After m/c - the [wine] and [shagging] thread

[FoofFighter]

Funthatisfunny, booboomonster, madeinchinababy - anyone else who's recently had a BFP sadly followed by a miscarriage - welcome [busmile]

Me - got a shock BFP on 5th March, had early scan at 9 weeks (after I talked to midwife about feeling something was wrong, lost symptoms) on Friday 6th April showing baby had died around 6-7 weeks. Our little Widget left me on Saturday 7th April thread here

I have been wonderfully supported here on Mumsnet but especially by the above people who are sadly going through the same thing right now or waiting to, very special people to be thinking of others at such a sad time for them and their partners.

Although the baby was unplanned and completely unexpected, we want to try. And time is against us as I am 39 in June. So here we are. I'm not sure if we'll wait a period of time or just see what happens but having had secondary infertilty with my now ex husband for 5+years I do NOT want to get het up on BBT, CM checking, OPKS.

So in talking with the lovely ladies we decided that other threads were quite well established and to start a new one based mostly on alcohol and sex

Anyone is welcome, just jump right in :)

Just found this link www.babyexpert.com/get-pregnant/conceiving/vitamins-boost-fertility-and-conception - so am going to carry on taking my Pregnacare and extra folic acid (BMI is 36) and extra Vit D (not prescribed, just taking as have been as near as dammit housebound for a year with a back problem so probably not a bad idea - plus other countries advise much higher doses than the UK does).

I meant when are you due! Not are you due!

Yeah the Dr thing is rather exciting :) DH does love that I am doing a PhD but not that it takes up so much time methinks.

AF due on weds. would almost certainly have got something today if I was pg. Am really gutted, I feel reet pg this month. I wonder why I get so symptomy after I ov, I hope there isn't something wrong! really worried about a hormonal imbalance or something! silly am sure. At last I have written everything down this month so next month when I think I am pg again because of this or that symptom I can remind myself that I thought that before!

Doesn't matter really, ttc is a journey for most people and a profound lesson in patience :) onwards and upwards :)

feel so sicky today :( bastard hormones leave me alone!

thanks for your kind words ladies while I have been wanging on, much appreciated

Hiya
wild it's not over til AF due. You are right about the patience game.

hee I really hope you are pg, but try not to overthink it. I am not even going to look up dates etc this month so if I do manage to conceive it will be like it was when I first got pg - a surprise (first time trying), a late test, and didn't find out due date for a week or so after! (Don't quite know what I was thinking).

Hope everyone has a nice Sunday. Lots of tidy up jobs here for me, though late night last night means I've only got up in the last hour (DH gave me a lie in - hurrah!).

That sounds smart writing everything down so you know what your normal symptoms are Wild. I should do that. I've now got a sense of what to expect when, and luckliy I have quite easy periods with very few symptoms so when pg symptoms started appearing it was quite clear. But I didn't get a positive pg test until 20/21 dpo. I'm torn between saying "No sense wasting a feeling of disappointment before you're really sure" and "you know your body".

I'll try to emulate your laid back style Boo. That's the boring bit of the 2ww, it might not end in pregnancy and it might actually be the begining of a 4ww until you can next do something to try to get pg, all this not knowing, I can be patient though. I've really pulled back socially (in a good way, not a depressed way, I was doing too much) and am getting more rest the last week or so and just want to keep doing that.

And Hee, that sounds wonderful the way all the dates would line up for you, I hope you get that!

I'm awful with dates so have thankfully forgotten my due date I just remember it would have been October, it would be nice to get a 12 week scan in before then... who am I kidding, I'm going to pay for a private scan earlier, at least one, and today I bought that damn baby heart monitor from groupon.

Oooh, check out laid back me, soooo (not) relaxed about the whole thing!!!!

one am glad you are chilling a bit if that is what you want. And I totally understnad your confuddlement - it is so hard to be genuinely laid back about ttc as a woman... I always think I am then I start getting my post ov headfuckery and think ooh what if? and it is downhill from there :) This cycle I have been better than usual - when i have started thinking too much I make myself do something else but then again this cycle has been the worst for symptoms EVER so... bloody hard to ignore aching boobs and tiredness and nausea.

This is a lovely thread because you all seem very level headed and clever and sound not squealy.

boo I think you sound very sorted. I know every date going like hee :) Am far too nosy!

