TTC for 10+ months, part 9

[akuabadoll]

Ladies, number 9. The lucky one.

Thanks Princess. Since posting that I got another one!!

Hi teuchter re x-rays, I think you should POAS as close to the x-rays as possible to avoid it being too early, then at least you know you did it, right?

Princess in answer to your question re IVF doc I have two possible cycle options before the end of the year (keeping in mind travel this month and Christmas), so it's mid-October or November. Unless Mordechai, Petronella and Hepsibar get it together this cycle of course (naming follies is normal, right?) good luck with the Con tomorrow.

Doll After naming my limbic cortex Kiki, I think naming anything is normal now!

Just quick. Loads I want to catch up on. More woo this morning of the spiky variety. I tell you what, TMI but something I'm doing is moving my digestion along and I'm suffering considerably less from bum grapes. Just thought I'd share .

Woo lady wants me to take Chinese herbs. I've said I'll think about it. She's confirmed no animal products or endangered species though, which is important to me. But as I've resolutely not been able to give up tea, am still not drinking enough water, and frequently forget my current cocktail of pills I'm not sure it's for me. Any experiences?

Anyway will chat later. Huge bunny hugs for rabbit and mrsden and anyone else who has been visited by the witch. Massive love for teu on the barrage of announcements. Thinking of doll and artemis and others with IVF dilemmas. I will try to read properly later but work so busy and am doing wedding stuff afterwards.

Sorry you're joining me in af gloom rabbits, cd 2 is not so bad. That's good that your cycle is longer though isn't it?

Princess, I'm worried there won't be any names left by the time I need one. I've googled and no neals yard near me. Never mind I have a supplier of rosehip oil here.

Gin, where did you get the proxeed from? How much was it?

Sarlat, so exciting you're so close to fet. Best of luck to you.

Joy, I'm sure you don't have fine lines. People with kids look older IMO. That's one advantage of being barren. I have started to feel old, I have lines round my eyes and I've noticed I bloat in my tummy and hold water more. But at least we're not sleep deprived.

Yesterday was a bad day for me, cd 1 two birth announcements (one with my name) and then a pregnancy announcement last night. It felt like an a* one even though it really is only an a-. This was the last of my friends, no one left now but me and single or gay friends. She rang to tell me and I had to sound interested. I came off the phone and burst into tears. I don't see her much, she lives in the uk, but she rings me quite often so I'll have to hear all about it. She said it took 3 months and that they'd timed it to coincide with her dh's quiet time at work. How do people get what they want?

The bean is still in place and definitely dead :( so I get to choose between intervention or waiting. A bit of a difficult choice.

Sorry about your CD1 from hell mrsd. Two birth announcements and an A- to deal with over the phone. That is too much to ask from anyone! I have to admit I am so happy I congratulated nice diffed neighbor when I thought our mat leave would overlap slightly, I wouldn't be able now...

I'd just wait it out Teu and do the X-rays next week, when you'll know for sure. Testing too early is just not a good idea.

Right, try to do something useful now! Later!!

Oh lemon I'm so sorry, what a choice to make. You sound like you're doing so amazingly well, I really admire your strength. When do you have to decide by?

lemons how awful for you. Like Mrsd says, you are doing so well. Lots of love to you.

mrsd FFS at the catalogue of announcements. I really would not cope with telephone conversations on the subject. Well done you. She's not my friend and even I feel jealous of the perfect timing. That type of thing winds me up these days, that things seem to be textbook for people.

rabbits I am sorry at the spotting. Is it definitely the start of AF? It is awful that you got your hopes up this cycle.

The follie talk and how many are likely to pop got me thinking to my Clomid, 3 follie cycle. My consultant, when I was scanned post ov, didn't imply that only one follie had popped. I got the impression that they all had for all the good it did

As for the multiples stuff it is scary isn't it. It hit me a few days ago actually that if we have successful IVF there is a good chance that we will have twins. It shocked me a bit thinking on that.

Is anyone else certain that Kate Middleton is preggers??? I was watching her on the news and she is fatter in the face and was wearing a dress with an empire line. The I saw her drinking water when everyone else had champagne....welcome to baby hell ladies!

