Mums of angels! wishing, carrying and holding rainbows.

[fanjodisfunction]

May this thread bring us luck and lots of support through the journey of life after the death of our little ones.

Elly I didn't get my BFP until 3 days after AF due. Tested day due and was bfn, left it a few days then bfp! Like Blizy says it ain't over yet Fx for you x

Ooh Loch Lomond sounds lovely Blizy enjoy! Got everything crossed for you and fan this month too.

Can't wait to get through this limbo bit and feel some regular definite movements although no doubt that will bring a new set of worries!

wtw Erins grave looks beautiful, just happened to be in the cemetery today and I always go and acknowledge the childrens graves.

ellypoo its not over till AF is here so fingers crossed.

Today should be last day od fertile zone or 'the zone' as DH calls it! So the tww begins and symptom spotting aswell, though I'm going to try really hard not to notice.

blizy fx she doesn't arrive!

Ah thanks Fan am hoping they are going to level it off and grass seed it soon. The other little baby who was buried just a few days before Erin has been done. Am really hoping her headstone will be here soon we ordered it in November! Funny the things you are looking forward to arriving Me and K were at the doctors yesterday and she was amazed at how beautiful all the flowers were around there and up by F/Hall, they are looking stunning! I was looking out for you

wtw I'm usually in the gardens around the library aty the end of the week, if the boss hasn't put me somewhere else.

Just been weighed lost 2 1/2 pounds this week! Chuffed with that, its me closer to being fit for a baby! Going to try and work extra hard this week and get a bigger weoght loss next week, but we shal see as I have a family curry night this weekend! Could spell trouble!

August lovely news! It's definitely a tradition on this thread to have the same sex baby as the one you lost. I was delighted to have another girl :)

Elypoo good luck, it's not over yet

fan fingers crossed for you, I really hope this is your month

blizy hoping this is it for you too. Loch Lomond sounds amazing, I'd love to see it one day x

angel how are things with you?

whatever hope things are all well, for me it got so much harder to cope as the time went on. I was on edge and scared most of the time.

Last night was a difficult one with Ella, she's a bit sniffly and found it hard to settle, combined with feeding every 2 hours (up for an hour feeding and winding included in that) I didn't get much sleep and what I did get was unbroken so I'm catching up a bit on here now :) Not that I'm complaining at all! I'm still in disbelief that she's actually here and ok!

Now into newborn clothes due to her length, they are a bit big but had to put the tiny baby ones away. She's 7 weeks and 3 days old today.

It's a gorgeous day here, had a bbq over the weekend and yesterday. Have dd1's friend coming round on Thursday for dinner so we're having another one then too!

Wasn't sure if I should mention anything but last weekend me and dh had sex and the condom came off inside me afterwards. Not on the pill or anything and am not intending to because of the way they affect me but I'm guessing the chances of getting pregnant are low. I'm a bit worried as it's so soon, but I'm breastfeeding as well and only recently stopped the bleeding from birth, it's been so long to bleed. Much longer than last time and I think that's because I've basically had 2 babies in almost 2 years. People forget that and it's taken it's toil on me I think. If anything happens then so be it but I am worried.

Hope that's not upset anyone or isn't insensitive, I've been thinking about it since last week, whether to post or not.

cheese oh dear, that's not insensitive hun, these things happen and you are in the fertile time! Fx either way for you, I know from a friend how hard it is having two under two, but that would be two under one! My nan was 10 months older than her sister. Glad to hear Ella is doing so well, hoping her sleeping gets better and you can get more sleep.

Thanks fan, the prem part worries me too. I wanted to give my body a year or two at least, if we could even have any more at all, just enjoying Ella at the mo. She was born at 34 weeks exactly and I'd started having problems a few weeks before, if that happened again (and is likely considering Scarlett too) then god knows when it would again. Anyway, trying not to worry about something that probably won't happen!

10 months between them! Wow, that would be very hard. There's only 20 months between dd1 and ds1 but that was 10 years ago!

Cheese hope your " accident" doesn't cone to anything. I m back on the mini pill as didn t want any accidents .... Sorry all , don t want to upset anyone.I want my body to have a rest, loose weight & devote this time to Phoebe. Plus the emotional strain of being pg is too much at the moment. Ella ; 7 weeks wow???? Doesn t time fly by??? Phebs is 22 weeks today!!!!
Hope her feeding settles soon xxx
Fan well done xxxx excellant on the weight loss. It's a fab feeling xxx
Ellypoo fx AF stays away xxx
Blizy big FX .... So hope AF is banished for a good 9 months. Xxx
Love to all, hope you re ok?? Xxx

cheese have a quick gander at this looks like you probably have nothing to worry about due to Ella being so young and being bfed. Lovely that she's just made it into the newborn clothes - I feel all sentimental. Freya is just heading into 6-9months now and the newborn clothes are so dinky and cute in comparison!

Fingers crossed for you ellypoo and fan

and blizy!

August, congrats on another boy! So would not have been able to hold out begging DH to tell me! Personally, I didn't want to call Maia after Thea, although we did discuss giving her Thea as a middle name. It just didn't seem right, somehow, but that's just what we thought at the time. Now I'm not so sure.

Razz, Maia lost 12% too, but the MW miscalculated it as 11% and by the time someone checked her arithmetic Maia was back up to 9.9% and we didn't have to go into hospital, yay! She has had 2 jaundice tests and her 3rd is scheduled for Thursday . She is so much less yellow I'm hoping that we'll get there and the doctor will decide not to bother. Hers were in her hand and it is still bruised from the incompetent nurse trying and failing to get the blood out.

Cheese, we had a barbecue today! It was lovely, although Bean woke up when I was only halfway through my food and demanded feeding so mine went cold. Bad little beastie!

