TTC for 10+ months, part 8

[eurochick]

A friendly, supportive thread for those taking a blooming long time to conceive!

Bunny, have you done another test to make sure everything is ok? As this is so unusual for you, I would do another one - just in case. Do you think this could be to do with your last round of Clomid? If you're still not sure, can you try and see you nice GP? I went to mine when I had a second round of bleeding in between periods and they couldn't have been nicer about it all. That's when they started doing all of the blood tests etc. Big hugs xx

Oh bunny if this was any other thread on MN you'd be excitedly POAS by now. Instead I'll just say keep taking the Folic acid just in case. Do you normally get any spotting? Apart from the 5 day late bit, my period always starts like you describe; but at least I know that's what it is. It's always worse when it's a new thing. Our bodies do love to mess with our minds!

It is indeed princess, well remembered. No celebrating though, just wailing into my and booking in for some Botox

Oh Nelly hush yourself women! I expect that there will be cake, champagne, birthday treats and lots more x rated action in the Nelly household! You're not going to be that old. And don't forget you are celebrating getting your baby (just like your friend said). Although small snigger with very-tight-no-expression-emoticon at botox comment. I can't imagine that you need botox?!?! Surely not :)

Poas on Sat and BFN. No I normally start straight in with bright red blood. I stopped taking clomid two cycles ago so should be long gone and had shorter cycles with that around 24 to 26 days. Its very light brown bits only when I go to the loo. I'm convinced its an ectopic now lol. I will test again after work if I get chance to get to a shop that's open and if not started by tomorrow then go to Gp.
I bet it appears at tea time that's my normal time of day

Quick update, defo not this month as I am know attached to my loo and can't see me leaving it anytime soon sorry tmi

Hello to everyone and thanks for the support today, a fab bunch of people as always.

I don't feel too bad, I had convinced myself I was pregnant as I had been feeling odd since last Monday and have had very sore lady lumps. I am never this late but with all the BFN I don't even think I was and it didn't work out. Just a month messed up. I did have a lot of stress last week. My DD was away for a week with her dad and I have never had that before so was past myself, which lead to arguments with OH. So lets blame this mess up on that. Not looking forward to day three of super heavy and pain but then again once its done I am back at GP for an internal and see what happens from there.

Doll do you know how and when your internet will be fixed?

Welcome back Atremis, glad you had a nice holiday and hope that you can eventually get your HSG booked in, even though its not fun to do at all. I have had a name change due to no longer laughing that much.

Princess I am very jealous about Blur and all the activity going on, plenty to keep you busy.

Joy thats lovely that your friends did that, its a simple gesture but lets face it we are all at the stage of trying anything that could help.

nelly i was so jealous of the window ledge romp but I have to say i was relieved at the admission of gaps of weeks, well like they say its quality not quantity. Good luck with the clinic and may be it be a swift and fruitful journey for you both.

Hello to all I have missed out x

Right ladies, princess has been thinking about other things to implement because she crazy lady because she is fired up with positivity right now had to much time to think doing the washing up. Where can I lay my grubby little mitts on some of this baby making crack a.k.a. baby aspirin? Boots I assume? Ladygee you are my inspiration. And I'm going to road test the glass of grapefruit juice every day. Luckily I lurve grapefruit juice (especially with gin and soda and bitters - not as a morning drink you understand) and am in need of more ECWM. I hadn't really considered switching to grapefruit juice in the morning since I've gotten out of the fruit juice habit. It struck me whilst I was julienning some ginger. Ding! I only had a tiny blob and that was way too late in the month last month. I am summoning more EWCM by the POWER OF GRAPEFRUIT ^Princess lifts imaginary grapefruit above head like She-RAA does with the sword)

Anyway, if I get an August diff and a June baby sighs a summer baby would be soo nice the different variables will be:

1. Balearic mountain air, petting donkeys and sun bathing by a private pool in a lush hotel
2. Dropping baby making pills every evening before dinner, a.k.a taking the baby aspirin
3. Needles instead of rubbing for pleasure. (Accupunture in place of reflexology)
4. Cocktails - with lots of grapefruit juice and no alcohol - in the playsuit apres bathing.
5. Lots and lots of holiday sexy time with air cycling for fun too. Oooh look, I just love air cycle in the nude on the big hotel bed on holiday. I imagine DH's face now WTF are you doing Princess. You know, cycling is sooo trendy these days and we all know how bad Princess's are on bikes (makes their knees hurt and makes them angry too) so Princess is taking up air cycling just because she can, on holiday, naked on the bed....