Sorry for feeble attempt and namechecking but luffs and feather plumping to all.

Ha, I knew it wouldn't be long before k mid cropped up on her. I read the daily mail website for their trashy celeb stuff and she's all over there. I think they're getting ready to ttc. She was probably drinking water because of the heat. I don't think she's pregnancy yet just because I wouldn't think she'd want to be in the risky bit while in a tour. But they're not going to leave it any longer, expect an annocement by the new year, that will be hell wont it.

Pout, I was thinking about twins too. Odds are much higher for those f us going or ivf, I'm undecided what I think about it.

Mrsd Maybe you are right about risking a foreign trip in the first trimester. Maybe she is fatter because she is actually eating in preparation for trying. I feel a bit relieved actually. I so cannot stomach the media frenzy and associated all things baby frenzy.

The twins thing really hadn't crossed my mind until recently when it hit me like a brick. Like you I'm not sure about it. On the one hand you get a ready made family I suppose. I guess the bottom line is I just wanted to be "normal" and have a couple of kids with a little bit of an age gap. I worry that having twins means that you might not fully enjoy the baby experience. Then of course there is the worry of not going to full term. Not to mention the impact on our bodies. I know we've talked about pelvic floors on here before but after carrying twins can you imagine!

Oh Lemon I'm so sorry that you are having to go through all of this what a tough decision to have thrown at you at such a tough time. Big hugs. Just do what feels right to you. xxx

Pout ...and Wills was banging on about wanting two children. It will be soon the announcement. It will be soon. Perhaps this news will bring me out of my zen calmness and rage will ensue. Pah.

MrsD you will have names, I promise! I can give you some of mine if you want? And then I can pretend to be all when you have stolen my names before I get a baby and you do? Crapness about the announcement. That really, really sucks. You will get there, though and some day all this waiting will have been worth while. The chimp man talks about dealing with stress in the context of laying out your whole life on a timeline in your mind. So, in stressy situations you have to: pause your thinking, imagine that you are looking down on your whole life as a timeline and then place what you are thinking about on that timeline and think how relevant it is to you in this context. By doing this, you may be able to relieve some of the pain? I am finding this technique massively useful when I think about my friends being pregnant, having babies, fitting babies into their lives like any other appointment etc etc So, I stop, think about my timeline and then consider how important their announcement is on my timeline and if it would feature as a significant marker. They don't. I have worked out over the past couple of weeks that I'm more bothered by friends having babies than not having one myself IYSWIM? That's what sets off my panic... ARGH! Everyone is doing this except for me! There must be a problem! I am useless! Why is THIS happening to ME. Followed by wailing. But I also know I would feel the same if I wasn't married and was single for example. Or if everyone could drive and I couldn't. Doesn't mean that this isn't difficult at all. No way! It's the most stressful thing but I was finding that I just couldn't bear to live with this kind of agony any more and something had to give. And that was me and my thinking. Maybe that's not very helpful. I'll zip it now. Anyway, I really hope you feel better and get some answers soon. Lots of love and hugs xxxxx

Nelly glad you had a successful woo session this morning.

In other news, Caitlin Moran answered my question on her web chat this lunch time It was quite rude but she answered, she did! She did!

x post Pout our friends have twins. They had a hugely complicated pregnancy but have the cutest little boys who arrived happy and healthy. Obvs I don't know about her pelvic floor. I would love twins. I also know / knew loads and loads of twins as an adult and growing up. They are all balanced lovely people who seem confident because I guess they have a ready made bestie as well as sibling. I also like the idea of birthing just the once....

