TTC for 10+ months, part 8

[eurochick]

A friendly, supportive thread for those taking a blooming long time to conceive!

medusa IUI is £760 or £1560 for 3 attempts, co enzyme q 10 for both of you, Mr B takes macca, l'caratine, l'arginine co enzyme and pine bark

Thanks for the tips. I'll be making a shopping list. DH has been taking Wellmans so hopefully they are helping already, that is an amazing result for Mr.rabbit. I've been reading up on the coenzyme Q10 and that sounds promising for DH´s condition

rabbit thank you for the interesting and insightful post. Those thought processes are exactly the kind of things I want to know. This isn't really something one discusses with their friends and even if you do, chances are slim they can relate in any way. Just wanted to say thanks.

Afternoon ladies, well I'm slightly glowing sweating like a bastard after all my packing of the flat, general housewifery, a couple of calls to client's and the march to the other side of town to pick up a tonne of dry cleaning (I found two lovely things languishing in a bag at the back of my wardrobe waiting to be dry cleaned from last October!!!), buy lots of 'on offer' grapefruit juice, procure some baby aspirin before hols and send off ebay packages. I look like a beetroot and it's so muggy again. Melting!

Rabbit I'm glad that you are feeling much better and that the butterflies have gone from your stomach. Great news that your cycle is coming back to normal as well. See what do those consultants know eh? I know what you mean about the double edged sword. On the one hand I've liked hearing that some of my results were a bit iffy because it means that there is something not right, hence why it's taking so bloody long. However, there have been lots of things that I thought were wrong and panicked about and then told that they were fairly normal. I still find it hard to believe that they are normal and that there is some kind of conspiracy at the NHS to wave a hand at things that they can't explain and call them 'normal' to save face. Or maybe they are just normal, which seems harder to swallow. And then there has been the added stress and anxiety that having tests causes when you have to wait so long for results and even longer to see anyone who can make sense of them.... I like you wouldn't mind adoption. It's something I'm thinking I may do even if we do have children of our own. I just don't want to jepordize any access to treatment. Yes, that's selfish but that's where I'm at at the moment. And in any case it's taking so long for a #1 baby that it may be worth adopting in the middle. I've always wanted 3 or 4 children. However, I'm not in the right headspace at the moment and we would need to be much more sorted before thinking about this kind of stuff. That's incredible about your DH's sperm results. My DH's results were ok, everything was in the middle of where it should be, so not amazing but not crap - I may have to start shoveling vits down him. Thanks for sharing that gem!

Buzzy bloody hell that's expensive! I had no idea how much it cost. I've stuck my head in the sand and not looked at any private treatment. When are you off for your next round of treatment? Hope you are feeling ok at the moment. x

MissM have a really wonderful holiday. Enjoy lots of madatory everyday cocktails :) Also, enjoy a fun shag week.

Lemons FX for your 2ww. You so deserve a win.

Euro As a recent Olympics convert, I too am that you got to go yesterday and see the Bolt.

Nelly glad to hear you had a fab birthday celebrating and everything. How sweet of your DH-to-be to organise the red arrows for you Can't wait to hear about all of your other stuff later. I hope that it was ok and didn't upset you? FX for all of your tests and I too was a bit at how quickly you'll be doing IVF. Still it will be great if you get a BFP and then your 12 weeks will fall nearish your wedding and you'll be able to do one of those, we have lovely news speeches that I often dreamt about before my wedding (except that we stopped trying and I went on the pill so I didn't have AF in a big white dress / on honeymoon / PMT in the run up to the BIGGEST DAY OF MY LIFE. So that speech was never going to be, but I did still dream about it though. Stupid girl. I looked through our wedding pics today before packing them away and I got all misty eyed. It was such a lovely day. And I didn't even get cross or draw moustaches on all of the guests who've gone on to have babies since our wedding - 7 at the last count that I know of. It does make me wail at the universe, you bastard, where's mine!)

Doll I think my DH would tell me that IVF was my decision. And that would be tough because I would want him to want to do it as much as me. I know that he would worry about my well-being and that he wouldn't want to pressurise me into anything I didn't want to do, if I got there and didn't want to do it. I like Cares writing down of things that bother and marking them out of 10 to see where you get to.

