TTC for 10+ months, part 5

[MuddyWellyNelly]

Filled up our old one, I'll put our updated list on a separate post so that it's not a huge chunk of text at the top of every page.

Old thread here. Newbies always welcome, much as we'd like to hope nobody ever gets to this stage of TTC!

Hello ladies, can I join your thread? I've been lurking for a while and you ladies seem like a lovely bunch. I know that you have been in touch with each other for a while but please take pity - I don't think I can cope with a thread where people on cycle 1 obsess about when to do a pregnancy test and complain they just feel so empty when 10 days pre-period due date it is negative!

We've been TTC#1 for 11 months, me 34, DH 33. Turns out that I have a gloriously irregular cycle varying between 14 days and 50. DH very supportive and helping with basic charting to which we are very new and no have decent data arising! (ipad app and potential for graph data makes it interesting, apparently) Awaiting AF (I'm now on day 44) so I can go for first hormone blood test at GP.

Hi everyone and welcome to the newbies!

I'm on cd23 and got my peak on CBFM and it was backed up with a smiley face on digital ov stick so thats a good sign. Only down side is its ridiculously late again....and the fact that my back is buggered is not brilliant! But in the name of ttc i shall give swi a go! Fingers crossed!

We have our clinic appt tomorrow to hopefully start on clomid so im quite excited :)

Haha I love the Honeymoon knowledge! MN really does know everything (see active Convos). Now what about Tanzania and Zanzibar - malaria or not too lazy to Google

Now dresses. I was thinking a neckline a bit like this or this or this - not the colour or skirt shape or anything, but I suit the boatneck style as I have quite toned shoulders/arms from the sporty stuff, without them being shot-putter shoulders . Clearly, this is my "assuming I'm not upduffed" style.

Thoughts please? Promise not to go all Bridezilla on you!

Cross post - welcome to dameflamingo you sound like you understand us very well. If you have lurked for a while you will understand our hatred for those "could I be pregnant" threads - because most often, they are! I guess with long term TTC-ers there is a natural predisposition for us to be on here long enough to be quite an established "group", but I really like that this thread doesn't feel clique-y at all!

izzy I am sure there is a position to suit. On your back, on top, sideways, standing up, sitting down.... could be fun!

I am supposed to be filling in my appraisal paperwork. Can you tell?

Hello dameflamingo oh yes we hate those threads too. And don't get me started on 'pregnant after sterilisation'.

nelly I'm sure the boat necks would look gorgeous with a pair of fabulously toned arms, wish I had some of those, mine are a bit podgy looking at the moment. But yes that style is very elegant and a bit 60s in a classic way. Lovely. And at the kitty!

The oberoi in Mauritius is on my holiday porn list

New thread, wohoo! We do chat a lot :)

nelly wedding planning sounds exciting! As cakes has said there are lots of places in Africa, India etc where you don't need anti-malerials, particularly if you stick to coastal places. Also you can take the milder ones when pregnant. Am excited on your behalf.

ladyg hope the clinic are able to help with your random pain & don't worry about pestering them - that's what they are there for!

stasi pleased to hear you are feeling more positive and fingers crossed for a BFP for you this month.

I totally know what you mean about not being bothered with shag week kitty. For me, I think there really is no point and tbh sometimes I think it's a bit of a relief to think that it'll all be in the doctors' hands, rather than the regimented swi! Guess that's one of the side effects of long term ttc...

karbea how exciting that it's all happening. It's been great to hear about your ivf experiences/preparations and also those of fatima ladyg euro.. You all seem to be dealing with it so well and gives me hope that I too can do it.

euro if our stupid pct was funding any ivf, we'd be at kings too. I think if we self fund they send us to The Bridge. Not great reviews, but seemingly ok results. Would much rather they would just bloody fund it though! So random that it's all postcode dictated and i agree that the age thing is shit nelly

lemons pleased to hear your friend behaved in a respectable manner, unlike some friends mentioned on here. Pregnant people are difficult but I find once I get used to the idea I can bear them stop being insanely jealous

Hello to everyone I've missed and to the new ladies mess and abbi. Back to my evening of tv property porn and chocolate :)

Oops x-post with lots of people!! Love the dresses nelly. They are simple, but stunning. I was after one v much like the second one, but ended up with something quite different in the end.

Welcome to flamingo! Hurrah for de-lurking :)

And hurrah for double-confirmed ov izzy. I do like the smiley face pee sticks.

Hahaha I posted totally the wrong link!!!