Hi guys

Apologies for the quick post, will be back with more later. So after my crowing about the infjections, I managed to bugger it up last night after a very strong cocktail with a couple of friends and a couple of glasses of sparkling wine and hit a blood vessel, I think, as a minute drop of blood somehow went into the vial of medicine. Gah. Have called the doctor to ask if I need to throw it out, but googling tells me that I should, because my blood might contaminate the medicine or react with it. Ack. Seems like a terrible waste.

lemon what a nightmare, I'm so sorry. What a hard decision to make.

sar thanks for your brilliant advice. I had two boiled eggs this morning and will have smoked salmon for lunch. Dr Atkins would be proud of my protein intake! And I'll be trying out the hot water bottle too.

princess love Caitlin Moran. Also love that you sprinkle lavender oil on your pillow, I do that too sometimes and MrC makes fun of me for being a pampered princess!

mrsd so sorry about the announcements.

Right, more later, sorry for incomplete name check - got a meeting.

Just a thanks to Critter re rose facial oil xxx I now have the oil, the exfoliator, some sensual jasmine body cream and a body brush! Beats a mega box of pampers any day

Lemon, how awful, am thinking of you. I was awestruck you made a presentation, there is no way I would have managed that.

Teu on the subject of announcements and other peoples children in general ....... I went to see the counsellor from my Ivf clinic today. Am still processing how I feel about it and whether to go for another (at one point when I said I'd really lost confidence, she asked how I felt about that....) anyway she made an interesting point which was that my technique of steeling myself and tensing up is giving my body the subtle message that families are bad and something to be avoided. She phrased it less clumsily than that, and wasn't trying to say this was a cause, but by my own admission can't be helping. She said that to open up to and embrace all things babies and children is to subtly give your reproductive organs the message that this is a good thing. I haven't had a chance to try it out yet, but the next colleague that starts bleating on about their sprogs I'm going to try to channel that it's an opportunity to awaken my baby making bits!

Muddy I've been trying the Chinese herbs the last couple of weeks. My stuff came in little one day bags, and I've been brewing 3 days worth together. You stick the herbs in a saucepan and leave to soak for an hour. Then turn the heat on to boil for about 20 mins, then drain and refill with fresh water for another 20 mins, then mix the two sets of water together (or just one set of 40 mins if you've got a big enough saucepan. ) Anyway then I've just been drinking 2 mugs a day ish and keeping the rest in the fridge. It seemed easier than I thought after doing it. I tried herbs a few years ago and they tasted revolting. This stuff tastes fine, but weirdly i've found myself really looking forward to the next mug and almost craving it. Expensive though. I'm going to persevere for next couple of months and see how I go.

Rabbit CD 1 for me too, started last night so was up half the night, hate it when that happens. Big hugs and second was it pout who said that sounds a promising return to form.

Waves everyone else nice to read the updates as always.

Doll good for you for getting that far. I've only had short protocol but I would be inclined to go with what's recommended, but that's just me. I think there's something in what a clinic is comfortable with is good. Go for it, why not?

Ok here's my chance, theres a pregnant woman on tv - channel thoughts - pregnant belly, good, babies, good, deep relaxing breaths....... hmm

I think the odds of twins in IVF are only higher if you have 2 embies put back . FWIW my sister had two put back but only ended up with one baby. But apparently the only reason they did 2 was because she was international. If she lived locally they'd have only done 1 then they do a free Frostie transfer the next month if unsuccessful. I always thought I'd do 2 but actually now I'm not so sure. I can't possibly decide till nearer the time. Right now I think I will feel lucky just to have one good enough. Might do 2 if one isn't looking good enough for freezing? But otherwise I think I'd rather go for FET. The nurse at the first clinic said twins are often beset by health problems (not always of course!) and I feel I'm little enough to carry one baby let alone two.

Ok - doctor says it's fine and that I shouldn't worry about the medicine. Phew! princess sensual jasmine body cream sounds freaking amazing. And MUCH better than a box of Pampers! Love the 1985 SA advice, I will tell MrC. Today is his big day !

cosmos so sorry to hear about CD1. I am curious to know whether you notice any difference with the Chinese herbs.

pout one of my best pals has twins, she had them 'au naturel' the first time they ttc'ed, aged 27, with no twins in either family history - and she said that she even thought about terminating one of them briefly after the scan showed up two, because she was so freaked out about it. But she managed fine and says that now they are past the baby stage, it's almost easier because they entertain each other and she doesn't have to think up ways to keep them occupied.

teu stressful about the X-ray - poor you.

