TTC for 10+ months, part 5

[MuddyWellyNelly]

Filled up our old one, I'll put our updated list on a separate post so that it's not a huge chunk of text at the top of every page.

Old thread here. Newbies always welcome, much as we'd like to hope nobody ever gets to this stage of TTC!

Hi ladies

Is it ok if I join you? Been lurking for the last month, thinking "if it doesn't work this month then I'm going to say hello to these lovely ladies". Guess what? No surprises, AF arrived this morning. Or "lady time" as my hubby and I call it. A very dignified name for such a horrible thing!

So we are now on cycle 11. Started trying last January but missed a couple of cycles. This is #1 for us. I am 31 and DH is 32. The Dr has actually been really great and done some initial tests on us and so far everything looks ok. Have had 21 days bloods and ultrasound + trans-vaginal scan. DH's sperm is all ok.

So we just have to keep at it.

Agree with Flamingo's earlier point about joining the buses etc and reading about ladies stressing in cycle one and getting a BFP.

Haven't been charting but the doc who did my scan said that temping is the best way to track your cycle so might start that tomorrow

Have been using CBFM last 2 months which has given me a good indication of what;s going on. Might use that along with the temping this month and if I get the hang of the temping just crack on with that in future months,

Look forward to getting to know you all and supporting each other until our time comes :-)

Nelly the Maldives is lovely (and is non-malarial). TBH, I think I would get bored there for more than a week though, but for that length of time it is a wonderful place for complete R&R. We did some amazing diving there, but even if you can't dive (if pg) the snorkelling is great. We saw rays and all sorts of pretty fish when snorkelling around the island. The only thing we didn't see snorkelling but only when diving was sea turtles (so cool).

Flamingo have you been checked out for thyroid issues? I ask because that could explain both the difficulty to maintain weight and the ttc problems.

Welcome JNO. I'm sorry that you are in a position to join us but hopefully you will find this thread a great support. It's good that you have a helpful dr. I started off using ovulation sticks and then overlapped them with temping for couple of cycles before moving to temping only as I got to know my cycle. The main disadvantage to temping is that it doesn't warn you when ov is coming, only confirms when it has happened. That doesn't really bother us as we just dtd regularly from the end of my period until after I have ovulated anyway, which I think is more sensible than waiting for a peak and then going at it like rabbits! Particularly when you do hear about people dtd several days before ov and getting pg.

Morning ladies! Hope you are all having good weekends. We're having a quiet one no money to do anythang until payday

Welcome jn. This is a great thread, with lots of lovely supportive ladies. Like euro I have been temping. I like it as it gives a definitive day as to when the big O happened rather than 'it may happen in the next 24-78 hours' of the ov tests. Having said that, I sometimes can't resist the urge to pee on sticks and end up buying horribly over-priced ov pee sticks!

Oh euro re the ladies with no sperms getting pregnant. At least you know it would have involved some kinda medical intervention rather than a ' I just looked at him and get pregnant' story (i assume)! It doesn't seem fair tho - we know someone who is about 5 years older than me, had some kinda womb cancer and who started trying at the same time as us and now has a 5 month old baby. I am thrilled for her but a tiny but of me is v at her miracle baby. I am SUCH a bitch, argh!

izzy well done of the weight loss and good luck with the drugs which will hopefully give you your BFP.

flamingo You have my sympathies. I used to be skinny and people (even friends) thought it was ok to say things to me about it to my face, whereas they would never go on about how overweight someone is to their face. As you say, the grass is always greener.. I now have skinny limbs & chest and a mashive bum and tummy!

Am slightly distraught by the lack of Cumbersnatch tonight. Am hoping there will be some fine totty in Birdsong..

And a random question from me, those of you doing/thinking about ivf, have you bought any books about it? Any recommendations? Come pay day, I think I might 'treat' myself to one, to help me understand the process a bit better..

Just a quick phone post to say welcome to JNO18, it's always good to have new people join, though a shame you have had to wait so long for your BFP. Has your doctor mentioned a HSG at all? That's the next step for us, as all my results were normal, though DH had some SA problems to.

