Waiting to try to conceive

[Amonstercooper]

Another thread for those who are waiting to try for a baby. It doesn't matter how long or short the wait; why you are waiting; or how many DC you have. All are welcome.

Old thread here.

hi sparkles

I also live in a 2 bedroom flat and don't really see it as a problem tbh. Perhaps I'm being naive. However I live in a city where property is expensive and I know people who've had a baby in a two or even one bedroom flat.

How many floors up is yours? I'm only on the first floor and we have a garden so maybe that makes a difference.

I guess it also depends on your age - I'm 33 and don't think we could afford to move somewhere bigger for a few years.

Hi ladies, how's everyone doing?

Welcome sparkles, as mrsbugsy said I wouldn't let being in a 2 bed flat put you off too much. Don't forget that you'll have 9 months of pregnancy and 6 months of baby sleeping in your own bedroom, that gives you a minimum of 16 months before baby would need a room of their own! It might not be your ideal, but plenty of people manage it in 1 and 2 bed flats, babies really don't take up much space whilst they're small.

I think we're making progress as there has been a bit of a shift in DH's mindset recently. (TMI alert) he seems to have ditched the condoms and switched to the rather unreliable withdrawal method. It's very unlike him to be so relaxed about contraception so it's quite a surprise. He knows he's taking a risk and is always aware of where I am in my cycle (knows when my fertile period is etc) but there's no change in his new approach around ov. He also knows we would start TTC right away if the choice was mine alone. So I suspect the decision to start TTC is something that will just happen quite naturally when he's ready and without much discussion rather than on a set date. In the meantime it's kind of nice to not be actively preventing anymore, and who knows, there might even be a very happy accident along the way! Perhaps its time to get the folic acid in!

I hope you manage to find a buyer soon sparkles. We're just getting our flat ready to put on the market and I have to admit I'm really worried we won't find a buyer. There are 3 identical flats currently on the market that have been on for a while now but I think they're over priced (another 3 have just sold very quickly but were priced very low). It's all a bit stressful isn't it?

So just wondering as we haven't had any stats for some time, who's leaving us next? I'm guessing most soon to be graduates might be waiting until the chance of December/January due dates has lessened before TTC?

Ooh, I hadn't really thought about the consequences of having a Christmas baby. I just checked the 'due date calendar' and if we conceived in the coming month then apparently I'd be due on 27th December. Hmm, that could be bad....my OH doesn't drive, and I can just see myself in labour on new year's eve, trying to get a taxi!

sparkes I think if I was in your position I might wait, but then I was never interested in babies at all until I hit my 30's. I guess we're all different. There are practical reasons why we should wait too, but all of a sudden I have this overwhelming desire to do it right now.

hi all,
just plodding along here with no mention of babies as Im starting to worry about scaring DH off.
How exciting about DH's change in mindset Lthe Wife! that has to be a good sign!
We were living in a 2 bed flat when DS was born and we still had a spare room for 6 months which was great, we were on the second floor though and it is a pain getting prams and car seats and shopping and baby up the stairs, but its do able especially if you have somewhere you can leave pram e.g in the car boot.

DS was due on 5th Jan and I ended up on delivery suite on New Years Eve with part of my waters going, was a nightmare so we will be being extra careful for the next month or so Christmas is far too expensive as it is!

L that's very exciting, definite progress!

sparkles I'm 28 too, but desperately broody and just can't wait any longer! We're also in a 2bed, but it's a house which helps I think. An extra room would be ideal, but we would hope to move in a year or two, baby or not, so decided to just go for it.

I'm starting beginning of April! Having my coil out then just going for it although I am utterly in denial of the fact that know my cycle will be all over the place and it may take a while. As stated, am utterly desperate, so really don't care about birth month!

just peeking in. I'm loitering between ttc and wtttc....

6 months since my last depo injection, still no period/ signs of life down there. Had started to SWI then I had a tooth infection and now I've broken my shoulder so I'm unsex-able, waiting for a wisdom tooth extraction and feel like I'm back to square one

fl0b0t that all sounds painful!

pinkbuttons that is exactly what I am worried about happening! Although I maybe I should just accept that labour will be pretty awful whenever it happens. Do you think they were understaffed because it was NYE?

Our news is that have decided to not exactly actively ttc, but to stop preventing pregnancy for a bit and see what happens. Given my age it will probably take a few months at least, and hopefully something will happen before the point where I start to get totally obsessed.

Hello. Can I join you. I'm another one with arthritis. Been off the serious drugs since Jan, and off the pill too, hoping to start TTC our second child next month, assuming all goes well at next consultant appointment. Also a bit wary about a Christmas baby, but need to get pregnant ASAP and know any pregnancy is good when so many people try for years. DD is 21 months. Need to go and read more of the thread now. hermione, having already been through one pregnancy with arthritis (rheumatoid) I'm happy to talk about any thing that might concern you. :)

Oh no fl0b0t hope your feeling better soon.

bugsy It wasn't so much that when I was on delivery suite they were understaffed my issue was that I had high BP at the end of pregnancy and getting checked twice a week and getting consultant appts etc. was a nightmare with short staffing over the holiday. But our main issue is that we've already got one straight after Christmas and couldn't afford another :) Definitely wouldn't let it put you off if you're all ready to start! what will be will be, and what a lovely Christmas present it would be :o

Discowomb Hope all goes well at your next consultant appt.

We still have 7 months to wait until Im officially off the patch, although have had it of this month as had queried BP issues, all fine but it does mean we maybe haven't been as safe as normal this month. As much as I try to tell myself there's not way I can be pregnant I cant help but have the tiniest bit of hope that I am. All would be ok if I was just not ideal but as much as my head says "no now is not the right time" my heart (and womb) want to be pregnant right now. Am working on maternity wards atm so seriously not good for the broodiness! Hope everyone else is coping a bit better than I am atm?

