Waiting to try to conceive

[Amonstercooper]

Another thread for those who are waiting to try for a baby. It doesn't matter how long or short the wait; why you are waiting; or how many DC you have. All are welcome.

Old thread here.

leftwing, surely if you qualify in two month's time, you will definitely qualify in 9 months' time (if you were to get pregnant straight away). If that's the case, I can't really see a reason to hold back.

I admire those of you studying. My friend had a baby last year, before the final year of her degree. She's coping wonderfully, but I just couldn't do it myself.

Two days until my consultant appointment...

Thanks for the welcome back! Lots of new names on the thread, which is great but I think it's going to take some time to catch up and work out who everyone is!

We are also in a 2 bed flat but we have a lift and dont really make much use of the second bedroom. There are communal gardens but it's not the same as your own back garden. Still not to worry!

In terms of pre-TTC prep, come off the pill (or not if you want to try for the fertility surge), dental checkup (gums soften in pg), smear test, rubella antibody test, folic acid, cut down on caffeine, enjoy lots of indulgences you will have to forego while pg.

Thanks for the tips leftwing. It hadn't actually occurred to me that you should go to the doctors for any kind of checkup, but thinking about it, it has probably been a couple of years since I had a smear. Will they still be able to do it if there is even a small chance you could already be pregnant?

Rubella should be fine I think as I was vaccinated against it at school.

Do you need to specifically tell the dentists you are planning to TTC soon? I had a regular check up not long ago.

Bugsey I took a gap year out last time I was pregnant (was unplanned), however this year at uni, while being harder than without a kid, it's been easier than I was expecting! My pregnancy last time was a very easy one, apart from low energy, so fingers crossed for the same! It's a 3 year course, just finishing of my second year, starting my final year in September!

So exciting your doing your masters, what's it in if you don't mind me asking?

How funny that we all have the same idea with regards to getting pg then graduating sparkly and bugsey. I have a 14 month DS and graduate next May. Also had a gap year after my first year for my surprise little boy, so your descriptions sounding scarily like mine sparkly Glad Im not the only one insane enough to be trying so soon.

Thanks for the tips leftwing hadn't thought about dental check up. very jealous of the lift in your flat! That will be a massive help and removes the biggest worries of living in a flat with a baby.

Fingers crossed for consultant disco hope all goes well.

No baby here. AF got me and after being pretty upset for a morning I was relieved and determined to be alot more careful until September. only 4 more months of patch to go. I can surely control my hormones for that long!

Bugsy, it's worth getting the doc to check your rubella immunity because in some people it doesn't last even if they had it at school. Smears can be done during pregnancy. It's the woman's choice really. I'm on early repeats so chose to wait until after the birth. Think I'm due one actually.

I've never known anyone with the post pill fertility surge. It took my body four months to even produce a normal cycle last time, hence having ditched it in January.

Thanks pink, and sorry you had the AF upset.

Discowomb I've never known anyone it's worked for either! In terms of my maternity pay, I'll qualify if I've been there 12 months by the 11th week before EDD, so I have to wait till June to TTC. It's the only good reason to keep waiting now.

MrsBugsy no you just need a normal check up to make sure you don't have any gum disease. Smears can be done during pg but any abnormalities might have to wait for treatment. Rubella may need a booster.

Hi everyone,

It seemed a lot of skulkers were coming out of the woodwork so I thought I'd do the same.

I feel a little silly as I'm only 24 and it would be an absolute disaster if I was pregnant, but it's all I can think about! Before this year, I was never broody and I didn't really understand what all the fuss was about. I'm really lucky though - my fiance caught me snooping on this board and was really understanding about it, if somewhat surprised. On the other hand he did say he really can't see us being in a position to TTC until we're both 28.... he's being totally reasonable, and I know he's right, but all I can think is FOUR YEARS?!?!?!?!

I'm a little bit worried that my subconscious may be intereferring as well - I've NEVER been bad about taking the pill on time, and now virtually every month I'm missing one because I forget to take it with me somewhere. Has anyone else found themselves doing that?

Sorry for the rant, have been needing to get this out of my system a while and there's nobody I can talk to about this.

buttons it's definetly nice to know I'm not the only insane one! Our stories do sound scarily similar. My DD is 14 months old as well! It's really weird this.time around, all the planning and preparations. Can't imagine how different it'll be with 2. Never thought I'd be longing for the summer break to end!

Hello ladies :)

I've been on MN for years but have only just found this thread.

I'm 35, my DP is 5 years younger than me and we're waiting to ttc mainly because I have some health issues including PCOS which mean I will need help conceiving and I'm trying to lose weight so that can happen.

I always thought I'd be a mum by now, but it took me a long time to find the right man and when I did life threw me a curveball in the form of needing major surgery and various other illnesses.