Sorry everyone for the confusion, although the kitty was very cute!! I am not planning on making a kitten into my wedding dress

nelly dresses are beautiful but I may be a bit biased - I had a boatneck dress when I got married, with a 1950's style ballerina length skirt - my very clever mum made it for me as a surprise. I only saw it a few days before the big day and it fit perfectly - now that's a skill!

kitty pregnant after sterilisation.. really? how 'about am I being greedy? I have 6 but I just crave one more?' now that is a nice niche thread

Oh my god, I wander off for a few days and there is a new thread and I'm totally behind! Work has been mad busy, it always is in January and my head is not in active ttc mode. It's something I may get to try again at in the summer. Poo! But I have missed you.

pout honestly to your mum. I'm sure it will all sort itself out in the end. And you will look lovely. How did the dress fit? I've got good child bearing hips and small boobs. But I had boobs sewn into my wedding dress! I paid a seamstress to balance things out for about £40. A made to measure dress was out of the question for me in terms of cost and timing, but she did a good job. Game over for me happens at 8dpo. I get words wrong and make spoonerisms. At 9-10 dpo I become EVIL and often my boobs get tender. At any point after this I'm on spotting watch. At 12/13 dpo I cry over something silly like it's the end of the world. The next morning I get a temp crash and af arrives within hours. Pretty much same formula give or take two or three fake symptoms. Groundhog period.

mrsden epic friend fail (hope this isn't too harsh on her) but if it makes you feel better my friends have ranged from good to bobbins. I will classify them into four key categories.

1. The Embarraseds. look concerned and then never mention it again or ask how I am.
2. The Accidentally Thoughtless. ask how I am and listen but also say just relax/there is always adoption/talk about their own cute babies and the wonderfulness of motherhood/tell me to get a dog/look pitiful and glad it isnt them not that I'm paranoid
3. The Grass is Greeners. tell me that kids are a bit rubbish frankly and that I should relish the freedom
4. The Saints. listen, tell me everything will be ok and check how things are off their own back. I only have four of them. One is my mum and one is my husband.

What a bitch I am!

kitty yes to the can't be bothered. This month ovulation sticks and grapefruit juice feel like a silly childish fad! I have no idea what day I'm on, have shagged when it took my fancy, haven't used condoms because I have my own internal mirena. At least it still took my fancy I guess! Lovehoney has been our friend How healthy you've been! I'm on ten units a week. It's the best I can do right now. But well done. You know, it might just tip the scales for a bfp. Did you post purple about the reflexology?

Stasi I liked your post and your thinking. It helped me to read your outlook on why it's taking a while.

good luck to all of you on the ivf path.euro I wasn't wholly truthful about how long we had really really tried. I upped it to get in quick as I felt there was something wrong. As such, I feel like my consultant thinks I'm further along than I feel I really am? But we did ntnp before that I guess. Are you in a similar boat?

nelly I like your new name. And yay to two dress plans! I had metal mouth twice after eating pine nuts. It's a common thing apparently? But it fuelled much mentalling.

lemon sorry about your friend, it hurts doesn't it. A preg announcement broke my heart this month. And now that friend isnt pregnant anymore. That felt just as bad. Ttc is so hard. Hugs to you. I find I get used to it after the shock and I'm ok. I saw a friend and her brand new baby this afternoon and felt fine. There was a lot of crying and vomming! (from the baby )

I'm going to have to go to bed. It's 9. I'm middle aged! I'm sorry if I've missed people and welcome abbicobs

I think this was the one I meant to post earlier

Ah well you get the idea anyway!

The Oberoi does look delicious kitty. I have a weird aversion to Mauritius though - OH went a few years ago to a friends wedding. I couldn't really afford it at the time, and he decided he still wanted to go, so went without me . It has slightly become "the place that shall not be talked of" which is probably a bit silly. It was one of his best friends wedding.

Oo lots of cross posts! Hello gin and LOVE the dresses nelly welcome flamingo we are an open arms friendly lot and at mr flamingo enjoying the mathematical side of ttc.

But nelly and pout I will want to see photos! Look forwards to one day being RL friends. When we are sharing the angst of our future teenage offspring we really should get together for a drink.

God sorry I'm spam posting tonight. Wine I now can't remember if I posted the thing about pine nuts, I meant to! Anyway the weird thing is, last night OH was moaning of a bitter taste in his mouth. Today he sent me a link to a story about pine nuts from China causing that. We had homemade pesto the other day - BUT - I had the metal taste on Monday and Tuesday all day, but we didn't have the pesto till Monday night. So it was a weird co-incidence in this case, and how funny you then mentioned it. Anyway when I checked the cupboard, I discovered the pine nuts actually went out of date in 2010, which might be why he had that bitter taste .

