The all new rat smacketers thread, this way for a 2012 BFP we are BROOKING NO ARGUMENT

[farfallarocks]

Just wrote a blardy long message before getting the 'thread full' message so here we go.................

Nice new fred Far Pretty.

Thank you for your wise words people. Maybe my head will be in a better place tomorrow. It doesn't help that I am having a shitty day at work either and that I feel under the weather.

Will stop being so me me me for now, and watch you other ladies talk about nice things

Hurrah for the new thread! Lets smacket that rat good n proper

Maybe it sounds like he's worried, more than not bothered about kids/has other priorities? I worry about money a lot if I'm honest, and how (if!) we'll manage to both work full time (we are both of a generally tired disposition). Having a dependent is scary mcMary imho so I can sort of see where he might be coming from. Maybe you could try discussing his fears with him and try to get to the bottom of them? You might be able to come up with proactive ways of dealing with them, like maybe would feel more secure and less stressed if you cut back and saved a bit more ££ now, while you're both still working and ttc.

Glad you're feeling better Stasi :)
Admiral goal - I need to spend less time on MN too, but working from home and married to a shift worker, this can sometimes be my only socialising of the day?! which is really sad

Can't decide if I liked Midwife or not bean - it was equal parts sad and saccharine iykwim. And Miranda wasn't even in it

Smegs could it be a belated ov bleed? It sounds very early to be AF, even with a short LP!!

I have been having womby-area (I have to confess I'm a bit unsure quite where all my bits go which is plain embarassing or how big they are, so it could be ovary or general uterus area ) cramps all day. I had them a lot of my last luteal phase too. Too late for ov pains, too early for implantation!

maybe I am so sorry that you are sharing in the Shite DH day, have a martini cocktail on me :) Lets hope they man up soon for all our sakes.

bean he knows how upset I am and has been apologising for being 'crap' and 'useless' all day. So I think my strategy for tonight is not bring it up, take the pressure off totally and see what happens. And then have THE CHAT this weekend when the pressure is off. I just hate the waste of a good egglet but hey ho.

Pop you are totally right, I didn't mean to make him sound like he wasn't bothered about kiddies. He is very money orientated, not in a greedy way, but in that everything always has to be about money. We are both starting to save now too, which I thought would help, but I don't think it has.

All a bit of a mess.

Smegs I agree with everyone, I think this bleed may well be due to ov.

Those pains sound interesting Pop maybe you uterus plumping itslef out ready to meet and greet the egg?

Oh I guess it could be, maybe

That sounds like a good plan far - play it smooooth :o

Does anyone have a tried and tested meatloaf recipe? I was going to give Jamie's a go, but I've never eaten it never mind cooked it, so thought I'd enquire after recommendations :)

Afternoon ladies - just popping in to mark my place in your gorgeous new thread and wish you all well.

Sorry you're having rubbish days Far and Maybe. I know it's really hard when you're long term TTC and DH and I fell out about it often once or twice - mainly when ov fell mid week and he'd get home knackered from work. I just don't think they get the science of it - that the egg pops when it is good and ready, not when they are. So 'tomorrow' just isn't always going to cut it. And I appreciate of course they feel the pressure to perform - I mean ultimately it's them that has to 'do the job' even on a duty shag.

I am still trying to put out of my mind the (quite likely) possibility that we might have conceived this bean when the SWI started with a conversation that included the lines 'I don't care if you're tired, the egg isn't going to wait around for you' (I am oh, so romantic!)

I also don't think DH 'got' just how much time I spent thinking about TTC and how every symptom, or lack of symptom made me think about it.

And who was it had spotting at 1dpo? It's on the old thread and I can't check back! Surely it must be ov related? . Could you be ov'ing today instead?

Smegs and the spotting - sorry

Pop - Jamie's is fab. I can thoroughly recommend.

Just going back to catch up on the other thread.

Cramps - I've been having these a fair bit this week (AF due Friday or Sat). I have no clue what they are but am hoping they are positive. They are sort of like the cramps that I have when having AF but less sore. I am off to google and if I come up with anything concrete, I will post.

