Mothers of Angel Babies United - wishing for, some of us pg with and some of us holding our Rainbow babies

[Bluetinkerbell]

Here we go again!
lots of love to all our angel babies! xxx

Morning all
angel hope you had a nice few days away and were pampered and spoilt.
fan yes, I think all of us will have changed in some way even if it is small. The 'it would never happen to me' bubble is truly burst. With me I can no longer be bothered to pretend if that makes sense or bother myself with petty goings on (you wait till you are at the school gates!!). Also, I have found that I have a lot less 'special' friends than I used to believe. The wood was well seperated from the chaff (is that the expression???) when I lost Thomas and there are still people I am quite pissed off with and do not feel I can pretend not to be. There have been some positives to the 'new me' also though, I have made changes to my and my families lives that I would not have done had life been different. My priorities are a lot more ordered now. I am certainly tougher.
jane hope your day was magical (along with the night).

Hope dachs and blue are okay, they dont seem to have been about for a bit

Ha ha angel think I just hate it because it's telling me to do something that I would be doing all the time if I could. Like 'stay positive' oh, ok, thanks, I hadnt thought of that, I will be fine now iykwim. I am trying to focus on the one day at a time thing but sometimes it's just too hard. I am also focusing on the fact that this stage with Ciaran I was already in hospital and things were not looking good. While this time things look fine and I have had detailed scans etc.
fan I have definitely changed, I was always a worrier over stupid things like money, what people thought of me etc. Now I don't give a stuff and worry a lot less over trivial things though I am still a worrier re pregnancy. I also couldn't care less about work and have changed jobs to do one I like rather than one that pays better. I think things like this do change you forever.
Hope everyone has a nice Sunday, I have a nice day planned starting with making (and then eating) chocolate orange cake. On nights tonight though so that always puts a bit of a downer on the day. Will take some cake with me to cheer me up :)

Hi all, just thought I'd stick a wee post on. Back from our 2 week stress break and feel really relaxed. I'll be 10 wks tomorrow and trying to remain calm about the pregnancy. I've asked my work for some support and to be taken off the shifts. They were really nice (could this be something to do with the upheld grievance??) and I'm off to see occ health on Thursday. Quite relieved about the contact though. I've been keeping ok other than constipation !
Angel hope you enjoyed your wee break and that you and Phoebe were spoiled rotten x
I'm definitely changed after losing Ruby. I don't speak to my brother anymore for various reasons surrounding my loss. Before, I would have tried to sort it out to make my mum happy but I've told her that I'm not doing it this time. She's said that it's between me and him. I'm still waiting on a phonecall to ask how I am after the miscarriage! I haven't told him I'm pregnant and I'm fairly chilled about it. It is what it is and I'm not running to him.
Jane big congrats Mrs. Hope you had a wonderful day xxx
Hope everyone else is doing ok xxx

Indeed I ve changed after loosing Georgie. I realise now how precious & fragile life is. As most of my family spend a lot of time traipsing up & down the M1 that scares me more than it used to. I ve gained many good friends & lost a few crap ones. The overall support we have had had been totally wonderful. I feel enriched for having had Georgie( that's on a good day, on a bad day can only see the negatives)
I ve always been confident & hard faced anyhow but loosing Georgie certainly made me focus on my priorities & it's sped up the process of moving closet to my family.
Had a lovely few days , just going home now. Things bad with me & ant ( I 'd quite happily divorce him now) he didn t get to my mums to late Friday night ( wad working Friday) , out from 12-10 yesterday at the football ( which I knew about) then came in pissed.( had done the same last weekend) then didn t get up to 11 this am when I ' d been up twice for 2 hours a time in the night.
This of course, all done at my parents house, causes them to grumble( ii used to defend him but no more).
It's this lack of care , lack of showing me he loves me. He doesn't talk unless I make conversation. Says all the right things " love u" etc.... But doesn t act it.Am
Beyond mad with him just can t be arsed any more. Can really see this being the end of the road for us & quite frankly I don t care
Phoebe is fine being spooky rotten by aunties, uncles & grandparents!!!
Hope all are well??? Xxxx

" being spooky" what's that???
I phone crap for typing!!!
Phase that drove me mad said to me by someone's who's got 3 kids " these things happen for a reason" oh right I ll tell u that when 1 of your kids dies then??? What reason would that be then????
What a loaf of shite??? What reason is there for a perfect / perfectly formed baby dying????
This is 1 of Ant's friends (figures) I ve avoided him since!!! But , will keep that comment in my mind for him when relevant!!!

hi all, I'm still here! Lurking away! Very tired and very busy at work and trying not to get stressed with ttc, which is very difficult! will catch up soon I promise!

Oh Angel, hope this is just a new baby relationship blip and everything works out for you! You two have been through so much together that I'm sure he does love you, he's just not showing it very well just now. Hope he shapes up soon. Good to hear Phoebe is fine.

I have changed a bit...think I stand up for myself a bit more than I used to, and I am a bit more outspoken at work, as well, if I see something not going right. I find it very frustrating that so many people won't speak out to a senior manager, not even politely. They just sit back going oh well, they're the boss and it'll be all their fault when this fails. I think that's cowardice. You don't have to be rude to explain your point of view.

