No Symptoms, No Google, No sticks

[KickingUpQuestions]

Due to overwhelming monthly disappointments, a few of us have decided to go the traditional route.

Coupled with that, we know that one CAN'T have pregnancy symptoms unless one is ACTUALLY pregnant and that only actually happens after implantation. Which is normally about 10DPO then it takes a couple days to show up in the urine etc etc so pregnancy symptoms can only really be felt at about 13DPO.

The purpose of this thread is three fold:

• Support in TTC (mostly for first-timers)
• No symptom spotting allowed AT ALL
• Trying to exclude sticks (but we know that sometimes they're necessary)

So this will be practical application of theories and science.

We pledge to be honest and open and practical.
We pledge to give utmost support to each other in our struggle TTC
And we pledge to not give false hope or support symptom spotting until well after 13DPO

I do believe that your body will give you what you want when you need it.

My body has been really good to me and I think I've been good to it, so I think it kind of liaises with my mind and between them, they are looking after me

Or punishing me

Either one

Kicking i thought you were older than me! Not sure why, maybe because you're so knowledgeable and sensible (in a good way!)

We haven't told anyone we're trying....my family are the nosy type, and all I'd get is "are you up the duff yet?" every time I saw them which would drive me nuts, so I'd rather leave them guessing!

Hi queen :) hurrah for ditching to OPKs and just getting on with dtd!

:o at people who should have had their ovaries removed at birth - I definitely know a couple of those....including one who even now still complains about how horrific pregnancy is (i know for a fact she didn't have it that bad), and how disruptive to her social life having a child is. And I know one person who I suspect fell pregnant to trap her partner. Grrrrrr.

lastbox that must have been awful for you, you poor thing :(:(

I seem to approach life like I approach my job - just research it and the answers will be there and then you can magically fix anything.

I had a bit of a mental freak out last month to be honest. So now my family properly know we're trying. Well - my brother does. Strange that suddenly when you're trying for a baby, it becomes ok to discuss sex with your older brother.

And in large scale. With your DH, brother, SIL, BIL - all in the room putting in their two pence.

About sex

Lastbox - I get made when I see morbidly obese people up the duff! I know I shouldn't but I'm like mehh

Defo know a mentalist who I believe trapped her now ex into being a father poor bloke!

Is red about? :(

Oooh yes! I feel the same about morbidly obese people. And then you read those "why on earth am I not pregnant?" things online and they say "are you overweight?" and I want to punch the monitor.

I was trying to be PC about it, but EXACTLY. I just wonder how are their hormones working and mine aren't?

Did you guys see 24 hrs in A&E on Wednesday night? We live right near Kings so i'm always interested! There was a woman who had three children but had had 8 mc'd :( I felt so bad for her. Can you imagine 8?? I probably would've given up by then

How long have you been on the pill lastbox? Or any contraception? At the risk at being yelled at, they probably don't go on contraception. Being morbidly obese IS their contraception.

Also remember that our hormones vary according to stress levels, age of starting puberty, bits and bobs that happen with our bodies for the fun of it...

I guess morbidly obese people need to fall pregnant quickly because they probably don't get laid much

Kicking

I was on the pill from about age 22 until we started ttc#1. So about 9 years, I think. Fell first cycle off the bcp. But didn't go back on after DS was born. He's nearly three, so hormones have had plenty of time to "normalize"

can I be really naughty and break all the rules of this thread? I'm 10dpo with no spotting...had a little splodge around 7dpo but nothing since...I know, I know, you can't read anything into it. But my LP is 11days at best with a few days of spotting before. The only other times I haven't had spotting was when I was pg... I have a test...if things continue like this, I might just pee on it on Sunday....

Sorry for the breach of contract.

Oh yeh crumbs your body should be back to normal then!

We are ok to discuss things that we know are kind of proven. We know that you can spot during OV and about 25% of women spot / feel implantation.

But honestly, just remember the variety of things that go on in your body for years that you don't notice. I swore blind (still do) that last month I had OV cramps and spotting, then had cramps and spotting the day before AF was due so just jumped on the implantation bandwagon.

The truth is that it could be neither! It could be something that your body just does. You could be one of the 75% of women who don't experience implantation... :)

So try not to give it too much focus until you miss your AF. There are no symptoms between now and AF that will indicate pregnancy. You need to implant for there to be symptoms and that will only happen around AF. If you get "pregnancy" symptoms, it means there are hormone in your body. If there are hormones, you could test positive at that point.

:)

I need to do this for my own sake as well. Otherwise, I will be a mess in the next 2 weeks and I don't want that

Lol @ kicking! That's it it has to be! I guess I just think when you do everything you can to be healthy and create a good 'environment' for conception to take place in what's the point when others clearly live on a diet of lard and still get it!

I know it's annoying. I try to tell myself that our bodies have a choice when to fall pregnant because we treat them well. Obese people don't have a choice and the chances of a healthy, easy pregnancy is so low that their bodies don't give a toss.

I succumbed to SS yesterday and POAS.
BFN

AF not shown up yet but I'm going to hang around for a bit

I love this thread.