I've got to rub as we have a trip to the museum today and I'm not ready yet. Will post later.

Welcome jno, this is a lovely thread. We have a list of us all somewhere (on the first page?), if you can manage it, it would be good to add yourself to it. We don't want to be like a bus with lists of stats but it does help us keep track of where each of us are up to. It's great that your Dr sounds proactive and you've had some tests already. I've temped and I found it really good for working out when I ovulate. It does become all consuming though so I'm giving it a break at the moment.

flamingo do you think you might have pcos? That could explain your long cycles, or thyroid as euro said.

euro, I know it shouldn't be funny but your post about the lesbians made me chuckle. A colleague of mine is pregnant, she's 40 something and doesn't even have a partner as far as I know so not sure how she's managed it. I do wonder if she's had ivf but I wouldn't like to ask her as she's a pretty private person. When she announced it a few months ago, I literally spat out my coffee. I did start to think there is some big conspiracy for everyone but me to be pregnant. I have a friend who moved to Australia a few years ago, we keep in contact by letter and I thought it was strange when I didn't hear from her at xmas. Yesterday, a letter arrived from her and yep you've guessed it, she's pregnant due end of April. I was totally caught unaware because she has been with her partner for less than a year so I thought I could safely put her in the non pregnant category. But nope, she's managed it. Gah.

I have managed to make a pregnant woman jealous!! This makes me very happy. I asked my neighbour if she'd keep an eye on the house while we're away, she asked where we were going and when I said skiing she looked like she was going to burst with pure jealousy. Apparently, she loves skiing but can't go because she's 7 months pregnant, ha ha ha ha ha.

I can't remember who said about royal weddings, but diana and charles got married 29th July 1981 and William was born 21st June 1982. Pretty good going for a couple who didn't like each other. I read that William bought kate a puppy for xmas, I wonder what that means?

The coffee cake is lovely, I can recommend it. I found some instant stuff but I think it's probably stronger than stuff in the UK as the cake does taste very strong but I think it's nice that way. Caffeine, sugar and white flour are I've decided perfect for long term ttcers.

thanks for the welcome messages ladies. I might come back to you with questions about temping. Will start that tomorrow.

Stasi we're not having any more tests for the time being. The Dr offered a couple of tests just to see what is happening, as I haven't been coping with it all too well. Being as everything looks ok from those we'll carry on as we are and see what's happening in a few months. It's good to put our minds at ease for now. My DH works with radiation so we always wondered whether he had 2 headed swimmers so it's a big relief that his is ok!

Euro I totally get where you're coming from. I would have the same reaction if a lesbian couple announced their pregnancy! Everyone does seem to be pregnant or having babies from our circle of friends too. It's so hard, especially with all the "oooh I bet you'll be next" comments.

Nelly we went to Mauritius last year which was lovely. We met lots of people there who had also been to the Maldives and send it was paradise but personally I think I would get a bit bored. Depends on what you want of course, but the great thing about Mauritius is it's got the gorgeous white sandy beaches etc etc but there is lots to do and see on the island as well so you can mix up beach days with activity days. When are you getting married? PM me if you want any Mauritius details.

Need to get off my ass and do some decorating. we're hoping to sell our flat this year, TBH it's nice to have something else to focus on and distract my crazy thoughts a bit!!

Afternoon lovely ladies, I hope you are all having nice relaxing weekends.

wine I hope your pasta making adventures went well. I?ve just been making a no-sugar carrot cake, from 101 cookbooks, and it is delish. There are ripe bananas and dates in it for sweetness, and the topping is cream cheese with maple syrup. I guess that would mean it isn?t low GI, wouldn?t it? It is lovely though, with wholesome ingredients, and I am going to scoff lots of it this afternoon

fatima Im sorry about your horrid AF, hope you are feeling better. What happens with your IVF now?

nelly love the idea of lining the aisle with tuna at your wedding for your kitty! How?s the honeymoon planning going? All of the places on your list sound gorgeous. And ooohh about the kitchenaid mixer, I?d love one of those.

