Mothers of Angel Babies United - wishing for, some of us pg with and some of us holding our Rainbow babies

[Bluetinkerbell]

Here we go again!
lots of love to all our angel babies! xxx

oh whatever have a ((((((hug)))))) its going to be hard Im sure, just take each day as it comes, this baby isnt a replacement baby, its just another sibling for Katie and Erin. I think thats the hardest thing when losing a baby is that we long to hold them, I think its in our make up as mothers that we have this instinct to hold and cuddle our babies, and we never got that chance properly when they were born. Be gentle with yourself, its ok to feel what you are feeling I guess its part of the process and it will never leave us, but maybe also its comforting to know that your body still misses her? I find a bit of comfort in this, sometimes its like I was never pg and Ophelia's death is some distant horrid nightmare and it never really happened. So to feel I need her is bitter sweet, its so sad to not have her but my body will always remember.

Dear whatever I'm so sorry you're having such a rubbish day. Is there anything you could do to just make today a bit better - it's quite bright and sunny here - would getting out or seeing someone help at all ?

There's a lot of talk on this thread about jinxing things and such like. That's so understandable But I think there's generally so much superstition around pregnancy. I remember getting a little chest of drawers before dd was born, and buying some clothes for her with my Mum which was lovely to do, but being a bit nervous to unwrap them and put them in the drawers because of some mad idea it might be unlucky - What a load of bollocks !

Try not to let any superstitious thoughts hang around and annoy you ?
You can't jinx a pregnancy by thinking of another of your dear children x

Remember you can feel lots of things at the same time/ over the course of a day.
Perhaps find a minute somewhere to recapture a tiny bit of excitement about being pregnant.
Katie will love to meet her new little sister or brother when she/he arrives !

But, I don't know, maybe today is mostly a day to remember Erin.
If so, that's OK too x

Hi there all. whatever maybe it's an Erin day today. That's ok. You are going through a lot. Sunny cold days like today always are Mia days for me, as we did lots of walks last winter. About to do a favourite walk we used to do together, but with a friend. Already had a little cry...

CD21 here. Found FertilityFriend info also very useful.

Oh whatever huge hugs for you and Erin xxx

Thank you so much lovely ladies. I think you're right today is an Erin day. I've had a long look through her memory box, lots more tears, a lovely nap and am feeling a little better now. Off to collect my big girl now - nothing makes me smile like seeing her come out of school, hair wild, cardigan being dragged along with a fistful of pictures and excited chatter

Hi ladies, I can't get back onto the previous page so apologies in advance if I miss anyone out and forget what I have read!!!
whatever sorry you are having such a tough day but glad you are feeling a bit better now.....some days we just need to cry and let it all out. Your little girl sounds just like mine looks coming out of school, hope she enjoyed her trip.
fan cd26, that has gone fast though maybe not for you. Are you planning on poas when af is due or are you hoping to muster up resistance and hold off for longer??? I always started with good intentions but caved every time . Good luck.
blizy enjoy getting down to it
juggling I think we all struggle to let go of 'jinxing' our pregnancies on here and never quite believe we will have the happy ending we so desperatley seek as we have all had the unbelievable happen . I cant speak for all but mine is almost a self protection.
cheese hope the transfusion goes well, keep on striving for braveness my love.
ciwi it must be amazing to be told that baby is big enough to fight his way through should anything crop up now. So excited for you.
too you just keep on daring to think about your baby bean in your arms, she will get there and you will be a fab, totally coping little family.
Sorry if I have missed any other news, my brain has gone blank......
Brought some bottles today in the sale from boots and babygrows from next the day before, had to hide it all from dh as he still doesn't no the sex!!!

Whatever sending you a big squishy hug. Some days you just have to go with it. I love looking through our Georgie's box though I m always in floods of tears. Even though our gorgeous " rainbow" baby is here Georgie time is hers & hers alone I can t do much else for her now but I can allow her some of my time, thoughts & plenty of tears.
Went to " baby massage" today was good. Met up with 3 other mums good to discuss stuff & Phebs seemed to enjoy it.there was a lady there who's got a 15 month old & 6 week old & I found myself thinking that's how old our Georgie would be 15 months. She said he's just started walking & again all I could think was that's what our Georgie should be doing now. As I type this I m crying so I m with you Whatever. Xx

razz I will probably hold out and test when I'm over due. We don't have any sticks in the house and I told dh to leave it that way till we think I am. Otherwise I would be very certain to test to early or like last time test and then af started an hour later.
I am thinking about symptoms, I have had some spells of dry mouth, my hair has got amazingly soft this week, I've been having really crazy dreams and I'm feeling a bit sick. I'm pretty relaxed though, like if its not this month I have a very good feeling for the next couple of months. We shall see.

angelgeorgie Mia and Georgie must have been nearly the same age then...

I am on this thread, but like so many here, I almost don't want to voice any positive indications about the possibility of becoming pregnant again, just in case.

Miaalexandrasmummy my Georgie was born 10/10/10 she would/ should be 15 months old now. When was Mia born? X

Urgh first waves of morning sickness today. The smell of petrol was overwhelming walking Katie to school. Strangely though at least now I feel a bit like I am pregnant.

Thank you so much for all of your support yesterday. What a rollercoaster we're all on.

Fan when is AF due?