And this ladies, is how I intend to make TTC sound rock and roll and my August diff more tellable to future generations. I like the idea of being a crazy Nan. Come on Fertility Gods - I need babies to be a crazy Nan - it's my only ambition in life!

Cripes, we are coming to the end of another blooming thread. We will be on number 9 before we know it! Number 9 is also luckiest of all lucky numbers in China according to doctor google. Plus there is a song by the Moldy Peaches called Lucky Number 9, "Lucky number 9, hooray!" I think there should be a lucky number 9 diff for all of us. Whose in? I would like lots of hooraying. Especially as August diffs will mean September (more #9) BFPs.... I don't like the idea of getting into double numbers either. Can we start at 1 again or maybe call our thread something new? Double numbers scare me.

LOL at you being Crazy Nan princess. I think you'll be an ace crazy nan. Re baby aspirin, I ordered mine online from Chemist Direct I think, it's not called baby aspirin, it's low dose. I got an email asking why I was buying so much (100) and just replied that it was for infertility as discussed with mumsnet my doctor. I too am shocked we're at the end of another thread, at least ladygee has done us proud with a hard won BFP.

Bunny so sorry you are out this cycle after being messed around so much. Do you know you ovulated at the normal time? I've only been speed reading lately so may have missed some of the details. I know stress can certainly mess around with the ovulation, not so sure it would delay the arrival of AF though? Anyway I hope it's not too painful, is appropriate right now? Hugs to you.

More medals from the Hobbles today - GOLD . I really am obsessed with the 'lympics.

Princess I applaud all your efforts, you know what the A Team would say: I love it when a plan comes together. I'm really glad you've booked to see a different acupuncturist too - its good you haven't let one crazy lady put you off.

Bunny sorry for the mentalling over whether this was your month - it makes things so hard to deal with - if only there was a better system of our bodies telling us when things have worked or not!

Nelly hope you have a lovely birthday tomorrow, and hope the appointment goes ok - let us know what they say. And I agree, co-incidental timing is surely a sign of a baby for a birthday present. And I loved the window-sill story and the going out story.

Teuchter sorry for the mentalling, can sympathise. Its so tough this. Fluttering feelings sound good though, is that post ov?

Euro I'm impressed your system seems to have bounced back after a month, fingers crossed this is the case. Am sure your system will have renewed vigour now that the drugs have gone!

MissMedusa you're a girl after my own heart with the less than perfect intentions. I find if I let myself 'cheat' regularly then I maintain reasonable healthiness, its when I push myself to cut it all out that I then go mental for the bad stuff. Zita says to cut out all caffeine during an IVF cycle, but I'm just a bit like ffs this time, its only a bloody cup of tea! And yay for the return of kitty.

Joycep I have to say I'm a bit bowled over you managed a girly weekend where they put a fertility Buddha by your bed. That you took this for what it was which is very nice friends trying to be nice to you is quite amazing, good for you (checks self for being very prickly). I know what you mean about the lost optimism, I heard a friend say something similar and it just emphasised the gulf in experience that has now opened up. I sometimes think that this is a very grown up experience, and I think I will be a better friend to someone else going through a really tough time (no matter what it was) because of what I've been through, does that make sense?

And Joy and Sarlat oh yes to the moodiness. I used to be the life and soul of a night out. I now struggle to raise a smile to even people on check outs at supermarkets who try to chat to me. Its like I can't waste the energy as I need it all! Not good.

Sarlat thanks for the positivity. Will try. Well, at least trying to avoid negativity as much as possible. And am basically doing as little as possible for the next week. I know it won't affect my chances but I just feel a bit brain dead from it all and too exhausted to do anything much.

Artemis welcome back. Holiday sounds fab. Oh a normal bit of life and break from ttc does sound appealing!. damn the stupid nhs - trying to get appointments like this is just pulling teeth in my opinion, no idea why its so hard. the difference i've seen since going to private clinics is so huge i'd say go for it if you can afford it. Is there evidence for you needing an hsg i can't remember? I had one and the doc on the day said one tube closed, then i went back for a review and they said, no both open. . And thanks for the vote of confidence re putting 2 back.