Care I'm really hoping that you get good news on Monday. Really it is your turn. Hope are you feeling today?

Right-ho I guess I better start doing something or maybe watch some telly. I'm pooped and there seems to be endless amounts of stuff to do. I need to make dinner and do another load of washing. I'm slightly that my friend cancelled on me tonight. She's been puking and is exhausted (she's a teacher so has been off all day). I didn't sleep last night because of a migrainy headache that arrived yesterday and is still lingering now (it's sort of died down and if not I'll be taking more painkillers later) and the night before I had grumbly period pains that kept me up and I've had a full on week of organising my life and do you see me cancelling? Grrr. I shouldn't be angry and should be more understanding. But I do feel peeved. Hey ho....

Evening waves to all of you lovely lot. Hope everyone has had a nice day of whatever they were up to. xxx

I don't have anytime right now but just to second MissM v thanks rabbit I will be back to your interesting post when I have time tomorrow.

MissM if you look for multi set ups in the States (like Wellman) make sure you have note of what contents you are looking for as the same brands may not appear. Sorry if obvious but I speak with experience of assuming these things are pretty much the same all over.

Happy belated birthday to nelly
I can't believe how quickly you will move onto IVF - wow

rabbit It's good to hear that you are feeling brighter

lemons So hope that the 2ww passes quickly for you and that it's your turn for good news. How are you getting on?

care rooting for you and hope that you too have good news

princess How long before you move? I hate packing up (have it done it so many times I am a pro ) I always leave it all until the last week, the pressure kind of spurs me on! .

The ivf thing is a difficult one. I really don't want it and have all kinds of reservations from the expected to the totally bizarre & irrational. That said I see it as something I feel I have to do in order to move on. I need the IVF for closure. I also am afraid that if I don't do it I might lay in bed when I'm old wishing I had done it and regretting not pushing myself this little bit further. Fear is the big factor for me & has been all the way along. I am hating Clomid but will take it next month, and how ever many months the doctor is prepared to give it to me just in case the 2% fertility boost, or whatever the depressing stat is, is the "significant" tipping point in the BFP stakes. I am too afraid of ditching it and then kicking myself afterwards.

That said I am adjusting a bit to the Clomid, or it's out of my system a bit. I am now managing to sleep for almost two hours before being woken up by my bladder or the sweats! I also have lost a little bit of the weight but am still utterly starving all the time which so isn't me. I keep dreaming of eating and last night dreamed that I could actually taste the food and woke up feeling sick because the food "tasted" yuk in my dream (actually the Chinese food in my dream tasted of the god awful curry that MrP cooked last week but I won't be telling him that!) - Clomid is weird stuff indeed.

Waves and luffs to everyone

Pout Good to hear from you and nice to hear that you're feeling a bit better. I always have weird dreams. The other night I dreamt I was in Disneyworld shudder and it was dark and they were having an adults night only and were handing out optional dildos at the entrance to It's a Small World. I remember being horrified in my dream at the prospect and then my sister (who is 27) then turned to me and said, "what's a dildo" and then I woke up.. Phew! Anyone who studies dreams would have a field day with me.... and your dream tasting like Mr P's curry . Re move - we have to hand over the keys on 30/08; sounds like ages but we're on hols from Sunday to the following Monday (20/08) and we still have loads of work to do on the house. And I'm panicking, so have gone into full on Monica mode. All boxes are labelled meticulously. I'm slightly concerned about one which has "plastic toys" on the side. This is not some kinky array of sex toys it is in fact our collection of small japanese plastic rabbits and other strange creatures that we collected several years ago (they are very cute, but we decided to put them away a couple of years ago because we grew up they became unfashionable ) However, I'm now worried what DH's very liberal mum will think when she see's the box labelled: spare bed linen; books; X box controllers; DVD player; plastic toys; wrapping paper.

Oh I'm enjoying sitting down too much. Must I get up and make dinner?

