Ok I'm coming back...
I debated never coming back again, and even typing that is making me cry, stupid sobbing crying, the thought of leaving this thread breaks my heart, sad but true, i need it... I can't believe its envoked quite so much emotion for me today, the tears are literally streaming down my face as I'm writing this.. I was busy this afternoon, and purposely stayed away, but after a lurk, and a huge debate in my head, and the lovely neeko, yes, I'm coming back... I'm vulnerable as f* right now, and so scared even an iota of stress is damaging, I've worked so blummin hard to bubble wrap my cotton wool wrap and stay in my calm little sofa mode to preserve and protect this pregnancy, the neuroticness and anxiety is overwhelming and immense, so I have to put this all in a box, stick a pin in it, and move on for my pregnancy and sanitys sake...
So, yes, sorry if offense was caused by my feeling that 6 losses is different to one, yes in effect its the same emotions over and over, but its the physical toll of being pregnant 8 times as well for me.. I can only speak of my own experiences.. I know you all know what I've gone through, I know you've all suffered yourselves, I'm not demeaning that or saying I've suffered more, just that going through it 6 times is not only physically exhausting, but mentally exhausting and damaging, as now pregnancy for me is, as you know, an unbelievably terrifying experience, and I'm now on self imposed house arrest, scared to breath wrong, feel negative or stressed, even making the bed panics me I've done too much, Dh won't even let me do too much... After loss 1, you hope/pray its bad luck and try again, loss 2 you think uh oh, why has this happened again? Is something wrong? In my case loss 3, got to 11wks, weekly scans looking good, watching that baby grow, thinking this could be the one, then the huge nuchal fold, the possible 'incompatibility with life' chromosome issue, dead at 13wks, perfect tiny baby 
My 2nd ERPC, which didn't work properly, followed 6wks later by my 3rd ERPC, followed by a battery of tests, recurrent miscarriage clinic, hope of a reason, a cure, nothing, hopes dashed again, pregnancy 4, totally set up to expect failure, and failure happens, again after watching it grow and develop week by week, 4th ERPC in 11months, then a breakthrough, a possible cause, a cure! And wow yes, we embark on pregnancy no 5, we have Summer! 
Our miracle, our answered prayer, the most wraught with anxiety pregnancy, practically living at the hospital, but hallelujah! All I kept saying when she was handed to me, was 'she's alive, she's alive'! So, overjoyed, and leaving our future in the lap of the gods, Summer turns 1, I'm pregnant again, we try the treatment, but another failure, loss no 5, here we go again, back to that dark place, another ERPC.. lost hopes.. A year later, and loss 6, feeling like a failure, can't comprehend why? So here I am at pregnancy 8, and those first weeks were torturous, and I can honestly say all I thought was I won't be able to ever go through this again, god forbid, this is gonna be my last time whatever the outcome, cos I physically and mentally can't take anymore.. But, while I breath I hope, and whilst this babys heart is beating and growing inside me, i shall dare to hope, and no, you probably didn't wanna hear my biographical account, again, i know you know it, but as I said, no one but me knows what its like to experience my 6 losses, no one but monkey knows what its like to experience her 7 losses, no one but each of you, knows what its like to experience your own individual losses, however many you've each had, be it 1, or 10. We are all damaged and scarred in our own unique ways.. I hope I've not caused yet more offense, but I was asked, I'm as emotional as f** right now, and its an outpouring for which I apologise...
I'm off to hide under a stone...