I will need special care during my pregnancy to make sure nothing goes wrong with my other conditions (which I don't want to go into detail about as it will out me to anyone in RL) and the whole pregnancy/labour bit scares me especially as it has to be planned and not spontaneous.

So here I am...

I'm worried how the hell we're going to afford it as we both have debt and are rubbish with money. When my health and I was low I spent a lot of money on clothes and things to try and make me feel better.

I also tend to be a bit of a workaholic and want a promotion this year so don't know how that's going to fit in!

So there it is....

Crazychemist I've read that women can subconsciously but deliberately forget pills when they are really broody. I certainly found after years of dutifully taking them like clockwork, I was suddenly making mistakes and missing them. I certainly wasn't intentionally "forgetting". I quit the pill in the end because I was feeling so sad about having to take a pill every day to prevent the very thing I wanted most. Four years is a very long time to wait, particularly when you're only 24 - time seems to pass quicker as you get older, generally speaking. It's good to start planning it early, so you both have plenty of time to come round to the idea. I wish I'd started putting the idea to DH a bit sooner!

AuntieMaggie welcome to the thread! Your catalogue of concerns certainly put my worries about my job security into perspective. How does your DP feel about it all? Is he sorry to have to wait, or is it good timing for him as he's a bit younger?

We're all scared shitless of pg and labour, so you're in good company here! I can't believe you never found the thread before now, it's been very helpful to me over the years.

Bloody hell I just realised that if DH had given in to my TTC whims when I first got the baby bug, we could have a 2 year old by now!

Thanks leftwingharpie

DP loves kids and is really broody at times so is sorry to have to wait.

Ironically I've always been crap at taking my pill but am now really good at it!

You are very fortunate there, it's usually the men who aren't so keen.

Welcome auntie. I kind of get where you are coming from, having had to come of meds to TTC. It's a shame when you can't just relax and let it all happen, but the end product is still amazing. I had a highly managed pregnancy, finally got signed off for a birth centre in the late stages, the she went and came too soon, so I ended up on the labour ward with a highly managed birth too. All best plans and all that!. I hope when you finally get to TTC it happens quickly and that your pregnancy is so smooth it surprises you.

wow this thread is getting busy!

sparkly my masters is in the social sciences, I don't want to say the exact title in case I out myself. It's good to hear from you and buttons that the whole 'pregnant at uni' thing isn't necessarily a disaster. Do you mind if I ask you both how old you are?

Thanks all for the tip about getting a rubella booster.

I don't mind the idea of pregnancy, in fact I have romantic delusions of myself floating around in glamorous maternity dresses and being offered seats on the tube by kindly strangers. I am sure my illusions will be shattered in time. Labour on the other hand I find absolutely bloody terrifying. Whatever you do, don't read the childbirth threads. I did and I wish I had stayed away!

crazychemist I think this thread is the perfect place to rant, so our DP's don't think we're completely raving mad!

hello to everyone else!

Bugsy they won't do the rubella immunisation if there's any chance you might be pg, but they'll do the blood test. Is there a chance then? [nosy]

Bugsey Arh that's interesting, I'm currently doing my degree within the social sciences. I'm 24 btw, DH is 28. Doctors today to talk about coming of meds, I'm excited, scared and nervous all in 1!

Gotta leave for it now!

Hope it went well Sparkley. I will be discussing the same with my consultant this afternoon.

Good luck with your appointment Disco

leftwing only in the sense that we are having contraception-free sex! I suppose if I needed a booster I would have to have it when I had my period just to be sure.

By the way I do know a couple of women who got pregnant straight after coming off the pill. Both were in their early 30's and both were fairly shocked as they had assumed it would take longer. Although whether there was any kind of hormonal surge, or they were just naturally fertile, I don't know. Most of the people I know well enough to discuss it with, it has taken 6 months to a year, and one ended up having IVF.

I'm in a bit of a quandry. About to turn 35 in the next month or so, and for various reasons we've had to put off TTC for the last 2 years. However we are now in a good place with regard to TTC and I'm about to start a new job in a few weeks. We always said, as soon as I got a job, we'd start TTC. So now I have one.....I'm feeling a little guilty, and wondering if whether we should delay just by 2 months. I know, it is silly. I think part of me is worrying about what if I get pregnant first attempt? Is it going to piss my new employer off? But then again, we could TTC this month, and who knows how long it could take - there's only a slim chance it could happen first go right? What would you ladies do? I've been off the pill for years and we've just been using condoms, I've also been taking folic acid since January, so from a being ready point of view we're all set. I should just go for it right?

are there any rules at your new job about needing to have been there a certain amount of time to qualify for maternity leave?

You will only qualify for statutory maternity pay if you are in post when you get pregnant. I'd wait another month for that reason. Also, the first few weeks in a new job can be very tough.