Second thought: maybe I can put on the other side of the box "For the Mastebatorium" placing responsibility back on DH!!!!!!

princess make the most of all the care you can get on the NHS, SO is costing me between £350 to 500 a month

Hello all.
I can't really say too much on the IVF and adoption discussion either as we are not able to do either. IVF we are no entitled to and we only live in a two bed place so cannot go down the adoption route just yet.
If i had the money I would try IVF to give my OH the chance to have a child of his own and to experience pregnancy together.
Adoption is something for the future for us. Priority one is to get a decent (ish) home which is a year long plan.

I am about to make your blood boil, I had to walk away from this person today. I am in a new position and working within hearing distance of a very pregnant lady. Her pregnant friend came for a hang out and general baby chat ( oh the joy). She had just been for her 20 week scan and had come to say how upset he was because wait for it 'its a boy what am i going to do with a boy i didn't want one, I wanted a girl'.
I got up and walked out the room before i went into shut up you awful woman and be grateful you are having a child. She was really upset about it.

I am not suffering as much with this AF, and really feeling ten times better than I have for months emotionally. The clomid must have affected me more than I first thought. I am hardly crying lol

I was worried last post was a bit navel gazey so thank you for epbeing nice.

care so sorry, I forgot to add in how much I'm hoping this is it for you. Hope the waiting isn't going too slowly.

princess organising kudos! I too look at my wedding photos and realise most of the then updiffed now have sproglets. I look at my happy unknowing face as well!

pout clomid sounds fertility drug most horrid! God I hope you get pregnant this month and never have to take it again. It's so unfair clomid isn't a euphoric medicine.

bunny I'm not sure I could keep my mouth shut.

Can I just have a moan? I have rubbed bio oil in my scar religiously twice a day and it still looks bollocks!!!! It is forming a keloid line of grimness. Huff. How did I get landed with a c section scar having never been pregnant? The irony. But I can make a smiley face if I draw two eyes on my tummy with eyeliner.

(not updiffed) just counted and there have been 6 babies of friends who then had none. Three were pregnant and I didn't know!

Evening everyone. OK firstly I will give the slightly longer version of my story from yesterday.

So initially had height/weight/BP and the urine test. Nurse asked about my period as there was blood in the urine sample. Only 5DPO so either I have some kind of urinary issue or I'm spotting very early or some other reason. Anyway then went to see the consultant, who I had already been told was quite direct. He was. Took a history, very brief, made some sweeping statements. You're periods are 28 days - eh no 26 or 27 normally . What is quite annoying is I had about 5 mins max with the NHS consultant, have barely had any of my results discussed with me, had to basically relay what I knew to this man who was charging a fortune for his time, and have essentially had no investigations whatsover. Anyway, I knew IVF was really the next option so don't see the point in hanging about, what with FSH result being 11. I want to do it about 3 months before wedding so if it doesn't work I have time for things to settle down, get the disappointment behind me, and allow me to focus on fun wedding stuff in the last few weeks.

Anyway re the AMH. He said it was a better test. I didn't bother disagreeing despite what I've read on here. I asked if there was a level at which he would not recommend proceeding with IVF and essentially he said no, so we basically decided not to do it. However, he then said that if the result was better than the FSH suggested (although he had already told me I had low ovarian reserve, which was very prescient of him ) then it would mean lower stimming drugs, which I'm all for, so decided to do it. I am obviously hoping it comes in better than he is indicating, but am preparing for the worst.

Also I pretty much insisted on short protocol. His summary as far as I could tell was that I'd get one more egg with LP? huh? Well if that's true I didn't think it was worth it.

He also was talking about twins, saying at my age he'd recommend DET as the odds are better. 35-38% apparently. Again felt like a rather pointless discussion at this stage. All very odd. Mr Nelly looked a little alarmed at this point .

So basically I am very very glad I was well read on the subject and prepared to challenge, as otherwise I'd have been very confused and felt very railroaded. By all accounts he's a top doc; but as we all know they are arrogant, dismissive and frequently suffering from Megalomaniac tendencies.

