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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

No Symptoms, No Google, No sticks

323 replies

KickingUpQuestions · 23/05/2012 10:50

Due to overwhelming monthly disappointments, a few of us have decided to go the traditional route.

Coupled with that, we know that one CAN'T have pregnancy symptoms unless one is ACTUALLY pregnant and that only actually happens after implantation. Which is normally about 10DPO then it takes a couple days to show up in the urine etc etc so pregnancy symptoms can only really be felt at about 13DPO.

The purpose of this thread is three fold:

  • Support in TTC (mostly for first-timers)
  • No symptom spotting allowed AT ALL
  • Trying to exclude sticks (but we know that sometimes they're necessary)

So this will be practical application of theories and science.

We pledge to be honest and open and practical.
We pledge to give utmost support to each other in our struggle TTC
And we pledge to not give false hope or support symptom spotting until well after 13DPO

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Original poster
KickingUpQuestions · 29/05/2012 17:54

I haven't planned the spare room. We only have a one bed flat that will be upgraded when i am pg

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Pinkie29 · 29/05/2012 18:24

I've not thought any further than prams we want to buy so likely we'll move when this tenancy is up tho it's a big 3 bed house so could put it off a little if I'm (hopefully) heavily pg Grin oh and we decided that an old fashioned silvercross isn't ideal for most shops etc but could be nice for afternoon strolls... I could see me being that annoying mummy with 5 prams/buggies!

I wish my dp would buy something like that!

Original poster
KickingUpQuestions · 29/05/2012 19:10

I think we have been trying for so long that the little planning things makes it feel real. Like it may happen

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Pinkie29 · 29/05/2012 19:26

Yeah that's a fair point, we've been at it 5 months/4th cycle which I know is nothing compared to some couples (doesn't make it go any quicker tho)

Original poster
KickingUpQuestions · 29/05/2012 19:36

We started planning and preparing a year ago now. One chemical pg and last month 4 days late - we started looking at things in December when i was 10 days late.

Last month we excitedly looked at things as well...

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QueenOfTheDrama · 29/05/2012 19:51

Theres nothing wrong with looking at things and doing a little planning, we have to do fun stuff as part of ttc, its all part of the excitement.

I have a names shortlist too Smile

I love looking at those lists online of baby basics and essentials and thinking about all the stuff I'll need to buy Blush In reality though it is only looking, I don't think I'd actually start buying stuff till 20 weeks or so.

Pinkie29 · 29/05/2012 21:58

I'm with you queen I don't think I'd buy until fairly late on

Original poster
KickingUpQuestions · 30/05/2012 09:02

My one mate had her nursery done by 18 weeks.

I would buy early on. The idea that I'm not very fertile gets stronger every week so the MINUTE it's proven to me that I can have a baby, I don't care what people think. I would rush out and buy a sash and proclaim it to the world (after 3 months)...

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Pinkie29 · 30/05/2012 09:31

I just worry too much that something would go wrong :/ daft I know and I've really no reason to but just find it odd that at 30 I've never ever been pg and occasionally haven't always been as careful as I should have Confused

Pretty much every woman I know has either had a miscarriage or ended a pregnancy at some point

Original poster
KickingUpQuestions · 30/05/2012 09:38

Pinkie - I feel exactly the same! I'm 30 and I've been really careful and stuff but I've never had a hint of a pregnancy. And my mates have been the same - they either have kids or have been pg and terminated it or something.

But when I fall pregnant, it will make me feel a bit more relaxed as in like...at least I can fall pregnant.

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Kittenkatzen · 30/05/2012 09:45

yes pinkie i feel the same as you....there's no real reason to be worried but at the same time you just can't help it Confused

I do think that can be a downside of forums like this actually. Because the MN population is made up of women of childbearing age/with child bearing experience (for the most part), there are SO many sad stories to read of miscarriages, stillbirths etc. that it really can seem that those things happen much more frequently than than actually do.

Original poster
KickingUpQuestions · 30/05/2012 09:48

And we wouldn't all be here if we didn't have trouble conceiving or if we were all fine with pregnancies.

I think this is the refuge for those who need encouragement...

