After m/c - the [wine] and [shagging] thread

[FoofFighter]

Funthatisfunny, booboomonster, madeinchinababy - anyone else who's recently had a BFP sadly followed by a miscarriage - welcome [busmile]

Me - got a shock BFP on 5th March, had early scan at 9 weeks (after I talked to midwife about feeling something was wrong, lost symptoms) on Friday 6th April showing baby had died around 6-7 weeks. Our little Widget left me on Saturday 7th April thread here

I have been wonderfully supported here on Mumsnet but especially by the above people who are sadly going through the same thing right now or waiting to, very special people to be thinking of others at such a sad time for them and their partners.

Although the baby was unplanned and completely unexpected, we want to try. And time is against us as I am 39 in June. So here we are. I'm not sure if we'll wait a period of time or just see what happens but having had secondary infertilty with my now ex husband for 5+years I do NOT want to get het up on BBT, CM checking, OPKS.

So in talking with the lovely ladies we decided that other threads were quite well established and to start a new one based mostly on alcohol and sex

Anyone is welcome, just jump right in :)

Just found this link www.babyexpert.com/get-pregnant/conceiving/vitamins-boost-fertility-and-conception - so am going to carry on taking my Pregnacare and extra folic acid (BMI is 36) and extra Vit D (not prescribed, just taking as have been as near as dammit housebound for a year with a back problem so probably not a bad idea - plus other countries advise much higher doses than the UK does).

Well I poas and of course got a BFN. Only 7dpo what was I thinking. I will take your advice boo and hide them. No poas this weekend allowed.

Hi ice nice to see you, hope you are well.

hee what ARE you thinking?! you would never ever get a BFP at 7dpo :) put the sticks away now Don't test till 10dpo at the earliest, and only if you can stand it being an inconclusive BFN.

ug yes, every month is about ttc one. About ov'ing and planning swi (or not) and then 2ww... and everything else is part of ttc. Like this month, actual trying month, DH has plans to go and see his family and I panicked slightly thinking what if he wants to go during sex week?! He CAN'T! turns me all a bit pyscho. But then I think - but I want to create LIFE. Actual sentient LIFE so yes, it may take some planning and effort and perhaps be a bit more patient. Still though, I dread having to cope with another BFN.

Anyway talked to DH last night (well, tested the waters) and he is very into it this month so that is good.

aw poor boo! hope you get some sleep. I had some last night with DH and am very definitely bleary eyed this morning.

hope you are well ice.

Thanks wild :)

Oh Hee, (friendly slap, but we've all been there), the sticks are the devils work, they are my new gods, they tell me when to be happy and when to feel deflated and when to tell my OH to romance me!

Sounds like we're all in a simlar place re counting down the year. I saw the August BH week in my diary and that was going to be my last week at work but I was booking things in then and beyond then. What shit life can be at times.

Oh dear. I was feeling fine, really, having a fine day at work, then at the end of the day I met with my new manager and got caught out unawares and started crying, uncontrollably, I was so embarrrassed. My job has changed a lot, I was responsible for a large staff group and now I'm not responsible for anyone and the absence of feeling needed and appreciated suddenly caught me out, and I couldn't tell her that I'm partly happy for the changes as I want to be needed by my own LO. Oh dear. I haven't felt the need for a proper cry in about a month, not since all the mc tears dried up and no other sadness could compare. But I had to suck it all back in so that no one else noticed my tearfulness, and by the time I got home the tears were gone. I feel like welling up and they're gone. Sorry for the whine, I'll feel shit about that too in a little while! Thankfully OH is out tonight. What a lost time.

hugs for you one. we are all only human and life is really fucking confusing sometimes x

Aww one you don't need to apologise, we all have days where we feel down. I found myself pouring my heart our to a colleague in the toilets at work yesterday. I knew she had been there too but it was the first time I had seen her alone since it happened. I spent 20 minutes going on at her and felt a bit silly afterwards. She understood but I'm sure she had something she should have been getting on with.

Have some and . I have just had some nice cider and am feeling quite relaxed for once. Hope you have a nice weekend.

