Just MC and ready to try again? Pregnant after MC and seeking somewhere safe to hide? Come on down to the shiny new baby-friendly MOSH PIT.

[MarthasHarbour]

There's cake for scoffing, backs for patting, and screeching death metal for all your METALLING moments. All welcome!

Our last thread reached 1000 posts so i hope you have all found your way here! I have steaming hot chocolate croissants (or as my colleague said 'chocolate pasties'), blueberry muffins, grapefruit segments and hot buttered toast for brekkie!

Settle into the mosh pit, we have special VIP area's for those on the 2WW, the new bumps metalling with segregated areas for the first/second/third trimesters and the club class cocktail bar for those who have just got AF and can get-pissed let loose for the first two weeks!

missc call the labour ward. I did when bleeding started with my mmc at 12 weeks. They were lovely and made the referral to EPU there and then, and told me where to go and when.

Hello ladies, please may I join?

This is my first post so apologies for inevitable errors/inane ramblings. I have read all the posts and firstly would like to say thank you for getting me through this hard time. You wonderful folk have (unknowingly) answered my questions, allayed many fears and have made me laugh when I most needed it.

I had a mmc with #1,found out @ week 11, after 4 scans, no growth since week 6. Erpc on 23rd Feb. bleeding only lasted a few days but on about cd9/10 I had excruciating pains in my stomach and of course, because all of this wasn't hilariously undignified enough... My bum. Right up there. Stabbing pains were an understatement. I called NHS direct, then called the man a naughty name when he told me to take Buscopan. However,with that,the fact I tend to ov pretty early and the old delightful ewcm,I think I might have been ov'ing. So of course went at it like a woman possessed. So am now waiting. Feel really lucky to have great company. I bring Nutella cake, and decaff tea along for the ride.

Am really worried that this will happen again. Along with stressful shift job, plus sister and OH's sister announcing pregnancy this week (throw me a freaking bone here) I'm a bit all over the place. Work has offered counselling if needed but don't know really. Anyone had any experience?

Didn't lie about the rambling...

Hello grumpus I hope you are ok. I also read all the messages Anf somehow get strength from reading others stories. Take it easy during your tww wait. I am ttc too but despite crippling ov pains, don't think I have actually ovulated. Take care of yourself

As always i agree with everything manda and the others have said. missc i am thinking of you, and truly truly hope this is a false alarm. i know how it is with LO's, when i had my MC i waited until DH could take DS to nursery at 8am, i had started cramping at 3am... but you do what you can and assess priorities dont you? in this case i think a telephone call to the hospital would do the trick.

can you not just go to A&E if the MW's have such a crap service? please take care, i dont know what else to say other than take care of yourself. as an aside i am glad to see your PMA

IQ i have PM'd you - i want to send you a pressie - it is something that is gathering dust on our bookshelf!!

grumpus welcome - sorry for your reasons for being here but i am glad we have 'virtually' given you some comfort!

tas i would have wiped the smug smile off that 'stroking belly' woman's face!

tiago so pleased you got a 3+ on the CB digi

as for me - i am still prodding my boobs till they hurt and imagining stretchy pains in my tum... so wish we could have that blue wee when the hormones were raging! Still only CD18 and about 6DPO

oneday thanks ever so much, I really will try to take it easy,you too! The ov pains were a bit of a shock,tbh I could well have been imagining the ewcm,wishful thinking does funny things! Good luck to you and your ttc'ing,hopefully we'll both have good news before too long.

OH is blissfully unaware of why I'm not delighting in his sister's news and want to feel a bit upset for a while. Am feeling that all males are dullards. My male cat is making a great effort to cheer me up, a paw on the nose is just what I need right now.

Hey grumpus good to see you, as much as we wish you didn't have cause to seek us out.

You with the bum pains, too, eh? Seems they may be a more common side effect of 'everything' than we previously realised and, really, why whould we realise? I think the whole 'you don't talk about mc/mmc/stillbirth' coupled with 'you certainly don't talk about embarassing stuff that happens afterwards' may mean shooting pains up the arse may be the final frontier!

