TTC first baby

[cwtching]

Hello all! DH and I are TTC our first baby, I'm 31, he's 32. We've only been trying for a month so it is extremely early days but I'm so excited at the prospect.

DH may have some fertility issues (picked up on a scan) but I was pretty convinced it was going to be a BFP straight away as I had so many symptoms - but that shows how much I know!

Is anyone else TTC their first baby? Please join and keep me company!!

Ha ha, thanks Newbie!

Morning all....pinkie so glad you're feeling a bit calmer. Cat believe the midwife never called you back though, that's terrible . Lovely of frilly to provide some reassurance though

Well we had a bit of bad news yesterday which is going to set our TTC plans back a bit .

To cut a (very) long story short, we have been expecting an amount of money from DHs last job to arrive any day now, money that was earmarked as my "maternity pay". Unfortunately because they're a bunch of complete arseholes, DHs money is now locked up again.

DH is currently in the process of starting his own business but, as our plan is for me to give up work for at least a year, we now have to wait until that is producing a reliable income really to avoid putting unnecessary pressure on him. My work offer statutory mp only until after 3yrs (have only been there 1yr) and we don't want to end up in a situation where I'm forced back to work after 6 wks for financial reasons.

So that's it really. It's the sensible thing to do, and DH is gutted as well. It should only be a few months delay and it's not the end of the world, but I'm just so for us and that his ex employer can do this. Sigh.

Anyway, we agreed last night that I won't be going back in the pill, and we'll just use withdrawal/whatever while we wait. So a happy accident isn't completely off the cards, and I'll continue tracking my cycles, but I guess I'm off the testing lists for a bit .

I'd like to continue chatting with you ladies, as long as you don't mind a having a semi-TTC-imposter around for a while?

Oops, sorry for the epic post

Oh no, Kitten, that's really shit :-(

You have to stay and chat with us...maybe you'll get the happy accident.

Is it something DH can sue them for?

(Hugs)

Awww Kitten :( Sorry to hear your news but it sounds like you're making sensible choices. All good prep for parenting skills :) While you're waiting make good use of the time by tracking and getting to know your body oh and popping those lovely brown coloured pills! Don't you dare leave the thread, you girls are hillarious and this thread has become my addictive guilty pleasure!!

That really sucks kitten
You must stick around here....and an accident will be a lovely surprise :)

I think you are being very sensible and doing the right thing. When the baby would arrive you would want to enjoy the moments and not stress out about the financial situation. And like you said its a few more months.

It is difficult when you have to put ttc on hold but you can come on here and talk to us - big hug x

Agree with nicola - is suing an option?

I hate to throw a scanner in but we were the same . Thinking we would "control' it .

We wanted to plan so much but in reality for us Italy taken us over a year of unprotected sex.

On top of that, once you are pregnant you have another 9 months to get sorted

We live in a tiny one bed flat and will move into something bigger when i am pregnant .

I guess my main point here is to really satisfy yourselves that yes, you have a 20% chance of falling pregnant the next cycle. But it could also take a year...

Just saying . We tried to concentrate on being pg next cycle and we have had to stop thinking like that because you don't know when it will happen :)

Aww kitten sorry to hear your news as the others say tho it could end up vein a happy accident, ironically we didn't put a huge effort in this month as I just wanted to get a shorter cycle in place even said this to dp and tadaa!

I defo feel better about things today rang surgery first thing and had a they said I'd get a call today (here's hoping) our surgery has been pretty rubbish on customer service lately!

Thanks so much for the support girls, I do appreciate it. nicola/red I would LOVE to be able to sue/strangle/punch them, but unfortunately (for us) what they've done is completely legal and above board, just completely disrespectful to all of their staff and a massive PITA for us

kicking I do know what you mean, and we actually did have that conversation between ourselves last night. The thing is, DH has put SO much into building his business and he's so close to launching that I really feel that needs to be his priority right now. I know it could take a year or more, but if it did happen next month, it would mean he'd have to be sure the business would be bringing in enough to support us both (plus a baby) within 9 months.....or abandon the business he's worked so hard on and go back to the City for garuanteed income :(

It's shitty, but that's life I guess. I'd rather wait a few months than spend 9 months worrying.

Complain Pinks. It took me ages to get through to our doctors surgery and when I did, I got grunts and "I can't answer that" so I hopped onto the internet, found their surgery address and said they should hire more people if you need to ring for 30 mins consecutively to get someone to answer the phone.

I am a moaner ;)

So weirdly, I took an anti allergy pill last night and I slept all night! Apart from being woken up constantly by both my legs and feet constantly cramping. Still going for blood tests but wondering if it hasn't just been a very severe allergic reaction?

Ah kitten - we will be in much the same situation soon. We're starting up our own company as well. Just fortunate that I am going to do all the leg work and DH does the bits he does in the evening or over the weekend. His salary is the one we need. I resign in a couple weeks to really get the paperwork in order and do all the pretty strategic thinking. He can keep his job for as long as we need him to.

It's a rubbishy situation and I'm sorry it's hit you like this :(

Would you stick about?

Kicking should you be taking anti allergy pills when TTC? I was told not to

I agree with kicking! You shouldn't put your plans ttc on hold as you don't know how long it's going to take and then you do get pg you still got 9 months to go through. We were waiting till we sell our flat and buy a house before we start ttc as we didn't want the pressure of me being pg and not being able to do any DIY on our new house! but last month we decided that we will try anyway as we don't know how long is going to take! (even I believed that I will get pg straight away-I'm a little believer-that's why we waited so long) and I didn't and now is another month and still nothing (well don't know yet). We almost in our new house and still no baby. so thumbs up and carry on the good work of ttc! Bfp's for all of us this month!