joycep sorry about the awful questions. I think it?s one of the hardest things about ttc. I always get really panicky when someone starts asking something, I really must rehearse some appropriately bland responses. I agree with you about the fact that people on this thread getting BFPs after 18 months means that some people do just take longer, and we?re unlikely to find out why that is.

izzy glad the clinic went well, and well done on the weight loss, that is fantastic. I sometimes think it?s easier if doctors just tell you what to do in those situations instead of giving you choices.

euro aaaargrrrgh about your lesbian friends. I?m sure it?s fantastic news for them, but hearing things like that makes me feel ridiculously infertile. I went through similar emotions when a colleague told me delightedly that his wife was pregnant on their first go after they?d previously been given a 1% chance of conceiving.

dameflamingo quite a few of us are skinny on here, I try not to read into everything too much but couldn?t help wondering about it when a friend of mine who is a pregnant MNetter mentioned that all the ladies on her pregnancy thread were overweight and unhealthy! FGS!

JNO10 welcome. I hope you get your BFP soon. It is frustrating being told that nothing is wrong, but ultimately it means that every month you do have a good chance of conceiving, so fingers crossed. In the meantime projects are a good distraction from TTC.

gin you are not a bitch for thinking that, I?d be exactly the same. Thanks for the headsup about Birdsong. I absolutely adore the novel, so have set it up to record. Yes let?s hope there?s some totty in there.

mrsd well done on making that woman jealous ? brilliant! Actually reading some of the other threads on MN has really made me think that I need to make the most of this child-free time ? some of the stuff some mums have to put up with sounds like a fricking nightmare...

Right. I really must go and do some pre-shag week leg hair removal sorry TMI!

Welcome jno. I found temping very helpful but I have given it up now to try and put ttc out of my mind. Yeah right!

Yesterday afternoon I was thinking I was so much happier than I was last year and I thought I was getting to grips with things. I then went out to dinner with a couple of girlfriends and one of them I notided didn't drink a drop. This was totally unusual as she never ever doesn't drink. She was wasted a month ago and I know they've just started trying so I think she is most certainly pregnant. She loves her booze too much not to drink. Anyway, I just sat there feeling more down as the evening went on and today I just feel that awful low. She is a lovely girl but I am 21 months In which is about 24 cycles and I just find it so bloody depressing . I don't know why I still get those terrible butterflies and nerves when I am around someone I think is about to announce a pregnancy. In my head I know realistically all my friends will get pregnant before me now so why do I still feel so sick when there's an announcement. Last night she didn't even announce it but it was so obvious. I just feel in such a parrallel world whilst others are off moving on with their lives.

So sorry for the rant- 2 years of trying is looming in the next few months and I just can't believe it.

mrsd - hahaha at making your pregnant neighbour jealous. Fab!

nelly I went to the Maldives for 10 days and I found that long enough. We could walk around the island in 6 mins and it was paradise. Great food, reading lots of books, snorkelling. But there are other islands where they have more water sports and things sadly mine didn't.

Out of Interest has anyone been to Bermuda?

Izzy - well done on the weight loss.

On phone and DH trying to peak so can't check previous page so waving hello.

joycep, I know EXACTLY what you mean- it really sucks- when I spot any potentially preggo behaviour in my friends or colleagues I feel my eyes start to prickle, I get hot, I want to shout and scream about how it's all not fair, then all that fades and I just feel absolutely bloody seething

A coping strategy I've found quite helpful in the last couple of months is to remind myself that I don't want A baby, or THEIR baby, I want OUR baby, and it's just taking time, effort and fucking great big wads of cash money to achieve. So other people can do as they please and good luck to them.

It doesn't totally change me from and to but it helps. Sorry about emoticon over-use!

Hi to everyone else xxx

Oh joyce I so know how you feel...words cannot explain the shittyness of that sinking feeling when you realise another person is pregnant. All I can say is that you will feel better about it once the shock has passed. And the fact that you are having a small set back doesn't change the fact that you are in a better place than before.