Aw one don't be sorry. Life sucks sometimes. You will be the best most appreciative mum ever when it happens!

hee I did tell you... glad you've hidden them now, it means nothing so try again in a few days time. Also, I've so been there with the colleague thing - but I think people find it complimentary when they are confided to. So don't feel silly, i'm sure she was glad to listen.

wild glad DH is on board!

I had a lovely bit of free time today and went for a run and a swim. It was raining when I left, but sunny on my way back which was lovely. Still knackered though - off to bed soon me thinks. Typically kids woke up late this morning now DH back... why do they do that?!

Hi boo, you did indeed tell me :) I will be taking your advice this weekend.

Well I have woken up with a weird tasting mouth, sore boobs and I feel sick. I am also spotting now :( If AF arrives today that is another 7 day luteal phase. Guess I'll have to go to the docs again :(

implantation bleed hee? oooh i love cider :)

lovely you had some nice time off boo, run and swim sounds grand!

am working out if I can do my 30 day shred dvd with my toddler. I just asked if we could turn thomas off to do exercises and he was not amused!

oh well, back to looking for accommodation in rome in my pj's then!

Oooh I wish :) It's not like the implantation bleeding I had last time unfortunately.

I think the symptoms have now gone

Is the 30 day shred as difficult as I keep reading? I'm tempted.

I am officially Moody. Have been tearful since that meeting yesterday, I think it's pmt, a fact that makes me even more volatile, also I woke up in the middle of the night unable to sleep so made sausage and chips and have had three meals so far today. I will try to keep myself to myself this week.will look up 30 day shred! Wishing you will power and a longer luteal phase Hee! I'm jealous of your industrious morning boo!

hee and one the 30 day shred is marvellous, am sore as anything and my super toned mega fit friend got in the shape she is in after doing 30 day shred and then onto harder dvds (then gym and pilates etc, she got addicted!). Am most impressed. Only 20 mins a pop instead, and no flinging yourself round the sitting room listening to davina/geri bla bla harp on.

oooh one. ooh. I am incredibly envious of your midnight sausages and chips. however, I am making DH take me out for tea (can only be called tea at 5.30pm) with DS so I can eat thai and japanese food. nom. though now I think I want sausages and chips!

Ooh good for you with shred wild let us know how you get on. I seem to find outdoor exercise easier to stick to and never really seem to get around to doing DVDs but I know other Mumsnetters seem to find it ace! I'd be quite tempted for after I have another baby though I don't want to tempt fate by actually writing that

hee is that AF symptoms gone or pg symptoms gone? It's not over til AF shows up, so there is hope... we are definitely due a BFP on the thread!

I can't remember where you are in cycle one but was thinking - midnight snacks... could be symptoms?

Me me me alert.... I am really fed up today because I input my temps this morning and it suddenly jumped to telling me I ovulated last thursday. I normally ov day 18 and this was day 11!!! I am really hoping it's wrong, as we swi on day 7 and day 12 so I would have missed it I think. ARRRGH. It's so annoying. I can't imagine why I would ov a week early after 4 months like clockwork on day 18. Anyway, I am not going to think about it, keep temping and swi ing and see what happens. I was going to start using the ov sticks tomorrow but now I don't think I'll waste them. What a hopeless effort. I also had a few drinks last night (was thinking my last before proper swi effort) so even if ov was a bit late and we caught it, I've probably thrown everything off course with alcohol. Double crap!

Anyway, like I say I am NOT going to go on about it, so that's that. Thanks for listening/ reading .

Hi boo. Last night all types of symptoms seemed to go. They are back today but no worse than yesterday. No spotting though today.

Could your temps have just been a bit off this month? I have never really got sensible looking charts, probably because I never get a good enough run up of solid sleep. Also, don't worry about the alcohol. I spoke to my gp recently about that and she said it doesn't matter at that stage and pointed out that lots of babies are conceived because of alcohol :) Carry on swi anyway!