Re the ultrasound. When doc was asking about tests, he asked about the scan and HSG results (which hadn't arrived despite my different coloured pens). So I said well everything was described as perfectly normal and confirmed ovulation. I said it was a dildo-cam scan, but he said if I'd had an ultrasound they would have been able to count follicles and give me an idea of what was going on. This wasn't done. Now I'm sure most of you know this - after all, presumably this is the type of scan you get when being monitored ( pout et al) but I'm cross that this simple test wasn't done. I have an early Sept NHS appt and might keep it (it'll be before we actually start IVF) and may try to get them to do this, as it'll cost £100 privately apparently. Although perhaps it's part of the overall IVF million pound bill package.

Anyway AMH will take up to 3 weeks. So we have our initial appointment about then. ERTD due at end of next week. So IVF will have to wait to the next cycle which should be mid September. Apparently Short protocol starts on CD1 (though may have picked that up wrong?). I have to say I don't think of it as fast. We've been at this for 2 years, I've accepted for some time now that it's likely we'll end up here (maybe due to what my sister went through) so it's just a case of get on with it now.

Oh - my sister had her baby today - another boy :). It was a pre-booked c-section as he was breech, but she had to tell them not to book it in yesterday as she didn't want me to have to share my birthday :). So excited to be an Auntie again!

Right going to post this - will try to catch up with the rest of you tomorrow but wanted to jot all that down before I forget.

Lots of exciting lymipcs, birthdays and house moving going on.

Well done Nelly with your progress - I am sure AMH / IVF stuff will be fine but it's not nice to wait for more test results. Good on you for making a decision and now you should allow yourself some time off from worrying and thinking until the cycle begins.

Interesting discussions around IVF and adoption. I agree that everyone has a unique line in the sand about what they feel they can and can't do. This is quite an instrinctive feeling I find. But this journey sort of forces us to examine everything.

For me - IVF treatment feels ok but tube removal doesn't feel ok. And weirdly adoption doesn't interest me at all. Although it would be great if I were to become interested. I think for me I am really keen to experience pregnancy and birth as I love gorey, weird things. I would also like to see what a mini me and Mr Sar would look. I think I would enjoy bonding with a baby and planning adventures. But not sure I am desperate to be a mother for being a mothers sake - if that makes sense. I do get bored of other people's babies quickly. I don't see these as negative feelings - it's just who I am. Like others have said, it can be a relief to realise what you are and aren't prepared to do.

Very recently I have even started to feel a bit 'don't give a shit'. This isn't all the time and the doom, gloom and panic still sets in. At the moment I'm not sure if this les bothered attitude is due to me trying to convince myself I'm not that fussed to get an ironic BFP - or if they are real. Maybe they are slightly real. But then another failed IVF transfer would leave me feeling crazy I'm sure. I guess the brain naturally looks for new ways to live and cope. I think my experinces since January have been very intense and frightening. So maybe I am getting a slight shift in emotions.

But all these discussions are healthy - I am so pleased Rabbit that you are feeling more proactive - even if that is just to recognise what you do or don't want.

Morning all

Lemon and Care everything's crossed for your 2WW - we need some more wins on this thread, really hope it's your month after all you have been through.

Nelly wow, IVF in Sept, that's close, but grim it was another crap experience with the consultant. I don't understand how they can get away with not looking at your notes until you're there in front of them. I would never go into a client meeting so unprepared. Mine is the same. The man must earn a six figure salary paid for by our taxes yet he's totally dismissive of the people he's supposed to be helping. It makes me so . FX for a good AMH result so you can have minimal drugs. And great news on your new nephew!

MissM good luck for holiday shag week. It is sooo much easier when shag week coincides with holidays and weekends rather than trying to raise some energy after a long day at work. Hope you have a great holiday!

Rabbit thanks for your musings on IVF. I'm glad your anxiety symptoms are subsiding and you're feeling better. I'm like you in that my thoughts about it flip regularly dependent on how I feel at the time. So unfair about the scar! I'm really impressed with the wellman vits result. I was told by the fertility nurse not to use pregnacare . Having ignored much of her other advice I may acquire some for me and MrA and hold his nose and force it down his throat, it can't hurt

Buzzy the private treatment costs really take the piss don't they. What advice were you given on IUI vs IVF? IUI has never been mentioned to me, I don't think our NHS clinic offers it but maybe I should ask the consultant about my chances with private IUI.