Pout sounds like you hit the right time, I'm not convinced the trigger does anything other than control the timing, I'm sure your ripe ones would have popped out by themselves. Fingers crossed for you.

waves Frannie, Lemon and Rabbit anyone else i missed. Great news Ladygee may you be the start of a bfp rush.

Thanks for the hugs Nelly and yes stress can make you AF late. A bout of grief knocked mine for 6 months and divorce made it hide for a year! They came back as regular as clockwork when I met OH, how odd. I ovulated day 17 which is fairly normal for me. Usually 15 to 17. So everything else normal.
I am investing in Pinebark after looking at the research we will both be taking it, will let you know what sucess we have if any lol.
I am refusing to give up, if a cons can't say what's wrong and just say we need IVF then there is no evidence that we can't fall naturally ( other than 18 months of really trying, positive opks and fun times, low sperm motility, one tube and endo) sigh people have done it with less!

Just a flying visit to say happy birthday Nelly! Hope the appointment goes well and that you then have a chance to celebrate!

Happy birthday Nelly and . Shame there isn't an emoticon with a party hat and a champagne flute. FX for the appointment and then get thee some tasty posh booze

Morning waves to everyone else :)

Me too frannie - happy birthday nelly and good luck today. Welcome back artemis good to 'see' you. Booking that damn test is such a nightmare and I blame my experience, in part, for a sharp dip in my ability to deal with the testing process. Keep strong.

bunny it is crap how we can't get excited by a late period but do anyway in a weird twisted kind of a way. In answer your question, a way to fix the internet has not been provided yet, let alone an attempt at actually doing it.

princess how sweet your concern over my location. It's fine really, we both work directly with conflict related stuff so it's all normal. While we move closer to the action sometimes for work, our actual spot for living and sleeping is much improved in the last years as we have Little Doll with us. It's all relative too: Mogadishu anyone?

missm and care on diet: I know I'm repeating myself but i find "80% is perfection" really helpful.

So, I'm having a mental pants over IVF, yeh that thing that is not for me, that I'm not going to do etc. I'll come back to explain and look for a hand hold later.

Ok, I'm a bad person and maybe a bit of a chicken. I told the Stork that I did a positive pregnancy test yesterday to get out of the appointment... But that's ok isn't it? Just a little creativity with the proverbial different coloured pen?!

princess in my opinion you can say whatever you want to the Stork. x

Thanks everyone. I guess anyone who thinks they know me in RL has just had it confirmed, but hey Ho .

akuaba this sounds interesting. My hand is out there ready for you to cling on to whenever you need it.

princess different coloured pens are all good . Though in the spirit of openness I should say karma hasnt managed to get the test results to me, unless they arrive in today's post. Sigh.

Busy today but will try to catch up later. Kitty is still with us, she's now got a name, and a bed in the woodshed. Way too scared to come any closer to the house, but will curl up for a sleep on your lap if you are in her safety zone.

Happy Birthday Nelly

doll agreed. 80/20 rule sounds like a healthy way to live. Sorry about mentaling, I'll be checking in regularly to read your post. Sounds like you have come to some hard conclusions.

princess I think I'll follow your lead with the grapefruit (I love it too). We had already decided to have an official vacation cocktail (with alcohol though because, well, it's a vacation). I was going for The Blue Whale (blue caracao + vodka + lime) as we're planning on seeing whales when we go to the coast but I'm thinking of changing that for a greyhound now (grapefruit + vodka). Now I can say we're drinking cocktails for TTC. Thanks!

ooops nelly obviously not your RL, but your MN birthday. we do have those right? 2 birthdays like the Queen (but we get to choose, when including year of birth).

Ok, it starts off like this. At small greeting new baby party. Another case of being a mother of one toddler so in a social world with the new number twos. Part of my life, fine. Conversation while friend feeding the newborn includes the phrase "I really believe the children come when they are ready and the time is right" or words to that affect. Ok, first, grrrrrr, obviously. We have all heard this sentiment many times and I don't generally think about it beyond controlling poking eyes out.