You're not the first to say that just lurking/reading here has been a comfort but it's actually the first time it's really registered with me - and it makes me proud, if that's the right word, to be a part of such a supportive group of women who are reaching further than even each other. I hope now you're 'one of us' you'll stick around.

Although... decaff tea? Really?! Not that fricking redbush stuff which is, frankly, foul.

As you will know, you're in the WTF cycle so may not have O'd despite all the signs saying so, and may have a very short luteal phase, but it does happen and some women do get 'lucky' first time, so GOOD LUCK!

We''ll cross the 'omg, I'm pregnant again' bridge when we get to it...

marff as an aside, have you considered peeing on yourself?

Oh and totally forgot to YAY! tiagos good news. Good news!

marthas thank you. And fingers crossed for you! Not long to wait now. I know the prodding the boobs until they are sore again feeling,I was annoyed when I started to fit comfortably back in to tightish jeans,I want my water retention back damn it....

manda I'm really glad that me saying that you lovely lot have aided my recovery struck a chord, because it really has helped! The wisdom on this thread is awe inspiring.

The decaff tea is a bit sad I know... But Twinings decaff is genuinely nice. Honestly. I work somewhere that has a 'tea on the hour,every hour' policy and can't tell the difference. I realise I sound like a crazy person now,I'm not a 'what Candarel? I HONESTLY think it tastes the same as sugar!' type lunatic may I just add. Red bush is vomit inducing, too true.

I have learnt a lot already,the wtf cycle really did click with me and I am trying to prepare myself for every eventuality. I'm a bit rubbish at not getting over enthusiastic though,I can't play the lottery anymore as when I buy a ticket I'm convinced I'll win,then I get ridiculously disappointed every time. Must be better.....
it's good to keep myself in check on here though,I know now that not every goes to plan. Thank you for the support whilst we wait. Eventual bridge crossing sounds great,whenever that may be.

Here's a hot water bottle to sit on, bum-pain-sister (fist pathetically thrust in the air in solidarity).

Yes, Manda, thank you for reminding me, fab news of 3+ for Tiago! I really hope it has given you some respite from the metalling. I am so sorry you have been down, and really pleased that you are feeling much better today. I won't ask what you do, but I would not like it either if my work place had higher than normal mc rates. I hope you find the counselling useful. I have had 2 lots in the past, once when I was young and depressed, and I had CBT which helped a lot, and once straight after my 17wk mc, which I think helped too, but in a different way. When I feel myself sinking back into the pit of self blame, sometimes, I can get myself out again by remembering what she said. Only sometimes though. Keep that 3 + picture at hand :) I think we will be metalling on together with v close due dates?

MsCoffee, I am going to bed now, but I hope you are alright tonight and tomorrow. I hope my post before was not bossy. I know you have had horrible hospital experiences, and completely understand your aversion. I just wish that all this could be taken away from you, and that I really had that magic wand. I'd track you down and give you a zap any day.

Grumpus, hello, welcome. I am going to take your side and disagree with Manda, for the first time ever and say I like decaff tea, especially red bush.

x post with Grumpus.

Only red bush tea fan here.

I'll get me coat.

jaffa I like peppermint too (teapigs rule all) if that helps? I think drinking red bush in South Africa with only dehydrated milk killed it forever for me.

The announcements have been pretty appalling timing. Plus both were accidents. I don't know why that makes it worse,my selfish side has decided it is. They are both really relaxed about it. I wish I could be.
If rash isn't the collective noun,we should put in a strongly worded letter to the OED. Far more descriptive. Glad to hear it eased with time,that's good to know.

Good Morning ladies :)

I have just woken up, these early mornings are madness to me, as someone who religiously refused to leave my bed until 7.30, 6am seems strange and unusual..

MsCoffee I really hope you're ok and that everything has stopped or you are somewhere seeking advice and help.