Princess I'm so impressed by your Princess Monica act. Moving house is a nightmare. You made me about the masturbatorium. I had forgotten about that. Sounds like something the ancient Romans would have had probably did

Pout I have the same feeling on possible future regrets re IVF. I'm glad you're adjusting to clomid. It's interesting you think it's making you hungry. I feel I've been stuffing my face for the last few months despite trying to restrain myself and was gutted before we went on hols that a lovely dress I bought last year is now too tight to look good. I hadn't made the connection with clomid. After 5 months this is my first one without and it and the chocolate is now sitting in the fridge untouched. I've hated taking it but if it had worked for me I would no doubt feel completely different. FX it works for you.

Bunny well done for not punching that pregnant lady at work. If she doesn't want her son I'll have him.

Akuaba Mr A is like your DH in wanting IVF to be my decision. I can understand his reasoning, it's my body etc, but it does feel like lack of support sometimes. He doesn't even like talking about it. I was surprised he was upset at his twatty friend's comment, it made me realise he does have feelings about this whole situation even if he's unwilling to share them with me. Those with recalcitrant OHs, how do you get them to talk? I thought holiday relaxation might enable conversation but I tried on a few occasions and he gets that slightly panicked deer-in-headlights look then just changes the subject He ought to be the first person I talk to about this stuff but he just shuts down.

Sarlat yes these discussions are healthy. I am so grateful to everyone on here for being so generous in sharing their thoughts, feelings and experiences. You are all terrific people and you really are a lifeline

Waves to everyone. I'm shattered already this week, haven't even been doing anything particularly taxing!

I'm sneaking on here while the PIL have gone for a walk. I virtually had to push them out the door, I'm going crazy for some time alone. I could start several AIBU threads based on this visit. I won't bore you with my PIL tales though so don't worry. I do have to tell you one story though, MIL was telling me about someone she knows who knows someone who knows someone that has had a baby that has some sort of hearing problem. Anyway, she then said "I know there's nothing you can do to prevent having a baby with something wrong with it, but I do think that women who leave having babies until their thirties are asking for trouble" She sort of stopped mid sentence because I think she realised what she'd just said. I glared at her. Then she tried to make it better but it made it worse, "what I mean is all sorts of disabilities are more common once the woman is over 30. Downs Syndrome is really common in women over 30, that's all I meant." I couldn't be bothered to say anything because I know I'd have lost my rag, so I went outside to get the washing in and take a deep breath.

nelly wow, september is not so far away. I think all consultants are a bit like what you described.

care how are you doing? I'm keeping everything firmly crossed for you.

I'm sorry I haven't really been able to come on here so I don't know where everyone is at. I'll try my best to catch up next week. As for me, it's CD31 and I have some cramps and some watery pink stuff when I wiped so think AF is round the corner.

"really common" eh mrsDen?

I'd say MrsDen Sr. gets nominated for most misinformed statement of the year.

I'm going to wager that she's a certain nationality that aren't necessarily known for their tact?

ha ha missm, she's English actually. She's led a very sheltered life, and has a bit of a small town mentality. She is very uninformed on lots of things but doesn't hold back in having an opinion which she insists on fact. I think the Daily Mail is her main news, health, scientific source! This is why we haven't told her anything, she really wouldn't get it. I think the over 30s comment was a way of saying "come on, hurry up, you're 31 now get on with it". She can be very lovely lots of the time and is very kind. It's just hard having them stay with us and be here 24/7.

Talking of the DM, has anyone see their news story on Fearne the bbc DJ and her pregnancy. Scores highly on the unfairness scales for me considering they've been together 12 months or something. How come all these celebs get pregnant when newly in relationships? Is it the new trend?

It's always difficult when you're all under the same roof. My mother and I have a 3 days maximum rule.

Deep breaths, really proud you were able to keep it together in the face of such a comment but if she's normally lovely then she won't have meant it badly and probably just doesn't understand tactless the comment was.

I heard the Fearne story on R1 as I woke up this morning. I just rolled over and pulled the duvet over my head.

God your MiL sounds lovely mrsden. As a recently turned 38 year old, her sage advice is music to my ears .

