blue I'm so sorry about AF, bastard thing, how gutting.
angel I am livid for you about your MIL turning up when you weren';t ready for her and REFUSING TO GIVE YOUR BABY BACK!! I think this had touched a nerve as DH's aunt and uncle turned up totally unannounced or invited when DD was a week old. I was appalled. My parents were with us for their first visit. We let the aunt and uncle in (god knows why, flumoxed I think). I'd been trying to feed and it was all still very hard at that point and I was rather exposed, so hastily stuffed boobs away which upset DD. Aunt sits down next to me and requests baby in a way that is more like an instruction. I passed her over, she started yelling. Instead of giving her back, it was "oh, it's just a bit of wind..." Bollocks was it, she'd been swiped away from her mum mid feed and was upset! I took her back and she calmed right down. Then they want more cuddles. I spent an hour watching her being passed around and photographed with everyone except me and I utterly hated it. Just felt too vulnerable to be assertive and demand her back and tell them to sod off. I mean, who, who, just turns up to a house with a week old baby??? They live 2 hours away FFS and were apparently "just passing!" I am still spitting feathers about this.
cheese your MIL sounds atrocious, really sorry you have that to contend with.
jane I love the idea of having Zoe's bear at your wedding, no it's not weird at all.
too so pleased you've found the hb. I doppled most days, it helped me stay sane.
angel you are doing great with the BF. It can be really hard work to establish, - the mum/baby pairings who hit it off straight away with no soreness etc are the lucky ones, the rest of us have to work pretty hard at it. If you can get through the first about 6 weeks it will be a piece of piss thereafter, honestly. I can now feed lying down, half asleep in the middle of the night, and I don't have to wait for a bottle to warm whilst baby screams for milk. Just to give you some incentive/hope!
But I remember the first couple of weeks... each feed took about 90 mins. Latching on required me to hold boob and DH to hold the baby and put her in the right place. I then had to pull her chin open with one hand (recessed jaw, and she didn't ever open her mouth wide enough by herself) and aim my nipple in with the other. Then DH would shove her on 
Once she was fed we would spend up to an hour trying to get her back to sleep. Then we would go to sleep. Then about 1 hour later it would all start again. Oh god and I remember How Much my letdown hurt at the start too. I would curl my toes up, clench all muscles and gasp "fck, fck, fck..." for about 10 secs until it faded away and was ok again.
Tears totally normal! You will get there my friend, hang in there xx
Hideous day today. I was retching in Freya's nappy this morning, - her first poo in 3 days, so the quantity and overflow had to be seen to be believed. Then when clean and ready for her new nappy she piddled all over the change mat. Loads of night wakings last night so very tired and DH and I ended up Having Words at 4.30am. At which point Freya interrupted with copious vomiting all over me. She's grizzled all day. It has rained on my washing. I am just very pissed off and too tired to be mature. I want to throw a strop!
Thank you, feel better for the rant!