Wow, I'd hate to be the person who struggles with subfertility and weight problems who goes looking for support in ttc and happens instead across the ignorant, cruel, juvenile comments on this thread.

Ah well, 'they' (the obese - they're all alike, you know) don't get laid much and don't deserve to have babies; it's not like they're real people. Probably don't have feelings either, so carry on.

Good luck conceiving.

Of course, completely unreasonable to have an opinion that ppl should get down to a healthy weight before having a baby considering the amount of pressure it will put on a woman's body and put the child and mother at risk of diabetes and various other weight related problems %23justsayin

Due to stress several years ago my weight plummeted to under 7 stone, I had endless comments from friends and strangers 'bag of bones, skinny minny, you need a good dinner luv, get some meat on you' all of which I found greatly insulting yet this always ok, comment that an overweight person needs to lose weight and be healthy for their offspring and your the scum of the earth... Works both ways.

Totally agree Pinkie

We had a mate with stomach cancer and the AMOUNT Of people who commented on how thin she was. She used to just cry her eyes out. It was terrible.

Why is it ok to go on and on and on about thinner people who actually HAVE diseases? As opposed to "people who sweat in even winter" who just can't stop eating pies?

Disclaimer: I am not thin. I am not obese. I could stand to lose a pound or two and I enjoy my food. But I am not a salad dodger. And "fat" is not a disease.

Ricky Gervais said so

"And "fat" is not a disease."

Well exactly. There is a huge difference between people who have genuine, medical "weight problems", and people who simply disregard the concept of healthy living, on behalf of both themselves and their potential/unborn baby.

Those people don't have "weight problems". They eat too much. There's nothing ignorant about saying that.

Did anyone see the 63 stone teenager that had to be craned out of her house?? I suppose the pc brigade will claim glandular issues etc yet gorging on 13000 calories a day proves otherwise.

Like kicking I'm not skinny I'm 6lbs over my ideal weight which I'm working on by cutting out cake etc i rarely drink an eat a healthy balanced diet 95% of the time but will indulge in the odd takeaway occasionally. It's always fine to poke fun at ppl who are too skinny something which had always baffled me

So, you recognise how comments about a person being too thin would be hurtful, and that's terrible, but you take no responsibility for how your own vile comments about weight and size might make another person feel if s/he were to happen on this thread looking for support around ttc. How lovely of you.

How exactly does "nobody cares when thin people are insulted" make it okay for you to be cruel toward obese people?

Please don't try to make it sound like the ugliness of your posts was about concern over the potential for complications in pregnancy and childbirth. What does that have to do with 'they don't get laid often'?

I'll leave you to vent your bitterness by dehumanizing people you don't even know "support each other".

I think the point is getting a bit lost here.....I'm sorry if you feel offended by the opinions expressed here, BUT:

I really DON'T think it's unreasonable for person X, who has spent months or even years TTC a much wanted baby, living healthily, doing everything you're supposed to do to aid conception.....to feel put out - even slightly embittered - by person Y who is the complete antithesis of all of this, yet manages to get pg at the first drop of their knickers.

The point made wasn't "fat people shouldn't be allowed to have babies", it was "isn't it unfair when people who don't put the effort in, seem to fall pregnant so easily"

I think your taking it the completely wrong way onehand - kitten has said it perfectly no-one ever said fat ppl shouldn't be allowed babies and your right I'm not concerned about their health risks if I'm honest I'm more confused why their not and put their presumably much wanted baby at risk?

I actually find myself reassured that people who haven't put as much effort in as me get pregnant. Makes it feel like I'm not to blame and go easier on myself for "failing". One of my main downfalls when it comes to being envious (and maybe a little bitter) is that I work too much so don't have as much opportunity to JS as someone who is unemployed.

I also get bitter that people who don't care what they eat, drink like fish, smoke and are on whatever side of the unhealthy scale and they fall pregnant quickly.

That doesn't reassure me.

Besides, if you don't like the salad bowl / chocolate mud festival - stay out of the bowl...or the erm...festival.

I don't feel personally offended, kitten. I'm not obese and am ttc my second child after having a fairly straightforward time with dd. So I'm not particularly vulnerable in either area. But some of those comments are just awful and I, like anyone with a modicum of compassion, can imagine how they'd feel to someone who was vulnerable in that way.

You're right that it is not unreasonable for anyone who has had a difficult time ttc to feel embittered by seeing it happen easily for others whom they perceive as not having put the effort in.

It's one thing to say "I find it hard not to feel angry when I am trying to do everything right and it's not happening, and then I see other people who don't seem to look after themselves at all, and they're having babies."

It is a very different thing to say "I guess morbidly obese people need to fall pregnant quickly because they probably don't get laid much."

I don't think I'm taking that comment "the wrong way" Pinkie. It is a horrid thing to say.

And one last thing before we jump out of the salad bowl or the festival but "fat" people are the first to mention "thinness" of others.

Thin people don't wake up to me and say "wow you've put on weight"

So fat people need to man up a bit.

Since thin people already have

You clearly have a bit of an issue with that homogenous group called "fat people" who don't get laid much and always go around insulting thin people and need to "man up". Like all the thin people have .

What a strange and toxic attitude.