm things down if I'm having a bad patch.

sar what a knobber to say that. We are so polite aren't we not to totally lose it sometimes. I hope you and DH aren't too stinging about it. People really are so ignorant about how hard it can be. Do you know, I thought about it and don't mind people wittering on about my ivf baby. The reason is that people who are struggling will hear that and be given hope. But it's a bit cak about how things are reduced to labelling. You have a lovely relationship though sar and a lot of people don't have that. And when relationships go wrong that is far more unkind I guess. I am rambling now! Hope you're ok. These throwaway comments really linger sometimes. We will never be as insensitive.

critter you laid an egg! Holding fire on the ivf is a good plan because it sounds as if things are firing up. Given that hatching the egg is the problem it may just soon be time for egg and sperm to say hello. I'm so interested in the weight thing. It is a source of struggle for me. I like to think I am 99 per cent anorexic recovered but I cannot seem to go for it and gain weight. And I really want a baby very badly. But this is probably a topic for another thread somewhere. In mental health . I do think it is a factor in my infertility and will be really interested to see how you get on.

lemon I'm glad the IUI went well and hope the tww flies by. With Xmas stuff it probably will.

joy poor Roy! We could all write such interesting ttc memoirs.

euro micro pregnancies is an interesting concept. My amazing brother is currently reading Dr Beer on my behalf because I'm too frightened to.

pout I love owl things. Please can I come and away crafts?! Odd about the early ov. I have had this. Maybe we have dyspraxic ovaries.

buzzy I'm sure if we get a dog it will love hare more than me. I'm and eternal optimist!

Lemon interesting you mentioned progesterone and ahem bowel changes as I had acu today and had a couple of lightbulb moments. She really is amazing and if anyone lurks here and is in Manchester I can pm her details. I've been tracking my cyclical pain and we had a look today. I get pain at three key points in my cycle (not always, but when I do, it's consistent) days 6-9, around ov and just before af. Sooo, all points when estrogen is raising. I never thought of that before and have thought of it as a mechanical issue. I never get pain in the main bit of my luteal phase, it all quietens down and is dandy. Not entirely sure what to do with this information. Interesting though. Also, she mapped out my past two years and when my trying has most likely been viable. What with the lump, the HSG month, the lap, the op and post op, my two years of trying has been continually hijacked. I know if I was super fertile I'd have managed to get diffed in this time. But it really helps to think that I've been thwarted repeatedly, especially seeing it on paper.

I'm going to ring the clinic tomorrow. I'm scared.

Cross post gin so sorry to hear about your grandparent I hope you're ok. When these things happen it dos make us take stock but you are not barren! On reflection, 2012 has been a shitty year for me too. 2013 has to be better for us! And pets being ill is draining, I dread it. Mine currently has really bad eyes and has become very reclusive. Hope things get fixed in that dept.i have set a two year tentative deadline as to when we'll go and get the adoption ball rolling. If I adopt, I know exactly what I feel I can and can't take on. I would like a baby under 18 months so realise there will be a lot of waiting so know I can't dilly around forever. But neither of us might follow that path!

sarforgot to say excellent news about the lap. Out of the way nice and early in the year.

mrsden book the holiday. We are currently in the process of doing the same. I envisage you diffed and happy in the sunshine.

God my spelling is so bad. Sar it should say public not unkind. New Years res to preview my posts!

sar how bloody outrageous about the 'friend''s horrible comment. Poor MrSar. People can be so unbelievably crass and hurtful. How rude. Grrrr. I am so sorry my love. I'm furious on both of your behalfs. Yay for the silver lining on the lap date though. You deserve some good luck and I agree that this small piece of serendipity has to bode well for 2013. I'm glad that is one worry off your shoulders, at least. Again - sorry about the row with your sister. She sounds like she's being a real brat. Does she know about the horrible year you've had?

madness oh sausages and mash in a Christmassy house, lovely! Glad you are feeling better. I am just blown away by how together you are.

gin I am so sorry about your grandparent. I can understand how sad that would make you, and how nice it would have been to have a baby on the way before they passed away. And I'm sorry your furbaby is ill, that must be really upsetting. I really wish I could come round with some Baileys and a stack of American comedy DVDs.

Incidentally I saw an amazing film the other night - . Has anyone seen it? Totally adorable and festive and funny.

Hello ladies, im new here too!

Ist cycle of clomid, cd 32 for me and waiting! Hope you dont mind me joing. The clomid thread is very quiet at the mo x