Cheese have you thought any more about the iron transfusion?

whatever glad that you feel better today. So many waves of emotions...

angelgeorgie Mia is a little older than Georgie, as she was born on 15 September, so I have just realised that she would be nearly 16 months old now. Like you, I feels so sad yesterday about what Mia is missing out on - saw one of her little NCT friends, and I just so wished I could see them running around together...

whatever Im due at the weekend, not sure when exactly as my AF can be different each month due to my fibroids. But lately I have had 30 day cycles so it should be saturday or sunday. Im glad you are feeling better and more pg, hopefully that will help you feel more pg. Hva etou given your little bean a name yet? I foudn it difficult bonding with Ophelia when I was first pg, so we gave her a name 'bubble', and it really helped me bond with her. I used to sing to her in the car as well, we like to sing coldplay together. I didnt feel her move much as the fibroids impeded that.

Feeling like AF is on its way, very crampy and lower back feelings.

oooh fan :( sorry if it is! thinking of you x

I'm leaning towards having the transfusion, not sure if they want to do it tomorrow or arrange for me to go in next week or something though, we'll see. I just want everything to go right and I am worried about going into labour early too as I have before so having low iron would be bad!

whatever not had a chance to discuss the delivery but plan to at my next appointment, I think a lot will depend on baby size at the next scan and how my blood sugars are looking too as well as iron. They won't want to induce me with such low iron levels. (hugs) I know what you mean, I was thinking just the other night that this baby probably wouldn't even exist had Scarlett not died and it's a very odd feeling. I don't wish this baby away at all but I do wish for Scarlett back. xx

ciwi that is good news, hopefully you can bargain him down to 37 weeks!

Too picturing all going well is good, I'm attempting to do the same! It's hard when I can't even imagine how the birth will be.

Juggling I'm expecting a girl yes :) Jinxing, I worry about that, kind of like if I get too happy or hopeful about this baby then it'll all go wrong again.

angel so true, I've been through worse, I'm such a wuss with anything medical though! It's odd as I'm usually fine during labour and birth. Glad the baby massage went well (hugs) though, it's so hard seeing babies at the same age as what our babies would have been :( Really hits you then doesn't it xx

blizy I hope you'll be joining the pregnant lot soon xx

fanjo how are you getting on now? Really hoping it's your month. I felt like AF was coming but turned out to be pregnant, hope it's the same for you xx

razz I've enjoyed buying some baby bits, it's helped I think :)

MiaAlexandrasmummy Scarlett would have been 13 months old now x

cheese heres hoping. Also good luck with the transfusion, Im sure it will go well. Got to keep yourself healthy for that wee one.

Fan I don't want to give you any false hope but like Cheese I distinctly remember commenting to dp on new years eve that I just knew AF was on it's way. A few days later I had the bfp.

Good luck tomorrow Cheese fwiw I think you are making the right decision having the transfusion. You need to be as strong as you can be. Ive been thinking the same thing about this baby - we never intended to have more than 2 so by rights this baby should never have been. I think it will feel especially strange if it turns out to be a boy as I feel I should have been a mum to just 2 little girls. Not that I wouldn't be thrilled with a boy.

Waves to all hope everyone is doing okay.

When does it get easier being around newborns? Am out with Katie at soft play and just had to move seats as a lady came and sat down with the most beautiful little girl about 6 weeks old. She was wearing a hungry caterpillar babygro, we had bought the same one for Erin it's still in her wardrobe. I could feel tears pricking and had to move away. Am quite sure she thinks im a bit of a loon.

Fan I was the same. Spent a night crying cause I thought my period was coming and then bang, got the bfp. I suppose we just start doubting the capabilities of our bodies. Fingers crossed it's not, but if it is then it's a case of counting again x

Fan I was the same. Spent a night crying cause I thought I was getting af and then got my bfp a few days later. Fingers crossed it's not, but if it is then you know where you're at x

Stupid mumsnet connection!!!

Yeh, in my experience you never can tell
( maybe some folks can, but I never could )

whatever long live the loons! You are not alone. I cried on holiday, coming back from the pool, all of a sudden. Sure the hotel staff and the other guests thought I was totally bonkers...

Hi everyone, my house is a total mess, was getting the ceiling plastered in our bedroom as it had cracks in it and as he was preparing it the whole thing fell down! It's taken 2 days for them to fix it and all our stuff is squashed into the spare room in the meantime. Not helped by the fact we were having a wardrobe and chest of drawers delivered on wed, they have had to go in the bathroom! we now need to wait for the plaster to dry and then decorate so god knows how long we will be squashed into the spare room for. It's driving me mad but distracting me from stressing about the baby at least I suppose.
whatever we lost Ciaran 15 months ago now and I am still uncomfortable if I unexpectedly see a baby if that makes sense. A couple of friends have had babies since and I have been ok with them because I was prepared to see them and went when I was having a good day. I think babies will always remind us of our losses to some degree but I think the pain that you feel in the earlier days gets better x
fan I really hope this is your month but if not, it will happen for you, just remember that. If I have learned one thing over the past year or so it's that we can't control when we are blessed with our rainbows, they will come to us when they and we are ready x
cheese good for you with the transfusion, your count is low, I am surprised you don't feel dreadful.
Waves to everyone else x

Ah Ciwi that's it exactly it's the unexpectedness of it. I wasn't prepared, I've seen, even held my friends babies but I know that was coming. I just turned and there she was yawning and stretching in the babygrow I imagined Erin in. Sorry to hear about your plastering nightmare, glad it's distracting you but hope it's sorted soon.

Miasmummy I often wonder what people think when they see us randomly crying but know that most people would totally understand if they knew.

Cheese I hope all goes well tomorrow. Will be thinking of you xx

Fan I hope AF stays away xx