What my obsessive googling this month has shown is how everyone is different. Also, lots of posters on other sites are very kind. That is lovely. But sometimes I wish they would say - "No, you're not pregnant you loon and and itchy toe is not a symptom". Then I wouldn't have to spend time obsessing over non-symptoms after benchmarking them with posts on other forums!

Honestly, I'm exhausted OMG IS. THAT. A. SIGN. !!

Chin up lovely. I'm really sorry re your crappy day. Would going out to discuss in a neutral place (thinking out for dinner tonight) help or make things worse? It's so awful this ttc malarky because we're so dependant on lots and lots of factors (including DHs) outwith our control.

It so go against what you are taught at school and university and what works at work - which is generally that you are in charge of your own destiny and if you work very hard then you will hopefully get what you want or a fair approximation. This doesn't work like that and I find it a bit of a mind-fuck to be honest.

I have ordered loads of books of Amazon re fertility etc and am wading my way through them. Like a good girl. However, a 19 year old having a one night stand tonight could have much more or just the same chance of conceiving as 33 year old me after shagging DH every sodding night for 7 nights in a row.

Sorry - just read that back and I sound like flippin' Eeyore. Not helpful.

Please have some cake and wine from me and a very unmumsnetty

No - sounded all right to me grape... Mind-feck is the word for it all.

AF just arrived for me. Weird fucked-up pain on cd18 was not ov then. on cd12 was about right and our SWI was about right at cd10 and cd12.

The doc will have his ear well and truly bent tomorrow at 2.40pm. I want my tubes checked, no argument. SA results are due tomorrow too. If there's nowt wrong with either then I'm simply too old and I'll get on with fostering instead because the mind-fecking is just getting too much.

Don't feel sad, just quite furious, mostly with myself tbh. I was one of those 19yos who conceived on a 1-night stand (broken condom/failed morning after pill) grape. I suppose I did the decent thing by not having a child at that ridiculous age but right now I wished I'd been bolder and gone for it.

Sorry - that was mememememememe and indulgent but I thought I'd get it off my chest before DP comes home.

Hoping that all of you without AF have a bumper-pack of BFPs lined up for us. We need some winners.

How is Munx btw?

xxxxxx

I thought I'd lost you all! I really hope it's an ovulation bleed but it feels AF-y, IYKWIM? I've ov'd very late this month as it is, maybe my aging body is playing silly buggers? Or I'm experiencing early menopause symptoms. Well done smegs, way to cheer yourself up...

I hate to post and run but I have to collect DD from nursery asap. Be back later.

shiny it is good to have you back, you are well clever and sage

bean so so sorry about AF, boooooo You get those checks done and don't think about your 19 year old experience, you certainly did the right thing for you at the time. Its fine to have a me me me post, I have been doing it all day and a more for good measure! Ha!

biscuit hello, I remember your romantic shag chat, just wish my DH would man up a bit. He has the opposite reaction to pressure, he withdraws completely. Bah! Hope the bump is progressing well!

Right I think we can safely say 18th Jan 2012 is NOT a good day for the rat smacketers...............

BTW I'm liking the new rat smacketers name.

Maybe collectively it could be the rat smacketeers? Like sort of buccaneers going after AF......

Sorry, long day, think I need a brew......

Yes - you've got it there far - let's bin 18/02/12. Let's hope this fred is the start of some BFP magic for all. xxx

Well said Shiny

It has been a shitty day all round Far I could murder a glass of wine and dinner with DH. But I am still at work, and will be for at least the next 90 minutes, and he is leaving to go to work in an hour. I feel so so teary, and am struggling to keep it together at work.

I like this idea Biscuits kind of like the 3 muskateers? I love your chat up lines, I am so going to use them for myself

Smegs menopausal? I think not. Just a big egg.

Pop I have never had the Jamie one, but I did make a lovely one from the Two Greedy Italians book. You cook it in a tomato sauce that you can then use to dress some pasta with. Very yummy

Oooh yes, musketeers - that was the other thing I was thinking of - but couldn't quite remember Maybe!

Now, for best effect with my unique patented chat up lines they are best delivered as you're about to get into bed, with a fierce face and at some volume. Preferably with hands on hips on some other suitably alluring pose.....