Thanks pinkbuttons I think that is what we have decided to do, just 'see what happens' for a few months and if we were meant to have a Christmas baby, so be it.

'As much as my head says "no now is not the right time" my heart (and womb) want to be pregnant right now' - yup, I know the feeling. Why is it that you have to wait? (Apologies if you've said in previous posts).

Am I still allowed on this thread if we're not really waiting any more? I don't really feel like I belong on any other the TTC threads yet as we're not really trying either. If nothing happens by the summer then maybe we will step it up a notch

discowomb - I love your name. hope all goes well for you.

Sounds like a good plan bugsy thats what were planning on doing but from October. We are waiting mainly due to finance as well as the fact Im currently studying and don't finish my degree till next yr. Just reminding myself its only a few months and enjoying my time with DS.
Definitely stay with us! How exciting to be not not trying :o

Hi,

Can I join? We are waiting till September to start trying. I'll be in my final year of uni then, so the baby would be due just after I graduate at the earliest (I know, I'm crazy!). My husband works full time, and I want to get my career going when I graduate, we already have a 15 month old little girl, so we also don't want a huge age gap!

Sparkly and buttons, maybe the three of us will end up on a 'pregnant and studying' thread of our own, wondering what on earth we were all thinking!

If I conceived right now, I would be due one month after I finish my Masters. So I figure the last couple of months would be awkward, but it wouldn't be a disaster.

Hello Ladies,

I have been scirting around this forum for a few years and now I am four months from Actively Trying! My other half is very traditional and doesnt want us to start trying until after our 'I Do's' in August this year. Its been a long way off for a long time and now I am so excited to get started.

Any advice on what I should be doing now etc? Any mums out there waiting to try for no. 2 have advice?

this will be #1 for me too, but I think you are supposed to start on folic acid three months before you start to try (or to not not try!)

are you on the pill? If so maybe come off sooner rather than later, as some people's cycles seem to take a while to get back to normal

Hiya,

yeah I want to get my cycle sorted so will see if I can come off pill before wedding but dont want a bleed on the day or on honeymoon!

What is the best pre-preg vit? Open discussion!

If going for a ovulation testing stick is clear blue digital necessarily expensive? It seems a lot even reduced on amazon.

I've started taking folic acid, just Superdrug's own brand

However I sometimes take Berocca, if I feel like I might be coming down with a cold or have a hangover, and noticed that contains folic acid too.

Using devices/piss sticks/temping can drive you a little bit crazy, so I would always recommend at least a couple of months of simply shagging first, TBH. If you do it at least every couple of days from after the end of your period, you should get there, assuming you have "normal" 28-30 day cycles with ovulation in the middle.

My next move would always be temping, because it worked for me to get DD1, and because you can using temping to (in theory) discover you are pregnant without the need to pee on a stick right away. I would swear by fertilityfriend.com

Most people I know who have used the clearblue fertility monitor have done so only after trying for a while without success, partly because it's so expensive and partly because it can drive you a bit mental so be warned .

Thanks for the vitamins reminder, I should really get some. I just took pregnancy vits from TTC onwards last time. No real brand preference, although i seem to remember some people having issues with pregnacare. They didn't bother me though.

As this gets closer, I'm starting to panic about whether I can really cope with two children!

Hi everyone! Nice to see this thread is still going because I'm still waiting! There are now 3 things keeping us from getting started: (1) concerns about how long my job will last; (2) DH's Fear of Fatherhood; and (3) I'm not eligible for enhanced maternity pay for another two months.

After descending to such a depth of despair over ttc that i had to leave this thread and name change (I am the OP btw) we've suddenly got to the point where I can see a little tiny chink of light at the end of the tunnel. In terms of contraception we are in about the same place as LtheWife, so DH's FoF is clearly not nearly as debilitating as it once was.

It's nice to be back.

Bugsey, we must both be mad! So excited for September though! I've got a doctors appointment on Wednesday to discuss coming of some medication and the pill. Been working out what equipment we would need, luckily as it'll be number 2 we've got quite a lot of it already. Can't believe this time next year I'll hopefully be pregant, preparing for my final exams before graduation and have a 2 year old running about (oh and my part time job and volunteering), haha life will be even more crazy.

Welcome back leftwing. Sorry to hear you've had a tough time of the waiting recently but it's good to see you back. I was beginning to think I was one of the only ones left from the last thread! Great to hear your DH's FoF has waned a little too.

Getting really frustrated with waiting now to be honest. The goal of DH setting up his business was for him to work less without taking a drop in earnings. The reality is he's working just as much, if not more than before. We hoped to get the ball rolling with our plans to move after February but he's just too busy to even think about it right now. And he's booked up until October at least so it shows no signs of slowing down.

I don't know why I'm surprised really, he's been dragging his heels with regards to moving for a long time now. I'm beginning to get the feeling it's deliberate as once we move the last reason to put off TTC will have disappeared. Grrr

sparkly that sounds brave! Are you on a three year course? What was it like last time, being at Uni pregnant and/or with a baby?

Leftwing your reason # 3 sounds like a good reason to wait a few months, but the others....DP and I both work in the public sector and really either or both of our jobs could disappear. But I think if you wait just in case that happens, then you could wait forever. Not sure what to suggest about your DH, but him taking a relaxed attitude to contraception sounds like a good sign.

DP and have been together for a long time, since our early 20's. We both definitely never wanted kids. Then as I hit my 30's and friends started having kids, I started to change my mind, and one night I drunkenly just came out told him I wanted to have a baby at some point, and luckily he agreed straight away. I've got no idea really whether he secretly started to want one too, or whether he just doesn't mind either way. His mind is still a mystery to me sometimes.