Evening ladies,

I spent the day with good pals and their baby - completely cemented for me the reason for riding the emotional rollercoaster of TTC. Now willing arrival of AF so can start next cycle of trying (as well as getting tests underway).

euro all clear on thyroid front - just come from family of tiny, tiny women we're a bunch of 7 st weaklings (literally)

mrsd I asked GP about PCOS but he didn't seem to think it likely as I only display the crazy cycle syndrome - must admit I haven't done a lot of reading about this though - I will ask again when I go in next week for bloods. Oh by the way not just pregnant ladies who are jealous of your ski trip!! where are you going?

kitty agree with your FGS, its so sad that women waste their time worrying about other women's size and looks - we could rule the world if we channelled the energy. I see pregnant women everywhere and they are all shapes, sizes and states of fitness and I'm envious of them all ( unreasonable I know). The only women I have any right to have an issue with are those who are pregnant and smoking outside a pub with a bottle of diamond white in their hand (nice picture hehe).

Oh bummer joycep. Huge sympathies to you. I can sniff out a pregnancy from 10 miles and I'm rarely wrong. It could be that she's just immersed herself into trying in a big way? But it is so rubbish when you find out. You describe it so well frittata Although after the smack in the face, I'm generally ok with the rest of the pregnancy and birth. I have one good friend though who is daily facebook updating about the moving bump/ the swollen feet/the growing tummy/nursery decorating YAWN and AGHHHH! She has several close friends who are having fertility problems so i do find it insensitive. I know I shouldnt look, but I can't help torturing myself. You are in good company gin

nelly I'm loving all the honeymoon destinations but am so jealous! I nearly used the green smiley but it is a bit evil looking for this purpose! A week with a stack of books on a gorgeous island is so what I need. But if you get a kitchen aid I will have to use multiple

mrsden it is nice isnt it when you get that bit of insight that for all our woes we do have some advantages. I treasure my weekend mornings and sleep very much. My friends who had babies last year look very tired and dare I say considerably older.

euro a lesbian conception just makes my brain boggle. Its funny, I used to miss out day 14 in the months running up to my wedding. I still don't know how I got to 33 without knowing very much about my own fertility. Now I know, it seems so obvious. What in earth I thought ewcm was is anybody's guess. I don't think I even noticed it?!

izzy that is great news about the weight. I don't know very much about metformin but I feel rather scared of clomid and I'd maybe hold off just a bit longer? But I may well be talking out of my bum on that one!

flamingo I have troubles with keeping my bmi healthy too. Although, after my lap and dye and not running for quite a while, I'm quite a bit softer around the middle at the moment! I have friends of all sorts of shapes and sizes from 6stone (sil is very tiny!) to 21 stone who have all conceived. I try not to worry about it too much because I have periods and I guess if we didn't weigh enough we wouldn't have them?

kitty the pasta was a fail. We looked at the pasta machine and then at the packet of pasta and the packet won. But we will do it soon! The carrot cake sounds nice, I will investigate. I've spent all afternoon making lunch stuff for the week and then tea, healthy eating takes bloody ages doesn't it?!

Boring story alert. I would like to announce that today, after wussing out and fiddling for a week, I finally removed my own stitches. They all came out in a great big long thread and made me feel all wobbly. It was thick white indestructible nylon that I suspect should have been removed ages ago, but they never said. I'm sorry to anyone who is eating whilst they read this but I feel quite proud! And I can move my tummy all freely now and start bio oiling. My scar looks like a squashed insect Dh is appalled but I couldn't bear to see the gp. Boring stitches story over!

Wave to everyone else x

wine i think you are very brave, i only today managed to pick the plaster off my arm from the blood test on thurs, it was hanging off.

something odd has happened. after my blood test i was told to poas until i ov'd and then call the clinic. i'd been using my cbfm all month as i figured they'd ask me this, but i hadn't used it for ages before this month. anyway the last few days it has given me 2 blocks, i was sure yesterday afternoon i ov'd (felt ache in right side), so assumed id have a surge this AM but didn't, so i p'd on a normal ov stick, and it showed i had ov'd... umm now not sure if i have or havent.
sorry for bad grammar, cat lying on my arm!