I liked your categorisation of your friends, and no you are not a bitch at all. And don't feel you have to stay away just because you aren't actively TTC - this thread is beyond that now I feel. Unless of course you need the break, in which case we totally understand. Is that the Royal We? But I'm sure I speak for everyone

Absolutely PMSL about that kitten, nelly!

Karbea Glad your scan went well and things are moving quickly for you.

Stasi That's a long time to wait for results. I sympathise as I'm struggling just to get to march for my Op. Jan seems to be dragging ever so slowly. Hopefully, we will all get busy and time will fly by.

Lovelemon Sorry about your lunch. I hate it when I cry on people. Seem to have done a lot of that lately, but it also makes me feel a lot better and relieves tension. Your friend sounds lovely and the sort who'll just be happy to pick up with you when you are ready.

Kitty Thanks, my dad is going through a fairly good patch at the moment. He has Leukaemia but his diagnosis is good as he has reacted extremely well to the drugs. We just have to keep him healthy and off the fatty foods as one of the side effects is fluid on the lungs caused by his body not getting rid of fat like it should. Sometimes I think the side effects are worse than the cancer itself.
I totally understand where you are coming from re what's the point. I did a while ago. Talked it through with DH and decided we would stick with our dd. Even convinced myself of all the things I could do with the money we'd save. Changed my mind the first time I saw a pregnant woman. I looked at her and thought I just want that to be me. I think now that I had just had enough and it was my way of giving myself a break for a while and taking the pressure off.

Ladygee I had these pains for months and they did turn out to be cysts. The consultant explained that although I was producing an egg, it wasn't releasing but forming into a cyst instead. I now have about 13+ on each ovary and I'm waiting for an Op to punch some holes in to get things working again. Having said that I have been pregnant twice and have a lovely little girl. I think you should not worry about what the clinic thinks. If the pain continues, try and get them to do a scan. Also, there was another thread going about cysts where it was mentioned that they can go away by themselves.

Izzy Fingers crossed and at Nelly's position advice. I like it.

Nelly Love both dresses. VEry Classy. Think the kitten might object though. You may have to settle for a ribbon and making it a flower girl kitten.

Welcome to Abbicob and Dame. I'm new too although you wouldn't know it by the massive essay I've just written. I obviously talk too much. I'm loving this thread, there are def none of the 'is it too early to test' brigade on here.

Big wave to Gin and everyone else.

Hi Ladies, can't believe we are on Thread 5 - I remember we started this thread just before I went on holiday back in March last year...And I was excited because i thought that holidays were suppose to encourage bfps. eeeek.

oh wine sorry to hear about your friend. I think i recall you being in bits about it.

lemon - sorry you had to hear of your friend's pregnancy over lunch. It's the most awful feeling.

flamingo - welcome and sorry you are here. Have they found out why you have such irregular cycles? how terrible for you.

karbea - are you still going to the argc? Out of interest do you think one can do ivf without the office finding out?? I'm round the corner from the argc but i'm already plotting as to how I'm going to get work it all in. I'm saving all my holiday this year in case i have to use it for ivf. Fun! Oh and why do you have to have progesterone tests , i thought they just shut your body down so why do they need to know what you do in your normal cycle? Sorry for the ignorance.

kitty - the last couple of months i have been thinking what is the point of swi so am with you on that one.

Loving all this wedding and honeymoon chat!

Hope everyone else is cheerful.

Ha ha! The kitten is hilarious

Thanks for the good ov wishes, hopefully we manage some sort of swi! Im not sure whether it will be tmi to report back tomorrow?!!

It is the china pine nuts nelly my dad had it too. You can get Italian ones in Waitrose they are nicer and look quite different. And they cost twice as much. I'm surprised they aren't a ttc food! I will still be a regular here, you are all good friends now. But I def feel in a very different place now and truth be told I have been a blubbering unhinged, prone to snotty tearful sobbing half wife rather anxious and didn't want to keep droning on. But I'm still getting on with day to day normal things. And they are contained episodes.

I'm now going to go and investigate my ageing stitches with tweezers, much to mr wines horror and protest. I suspect, a month in, that they are not dissolvable. Whilst I have taken his gentle teasing of my frankin-belly in good spirits, enough is enough, I want them gone. Can't face the nurse. Is it just me or does anyone else feel that when all this is over, they will never want to go to the doctors ever again? I've read all their magazines now.

oh hi whatmess - i'm so sorry about your dad. What a horrible extra stress for you on top of the ttc crap.

