The BESH Factor. We're not on a journey or finding ourselves. We just want to win!

[InTheSunshine]

Join us. Not just Saturday nights but every night for fun filled 30 something TTC. Drumroll pliz. Bring out some sexy dancers. We're ready to sing for a win.

And you know Fanny don't you? Better than I do, in fact.

Where the fuck is everyone?

Lurking

I seeeeeee

Do you want some cake?

Yes PLEEESE thank you. I am such a diet failure. It's rapidly becoming clear that I will have to buy an entirely new wardrobe for work. Maybe I should just buy a literal wardrobe and cut eyeholes in it.

Like the emperor's new clothes? That WOULD open some eyes.

When are you planning return to work? And any further thoughts about moving?

More burkha-stylee.

Due back in March. Feels weird to think about it, so am trying not to...

I'm lurking but actually done lots of work this morning
Normal Droidal service resumed after last cycles craziness...started spotting two days before futility fiend says the Droid is coming.

I went to tooooooooooooooown to buy my Mum a birthday card. She is 65 next week and we are taking her to a spa.

I was supposed to be going to a Boden clearance sale today with LadyG but then I checked my bank balance and had to bail. Pfft.

The droid is knocking loudly on my womble. Come the fuck in and stop hurting me little bloody roboid of doom!

or GTF out? I don't know. It's been PMT hell this week.

oh and Rie fanks for all the positive stories you lovely willowy Galadriel like streak of beautiful you

and Sunny for the good SIL story.

I've done absolutely no work for the past week. This morning I made pancakes and bacon.

BESHemian Rhapsody !! Our Queen-theme song: We Are The Champions ('cause we'll keep on fighting til the end...da da da...) I'd change my name to ADayAtTheRaces

March is still a long time away, PD . Plenty of time to refashion all your bedsheets into gowns.

You can't use my droid it's not out yet LP it's still fucking sitting there in my womble HURTING me while it's on it's way.

How are you anyway sweetheart?

Fertility clinic fuckers still haven't decided whether to offer me an appointment - apparently they are still in a meeting trying to decide how to manage all the appointments.

I have just cried at work and have to go to team meeting this afternoon. I just want to go home, although if I do then my niece and nephew will be there to remind me of all that I don't have :(

Get thee to the PESH fred.... Truffs has posted...

Hurrah! Truffers has laid! ANOTHER BESH boybaybee!!

Oops, sorry for the pre-emptive Droid bashing Boo (I'm still all wound up and ready to rumble!)

Thank you for asking Boo . Today both TOM and I are feeling depressed. At least we're good at talking about it together. I'm just feeling so low about the future. Over the past year I've been slowly stepping away from my career in anticipation of becoming a SAHM (my choice completely - something I really want to do and TOM support 100%), which means that I don't have many projects lined up and am now feeling useless. No work, no baybee. My life is looking pretty pointless at the moment. And I'm not sure what to do to jump-start myself back into creative mode.

LP don't suppose fashioning my sheets into work wear would be a useful outlet for your creative energies. No?

Joking aside, it's so hard to take one day at a time with this TTC lark, isn't it? It just seems to put everything else on hold and takes up all the space in one's brain that could otherwise be doing useful things like, I dunno, plotting how to kidnap Johnny Depp.

Oh LP I hear you sister. It's so hard to get back up and fight again after the nth million droid, let alone after an MC. I did catch with smallboo after a MC though - I've read your fertility is higher... don't know how much truth there is in it though. Glad TOM is being so brill.

You can bash my droid now - it's here. An hour after it came I bumped into someone I went to pregnancy yoga with and she was pregnant with her third. I collapsed a bit inwardly and texted Cunty who was ace. BUT then I met a woman who had 3 children - a boy at 41 and OMGTWINZ!!!111!!!11 at 43. So that cheered me right up!

Evening ladies. Sorry I have been missing in action. I have had bumache. No really. I had surgery to remove a benign lump a few years back from down there and it decided to resurface on Tuesday. It was absolute agony. Walking, sitting, moving were all agony. It was like all my nerve endings were concentrated in a little ball between my bum cheeks and screaming whenever I moved. I am finally feeling a bit better today and I think the lump is receding. I really hope so because I don't want more fecking surgery. I have enough drs fiddling around with my fanjo. I don't want others toying with my "exit only" area. Meh.

[BTW, now i have shared this, I don't think we can ever meet. Sozzles.]

I see you have been doing a roll call while I have been away. This is me.

Me 35, Kung-Fu Zombie Killa (KFZK) 36. On cycle 13 of proper trying but had a lax attitude towards contraception for a couple of years before that. Blood tests, ultrasound, HSG and KFZK's spaff tests all normal. On NHS IVF waiting list and seeing private gynae for immunology testing. Private gynae has prescribed me Letrozole (alternative to Clomid) so this is my last unmedicated cycle.

I also wish it could just happen for us like it does for other people. I remember that lovely feeling of trepidation and excitement the first couple of months we were trying and think it would have been lovely it we had managed it back then. But for now, I am just hoping that my bumache improves enough to manage it at all this cycle. I have already threatened KFZK with having to spaff in a pot for me... Sigh. This is not how it is supposed to be.

Laura, I sometimes think that's the hardest bit about having problems TTC. The not knowing what's round the corner. The not knowing whether to hope or not. Shall I book that holiday? Where will I be next Christmas? Shall we stay in this small house or will we ever need another bedroom? I'm so sorry you're low, but it's completely and entirely understandable

Boo, and you can have one too.

And one for Euro too

Sorry about the bumpain.

Thanks. Your generosity knows no bounds.