Oh goodness lemon sorry I didn't mention your awful "choice". I'm so sorry and you are being a champ .

Thanks for the herb info cosmos. Jeez that sounds a bit of a faff! She said you take them for up to 6 months then they have an impact for about 2 years?? This was said in the context of it not being unreasonable to expect a 4 year conception window. I nearly lamper her .

Anyway re the counselling. My hypno lady says the womb is a muscle and tension makes it react as any other muscle would. So hence we are working on keeping me calm. Although I am not sure that I'm "un-calm" normally? She also said the hormones require such fine balancing, and that happy thoughts release endorphins which have a positive impact, vs adrenaline etc which are corticols (???? Can't google as on phone) which are not good at all. She explained it much better than that which means I am starting to think there might be something in this.

Also whilst wasting time at the station, I saw the chimp book in the chart .

I just listened to this talk by Jon Kabat-Zinn at Google about mindfulness and stress - so interesting

m.youtube.com/watch?v=rSU8ftmmhmw

Critter I had a bit less spotting before the start of af, but need a bit more time I think before I can draw conclusions, this was first full cycle post Ivf so can't rule out what might be leftover from the meds. Feels very warming to my cold womb on drinking it though. Am intrigued as to what the follicular formula will taste like as it's different

Ok, ok the excitement about Caitlin Moran has not abated. The description of the chat on MN home page is

Columnist, novelist and "a woman, yes, but still funny", we were properly excited to welcome the eminent Caitlin Moran to the Towers. She answered questions on everything from the politics of pubes to running playlists, paywalls and Gaga

The politics of pubes bit may have something to do with me I don't think DH is very happy tho

Cosmos thanks for the link. I think I'll have a look at that later on today :)

princess just read through all the CM webchat to find your question. It was time well spent. HaHA about your DH's Immac habit!

nelly I did some herbs for about 6 months, like cosmos they came in little papaer bags and I brewed them in my cauldron. To be honest I didn't notice much difference after taking them.

lemon it is the worst decision to make, I had a natural one many many years ago, and then had ERPC's for the last two. The first time it was because it was classed as a missed miscarriage and had been going on for a month, I just wanted closer on it all, the second time I was 10 weeks and was too freaked out to do it naturally. There are pros and cons with both, it really has to be what you feel most comfortable doing.

cosmos sorry about CD1

mrsd and pout I pray for twins!!!! I just want my effing babies and couldn't go through all this shit again. I certainly will have 2 put back, but no more.

mrsd Sorry about the announcements and the baby naming stealing I doubt anyone will steal mine, not very exciting or weird

teu you seem to be having a crap time of it lately, big hugs from me and Charlie, not as good as cuddling a fur baby though, if you can postpone your
x ray that might be the way to go

well I've been very tearful today, I'm not even on the hormone drugs I had a patient ask me if I had kids I said not yet she told me to get on with it I know she meant well by it but I had a bit of a cry in the car. I then had a cry during my KSF, I will at least get my increment but my low mood at work was discussed, I think they will monitor me, not because they are worried but more that they are covering their backsides. I feel that all this will come back on me and I will end up paying for it further down the line, I'll be referred to Occ Health next week. I just feel so sad and fed up with everything :(

Buzzy, big hugs to you. People say such insensitive things, I think most people have no idea that having a baby doesn't come easily to everyone. It's so hard not to get upset but at some level you have to just smile through gritted teeth. Recently, I've noticed that whenever I get emails from friends they include somethin along the lines of "any news from you two" which I always interpret to mean "are you pregnant yet"? I feel like everyone is waiting for us to make a announcement. Sometimes I wonder if maybei should start telli g people the truth.

mrsd pretty much everyone at work knows, hard to hide two miscarriages and some of my patients know,its just when you feel so low its harder to put on a brave face, I don't feel like I can do it anymore. I find avoiding people protects me from the looks at my stomach and the people wanting to ask what is going on. If nelly is right about all this positive stuff then i'm going to have a baby anytime soon