Forgot to say I was listening to two mums chatting whilst we were waiting to get in to our zumba class tonight. They seem very nice ladies but they were discussing how vile their children were! One of them was saying her daughters were horrible and difficult. So ladies it may all be rosy for our smug friends but give them a few years once the novelty has worn off and their cute little babies learn to say No hahaha evil witch face

Morning lovely ladies.

Hello to dameflamingo - you've found a good home here.

wine - nice to hear from you. I'm sorry things are tough but glad that you will be staying here. And rant/drone on all you need to, it's what we're here for. Sorry about the stitches too - sounds pretty horrid. Couldn't agree more about never seeing a doctor again after all this!

nelly - I love the look of those dresses with the boatneck neckline. So classic and if you have the figure to show it off, then go for it! Loving all the honeymoon talk too...

We went to Tanzania and Zanzibar for our honeymoon and would definitely recommend it. But, unfortunately Tanzania is pretty notorious for malaria (especially the further inland you go for safaris) and Zanzibar is classed as a malarial area too (thought the islanders would debate that!). I did endless research so can share links etc if you decide it's somewhere you want to look at but the malaria might mean that you don't want to.

Thanks to you all for your help with the random pain! It carried on last night but this morning it's totally gone. I wonder if it was a cyst or just painful ov? Either way I'm glad the pain has subsided. I have a scan next Friday anyway so they'll be able to see what it looks like then.

Waves to everyone else

Morning lovelies!

You are all so right about my friend being lovely, and I do think that will make difference in the seeing her during her pg. But as to her being a support, anyone who has gotten pregnant in 2 months, really has little clue. I have some RL friends who struggled (as I mentioned before) so I am banking on them instead for proper support, and of course on DH. We went to the pub to cheer me up, and that was lovely even though I collapsed at 10pm. So I guess that classes him as one of wine's saints. Love the classification scheme. Maybe we can export it to other threads like we did with the euro scale

Sorry about your dad, whatness, even if he is doing okay now. It must be difficult! I like the evil witch face looking at those with small, annoying nay-sayers joycep. Did you have a good zumba class? My exercise regime has given way to pubbage this week, but very little alcohol for me (since his improved SA my admonitions about alcohol and laptops etc wash over my DH without a trace of effect).

Big welcome to abbi and flamingo! Even if we have been here for ages (OMG joycep) we are always very open to newbies, even if it is shit you have to join us. And hating Those Threads is a very common feeling here

Lovely to have you back wine, sorry this is a difficult time for you! Hope we can still cheer you, here. I am loving the honeymoon and wedding dress chat. Loved the dresses, nelly and the cat made me chuckle!

Hope it all worked last night, and on here, I don't think a report on the succes with SWI would be TMI izzy, and even though ovulation is a little late, it is not too bad, compared to some of your cycles!

I would get the pains checked out ladygee, better save than sorry!

Quick waves for pout, mrsd - hope you're okay, karbea, stasi,fatima, gin and all the others (sorry work is claiming too much head space and the rest is TTC and help-treatment stuffed).

X-post with lady, pleased the pain has subsided.

And re: doctors, I never had a great desire to see any of them, and that is only getting stronger the further along the process we go...

But to add to that, I don't think I'll be ever particularly embarrassed at the gyn after this process, and that is very new!!)

Morning Campers! And a big hello to the new people who have found our little hideyhole!

Mauritius and the Oberoi - Please don't hold not going before against Mauritius, I would say that the customer service in Mauritius is far better than any where else either I or my DH have ever been too, both of us have stayed in some pretty gorgeous places and hotels. I would say after a safari it would be the best place in the world to go.

Dresses - I love the style of dress, but what I would say is go into a shop and try on a lot of different styles, dresses you know you would NEVER wear, plus those you think you'd love, you never really know what will suit you best until you try (we don't normally wear things like that, so how are we to know), plus it's fun! For my first wedding I wore something completely different to what i thought I would, in fact for my 2nd I did also (but I got the dress I thought I wanted, but never wore it )

Estradiol & monitoring phase - (E) Yes I guess, I think the monitoring phase is all about seeing how your body works normally, they are looking for clues why you've failed to get pregnant before, this helps them work out how to treat you once you start treatment. Treatment at the ARGC is very bespoke, once you start on drugs you can have twice daily bloodtests and daily/everyother day scans.

ARGC - Umm I guess you could get away with not telling work, depends how happy they are for you to pop out every now and then. ARGC can get busy and they don't always run on time. I think they advise you take off two weeks after eggs have been put back so that you relax.