I skipped past the FRER in the supermarket earlier and bought a bumper pack of tampax instead. and have a plan for weds when AF comes and knocking and this has all made me feel much more in control! hurray for control still sulking about my bfn though and i better get pg next month or ELSE

Just haveing a quick scan while I watch the footie but wanted to quickly dive on and say that you are not my colleague one so dont panic!! :)

one and wild oh yes it's very easy for me to be laid back having been out of the game (as it were) for a month! Just wait I will be ss like a crazy come 2 weeks time! Although I am going to try not to. It's just so damn tempting isn't it?

Had a really nice Sunday today - actually spent some time with DH and the DDs and got some jobs done beforehand so finally my bedroom is tidy! huzzah. And we dtd today which, although only cycle day 7, is a start! I've told DH that we're gonna do eod this month which he seems up for, but I'm not going to start til around day 14 as I ov pretty late, I think, though today seemed to have a lot of EWCM but I think I read somewhere you can get it a few times a month, not always related to ovulation. Downside is I ate a whole load of rubbish today and have done no exercise all weekend. Tomorrow is a new day etc....

It would be an amazing coincidence if any of us knew each other in RL wouldn't it?

By the way, I am a feminist and proud. But sadly I am not a doctor. Never been tempted to do a phd (partly am too lazy, partly I do a lot of research anyway for work so had enough of it) but I think it's a great thing to do [proud of my thread buddies emoticon]. There are too many other skill based things I want to learn... but can't justify... yet.

I am a feminist too boo. Drives DH crackers (though he is the enlightened sort by and large). And aren't you a broadcaster?! that's like, a proper job . don't ever do a PhD! i did a masters and loved it and was offered a PhD place at a good uni for my topic and funding... had no other plans at 27 so grabbed it with both hands! i would like to work at policy level in my area though so the PhD would be good for that. I have adored doing it actually it is just these last few months that are a killer and I don't want to do the Big Jobs I originally wanted the PhD for because they will take me all over the world and need 75 hour working weeks and I want to be at home with my children (yes, plural please!) now. so CAB it is :)

I have a huge belly today :( am the size of a house, bloody progesterone inflating my insides.

Didn't test today which is the first time I've not tested at 11dpo since we started accidentally trying in sept. am very proud of myself! but think I have also turned a corner re: testing. that bfn yesterday really shook me and can't face the thought of another one. would rather just wait for AF, and when I don't get it (one month i won't get it! hurrah!) do a test and hopefully get a nice simple, clear line. I look forward to that day. Please don't let me break!

your sunday sounds lovely boo. Def dtd whenever you see EWCM, my mistake for a few months was overthinking ov symptoms and opks and missing the egg by a day here and there. Now if I have watery/EWCM and we are having a proper EOD month (only had one so far as got pg because of it!) as we are in July we DO IT :)

well done for not testing wild - I know what you mean, I actually think I have turned that corner (though we will see when I get there...) because I get so nervous prior to testing, and then so disappointed, it's just no fun. Also I have twice had BFN before BFP, so I don't trust them until AF due. (Also I am a stinge-bag and it so happens I have only expensive tests in the cupboard.)

I have a huge belly today too - but it's cos I ate lots of chocolate and drank a fair bit of wine over the weekend. Bah!

It's great to do a phd, actually in my job they are very valued! But mainly because people are impressed by intelligence! I think it would be a fab thing to do if you are sahm the rest of the time as it would give you a sense of moving on and of the future. Going all over the world sounds fab but you're right, not with the kids you're going to have!

Just popping in to wish cake good luck with the scan tomorrow. Let us know how it goes.

Ladies, am lurking and keeping fx very tightly for your bfps very soon.

AF cramps :(

hi ice!

Evening.

I seem to have AF cramps too wilde :( Only 3dpo. I'm freaking out :( :(

this ttc malarky is hard work hee!

Thanks Chuckle!

What's happeneing re AF Wild?

What's happening re weirdly timed AF cramps Hee?

When's your scan Cake?

Hello Ice!

Can someone remind me what FRER stands for? And CAB? (I said "AF" to someone at work the other day, I was so embarrassed)

Ooh, a broadcaster Boo?! How interesting. I have to say that while I worked hard to get where I am I want nothing more than to be a sahm now, which we won't choose to do for financial reasons. I'm older, I don't want to go any further up the career ladder (and in fact would happy to go down a rung or two, which is an option we're considering). Work has been far too stressful for far too long and I only recently woke up and reaslied I do not want to have committed my life to work (hence ttc later in life). And I know, or have heard tell, that having kids is stressful, I'm just looking for a more meaningful kind of stress!