So the mentalling goes like this...whether this sentiment includes those of us that have to 'work at', 'seek out' 'plan' our families is kind of beside the point (but when I get the chance I'm going to pose the question to this same person because I would be interested to know that is organised in her head). We know that it's likely only our own efforts that get us there .i.e. our choices that aid the possiblity of a baby. I have a son because we organised ourselves and educated ourselves in a way to make that happen. Over the next year we live in a place that makes us repeating that process and using what we learnt impossible. It's also a place where IVF is both possible and affordable.

I did want to adopt and still do. I don't want to do IVF and I never did. But who does? What makes my objection more pertinent than the next women's? Should I not look at this more in terms of an option open to me rather than something that is somehow only for other people?

So that's where I'm at. Just trying to work things through in my head....

Happy official birthday Nelly Hope the appt goes well.

Princess like your response to the stork! Who knows, maybe it's a premonition Love the rock 'n' roll TTC plan. Surely can't fail.

Bunny AF 5 days late is just cruelty but I like your positive thinking - you are right - people have done it with less. I was thinking the other day, surely our bodies want us to get pregnant? It's what they are designed for, although it doesn't feel like it. And the sole purpose of those sperm is to find an egg. Nature should be rooting for us. As you say, there is no evidence you can't fall naturally. Another month, another chance...

Care I have requested the HSG because I am 'unexplained' and everything else is normal. 5 months of clomid haven't got me pregnant and I can't understand why they don't want to test my tubes so i am trying to make them... 'trying' being the operative word here.

MissM I like your thinking about grapefruit cocktails. We had cocktails virtually every day on hols Clearly looked like a pair of lushes, but I am back on the healthy living wagon now clinging on by my toenails I like the '80% is perfection' idea. On a good day I might just manage that.

Akuaba I feel your dilemma. If you decide against IVF will the option of adopting be open to you again in future? At what point does the door slam? Choosing between two things you don't want is the hardest. I don't want to have IVF either. I agree - who does? But I don't want to be childless. I can't seem to manage the not-being-childless thing in the normal, natural way like every fecker else seems to, so IVF is becoming the only choice open. It's an option available to me, so it needs to be considered, however reluctantly. I personally don't want to adopt, though if the system here were less arduous and there was a possibility of us adopting a baby rather than an older child I might feel differently. I have realised that whatever I do it needs to be a conscious choice as that's the only thing within my control at the moment.

I don't imagine that helps your dilemma at all but I think several of us on here are in a similar place, albeit in very different circumstances.

Waves to everyone else. Why is it that after just one day back at work post-holiday it feels like you've never been away?

Eek. Sorry Nelly. x

artemis cocktails virtually every day on holiday. Well I should bloody think so. Thanks for taking the time to reply to my mental. The only real door slamming in my case is with assisted conception. Having missed the boat age-wise anyway it's just a case of do I give it a shot because it's possible here before we move in a year. My hope is our move will put us in a country where we can do an in-country adoption, but there are many factors there so can't say for sure. So the way I'm trying to get my head around the IVF idea is perhaps I should just see it as a blip, one shot just in case. It doesn't feel right but is just goes back to the same thing. Who wants it really? Oh and the expression is child-free not childless

Doll if you had to weigh up how much you feel the urge to have a child biologically compared to the urge to have another child right now, what would you say?

Oh interesting question care I want another child primarily. I would like the experience of having a biological child very much but it's the child that I want. If I could be in an adoption process now I would be.

Akuaba I take your point. Some days I feel child free and unencumbered. Other days, well, it's the other thing . Because I am geriatric too our assisted conception door is only open by a tiny crack. The other factor in the mix (as for many of us) is whether/how much to pay for a procedure that is more than likely not going to work. But then you have to be in it to win it, as they say. Do you know how long it would be before adoption becomes a realistic prospect for you?

Mr A went back to work yesterday. He has one friend at work who knows what's going on (or not going on) in our struggle to win a baybee. Said friend didn't even ask about the holiday, but did say 'So have you got Artemis up the duff yet?'. Honestly. Some people are just twats

Artemis indeed some people are indeed twats. My deal looks like relocate in a year, hopefully to a country with a viable, current in-country adoption possiblity, start process as soon as we figure it out. I hear you on the IVF money issue too. I'm of the opinion that we should pay on delivery (of a baby preferably but a BFP would do).