As for tea, I have converted everything to decaf so am drinking boring old Tetley, I have tried every herbal tea on the market and they all just taste like slightly flavoured warm water to me, yuck! Decaf coffee too for me atm, it's like visiting a Steak house for a Veggie Burger, quite depressing.

Tiago Great news on the 3+, I hope that will help to put your mind at rest a bit. :)

I am still plodding along in the realms of super early pregnancy, worrying about every twinge and non appearing symptom, trying to continue as normal but batting crippling exhaustion. 7pm bedtime anyone?

I hope everyone has a good day. Some light tidying then baking with a friend for me today.

Morning

missC I hope you are ok today. I would definitely go the hospital even just to check all is well...either way it wouldn't be a wasted journey {{{hug}}}

tiago woohoo for the 3+

grumpus welcome so sorry you have become qualified to join but nice to have you (I drink decaff too)

I'm having a duvet day today I feel like boiled sh&@e at the mo and I have been having some right sided chest pain too so I reckon lying on the couch all day is preferable to going into work!!

MissC how are you today? You going to the docs or the hospital today?

grumpus 'accidental pregnancies' are the work of the devil, its a pisser for us as all we want in the world is to be PG and some people just wink at eachother and a bean is created we will get there x

manda i did enough pissing on myself when i was preggy with DS honestly wish i had listened to the midwife re pelvic floors... at least i had a CS so i dont have that problem now......... how is your DS?

Where is tits with her Ninjabread men...

(and red bush tea tastes like shite - fact)

Morning all!!!

So how is everyone metalling feeling this morning???

Today has mostly involved being sat on my gym ball rocking my hips back and forth as this little madam is playing with my hip bone again and I'm trying to encourage her to move away from it - the dog is being clingy (not unusual for him) but he has this crazy idea that sitting on my lap whilst I'm on my gym ball is not only acceptable but a good idea.......

Right must catch up:

missc hope you are feeling better today - please let us know how your getting on! Xx

Tiago yay for 3+.......it's a bloody nightmare this conception after MC business but hang in there!!

grumpus welcome to the thread - it is bloody crap people announcing and falling pg at the drop of a hat.......when we MC'd my SIL was 6 months pg with an accident and she decided on the name that id wanted for years!!! Couldn't bare to see her for weeks afterwards as I wanted to slap her. Anger, bitterness and resentment are all part of the MC emotional roller coaster - we won't judge here!!!

Marthas boob prodding - I say carry on as long as your not at your desk, people will start to talk you know Funnily enough this was suggested by someone to get labour going - apparently nipple stimulation can help but must be done for a considerable amount of time and I'm too lazy. So I asked DH if he wanted to spend a few hours stroking my nipples he said yes as long I spend just as long stroking him.....I was at such a suggestion and had to remind him that "I was the mother of his child and he shouldnt say such naughty things to me".....he said "have you forgotten all the effort I put into getting you that way". I was trying to be indignant but I just cracked up laughing.....men eh!!!!

tits I'm intrigued by these 'ninjabreadmen' .......I'm imagining something like regular gingerbread with the pyjamas - sounds like fun!!

marbles at 'boiled shite' brilliant phrase - I shall be keeping that and using it. Hope a day on the sofa will help you feel a bit better.

Manda "have you considered peeing on yourself" oh the mental images.......he he he

Big wave to my fellow red bush fan Jaffa!!! How are you doing at the moment??? Hopefully good!!

As for everyone who doesn't like red bush (this is the stuff also called rooboss (sp?) by some places right) - not really sure what to say - I actually really like it - accepted I'm a bit odd!! I've been drinking decaf since the start of the year to help with my insomnia but as it tastes rubbish I've basically given up tea rather than drinking decaf.

Wave to bonzo and midterm hope you ladies are doing well on this cloudy Wednesday morning!!

Hugs to everyone I've missed!!

Xxx

oneday just to say i always burst into song when i see your name! i guess the '73 is your birth year? mine too, so i guess you did name yourself after the song!