BTW my IVF is private, in case anyone wondered where I lived that had miraculously short waiting times!

Care ? i hope you are holding up ok. I keep thinking about you (not creepy at all) and imagining what you are going through. Anyway I have read on MN and FF of people?s perfect embryo?s not sticking and i have heard of other people?s less than perfect embryos sticking so there doesn?t seem to be a pattern.

Nelly ? happy belated birthday. And i can?t believe how soon everything will be kicking off for you. that consultant , however good, sounds pretty arrogant and pretty awful in the way he delivers diagnoses. Scary that he values amh levels ...my acupuncturist said she yesterday that the best ivf clinic in the country thinks they are utter bollocks. I was wondering whether he was trying to make me feel better about my appalling result. Congrats to your sis as well. Her story gives me much hope.

Artemis ? welcome back. Glad you had a good Greek expedition. And at MrA?s friend. What a prat.

Princess ? weren?t you tempted to tell the stork that she actually made you feel worse about things? Anyway well done for getting rid of her.

Lemon ? good luck this month. sorry you have been struggling emotionally. It?s one of the hardest things to deal with. Also, how long did it take between finding out you were going for lap and actually having it? I was told 2 weeks ago i would be referred for one but i haven?t heard anything. not sure when to chase. They said it would be 2 months and just want to get on with it. Also, once i have it done , i plan to book ivf consultation about a month afterwards...by the sounds of it that sounds enough time to kick off with things doesn?t it?

Rabbit ? i am pleased you seem in a better place. Mrjoy?s count and motility went up when i put him on wellman and zinc and i told my nhs consultant that?s why they had improved and she laughed at us and said that they do nothing for sperm. 2 previous test had showed 49% motility but after the pills they were on 75% ...so I am sure they do a lot.

Bunny ? you are right that story does make my blood boil. If you remember my colleague was complaining about the very same thing. Grrr. I also recall someone else complaining at the start of the year they were having a boy. I am now praying that when they have their 2nd it will be another boy [evil thoughts]. Anyway well done for saying soething.

Mrsden ? oh dear poor you having to sit and listen to your mil try drop not so subtle ? get a move on? hints. Did you tell her that babies born to women over the age of 30 also are likely to have webbed feet and 2 heads? My great aunt was dropping me these kinds of hints a few weeks ago as well...?Duchess Kate is 30 , they should get a move on , time is running out, how old are you again??. ?yes i am older Aunty?... I changed the subject pronto but she kept mentioning similar things. I had to give her the benefit of the doubt that she will be a hundred in a few years and really is from another era. Urgh at Fearne C. She annoys me anyway and i see her nearly every week anyway as i work v close to R1. The paps are always following her which i don?t understand and now she will have a big bump which will irritate me even more. Also she was banging on about feeling jealous of Holly Willoughby and her babies and so it seems like she has shacked up with someone and just got pregnant. Perhaps that?s very unfair but ?celebs? seem to jump in to the baby thing very quickly and then the next thing you are reading is that they have split up. Rant over.

It?s been interesting reading people?s thoughts on adoption and ivf. akua - how long was the adoption process to get your son? I was reading the other day that only 70 babies were adopted in the UK last year. when i was reading people?s comments on this, the whole process just sounds so drawn out and difficult. from what i can gather i don?t think MrJ and i could adopt because we have a 2 bed place and no garden. I find it terribly sad that it is made so difficult in this country. Yet any feckless person can have sex and have baby after baby. People who have abused can have babies. It is difficult to get your head around. I would want to adopt from abroad but someone I know of who did adopt abroad spent £25k for this to happen. Eek.
Also I remember saying i would never do ivf but it just shows what panic and fear does to someone. I will never feel comfortable with the idea. I hate meddling with nature but I would meddle if i had cancer so it?s a ridiculous thought process. i don?t have a problem with thinking that a baby wasn?t made the natural way though. I think i would feel proud i had come through much more than other people i know who conceived quickly and naturally.