DH and I are painting the new bathroom today. This means if I am pg this month I can spend weeks worrying about the paint fumes

yay for no spotting hee. and yay for painting your bathroom, what a lovely place it shall be for when you are having your relaxing preggo baths :)

boo have done the shred 3 days out of four (was actually too sore to do it on day 2!) and am sure I feel better for it already. I am a faddy exerciser, apart from swimming (which is sadly very time consuming so dion't get to go as much as I would like) I get bored very quickly but when I find something I like and fits into my lifestyle I stick to it... so am really pleased this seems to be my thing for now. I can do it every day with or without DS, which I cannot do with proper exercise at the mo. Have never got on with exercise dvds so is odd, but I have a really big airy dining room that isn't looked onto and think that really helps!

Don't listen to FF boo and don't worry about booze. How are your other fertile signs? Eg this month I am going solely by cm, when that has dried up (and I have sore boobs) I will know I have ov'ed regardless of ff and opks. (will prob do opk around ov time anyway to confirm and, ahem, let DH off duty ) I would go with what is normal for you and have faith in that rather than a remote calculator BUT I don't know much about charting so... anyway, I would keep on shagging if I were you :)

didn't get to go out for dins last night due to DS's strange nap (fell asleep at 4.30 eek) so will hopefully go out for lunch. Although it defeats my shredding efforts it is the only way I really get my family together in the same place without one of us buggering off to do something else! making a new baby is making me realise how much I love my family and how everything will change when there is another one! (for the better but, you know, end of an era).

anyways, enough of my essays. Have to work!

ooh ps. Do any of you know of Nora Ephron? She died the other day :( I didn't know of her till she died (!) but have read her stuff since and is brilliant, so funny and witty. She wrote when harry met sally and am now itching to watch it as an adult. Think I must have been 17 last time I saw it!

Having a sleepy Sunday afternon check in as a break from doing lots of little chores.

Re excercise, I don't know what I thinking showing an interest, I don't do excercise! I must have been feeling needy and wanted to take part in what you were all doing!!! Usually if I need to lose a bit I just eat less for a while but just the last couple of days I can't get enough of food, and it has replaced my interest in wince and cigarettes. I was shocked by my midnight feast but who knows boo! But I knew I was pg last time, no symptoms, I just knew, and I had the coolest first/early symptom ever, my body actually changed its scent such that it caught my attention, none of that at the moment.

Sorry you didn't make it out for lunch Wild, hope you get something nice soon! (take away or a quick run to the shops for frozen chips and some sausages??)

Boo, hope you didn't miss a very early ovulation. Have you learned any more about what's going on in there?

Yay for no spotting Hee AND for painting new bathroom, how lovely! What DPO are you now?

I heard about Nora Ephron on the news Wild and was interested but haven't looked her up. I loved that film, are you reading a book or something? Would be interested to hear more or if you have any recommendations.

7 DPO here. OH has this theory that women become more attractive when they Ov, glowing skin, bright eyes, etc., (he's a natural science enthusiast) and he said I looked like that last week, which made me think (why the feck didn't you compliment me?) had I missed ov? I have no symptoms aside from random bouts of over emotion and the urge to eat everything, i.e. could just be pmt. Because I ov'd late I think I can't really test before the 8th but 10 dpo is actually wednesday. In fact, I just realised, what I don't have is a common pmt symptom, a ginormous spot... hmmm, there's time. I dreamed last night that a random friend's father was giving me advice on being a single parent (poor OH!), he said "well, you know, you are dyslexic and have been shot in the head, so , you're going to struggle". I could be pg, or I could be having wish fulfilment dreams about losing my OH! I like him an awful lot but he is just so messy!

Agh, and I just realised I'm going to be away from the 7th to the 12th so I can't check in here with all my neuroses!!!! (and see how you're all getting on!)

Also, I just bought 10 pg tests (I have 4, that's clearly not going to be enough!) and 40 ov tests from home-health UK for under £9, means I can poas anytime I want and up to three times a day during ov time, just thinking boo it's so cheap you could poas to your hearts content!

Ok I must confess. I just poas - BFN :(

It is only 9dpo so that was to be expected really. DH told me not to but I did. Feel free to slap me :) still no more spotting -yay! Looking good for at least a 9 day lp now. I will be happy with 10.

Hope you got your lunch wild

It is sad about Nora Ephron. I have never seen when Harry met Sally. I should rent it.