Morning all. No news from me, though I have a question for you - having just MC (sometime between 4-8 March) should I ttc this cycle or wait til I have another bleed? The nurse in the hospital was unhelpful - told me 'we recommend you wait a cycle, but some people are more fertile and their bodies more likely to accept a pregnancy straight after a miscarriage'. Of course it could be a moot point as DH hasn't come near me since the MC, despite me being randy as a stoat .

Grumpus 'Accidental pregnancies' and friends who fall pg easily make me feel like I'm dying inside. I seem to be surrounded by super-fertile people I have 2 friends who are due around the time I would have been due (and only confided in me because they suspected I was pg due to being tired etc plus they are both aware of my fertility struggles) One of them fell pg at the drop of a hat, in spite of the fact that she and her DP spend most of the week living in different countries . However, the other friend has struggled with fertility for years and eventually ILs have paid for her to have IVF, so I don't begrudge her pregnancy for a second and am so happy for her, just sad that I won't be having a baby at the same time.

Thanks for the pancakes marbles - definitely in need of those today. Will pass on the fresh fruit, sounds too healthy for my liking

Ninjabread men are indeed Gingerbread men in the shape of Ninjas :o however, I have the most intense craving for garlic naan so I am now making them, I can do more baking later.

I like redbush btw. :)

Jaffa no, don't go! I've got redbush and vanilla, it's my favourite! Stay with me and iq (though hot drinks, gym ball bump and dog on lap don't sound like a good combination!)

grumpus you gave me a well needed laugh thinking of you buying a lottery ticket and being convinced you're going to win, bless! You're just like me! I'm struggling to understand how your OH can't understand why you're not jumping for joy at your SIL's news, mind you my mind is pretty tiny atm. I think my DH is pretty understanding, though I do tend to explain myself through gritted teeth in words of one syllable accompanied by "death glare", so I think it's pretty clear. On your behalf can I just say F**K RIGHT OFF to all those sods who get accidentally pregnant. Deep breaths. Sorry in my finer moments I think they're lucky they don't 'get it'. Once upon a happier time, I didn't 'get it'.

tiago glad you're feeling better, I'm going for counselling tomorrow (last one was before the ectopic, so plenty to talk about this time!). I had a couple of years of it and found it saved my sanity.

marbles pancakes, yes! sorry you're feeling rubbish, get well soon, boiled shite pretty much sums it up for me as well!

missc thinking of you, hope all is well. x

hi to everyone else x

twolittlemonkeys I was told 2 conflicting things about TTC after mc - 1)it's better to wait til you've had a cycle so they can date easier (suppose it's less stress for you as well) and 2) just go for it whenever you feel ready. I had shedloads of EWCM after the MMC (with tinges of blood - sorry TMI - acc to Toni Weschler, that's super fertile) so physically it was a good time to TTC. I think feeling frisky means your body wants to make a baby!

Though there's something to be said for waiting til you're mentally ready, we tried straight away and it didn't work out so great (got pregnant within 3 months but it was ectopic), and 2 pregnancy losses in 4 months isn't great for sanity. Sorry that's a bit depressing, take comfort in the fact that ectopics are quite rare, I was v unlucky.

tas can I just say F**K RIGHT OFF to all those sods who get accidentally pregnant

twolittlemonkeys you can start again straight away depending on how you feel about it. However, if you do try and succeed, they may find it hard to date the pregnancy (though a scan or two will solve that one) and, as I understand it, your womb lining may be on the thin side which is apparently not great for implantation (so don't give in to the desire to test very early).

I spoke to occupational health today and was pleased to be banned from travelling for work (becuase if this does all go wrong I do not want to be in another country for it). I was also recommended a fetal health clinic on Harley St that does viability scans, and have booked one provisionally for next Thursday (22nd). I think (though am not 100% convinced) that it would be better to know if it has all gone wrong and so be able to do something about it, rather than wait and find out at 12 weeks (or probably 13 in my case). I'm not seeing the MW until I'm almost 9 weeks and I don't want to wait that long.

grumpus meant to say earlier - i cannot recommend counselling highly enough, i got it last year through work and it really really helped

Martha I hear you!

MissC I hope everything is OK.