MrsD oh poor you with your MIL. That sounds like the sort of thing I've heard my mum say in the past (I think having had her daughter in hysterics down the phone and wailing about not having a baby in recent times has somewhat changed her tact on this) and the sort of thing that both my Nan and DH's Nan would spout. What a horrid sentiment and yes very Daily Mail. Are they going home soon? We live near DH's parents so have never had to spend more than an evening or day with them. They are lovely, but I would find it hard to have them to stay. I don't like people on my patch for too long. Oh FFS - how did Fearne Cotton end upduffed before me as well?????? She's such a twat. I bet the birth makes her nostrils flare even wider. As she would say, it was probably her "skillz" p.s. no-body talks like beyond 24. Twat.

Joy I was very tempted to go back to the Stork and tell her what I really thought but as I let her go on and agreed with her and on on the phone and didn't really think about what she had said until after the phone call I didn't know how to back out. I am usually very blunt and honest. TTC has changed this slightly. There are 3 people who I have not managed to do this with: a) the stork b) the consultant and c) my old GP before the good one. I think my brain goes into "respect your elders" and "these people may hold the secret baby key, don't upset them" which isn't helpful and yes I should have told her she upset me but I just couldn't be bothered to go to battle over this one. I feel a bit bruised and emotional when going through all the things I've had tested and particularly talking about the MCs.

Bunny it's such a shame when people can't be grateful for what they have. The girl that does my waxing was asking what I wanted when I told her that I was trying for a baby and I just replied, "after 3 years, just a healthy baby will do or failing that any baby" She looked a bit and then she (helpfully) told me that, "loads of people take ages to have a baby. Don't worry. I just think they need to relax and have lots of sex" NSS!! That will teach me to talk to 20 year olds about trying to have a baby (BTW she started the convo when I mentioned that I was celebrating my 2 year anniversary - you can imagine how this would seem to a 20 year old - you're 30? Yes. You've been married for 2 years? Yes? You've bought a house with a garden? Yes. And you don't have a baby? No. But we're trying. Oh. These things take longer for some of us than others. Oh. How long have you been trying? 3 years. Oh. That is a long time. Yes...and you can imagine how the rest went.

Nelly I'm glad that things are going ahead. Sorry if you thought it sounded like I was really about it going ahead so quickly. 2 years is a long time and you have already made your decision and like you if I was at that stage I would want it to happen over night. I wonder how much longer I have to go on before it's suggested? I think you have to try for 3 years with no luck down here or they can refer you if you have a problem. They haven't found anything yet so I reckon they may refer me for IVF next year if I don't get there naturally first. I've got everything crossed for your tests, which will be fine, I know it! Sorry you had a shitty consultant too. I just think that's what happens to them after too many years in the profession. Those stats were good though. Twins would be lovely. You could get mini hobbles for your twins and all go out together Great news from your sister too. Yay!

Artemis sorry your DH still doesn't really want to talk about stuff. That really sucks. I do talk to my DH but I don't plague him with it all the time any more, I get a lot of stuff out on here. Although I just told him about Fearne C on the phone and he just went "skillz" back at me. I told him I'm really wound up about it, which he dismissed and he started talking electrical points He quite often tells me nice things and is lovely but there are other times when I can tell he just wants me to shut and wishes that the baby thing had never come out of the bag (just like 5 mins ago). He wants a family at some point and Mr A clearly does if he was bothered by his friend's comments. Although when I said to Mr Princess, how would you feel if I was pregnant now (last week before I did the test) he looked panicked and went, "I'm not sure, there's so much going on with the house and everything else it wouldn't be ideal" So at least I don't have to worry about letting him down now, as it would seem he doesn't even want a baby right now and that maybe it's just me doing all the pushing. I'm not even sure where all of this has come from as I didn't want to acknowledge it so didn't mention it the other week. But now I have it makes me feel a bit . Although he's right and being practical. And I know that he would be really chuffed if we did get upduffed in the next couple of months. But he's right it would be daunting with so much going on. I think I'm just desperate to know whether or not I can have children. This is my main concern. And men, well I just don't think they get the same biological urges do they? And I think that's why a lot of the decision making is left to us because we're the one's who seem to want it more. Sorry for the random ranty ramble.

