Mothers of Angel Babies United - wishing for, some of us pg with and some of us holding our Rainbow babies

[Bluetinkerbell]

Here we go again!
lots of love to all our angel babies! xxx

fanjo love the new name lol :o

Ciwi I was so worried but very relieved that all was well. I've never got stretch marks on my stomach but I have done under my boobs, I'm sure I have a new one or two already also. They've grown a lot in the past couple of weeks and I'm leaking already.

razz glad you've been feeling more movement now :)

My ex today called Scarlett a miscarriage, I'm angry and shocked all at once. Cannot believe how insensitive and self absorbed that man is. I put him straight but he didn't bother responding. As far as I'm concerned he can apologise and until then I'm not having contact with him. Dd1 refuses to see or speak to him (long story) so only ds1 and ds2 see him once a fortnight. He was abusive and that's another long story, which he denies even though the children saw him and there are still holes in one door...The man is deluded and proven that time and time again. Just totally had enough, that he thinks he's being reasonable is laughable too. Guess he's forgotten the harassment warning he got from the police or when social services advised me to stop the children having contact with him. He even blames me for that...Deluded.

cheese some peopl are just evil, my biological father was the same a wife beater! I have never had contact with him, my Step dad is my real dad now.

Just call me fan

cheese He is a horrible, horrible person. You are a better person to rise above it. There is no wonder your dd doesn't want to see him. hope you are ok?

Cheese I see this all too often at my work and know the heartache this can cause to you and all of your family. Positive thought is that he is your ex for a reason and you're better than him. Hope you find the strength to ignore the ars•.
Jane it's nearly time!
Hope you're calm and excited at the sane time. Woohoo!

Thanks, feeling a lot better now, definitely right that he's ex for a reason! I don't know what goes through his head though, dds1 hasn't seen him for about a year (other than 1 day) and he sent her a text asking her if she wanted to go out to dinner with him and his new girlfriend! I mean, WTAF? Really?! She doesn't even want to see him let alone a woman he's known for 2 months...2 months and he said it's a serious relationship and has already introduced ds1 and ds2 to her and her son. She must be odd too to think that's ok. It's not a very long time though is it? Sigh.

Anyway :o Had midwife appointment just now, blood pressure was nice and low at 98/58 lol but did have +1 glucose in urine so she asked me to call the hospital and speak to the diabetic team, waiting on a call back from them now. Everything else was fine though. My midwife said that her daughter lost a baby at full term last year too and is pregnant again, so she was asking if I'm anxious now, chatted about that for a bit. I think she might be the woman that lost her baby days after us last year. My midwife at the time told dh that someone else had lost a baby too when she came to pick up all the homebirth kit. :(

Freezing here today, managed to get some shopping earlier but it was so busy! Got some selection boxes for the children at buy 1 get 2 free which was a bargain! Hope everyone's having a good day xx

Ohhh, I haven't done any Christmas shopping yet! Your ex sounds awful, Cheese. Glad you aren't with him any more. Hope your + glucose turns out to be ok.

I am so hungry! Have already scoffed a square of lamb pie, and am going to have toast now . Oh well, the magic breastfeeding diet will get rid of it all for me.

Morning girls!

I have done most of my christmas shopping just a few more to get, Im one of those annoying people who likes to get it all done and dusted before December.

cheese glad to hear your BP is low and I hope your glucose levels get sorted.

Too you little piggy

I am really fed up I want this spotting to STOP! also Ive woken up with side back ache, I must have pulled it some how last night. One more week to go untill the Doc's!

Hello!

I am waiting for the MW to arrive, and I have just called in sick to work . I really have been ridiculously exhausted this week and getting home so tired I want to cry, and having lots of headaches. However, a major factor in the decision to call in sick is the fact that Mum and stepfather are coming to stay tonight and we have been having a mice infestation and although we have killed lots of mice I have not yet hoovered up their horrible little leavings. Work has just started a new scheme where you have to call a nurse if you phone in sick, so I did, and she was very very nice and said it might be a hangover from my flu jab and that it's not normal to be that tired. People being nice to me when I'm malingering make me want to cry!

