Just MC and ready to try again? Pregnant after MC and seeking somewhere safe to hide? Come on down to the shiny new baby-friendly MOSH PIT.

[MarthasHarbour]

There's cake for scoffing, backs for patting, and screeching death metal for all your METALLING moments. All welcome!

Our last thread reached 1000 posts so i hope you have all found your way here! I have steaming hot chocolate croissants (or as my colleague said 'chocolate pasties'), blueberry muffins, grapefruit segments and hot buttered toast for brekkie!

Settle into the mosh pit, we have special VIP area's for those on the 2WW, the new bumps metalling with segregated areas for the first/second/third trimesters and the club class cocktail bar for those who have just got AF and can get-pissed let loose for the first two weeks!

pebs I hope they have got it wrong and I have everything crossed for you.

Oh pebs I am sorry sweetheart, I really hope there is some rational explanation and it works out ok for you and your babies.

pebs keeping it all crossed for you - what a bloody nightmare!!!! Were all here for you ready to hold your hand through the next week!! Hugs xxx

Things here have taken a bizarre turn - have really bad pain in my side and so went off to the drop in to see the MW. She was lovely and very helpful - we both assumed was a kidney problem but sample was all fine. The pain has been accompanied by tightenings so she thought better have a check to see what was happening 'down stairs'......well my cervix is soft and I'm nearly 1cm dilated but as my cervix is still posteria I'm not officially in labour. Her words were 'your making your way up to it'........so she had a nice rummage around and said see what happens. Still in pain and now my back has kicked off - not really sure what to do with myself at this moment so I'm on the sofa watching lord of the rings!!!!

Does anyone know anything about viability scans? Can they tell if everything is ok right there and then or can they look and see if everything is likely to progress normally iyswim? I am in two minds, part of me thinks it would be a relief to see something on the screen to really get it to sink in and stop the worries about lack of symptoms etc. Part of me thinks that if it's going to end badly like the rest then I would rather not know about it. Also most of them say from 7 weeks, can they see a heartbeat then?

Oooo iq I really hope things are moving along 1cm is good! Only 9 to go! I went from 1-4 in 2 hours with DD and took AAAAAGGGEEESSSS to get to 1 and was fully dialated after another 2 hours fingers firmly crossed for baby-Q to get a wiggle on

pebs I'm so so sorry you have this new development and then a load of uncertainty hanging over you. Holding you in my thoughts hoping that some good news will emerge from what seems like doom and gloom at the moment.

IQ You're definitely doing the whole long latent stage thing which apparently makes for a quicker, easier time once things start properly... I presume MW has given you a sweep so you could well see some action soon! It's a strange time for you, at the moment, that no amount of 'advice' will probably seem right for you - I think most mums would say (because we have the benefit of hindsight and completely forget how all consumung thoughts of impending labour can be! Especially the first time) make the most of this time whilst you are just... you. I personally would be doing last moment grooming/bathing (which is quite a hilarious thing to say considering much of my grooming has fallen by the wayside since I lost Teddy...) but, yeah, I would be making a last minute effort and then trying to switch off and relax. Can't wait for you to 'graduate'!

I was quite... low/upset last night. I came away fro the 3/4D scan feeling...exactly the same. Which is to say, nothing much. A few tears last night, some more today (prompted by my Mother, not that she realises - saying how my Nan tried straight away after she lost her 3 month DD2 to SIDS and subsequently, when severely agorophobic/depressed/anxious was advised by doctors this was probably a bad idea before dealing with her feelings re: the loss. And I've already realised that I wasn't in the best shape either mentally or physically before getting pregnant again but it's done now so... helpful. Thanks Ma!)

Sorry you're feeling that way manda. It was a shock for you losing Teddy and it is perfectly understandable that you are feeling a bit off - it is a lot to process all at once.

Watching for iq updates with interest :)

x post with marbles and tits

Last two babies, I went from 4cm to birth in 40mins... (and getting to 4 only took an hour!). Sounds great in theory, I suppose, but I actually don't like how fast and furious it was and how out of control it makes me feel. No pleasing some people, eh?

tits As, generally speaking seeing a heartbeat means chances of mc drop dramatically then it means they will declare a pregnancy 'viable' if a heartbeat is seen. I went this time and last time... it only stopped me metalling for a while but I couldn't not go, iyswim.

tits when I had a private scan at 9 weeks she did some viability checks - the dr who did it was a huge expert in prenatal scans and works with some of the most well known consultants so although it wasnt as cheap as some of the places we could have gone it felt great to have a real 'Dr' do the scan.

She checked the yolk sac, blood to the placenta, HB, position in the womb. I said when we booked that we'd had a recent MC and wanted some reassurance and so she took her time going through the above explaining that because we could see X (can't remember what it was) it was very positive.

Might be an idea to have a look round and check the credentials of the scan place. If you ring they should be able to discuss exactly what they will do and look for - this way you can see what you will be getting for your money. I will find the website of where I went so you can get an idea!