So it does seem like it happens a lot. I've know of two people in my real world who went for 3 month scans and the baby wasn't breathing. The one is doing IVF and the other fell pregnant three months later and now has two healthy young'uns

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Original poster
KickingUpQuestions · 30/05/2012 09:49

Sorry - I meant that it feels like it happens a lot more ON HERE.

In that - in all my years, I've had one mate who had a scan when the foetus stopped breathing and another friend of a friend. SO it's not as common in my world...

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Pinkie29 · 30/05/2012 10:30

True I only know of one (friend of a friend) who had her first scan and couldn't find a heartbeat and a relative sadly had a stillborn at 6 months Sad kitten I guess we just have to look at all our friends and family who have happy healthy families and remember it does have a happy ending (I just want it now!!) dp said to me other day 'you realise once your pg you have about 8 1/2 months to wait can't drink etc' oh boy!!

I think mc is fairly common but obv we read much more about it on here, agree kicking it will be a relief to know we can get pg Smile dp has seen the doc to get his swimmers checked (naughty boy told a little porkie pie to speed things up!)

Original poster
KickingUpQuestions · 30/05/2012 10:35

I am still not fancying wine or beer and my DH is being very good at keeping me away from the booze aisle. He doesn't drink so it's not that hard.

It will be longer than 8 months if you breastfeed!! My SIL had the odd glass of wine - if you fancy it once or twice a week, I don't see why you can't have a small glass.

Planning a nice cycle down to Windsor on Saturday morning... Time in the saddle!

What did your DP tell the doctor to get his swimmers checked?

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Pinkie29 · 30/05/2012 11:41

I'm not a big drink either probably once or twice a month I'll have a tipple!

Dp basically went along said we'd been trying over a year but also added that a few years back he tried with an ex for 6 months or so and nothing happened but didn't read into it much as they'd separated.

Doc referred him to our local hospital to I assume wank in a pot! Just waiting on the letter Smile

Original poster
KickingUpQuestions · 30/05/2012 11:45

Good of him to do that though. Have you been trying for over a year?

Mine will go eventually I assume - 2 - 3 months left of this malarky then will look at doctors help.

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Pinkie29 · 30/05/2012 12:55

Nope... We've been trying since jan in cycle 4 (thanks long cycle!) but think he was a bit concerned as he's never had a pg scare either and it was really getting me down making my anxiety worse Sad

I also ticked most boxes for pcos so that's why I had a scan last month and they found the small fibroid

Original poster
KickingUpQuestions · 30/05/2012 13:56

Its funny isn't it how we stress about getting pregnant simply because we've been smart about it and been cautious!

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Original poster
KickingUpQuestions · 30/05/2012 14:27

I get quite stressed in the symptoms threads...

I have done too much research into this. I know too much now. Which means that I know it's mostly all about luck...

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Pinkie29 · 30/05/2012 14:45

Lol yeah if we'd been flippant about contraception maybe we wouldn't be here!

Original poster
KickingUpQuestions · 30/05/2012 14:46

We'd also probably be with like...6 children and out of work, smoking a million fags a day and supping on vodka through a straw

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Kittenkatzen · 30/05/2012 16:01

That is lovely of your OH pinkie....hopefully you'll be able to cross that straight off your "things to worry about" list as soon as the results come back.

Are either of you the research-y type in general or is it just TTC? So far I've resisted the urge to go into too much depth myself as I really don't want to get obsessed to the point of distraction...plus I really like being able to come here and compare notes with you all and learn new things that way.

Original poster
KickingUpQuestions · 30/05/2012 16:03

I am the research-y type. I do a lot of research and analysis for my job and I really just enjoy it. I get obsessed about subjects though - simply because I like being able to have all the facts in front of me.

It's just who I am. And it's blimming annoying!

You?

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QueenOfTheDrama · 30/05/2012 17:06

I don't feel like I have to do much research as almost all the in-depth stuff I know about conception I learnt from MN! Grin

While we're on the subject of mc etc being so common on MN, don't forget that the ladies on here are also ones that test early etc, so may get a bfp followed by 'af' ie a mc. But if everyone left their testing until they were late then they wouldn't even have known about the pregnancy and would just assume that af was arriving as normal? One of the downsides to all the sensitive tests on the market I guess.