Fan, early Christmas shoppers scare me! I am highly disorganised. I was having a disagreement with a work friend the other day about Christmas cards she likes to send hers all out on 30 Nov, whereas I, to my shame, have never yet posted a Christmas card. I manage to distribute them at work on about Dec 20th, usually, and I generally buy them and write them, but I am yet to remember to post them. I think work might object to a couple of dozen red envelopes appearing in the outgoing mail!

too I am scary! I am very organised when it comes to crimbo, I start writing lists in August and start hunting the web for bargains, then I usually do all the buying Oct-Nov. I dont really send Crimbo cards, just to the people I cant say Merry christmas to in person, Im a bit of an Environmentalist and beleive that if you can say or phone someone to say it its better than a card. I never give cards out at work, I make a merry Christmas cake for everyone to enjoy.
(I know this is making me sound super organised and like a stepford wife but Im not. honest)

If you cant use your 'Im pregnant card' At least once during you pregnancy then its not worth it lol. And if you were crying last night then you deserve some time off, its bound to be stressful.

Now get cleaning up that mice poo!

Grr, MN crashed and lost my post!

The MW didn't turn up , so I have called the practice and someone else is coming out to see me today instead. I need someone professional to calm me and DH down - even though I can feel lots of movement I'm still a bit freaked out by Monday's scan and I just want someone to tell me everything is ok. I had a panic last night because I hadn't felt anything, and infected DH so much (despite finding the hb on the doppler and then feeling lots of kicks) that he had a meltdown on the way to work and cried. He calmed down, went into work, and then welled up when someone asked him how he was, so he was sent home. I need that MW to come and reassure us both!

I have failed to clean any mouse poo . I have been engaged in heavy procrastination instead (the sort that includes cleaning the glass front of the oven instead of getting the hoover out). I will go and hoover very soon...

oh too you poor love, give me the practices number and I shall give them a good telling off on your behalf.

ok really fucked off now, cant change my appointment Im not termed emergency enough! So have to wait and now its like AF again! I hope Im not going to flood, I cant stand being aenemic again.

too I know how you feel, I have spent the last couple of days in near meltdown. I have felt the baby but because his kicks arent big enough to nearly jump out of my tummy it's not reassuring me enough. On top of that my ankles are swelling on and off which is making me freak out about pre eclampsia even though my blood pressure is fine and I only had a doppler scan on Monday that showed no signs of it. I feel like the stress is really getting to me now, I am just so scared that I will lose this baby too. I wish someone could just put me to sleep and wake me up when it's time to give birth.
fan I am not surprised you are fed up, it's ridiculous that you still have a week to wait for an appointment.
Sorry for not replying to everyone, I am struggling right now, can't stop crying.

Oh ciwi, really feel for you, nothing I can say will make you stop worrying I know . Just keep reminding yourself what a bruiser you are growing (really well) in there. My fingers are puffy so it can be a natural side effect of pregnancy. Concentrate on all of the positives you have listed in your post, ie, reasons you no things are fine. Hugs your way.
Hope the diabetic nurse got back to you cheese and sorted things out.
too good for you taking the day off work, I had my flu jab yesterday, gosh my arm is sore!!! Why did your MW not turn up????
fan (I still feel the need to call you green....not good with change!!) I am sorry you are still bleeding and stunned knowone could see you sooner. Well done on all the xmas shopping
jane loads of best wishes for you tomorrow, enjoy your day, Im sure it will be truly magical xxxx

Been shopping today and am sooooo exhausted.....could fall asleep right now but ds desperate to watch children in need.....

Oh yes, good luck and best wishes for tomorrow, Jane! Hope it all goes marvellously! xxx

Morning girls, did I mention I m getting married today?

Hope you are all ok xx

Have a fabulous day Jane! xx

Big hugs to you too and ciwi, it can be bloody awful being pg again xx

Jane, have a lovely day - it's glorious sunshine here, so I hope it is for you too.

Oh Fan, , you poor thing. at your GP. Is it still like AF or has it tapered off again? Maybe eat lots of red meat and broccoli just in case!