Re the possibility of being pg, are you too late to take the morning after pill? Failing that, how soon would you know for sure if you were? Getting pg again so soon would be terrible physically and emotionally...and yet good too . I already know I want more babies because Bean is so amazing, but I'm really not ready for another pregnancy yet.

Rue, I hope you get your wish of another multiple pregnancy.

Blizy, hope Loch Lomond was good FX for you that AF stays away.

Angel, I felt the same when I found out Maia was a girl. Not sure why but it did help. Fantastic weight loss, well done you! You too, Fan.

Angel, I'm going to ask for the mini pill at my 6 week check (which looks like being closer to 8 weeks given the stupidity of the GP appt system). Like you, I want a rest between pregnancies. I want to be in much better physical shape than I am now in the hope of an easier pregnancy next time.

Angel I feel the same, really want some time to recover after birth again. It's gone so fast, I can hardly believe it! Wow 22 weeks :)

spilt thanks for the link, it's reassuring! 6-9 months, goes so very fast :)

Too I ended up eating mine while I was feeding Ella as she woke before I started and dh was still cooking the food and then serving it all up. Glad you had a good day :) Yep too late for the morning after pill but to be honest I didn't want to take it just in case something had already happened. If that makes sense. Not had my 6 week check yet, think it's next week.

I cant go on the pill, it effects me in mood swings and also my leg started to hurt last time I took them. Also I have been told that they could have made my firboids grow so Im staying well clear. I have dicussed with DH that because it took 18 months to get pg with Ophelia and now we are in our 10th cycle of ttc, that we might just get on with everything after the next one and see what happens, not go full out to get pg straight away but not stop it either. I may change my mind once I get pg and have another baby fx! but at the moment I think I would not stop or prevent another pg. My bff fell pg three months after her daughters birth, didnt want to beleive it but fell over one day and thought I should really start taking this pregnancy seriously. She ended up on crutches as she had bad SPD, but her girls are so close in age that now they are over 2 they get on so well and play together and sleep together, its quite sweet.

Thanks Too for your congrats!!! Xxx

fan I get mood swings on the pill too, really bad ones so I don't want to go back on it anymore ever. I know what you mean about just seeing if it happens or not. I have trouble with staying pregnant due to pcos and it took a while to get pregnant with Scarlett. I've had recurrent miscarriages in the past so I'm aware of that as well as not getting any younger. Not old yet but who knows how long it would take again. Life is so full of unknowns xx

For us , unfortunately, another factor in waiting before discussing ttc again is cost. I know everyone says " if you thought about it you'd never be able to afford kids" but Pheb's nursery fees are. £630 a month & we haven t got the funds to pay that twice over.we may have to TRY & time it!!( who am I kidding???) to have another when Phebs is 3 or thereabouts & recieves 15 free hours a week....( especially at the moment when Ant has no permenent job & this contract finishes Friday & we ll be surviving on my mat pay only if nothing turns up)
Another factor working against me & Ant is our ages as I m 41 & he's 40.so, not much time to play with. I also think having lost a child makes you eternally grateful for what you have & sometimes I think just accept this now & be very (x a million) for my Georgie & Phoebe.
Too much to think of when we ve got other stuff going on ; jobs, interviews, wheter to move, wheter to put the house on the Market, returning to work.... My head's ready to blow!!!!
So , the upshot for us is we will re-visit the subject at the end of the year & take it from there.
Phewee!!!!xxxxx

Crikey Angel, so much going on for you at moment, and I can't believe £630/month nursery fees, that's scary!
We've pretty much decided that when we get pg this time (still no AF, so keeping fX!), this will be it (assuming that nothing goes wrong of course) - we only ever wanted 2 children, so with Nancy, that's our 2! May very well change my mind after though, but when/if I do get pg again, it is going to be so hard emotionally, that I'm not sure I'd be able to do it again anyway.

cheese - good luck whichever way, I know what you mean about needing to give your body time to recover though, but one of my friends (who lost her first baby at 23 weeks) said that your body wouldn't let you get pg unless it was ready for it, although I'm not sure how true that is - also doesn't BF'ing give a small amount of protection?

So many unknowns and things that we have absolutely no control over - crazy isn't it, you spend so many years trying NOT to get pg when you are younger, now it's the complete opposite!

Am jealous of your bbq's and walks by Loch Lomond today!! Have been in work all day :( Hopefully the weather will stay fine until Friday though - am seeing my 'mum' friends for a picnic!

Well done fan for your fantastic weight loss, you are doing so well, it's really inspiring xx

Oops - not the complete opposite for those of you who have your beautiful tiny babies of course - different situations, but hopefully you know what I meant

Great weight loss Fan well done you You are doing so many positive things I just hope you are rewarded with you BFPositive soon.

Eeek Cheese we had a similar slip up when K was about 3 months old, it came to nothing but gave me the kick up the bum to go and get the injection sorted! What will be will be my lovely, eek! Glad Ella is doing so well xx

Angel K's nursery fees were the deciding factor for us that we couldn't afford 2 at nursery. Hers were £550 for 3 full days then about £280 in term time when she was 3. That's why Erin was carefully planned to arrive as K started school - imagine our delight when we fell 2nd month of trying and was due just 2 weeks after K started. It all seemed so perfect. Now I look back and kick myself that we were so cautious to be honest. We would have coped somehow.

Easter bonnet competition tomorrow, K is desperate to win

I feel so tired, I just want to go back to bed! ( And there's a little ttc fairy in the beck of my head telling me its a symptom!)

You and me both fan!

Ohhhh! blizy fx whens AF due?

Saturday fan, I am not getting my hopes up though.