Just a warning, kinda, in case any of you want to avoid it (I shall probably remove it at some point...). I just added a picture from the scan yesterday to my profile - it's not great, the baby wouldn't play ball and barely took his hands or feet from his face for long enough to get any pictures but, yeah, for those that would like to have a nose it's there (and also a pic from Butlins which captures quite candidly how many of our days are - some laughing, some bemused looks, and some tears! And thank goodness black and white is so forgiving because I seriously looked like death in glorious technicolor)

Awww.

www.beardmillclinic.com/viability.html

Here you go!! Xx

Oh and Manda don't stress about not feeling suddenly 'attached' after the 4d. I didn't - I just felt relief all was still ok......at the moment im still referring to the LO as my husbands daughter. Haven't managed to say 'my' daughter out loud to anyone and I haven't been through the trauma that you have so really I think you are doing pretty damn well considering it all!!! Hugs xxx

Thanks for the link, I really think it might stop the metaling, I think I'll call a few and see what they say and talk to DP about it, there is a couple near by I will see if I can also get some reviews, I am only 5 weeks so need to wait a couple before I could have it done anyways.

manda your scan pic is lovely i always regretted not getting one with my DD but at the time i was a poor student and couldnt justify the £100-odd it would have cost...

tits sorry you are metalling at the min. i would definitely research early viability scans if you can afford a private one...

hope everyone is doing well

still feeling rubbish but DH is taking good care of me- came home and ran me a bath, did the tea and bought some icecream from tesco for me

Evening all,

Been mentalling busy which has reduced my mettalling.

Manda if I could hug you through the screen I would. And then maybe lick you to lighten the mood. I think how you are feeling is natural, you just need to find a way to work through it (what the hell does that mean - did I just really type that? Shudders.

Pep got everything crossed for you, a week is so long to wait. Sending you good thoughts from the weird positive person who has invaded my body temporarily. (Not sure what she has done with the real me - the bitch)

Went for a scan solo today. How brave was that? Armed with this weird confidence that I must have stolen from a woman who hasn't M/c as many times as me. Anyway - it is still there. It is still flickering. I am officially still pregnant. best friend tried to rein me in from being so positive and think about the future. I know she is right and trying to protect me but I can't shake this feeling that it may just be all right this time. EPU offered to discharge me as they said it all looks normal and instead of clinging round her leg like a limpett I said yes. Get me. I still am under the M/C clinic at St Marys so I have back up but still a big step for me.

MissC Good luck with your consultants appointment tomorrow. So glad you feel less concerned about gushgate and that you get some answers tomorrow.

I am off to prod my own boobs and POAS. Again.

pebs the waiting game is awful, take care of yourself.

thanks madmen that does give me some hope. At least I can't get an ectopic in that tube anymore, as it's gone. Had another counselling session today (last time I saw her it was before the ectopic)

iq thanks that's good advice about work. I think it's best I crack on and get into work, my counsellor thought so too. She said something about not being defined by pregnancy loss, which made a lot of sense at the time.

grumpus I've had a lot of acupuncture TTC, it seems to lengthen my luteal phase (from about 9 days to 12). I go anytime of the month. I know what you mean about EPAU docs, the one at my ectopic just sat down and said without preamble, "well we can take your tube out" at which point I started to literally fall off my chair and hyperventilate. He just sat there staring at me. NO compassion AT ALL. Deep breaths. Thankfully nurses and consultant very kind.

god martha you're made of stern stuff watching OBEM. It's strictly off limits for me atm! and I'm totally at no EPAU, sounds horrendous. Puts me off moving (we have one where we are now but not where we want to move). LOL! right on the money , you've been watching too much "homes under the hammer"!! I love that prog too!

marbles hope you're feeling better soon, I am speechless at what you went through in your MC, hugs x and tits, words fail me reading about your doc

missc you're allowed to be mean and pessimistic, hope your LO is still swishing around x

bloody hell midget you're my hero!

That made me chuckle tas. Think it was the real me that chuckled not the crazy positive freaky woman who is currently inhabiting my body x

gushgate

Yep busy metalling about going to see dungaree consultant tomorrow now.

manda your scan pic is wonderful and you look to have such a happy family. I won't offer to lick you though. Sorry about that.

I bloody hate OBEM. iq it's not like that honest. 1cm is good. I never had a cm measurement done or a fanjo rummage so you're on your own with that one but sounds positive!

Been having 'tightenings' every 15 minutes since 2 pm and the pain in my back/right side has kicked off again - going to bed now after an ovaltine and paracetamol. Hopefully I can get some decent sleep cos I'm knackered - was up at 5 am today and missed my daily nap because of being out to lunch with DH.