Ciwi, that is exactly what I was saying to DH yesterday - that I wished I could just be put to sleep until March! It's getting really hard to take the uncertainty and the bigger Bean gets, the more I want her to live. I don't think either DH or I could take another stillbirth without cracking up. We're f*cked up enough by one. How am I going to live through the next 3 and a half months?

The MW who came yesterday was v nice and efficient - BP 110/76, urine clear, heartbeat fine. She also felt the fundal height for the first time - didn't measure it, but just felt to see if my womb was above my tummy button, which it is. I told her about the tiredness and she took a blood sample to see if I'm anaemic. I take the Tesco pregnancy supplement, though, which has iron in it, so I'll be surprised if it's anaemia. I think it's probably just the stress of the 20 week scan and the abnormal kidney. I was feeling quite chipper on top but I think the sub-conscious worry was eating away at my energy levels. Turned out my MW was on holiday, Razz! She must have mixed up her weeks when she was making the appt. My fingers get puffy when I'm hot or have been for a long walk. I'll probably have to take my engagement ring off before the end - it's a wee bit smaller than my wedding ring and I don't want it getting stuck.

If anyone is feeling down, I urge, nay, order you to read this

too that is hillarious! Thanks for making me laugh.
I am feeling a bit better today. I am 23+1 and we lost Ciaran at 24 weeks so I always thought that this stage of pregnancy would be hard. Been keeping myself busy decorating the spare room, tired myself out though so think I will just chill for the rest of the day.
Jane I know you won't be on here today but I hope you are having a wonderful time and cant wait to hear all about it x
razz thanks for the kind words yesterday x

Ciwi, I'm not surprised you are feeling the strain at the moment. Do you have any more scans/MW appts this week to reassure you? I am very glad that I won't be allowed to go anywhere near 41+2 with Bean - it must be awful to have to live through that same time again. Have a rest and put your feet up.

DH presented me with a conundrum today. He says that he hates it when people say 'don't worry', because it is not that simple. What can you say instead? He suggested 'try to stay positive'. What do you think?

too I hate stay positive it gets on my nerves, can't really explain why. I prefer that people just acknowledge that I will be worried and tell me that things will be ok (even though I know they can't know that for definite) think other people's positivity rubs off on me. I have a midwife appointment on wednesday, wish I had asked for a scan now but I know I dont really need one, am having them every 4 weeks anyway and can feel him move.

Jane. happy , belated , wedding day!!
Ciwi " stay positive. You can & will get there. I m sure / hope you start to feel better after you ve passed your " milestone". It's incredibly hard but every day is 1 day closer to your heart's desire. I wish I could impart some pearls of wisdom but unfortunately I can t other than it's really hard work; mentally & emotionally & just take 1 day at a time. That helped me but I know exactly where you re coming from.
Love to all, particularly preggos !!!! Xxxx

Oops!!! Just re read your post Ciwi scrap " stay positive" remark!!!! Mummy brain!!!

ciwi I guess its just one day at a time for you hun, as it will be for all of us. I remember reading CazandBelle's blog and and she said how she had been through the worst thing possible and that she had come out the other side and she had arranged what she would do if her pregnancy didnt end well and she had to bury another baby, I remember reading and thinking what we all have to go through when we get to that stage. Not many mothers will think like this but we know the reality and its not nice or pretty. I guess what Im trying to say is. you are a strong person (as we all are here) you hve lost the most precious thing in the world and you have chosen to try again that is so brave. I agree about the staying positive its a phase that would get on my tits, just get through each day and think how its making you stronger and the wee man.

Do any of you girls now feel different after what we have been through? I find that I am alot more confident, I really dont care what other people think. I will say what I mean now more readliy than I did before, I feel a little bit hardened by what we've been through. Like going to the doctors this friday, I have not qualms about telling her everything thats pissing me off about this long ass AF but also I will not be taking any palming off!

jane I hope yesterday was everything you had hoped and imagined. Your now a married woman!!!!!!! Woooohooooo cant wait to see your pics!