Sarlat I have those don't give a shit moments too. I felt like that a lot last year (between Sept - Dec) but I think that was a lot to do with lots and lots and lots of social things that I wanted to drink at and not having any pregnant friends and trying to allow myself to recover from the MC in May. I too would like to see a mini Mr & Mrs Princess. But my thoughts on adoption stay the same. Not yet, maybe later. If we can't have kids, we'll at least have each other.

Oh and I am now really pissed off with the Fearne C thing. How does she get to pregnant? It's the same feeling I felt when I found out that she had a house in the countryside and an a Aga (a couple of years ago). She's 3 months older than me and she's another of my yardsticks. Why do I compare myself to these ridiculous people? That's going to make me itch for the rest of the day. STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! Ok. I'm officially mental. Time to go and pack the rest of my holiday clothes.

Princess step away from Fearne C. She is a witless, vacuous bint. Any spawn of her loins is likely to be as glassy-eyed and vapid as she is. If the fertility gods won't give us all baybees maybe they can see their way clear to giving her piles, incontinence, mahoosive stretch marks and a baby that screams its head off 24/7

Thanks for your thoughts on the men and talking thing. I think you're right, it's just not a biological urge for them. And as we have said before on here, they're not monitoring their bodies' every little twinge and thinking about TTC day in, day out. Mr A would like kids (well, kid - he is horrified at the prospect of more than one so the IVF twins thing freaks him out) but he took a lot of convincing that we needed to get on with things and I don't know how bothered he will be if it never happens. But I might be being unfair to him. Then again he can always disappear and find himself a vacuous blonde like FC she's not a natural one to impregnate. She's been with her boyfriend for One year? grr... thinking we could bribe joycep to accidentally leg her up in the street

I went to get waxed and pedicured before my hols and went to a new place where they made me fill in a form. Questions included 'are you pregnant', 'are you taking hormonal contraception' and 'are you ttc'. I actually ticked no to all of them. I hadn't booked any treatments where those things would matter so i don't see that it's any of their damn business and i definitely didn't want to have a conversation with the 20-year-old therapist about it. Just what you want to deal with when someone is ripping the hairs out of your legs

MrsD at the MIL's comments. As MissM says, she's not a statistician is she? I like the three day rule MissM. Though I think 3 hours is possibly the most I could take of DP's family...

Work is hard going today. Who stole my concentration?! I wish they would bring it back

Oh bums about silly cotton. Another one to add to the gallery of 'got pregnant before me and I was irked by it'

mrsd how very unhelpful of the mil. I get a lot about me being a career woman and it always gets my goat.

artemis would it work to actually schedule some time to discuss things properly? I know I harp on about it all the time but when we have actually made the time to sit and thrash things through it has made me feel a lot better. I do think a lot of men have more residual optimism that things will turn out ok and don't feel the need to verbally digest things.

princess I also get dumbstruck around my cons. Even though there have been several times I've been effing furious with him. Unfortunately (or fortunately) he is a very upbeat jolly man who does seem to have a kind heart and he always gives me as much of his time as I need. This makes it harder to disagree with him even when he changes the story and says things that are blatantly silly and extreme. I have total empathy about outpouring to younger girls, I've done it often. Afterwards I think, what did I expect

nelly sorry the cons was brusque. I think you are amazing for just going for it and I'm sure the amh will be just fine. Sorry if I didn't say that before I just get the wobbles hearing those letters.

sarlat I think you are so right to trust your instincts about your tubes. I know it's so hard but keep positive about this fet. You will be going into it with a new maya tastic womble.

joycep is your ivf in September too?

I'm cd27 and futility friend says 14dpo and I'm on knicker watch. It's like betting on the same lame horse every race and still believing that maybe, just maybe it could win.

artemis about fc. I wonder if she's on mumsnet?

Its a funny thing, the famous people who fall pg and who bothers you or not. FC for me, not bothered in the slightest. I have no jealousy issues at all towards her, wouldn't want to be her, or have her life, and as she's 99.9% likely to split up from the father, then its not the happy ending that twists my gut. She falls for me in the camp with: Jordan, Mylene Klass, that one from that other girl band, etc etc.

The ones that twist my gut are the ones who seem to have everything. Beyonce. Natalie Portman. That Orlando Bloom's wife. Grr.