Karbea how frustrating when you need to know. I've never found ov tracking easy to pin down in a precise way and generally only really know the day when it happened with a series of cues, temps, sticks body signs etc but I get a surge on sticks the day before I ov, according to fertility friend? Will you ring them tomorrow?

yes I will, I haven't had any body signs (apart from the ache), and I didn't temp (stupid)... I'll wee om both again tmr, and hopefully thye'll agree. The next blood test is 4-6 days after ov, so i'll just explain what happened...

Wow, Wine, that doesn't sound dissolvable! Well done for removing it yourself.

I used to notice EWCM every so often and just thought "yuk". I had no idea it was related in any way to fertility. Why did they not bother teaching us this kind of useful info about our own bodies in biology at school?

My EWCM seems to have dried up a bit in recent months. I definitely got it the first few months of ttc (and I can remember on one occasion hot footing it home from the pub after a went for a pee and found some back in the summer) but for the past few months I haven't noticed it. I'm not sure whether that is because we are having so much swi that everything gets a bit mixed up together or whether it is my age and my fertility is dwindling. It's strange because I can remember getting loads of it in the past and just being vaguely disgusted by this stuff dangling from me, and now I bloody well want it I don't have any!

karbea that sounds confusing.

I think the Letrozole is going to cause late ov again this month. I usually start getting the first twinges of ov during my period, but it is now over and CD8 and I have not really had any. So this is a warning that you probably have a couple of weeks of whining and stressing about disappearing ov from me coming up! Apologies in advance.

Evening ladies. First the honeymoon chat - well bearing in mind I spent every weekend for 2 years either sunbathing or diving, I think I can cope with doing nothing, ha ha! Seriously though, the island I lived didn't have heaps to do, so I am well versed in it. But we might try to mix up a City or Safari with island. Bermuda - no never been but it's a fair bit further north than the Caribbean islands and doesn't have such great weather. Think it's lovely in summer but can be a bit cooler/wetter in winter. Sorry for making you jealous wine and don't worry the KitchenAid is a long way down my list of financial priorities right now, no need for face.

I've promised myself I WILL go to bed early tonight (unlike last night when it was bloody midnight again) so won't do a full namecheck, sorry! But hello to JNO18, and a quick wave to everyone else.

Oh I do have a question though. Today I think I'm 12DPO per my app, but if I go back through posts from around OV time, if you remember there was weird CM with a pink tinge to it 2 weeks ago - the Sunday or Monday I think? That would imply I OV'd earlier, so might even be 13dpo. So just in case (because I love punishing myself) I POAS this morning, but it was BFN - durrrr. However, as yet no spotting and quite often I get spotting for 3 or 4 days. This month I'm not getting my hopes up though, as last month I only had one day. So I was wondering if this might be something to do with my vitamins. For the last month or two I've been religious about taking the sanatogen MTB ones (adding in Omega 3 from tomorrow) so could something in this be helping the spotting? Am I making up something about Vit-B? Early days, but if ERTD starts on Tuesday as predicted, then that's 2 months in a row I'll have had only a day of spotting, which is of course good news surely!

Anyway I must go to bed as so tired just now, will try to keep up tomorrow but depends how often my boss leaves his desk .

Morning lovely ladies!

A modicum of me-me-me: AF arrived yesterday, which was all of a day later than expected, and stupid, stupid me got hope again. And now there is quite substantial cramping and pain and I have loads of work to do today. Grumble. One or two more natural cycles and then on to some help. In many ways, I cannot wait...