News at 3dpo: I've got mild ovary pain still today - so clearly I've got an ectopic pg (SS comment number 1 of 1000).

I feel like AF is on the way with cramps and a short temper at what is now 4dpo. I'm convinced I have a luteal phase defect now and will not be able to concieve :(
Sorry for the me me me post, just a bit stressed out.
one I feel that way about my career too. I never saw myself as the stay at home type but now I quite like the idea. I guess I might change my mind if it happened though.

Hee, have you had previous experience of a luteal phase defect? If not then try to relax, I know it's easier said than done, but it could be all sorts of perfectly ok things, you're in the waiting game good and proper now and second guessing symptoms is the worst, we've all been there. Keep us posted how things are developing. Here .

Thanks one. I have only kept track for the previous two cycles, one it was 10 days and the other only 7 if my charting was correct. I haven't bothered with temps this month. I have read some reassuring things about pregnancy still being possible so I will just have to hope for the best. If it is only 7ish days this time I might go to my gp though.

Oh, yes, I'm also new to tracking what my body's doing. A gp visit sounds like a good idea.

hee good idea to go to GP ifLP is only 7 days again. I take B complex vits to lengthen out my LP, is now 12 days. Don't know if that would have happened anyway though. My friend has a short luteal phase (about 9 days)and she made a baby in the normal 9 month period! Sorry you are freaking out though :( Here, have a and some lovely cake.

I tested and BFN. At 12dpo I know i am out of the game this month, but is ok, I had a big chat to myself last night and my baby just isn't ready to come yet . We only dtd once anyway. I hate ttc, I hate all the swi, the bloody 2ww dopes my bloody head in. The thing that has pissed me off this month is NOT not being pg, but the 10 days of pmt!

I have just been cheering myself up looking at places to stay in rome when we go in Sept and have found a wonderful self catering flat for £96/night in the middle of rome, but on a quiet street. superb!

one FRER is first response early something or other! And CAB is citizen's advice bureau! sorry that me being assuming :) and fear not about the ectopic, am really sure you are FINE!

Got to work now.

AF due tomorrow. chin up chucks xxx

Aww thanks ladies, what a lovely lot you are :)
Sorry about the BFN wilde. Is there still a chance? I didn't get my BFP until 15 dpo last time iirc. Do you take the B vits all cycle or just up to ov? I've been taking B6 but I stopped at ov and hadn't started until well into the cycle anyway.

hallo hee. I take B vits in my pregnacare tab along with the folic acid as otherwise would rattle and take them every day. I take them for pmt too, I get right angry without them!

really? 15 dpo? I am just sure it would show up if I was by now... so am sitting tight and waiting for AF tomorrow morning. Am feeling sad really, I really thought I was preggo! Ah. Will do some work and will feel better late am sure. Just want AF now and to move on :)

spotting :( well at least I know for sure now! next month if I spot a single symptom remind me it is my feaky deaky pmt and to hold my peace you have to help me stay sane ladies!

x

Sorry wilde but here's a for now and you can save this for later.

If it's any help the 2 months I've had a bfp this year - I haven't had pmt as usual. I had the odd moment of super-rage mainly at idiots who can't drive which was unusual but not according to dh or ds1&2.

Def go for more is best next month - unless your oh has a dodgy sperm count every day is ok around ovulation. I managed to keep dh interested with a bit of variety, shall we say. And it's good exercise too.

thanks ice, you are kind. DH is up for proper swi next month, these last two he didn't even know we were in with a chance as we weren't trying really. Just coincidence of sex and ov :)

Don't think we need variety lol, just any shagging will do him at the mo! been so grumpy since the mc not really been into it, poor deprived lamb. I didn't think I had pmt which is why I thought I was pg :( haven't had any rages either! But obviously the sore boobs, sickiness, bloating etc are all pmt. Maybe these will all go when I have a bfp!

Good news for me though - am going to the lake district with my bezzy and her little family for a long weekend when am on the 2ww next month, and have a nasty chapter to finish so will be too busy to symptom spot. hurray! Soo need a bloody break.

speaking of which, must stop skiving