That's a good deal on sticks one. I am almost out of of sticks so I will look them up. I also just 'knew' I was pg last time. I don't feel like that at the moment though. Are you off anywhere nice?

My bathroom is now blue and looks lovely :)

Thanks for reassurance everyone. It's all quite confusing, as I've had EWCM since I supposedly ovulated, although only when I inputted that later today did the solid red line meaning ovulation had occurred on day 11 go dotted (ie might have occurred rather than definitely did). So I feel slightly better about that. Anyway, will just keep swi away! I think I'll save the ov tests for next month though as I've only got 5 left and I'd rather know they were going to be useful. Also, I don't really take the temp at exactly the same time so this could explain it. But I did have a huge temp dip on day 11 - don't know why. Reading up on it, I could have slept with my mouth open (!) or something. God only knows.

Hee you numpty! Here's a slap, though I feel a bit bad slapping you twice. I hope you get a pos, but like you say, if nothing else it's great to know lp has got longer.

one there is a lot to worry about isn't there!? I have everything crossed for you and hee.

glad shred is working for you wild it sounds great. I might consider it maybe for winter when going out to exercise is less tempting. Hope you had a nice family lunch. I know what you mean about enjoying family time - we should definitely enjoy what we have whilst we can!

(friendly slap) (but understandable emoticon) (because I did the same)...

And yes we are off to Venice, my first time, I'm very excited! But now, I've had a glass of wine and a huge meal so am off to bed, because, you know, going to bed before dark is a luxury only a select few will ever really experience.

boo I sometimes got huge temp dips like that and put it down to my mouth being open.
one Ooh, Venice, how lovely. I went years ago as a student and loved it although can't remember much other than all the pigeons in St Marks Square. You will have a lovely time.
Another BFN this morning and I'm very crampy. I think AF will arrive today. Oh well - heres to another month.

Heavier spotting. AF is definitely arriving today. 9 day LP :( Not sure what to do now? Go to GP?

9 days is ok hee? most babies should implant by then (and you did make a baby before)? How have your other cycles been? sorry AF has got you lovely. come join me on my BFP cycle, am only on cd5 :) Obviously go to the gp if you are worried x

one! venice! super! never been to italy (tho off in sept hurrah)

boo ignore temps as they are open to interpretation but follow the EWCM. that cannot lie or go awry because you slept with your mouth open!

nora ephron: just read i remember nothing and other stories, and I feel bad about my neck. Short books so devoured over weekend while footie on! Very funny and astute and also really interesting about what one might feel getting older. Good to know in advance. She seems (seemed) like a sound, sharp lady. Have ordered her novel, heartburn so will let you know how that is.

I am on cd5 and AF has gone. Hurray for short AF, last month's dragged on. Hopefully will start getting EWCM in a week and then swi is ON. though 'D'H is being rather grumpy atm because of work pressure. hmm.

Did get mah lunch, thanks! was super and very relaxing!

Thanks boo - Grapefruit juice is supposed to increase quantity of EWCM. I dont think I really need it but have noticed I have a bit less EW stuff since second mc and figured its not going to do any harm at all so I am giving it a go.

Sorry AF got you hee. I know nothing about Luteal phases but if you are worried go to your GP, the worst that can happen is they tell you to go away (and then you can self prescribe some of that B50 stuff boo is taking!).

Hope this week is better for you one - venice sounds mega exciting (though it says a lot about me that I think your night time sausage and chips treat sounds equally exciting!)

I have heard women are more attractive when they OV (apparenly strippers earn double tips during their fertile periods!) but I have to say that if DH waited for me to look all glowy and bright eyed before he jumped me I'd be menopausal before I got my next shag.

wilde I am also eagerly awaiting the egg white stuff, and likewise have a grumpy / stressed DH. Problem is I start getting all stressed and on edge that when the time comes he wont want to. I dont know how many more cycles of this I can go through without some sort of meltdown though to be fair at this precise moment in time I am feeling pretty chilled.

I have no idea who Nora Ephron is so am feeling very dim and am going to google her right now...(well, once the kettle is boiled and there is a brew and a choccie biccie in my hand) (health kick has still not really started round here) Have a good Monday all!!!