Night all xxx

iq, oh my love, you are so close, I am sure it will ramp up soon. I had random contractions for a few days, then I had a 'show'. And then it got going. I went out for lunch, and was sitting there with DH, and my most laddish, commitmentphobic , male friend and suddenly thought, 'not 4 an hour any more, every 7 minutes', better go home.

msc good luck today.

good luck IQ, sounds like the home straight. Not that I know anything about natural labour. I had to be induced because of 'inhospitable womb'. Or some such gubbins. Anyway even to someone like me it sounds promising.

just wanted to check in and say that IQ you are really in my thoughts at the moment. I think I have mentioned before that with DS my due date was 15th March. He ended up being born at 42+2 (but that's because they got my dates a bit wrong I think). I remember having "tightenings" regularly for the 2 weeks before he was born. Sometimes they were so uncomfortable I would be up leaning over the side of the bed in the middle of the night....anyway they would start up like clockwork at about 7pm and carry on all night then by the next morning they would go away. So frustrating! I too was 1-2cm dilated and "good to go" for about a week before I was finally induced, and all the midwives were convinced that they would be seeing me the evening after I had seen them.

Anyway what I am trying to say is that I have so much empathy for the incredible frustration of the last few days/weeks. I think my long long latent stage was due to the fact that DS was a wriggler and my body was trying to get him into a good position. All I can say, and I am sure you will think that I am being VERY unhelpful, is that there is a difference between the tightenings and the contractions when they start and you will know that something has changed.

And don't worry about a thing. Your body knows what it is doing, ignore OBEM - they only show what makes good telly and an active. straightforward birth is a bit dull to watch Just remember that whatever happens you have a choice so if you feel, for example, like you want the reassurance of beeping machines then ask for it - or if you want to be left alone in a dark corner with some beanbags and silence, make sure you (or your DH) tells them that's what you want. The key is that you feel confident. Your birth, your choice

Sorry for such an essay - I am just reliving what was going on 2 years ago

Really looking forward to your good news whenever your little girl decides she wants to make an appearance!

As for me, well I'll be 16 weeks on Sunday - where has that time gone?? I have started feeling the little nudges and flutterings already which is nice, and bizarrely the odd braxton hicks (as I said I had so many of these I am in no doubt of what they are!). MW says nothing to worry about but freaked me out a bit!

Manda I can really relate to what you are saying re "bonding" etc, I feel really disconnected from this pregnancy in a way, and I feel a little bit sorry for the poor baby already. I have just booked on to a pregnancy yoga class in an effort to do something for me and this baby in the hope that I can start to feel a bit more connected. Watch this space....

sorry I have been awol.

Take care ladies, lots of love xx

Good morning ladies :)

SO we have decided to go for the viability scan in 2 weeks time, some places off it from 6 weeks but I want every chance of seeing a hb so I can wait until 7 all being well. However, I would really like to go by myself, I am the sort of person that likes time to process news good and bad by myself before seeking comfort from others, I asked DP if I could go alone and he said absolutely not a chance. I know he want's to support me and doesn't want to miss any opportunities to see our bean but if it is bad news, I don't want him to be there to see it with his own eyes, I am aware it's selfish but it's something I feel particularly strongly about. I think I would rather not have it done if it means going as a couple. That sounds awful I know. :(

Nothing much else to report, Dad came over last night, I didn't tell him I have a headache today and I have spent the past couple of days quite tearful.

Morning all,
Well the pain carried on until I went off the bed at 11 pm, not sure when I fell asleep but woke at 5am (dammit) and the pain in my back/right side is niggly again but not too bad. I also now have shooting pains in my fanjo.......or lady garden as my DSis likes to call it!!!

midget glad you are feeling much better about things and I'm hoping that the positive crazy woman that has taken over your body can stay for a while to get you through to your next hurdle. Oh and 'gush gate' brilliant

tas best of luck for returning to work - could you buy yourself something nice or get a treatment over the weekend as a talisman for going back. I bought myself a new bracelet - nothing expensive but it helped to have something to 'hold on to' when I was sat at my desk feeling 'adrift'!!

marbles glad DH is taking good care of you and that your chilling when and where you can.

Jaffa I've no idea how close I am but to be honest I just keep saying to myself that it's all part of 'the journey' of labour and delivery so I'm staying as chilled as possible.

missc good luck today. As for OBEM I watched a couple but have not watched them all because I find them a bit distressing (forceps, rushed labour, crash c section) so tend to fast forward to the pushing stage and just watch the 'birth' part to keep reminding myself that it's all worth it and see how happy everyone is when they finish delivering.

poppy no I totally understand what you mean - the tightenings and contractions don't feel the same - which is why I was a bit meh last night as I knew it wasn't anything serious.have so had BH since 16 weeks - at the time I just didn't know what they were after all this time I feel like an expert!!! The only good thing is that the LO is in the 'perfect' birthing position so when she decides she's had enough I'm starting from a good place.

tits I totally understand what you mean - I didn't want anyone there at my early scan (was 6 weeks it was a dating scan and I'd been bleeding the days before it) but DH was away and my DSis came with me. I couldn't bare to look at the screen so she did that for me and also helped me back to the car on shaky legs when we were told all looked well - both are good memories for me now. It sounds like your trying to protect your DH from upset/disappointment but don't forget that your a team. Men often cope very differently than us with MC but it is hard for them and maybe he just wants to be part of some good news or be there to drive you home if anything unexpected comes up. It is his job to care and look after you (as it's yours to do the same for him), try not to forget that part of things!!!