I can't believe he actually came anywhere near me after that. And I should add Far there were plenty of similar conversations where he didn't 'man up' and I had that 'wasted egg' sort of thought. So he wasn't always super dedicated to the task. Hope you and your DH can have a nice evening building bridges. Even if that means totally ignoring the ttc thing - just have a nice evejning together - I bet you both need a bit of a hug and some .

Maybe what a shame you're going to miss your DH tonight . Can you plan a lovely pamper evening for yourself? Wine, something trashy on tv?

Sorry everyone is having such a rubbish day.

If its any consolation, my DP also feels the pressure sometimes, I can't even pretend that I'm just feeling really horny as he knows he has to perform between 5 and 10 days after my period. But I'm hoping that absence makes the heart grow fonder, seeing as how I'm away for 2 nights this week. It never really worked when we lived in different countries, but I'm hoping this is long enough to miss me but not long enough to get used to me not being around.

bean sorry about AF, but don't regret decisions you made long ago, think of all the things you have done in the last 20 years that you wouldn't have done. Would you still have met DH and had Minibean? Don't be sad.

Love the idea of the rat smackateers, All for one BFP, and one BFP for all

Sorry that should have been bin 18/01/12...

All for one BFP, and one BFP for all.

DP is so lovely. He's still convinced we will get another DC and says why do I think there are fertility rituals practised all over the world? Because it requires unpredictable magic to get up the duff.

Have v nice eves you lot; have a glass of lovely and give all those tricky DH/OHs a hearty snog and a bum squeeze and start a new day tomorrow.

I meant to say to answer your question pop, yes it is a sort of free NHS type health service. I spent yesterday evening reading all about investigations and treatments here. Slightly scary, but also good to know that we will get 3 free goes at IVF. Hopefully we won't ever have to get that far, I'm sure the power of brooking will be a baby in my tummy very soon

(can you tell I'm bored in my hotel room?) I guess you're all watching OBEM, don't think I can get 4OD here. Ok I'll shut up now

Just wanted to check how everyone was really. I got a bit nostalgic for the tic version of the brooking thread with aubers. Seems amazing that it was 30 weeks or so ago.

Both times we've ttc dh had some 'issues'. First time he found it impossible to finish inside me which obviously makes it difficult. Second time he said I was pressurising him so much he just didn't want to when he knew he 'had' to. So I had to be super seductive for 3 periods each month so he wouldn't know which was the 'real' one.

Exhausting. We have however had a nice long break from sex during the last three/four months to make up for it... He's not quite so glad about that.

Hope not TMI!! Sorry for random entering and disclosing.

pomme glowing PSEP are always welcome to drop in and say hi - we might be slightly scary as we all crowd around to touch your lovely bump and get to close in an attempt to steal some pregnancy hormones from you, but don't run away

Oh and surely you know nothing is TMI here!

Oh dear rat smacketers its gone nuclear here.
We were having a nice evening, glass of wine, or so I thought.
Dh says so is it still time? I say err yes? And he freaks out completely, says its too much pressure, he has hated trying for a baby, he thinks we should stop for a bit. I got totally upset, he did not even comfort me and said he thought it was tearing us apart (so basically threatening me with divorce!)

He blardy asked I mean honestly. No sure where to go from here. I can;t imagine not TTC and after everything we have been through. I have told him that I love him and he is the most important thing to me but how he can deliver a message like that and then not even want to talk about it and just blank me. Have I married a psycho? Maybe its better I found out before having a child with this so called man.

Gah! All my friends have willing DHs. I don;t know what to do, I feel like I have self indulgently posted for days now and I don;t really even expect a response anymore. I wish you all the best in your journeys, not sure where this leaves me really :( Good night rat smacketers

Just popping in to mark my place...

Far and Maybe, sorry you're having such rubbish days. I think it's only natural for DH's to have up and down days about TTC, just like us - but remember they don't have lovely MN-ers to share them with, so they just end up taking them out on us :(

Brooking no argument that everyone here has a much better day tomorrow, in every way.

far I'm so sorry. It sounds like he engineered that argument. Really unkind and underhand.

I hope he decides to talk to you like an adult soon, instead of like a moody teenager. ((((hugs))))