Welcome to jno, it is a lovely group of ladies! So sorry about the pg-announcements mrsd and euro. We have some lesbian friends trying at the moment, and really they have a difficult ride (there is no just trying period for them - they need outside assistence for the obvious from day 1), so I feel okay about them (but no pg yet, so that might change). The lovely pg friend is still bugging me, I just am not nice, I guess. But I agree mrsfritattata about the its our baby I want, not theirs mantra and I have been using it (to little avail )

As to temping flamingo I found that helpful to confirm I was ovulating, but after two cycles it drove me around the bend. But then I can tell O has happened by now, and we are just DTD roughly every other day or so for most of the cycle... This was the scheme recommended to us months ago - not that it has produced a BFP, but it is fun (most of the time). How annoying about the disappearance of EWCM, euro! Could it be a side-effect of letrozole (as it is one of clomid, I thought)? I find it harder to tell when there is plenty of SWI, as well...

wine well done on getting the stitches out, you caught me over breakfast (read a while ago, but then had to achieve stuff). But nylon thread shouldn't be in there... Your plaster removal made me smile joycep, I always fear the massive bruises revealed by its removal, but then I have slow clotting blood...

Loving the honeymoon chat nelly and others. We went to Italy for ours, which was lovely. But you lot really went to exciting places, we could not really afford that after the wedding, read: there was a lot of camping in our honeymoon (and some rain) but it was one of the best hols ever.

Right work calling, hope you all have good days.

joycep don't beat yourself up at being upset. Maybe your friend is just taking a 2ww seriously, I wouldn't have touched a drop in the first few cycles of trying. It's funny that you say you thought you were feeling happier than you were last year, I was thinking the same thing last night. Although I know that all it would take is one more pregnancy to send me crashing down again. When SIL told me she was pregnant on NYE, I was sure that my congratulations and smiley face looked so false because inside I was screaming "it's not fair!!!" and I could feel myself going hot and prickly. It ruined my night because I couldn't stop thinking about it. Once I come round to the idea of the person being pregnant I'm usually ok, but I have started limiting contact. TBH, pregnancies go by so fast that I find it quite easy to avoid someone for 6 months or so. I never really feel jealous of people's babies, I think because all I want is my own.

nelly love all the honeymoon talk. Wherever you go, it will be perfect because honeymoons always are.

Right, I have a skiing holiday to pack for . I probably won't check in while I'm away because I don't want to think of ttc so wishing you all a lovely week.

sorry lemons I didn't see your post until after I'd posted. Boo to AF

Will catch up later properly when not on my iPhone but

lemons Sorry to hear about AF. What a bitch she is

Euro I have exactly the same thing with EWCM, glad its not just me. Noticed it when we first started trying but it stopped around June time and I don't know why. Not on any medication or anything so don't know whats happened? Wishing I'd asked the doc when I went for my ultrasound.

Can I ask a Q about temping? The doc told me the best way to do it was rectally but I just couldn't bring myself to stick the thermometer up my bum this morning!!! Do you do it orally and does that work ok?

Never heard of anybody doing it rectally for ttc. Fertility Friend have a really good email course on temping it might be worth you having a look at if you haven't already. I don't temp but i'm guessing as long as you stick to same method all the time its fine.

Genius!

I know this is the daily heil, but I was googling vitamin b6 and conception and found this. It's semi interesting for the most part, but it's the very last sentence I love

On phone so just ( from memory) boo to AF lemon and I think Italy sounds divine . I am mucho of the skiing mrsden, enjoy and hope you clear your head - I find skiing great for that. Temping JN I don't do but was told orally would be fine, it just might not be so accurate. No danger I'd do mine rectally at 6am with OH still in bed .

Sorry for anything I missed!

cakes I did order a digi thermometer ages ago. It's still unused but the instructions said rectal is best. Shudder.

drizzle its disappearance predates the Letrozole but does pretty much coincide with when I started taking agnus castus. As that is known as "nature's Clomid" maybe it has the same effect. I will consult dr google when I get home.

JN mine also dried up at a similar time - around July I think. I've tried preseed since to replace it but I do find it odd that it has disappeared! Oh, and I am defnitely not sticking my thermometer anywhere other than under my tongue. My charts are pretty clear so I have never felt the need to try anywhere else! One tip is to leave the thermometer in place for a few secs before you switch it on. Apparently that is likely to give more stable temps.

mrsd have a great time swooshing down the slopes!