I think my post came a bit late. Kitten you should really do what is best for you! But def stick around.

Newbie - why not? Do you think that pills digest in the fallopian tube and will kill the sperm?

I have 6 weeks after any kind of conception to stop taking pills or drinking alcohol or snorting seaweed.

I do not stop any part of my life when I am having sex.

Sorry about the change of plans kitten. Hope you aren't too disappointed.

I do agree that you shouldn't hold off TTC on the hopes it will happen in a set number of cycles time, but you do have to plan for it to possibly happen straight away as well. If someone started tomorrow thinking it might happen in a years time but it happened straight away and they weren't ready that would be bad as well. It's a balance to give yourself that time for it to do it at it's own pace.

Pinkie you need a new doctors! You don't want to be dealing with this for 9 mnths!

That sounds exciting kicking! I'd love to be more involved in DH's business, but it's waaaay to techie for me! I'm helping out with administrative bits as and when I can but that's about all I can contribute for now. The really frustrating thing is my work's crappy MP policy. Nothing we can do about that though.

And yes, I'll be sticking around, tracking my cycles and rooting for you all to get your BFPs :):)

Will try and console myself with the fact that I've just applied for tickets to see Muse in October and that's definitely not a pg friendly concert :o

That's weird about the antihistamine....I can't think of an allergy that would produce those symptoms for such a long time, but I guess you never know? Shame about the cramps waking you up though - if it's not one thing it's another you poor thing!

Yeh I guess I am a bit lucky in that my job is kind of now about analysing and stuff the online market and the company needs to be sold to SME's online really.

Yeh I thought maybe hayfever?

I am still heading to the docs for blood tests and will ask about the anti allergy later. My nose has just started to bung up again and is full of blood when I blow but when I woke up earlier, it was clear.

The cramps are more than likely from drinking so much and flushing the electrolytes out my system. Bit of sports drink and I should be fine. My mouth still feels a bit better though... Strange?

GOOD I am glad you're sticking around. It wouldn't be fun without you

:o at snorting seaweed

thanks popinda and dulcet.....don't worry this isn't a cancellation of plans, just a temporary postponement! We just don't want a pregnancy to be the reason DH has to abandon the business and go back to the City (which he hated, but it pays well). Once we know it's going to work (should know within 2-3 months tbh) then normal....ahem....service, will be resumed :)

Morning all, day 48 for me and still nothing!!! Yawn..,

Sorry to hear your news Kitten that is very frustrating. Excuse my ignorance but I thought you were legally entitled to SMP after 26 weeks continuous employment. I thought that employers could only impose restrictions if they were enhancing maternity pay. I am probably completely wrong about this however but it might be worth looking into?!

Hope everyone else is having a fun Friday.

Fingers crossed you get you phone call today Pinkie.

xx

Kicking - I am totally confused by your comment. Don't know why you're not meant to take allergy tablets. I was just told by my Dr not to take anti allergy tabs for hayfever, pets etc while TTC because you don't know when you're pregnant until you take a test.

Nope you are correct maclairey....it's just that SMP isn't enough to support us after the first 6 weeks - at least until we are sure DHs business will be bringing in enough to cover the shortfall. Sadly the enhanced package doesn't kick for another 2yrs.

It's just a "better safe than sorry" situation. Frustrating and upsetting, but can't be helped.

Oh I see that makes sense now Kitten. Well I hope your DH gets his business off the ground soon! I tend to agree with the others in the sense that I wouldn't give up trying completely. Haing read so many heartbreaking stories about it taking years for some people maybe it's worth not trying but not preventing? Fingers crossed for you whatever you decide.

Right...laying in bed and reading MN is not getting my washing done. Must. Get. Up.

I think your doctor is mad, personally.

I've been in unprotected sex for over a year now, TTC full time for 9 months. If I had to not take pills "in case I was pregnant", I would be in a very sad state of affairs

My doctor, on the other hand (in fact, even the pharmacist I saw yesterday), waved off my TTC efforts by saying "are you pregnant", I shrugged and said I was in limbo land and he bascially said that its not worth bothering with until you get that little strip on your pregnancy test.

I appreciate that you want to change whole lifestyle when all you're doing is upping your sex, but just be cautious when giving out information to other people who aren't in the know.

Even drinking alcohol has no bearing on your fertility. They are just trying to ensure that you're not drinking while pregnant. Drinking while TTC may have an effect on DH's sperm, but at fairly large doses. If he is sporty at the same time, he can almost counter balance the damage done. Unless it's cycling - at which case, if he is doing HUGE distances, it MAY slow the swimmers down, but every pro cyclist I know has kids so it's got to be taken with a pinch of salt.

Since I've been TTC for quite a while now, and whether I've been fit or not, active or not, healthy or not, in pain or not, immigrating or not, stressed or not, on vitamins or not, on EPO or not during that year, I can honestly say that me taking an antihistamine to stop me drinking 6L of water (which by itself has created cramps in my body because I've flushed out all my minerals) at night so that I can sleep for one night will NOT be looking down upon by any medical professional simply because I am only upping the number of times a week that I have sex. I do not have a baby inside me. I even have a foetus inside me. And even if I did, I have 6 weeks of having that feotus inside me before I need to really watch what I eat or drink or what I expose it to.

So please be cautious about trying to warn people off certain things. Even if your doctor told you that, it doesn't mean that my doctor would tell me the same. Your medical advice is personal to you. Not to me. :)

Sorry I'm just sharing what my doctor told me. I'm not advising anyone to do anything