Hi Mel, your stress break sounds lovely! I want one! Stony broke just now, though. Glad you're doing ok.

We ordered Thea's headstone this week - it is fairly similar to Blue's in that it isn't a standard headstone from a memorial mason, it is a flat slate. I've tried to link a pic - this isn't the final one, it's a mock-up and we went for slightly different wording in the end. Left out the 'forever in our hearts' bit and just had name, date, 'beloved daughter and sister' and the prayer quote. It should arrive in a couple of weeks.

angel Im sorry things are a bit difficult at the moment. It does seem to take some men a while to adjust to the changes that a baby brings (us woman just have to learn as we go). There have been times over the years when I could quite happily of left dh much to my mums aghast!! I actually threw all of his clothes onto the drive when dd was 9 weeks old. A turning point for us came when he was made redundant and I took on more hours at work and he was the one mainly at home. We were also fostering at the time and he developed a new found respect for me and all that I had to do each day to keep everything going. I imagine you have already told him how you feel, what was his response?? I do hope things start to settle for you all soon.
blue glad you are still about. Have you moved yet?
too glad you have got Thea's headstone sorted out, Im sure it is lovely, will have a look when you post the link
mel 10 weeks already!! Time goes so fast though probably not for you. Do you have a 12 week scan date yet??

Grr, complete failure to upload picture! No idea why it didn't work. Have loaded it to my profile twice and it hasn't stuck. Will try again later.

Razz, wow, you threw his clothes outside! Respect.

Oh, the fact I didn't click Store might have something to do with it! If you click on my profile you should be able to see the picture. The one we actually ordered is grey slate with white writing, not sandstone, but it will look very similar. The quote comes from a Baha'i prayer Grandma taught me when I was little.

Too it's beautiful! Perfect for Thea

Too its perfect! And she was beautiful.

Angel I hope things work out for you, I hope its just a blip like the others have said. Rant it all out on here hun, it may help to write it down to see it all from a different perspective.

Im feeling a bit Bleughhh to day think Im coming down with something, was supposed to see my Nan today but I have to cancel as shes got lots wrong with her and its not fair to pass anything bugs on to her, her immune system isnt that good. Oh well if I still feel like this friday then at least I have a doctors appointment to discuss it at. Anyway AF is still on going and its 20 something days now, this sucks!

Blue it will happen hun, soon Im sure. Try not to stress (never know why I say that as the more you get told it the more you stress I feel!)

Mel I sorry to hear that your relationship with your brother is that low, its so hard when siblings dont talk, I dont feel as close to my brother now either after Ophelias death, I tried to get some support from him over my mums reaction and all I got from him was 'remember shes lost her first grandchild too' and to be honest thats not what I wanted to hear I wanted him to say, I know sis its hard and shall I have a word with her for you, tell her to back off a bit and cry to me and not you. I thought as we had grown up together that he of all people would get that.

I am now Mrs B . We both had the most amazing day and loved every second of it! We are off to a posh hotel tomorrow for a a few days, so I will catch up later in the week. Hope you are all ok xx

Congratulations mrs B, really pleased you had a fab day. Enjoy your posh hotel, though Im sure you dont need me to tell you that xx

too have just looked at the stone, so lovely. Also seen the picture of you and Thea, she is gorgeous. I feel truly choked now.

Thank you all, it means so much to have people say she was beautiful.

Fan, that you aren't feeling well. Am looking forward to Fri for you - I really hope the doctor will be able to give you some answers. Life is hard enough without weird ongoing spotting/AF to deal with.

Mrs B! Have a lovely time in the posh hotel! Is that your honeymoon, or will you do that later on? We waited 3 months for ours so we could go in June.

too the stone is Beautiful, as is the photo of you and Thea. We are going on our proper honeymoon in march/april, hopefully to vegas and NY.
I have added a pic of DH and I to my profile. xx

jane or mrsB already saw some pics on FB you looked absolutely stunning! so happy for you both! wishing you lots of happiness a BFP... and lots of happiness too of course

Vegas, baby! That sounds great, Jane. Have had a peek at your profile pic and at FB - you look lovely and so happy! I love the picture with the confetti raining down on you both. Love the kilts - was there ceilidh dancing? I adore ceilidhs. DH is a bit crap being English, but he tries. I like how you have changed your name already on FB!

:( no success...

jane Im not on FB but have had a peep at your profile page...you look so very happy, really lovely.
Think I may post a picture of my bump, it is really huge at almost 19 weeks!! Is anyone else feeling massive??? I have only (just) put on 2/3lb but seriously I am a whale!!!!

jane have a great time on your honeymoon.

I phoned the docs this morning and got put on the triage list so I could get a chat with a doc and well I am going to pick up some stop the af pills in a mo. He said to keep the appointment on friday as he thinks I need another scan to see if the fibroids are acting up, so at least somethin gis happeneing now.

Oh good, fan, glad to hear it! Hope the pills work quickly.

Fan that's good news. Something getting done for you at last.
Razz I just feel really fat at the minute as I'm only 10 weeks but get the feeling that I'm going to be massive this pregnancy. I think they say that though.

Razz, I also feel like a whale. Have not been near the scales since the booking in appt, though - that way madness lies. Magic bf diet...