Freak Out Room For Those Newly Diffed Up After MC Part IX

[LAF77]

Just found out you are pregnant after a previous miscarriage and too nervous to move over the to pregnancy boards? Freaking out about spotting, cramping, symptoms (or lack there of) and nervously awaiting your first scan? Here is a lovely place for lot's of support, hand holding and problem sharing.

Courtesy of owlbooty here are the Ten Commandments of the Freak Out Room.

1. Thou shalt check thy knickers to the point of insanity until the baby actually arrives.
2. Thou shalt also check the loo roll post-wipeage (sorry, gross, I know)
3. Thou shalt bore thy physician and midwife to tears with the mentalling.
4. And thy husband/boyfriend/family/neighbour's cat.
5. Thou shalt obsess over the absence of symptoms.
6. And the presence of symptoms.
7. And the fluctuation of symptoms.
8. Thou shalt pee on a vast number of sticks and keep ClearBlue and First Response in business.
9. The day before any scan extreme mentalling is permitted without recourse to the Haddock.

10. Self-diagnosis with Dr Google is Forbidden.

The Haddock will be applied liberally to all transgressors.

See here for the previous thread

amandine that is one of the dangers of taking aspirin without a clotting condition. I would hate to offer advise as I'm not medically trained, but I'm sure I read that somewhere that if you are spotting on aspirin, you should stop if you don't have a clotting condition, but don't quote me on it. Perhaps speaking to your GP will help.

Yes Amandine I know that's a good start! My cynical voice on my shoulder still keeps on saying "but it was OK at this stage last time" though. I think it'll be a big hurdle to have crossed for me if I successfully make it past 11+6 this time...

panpipe I will trot out a http://www.brooksidepress.org/Products/Military_OBGYN/Ultrasound/1st_trimester_ultrasound_scannin.htm website that I found to try and reassure you.

This is the best part!

In the presence of uterine bleeding, visualization of a gestational sac, a yolk sac, a fetal pole and fetal heart beat changes the risk of a threatened abortion leading to miscarriage from 50/50 to about 5%.

Good luck with the wait! It is agony!

firstly welcome to panpipe hope all goes well for you this time...

amandine fingers crossed that all is well and that you manage to relax on your trip to France. I hope that you're just clearing out some old gunk - remember brown is much better than bright red....

Had a wibble yesterday and managed to convince myself that it was all doomed so called up the Foetal Medicine Unit. They were super lovely and told me to go in for another scan today... 20 weeks exactly. Got scanned by the nicest scanning lady ever who was so brilliant - bean is fine, spot on for dates and I do feel so much better. She checked all over for any indicators of anything wrong and all was perfect....

Feel slightly silly for panicking but very relieved that all is fine and the only thing with anything adverse going on is my head With that in mind I've contacted the person who councelled me after my second and third losses and asked if I can come and see her again to talk everything through.

Hope everyone else is doing well....

Hello ladies! Will catch up properly later as at work but just a quick one. had 12 week scan today and everything looks perfect, i am so happy and cannot believe i have made it this
far! 13 weeks on Friday so due date is the 13th of July. So cuffed :0)

con3ued and knitter I am so happy to hear that things are looking good for you both this time as you have crossed some big milestones. Perhaps we can convince both of you to come over to the grads thread now? It sure is quiet over there these days!

amandine I hope that you are OK today and your GP visit was helpful.

con3used super news - such a big milestone

LAF I'm nearly ready to be nailed down in the Grads thread... have promised I'll wait until after my scan on the 17th....

I'm pregnant again after two mc. I'm really worried that t might happen again. I have no symptoms but by my calculations I'm 9 weeks. Haven't even plucked up the courage to go to the doctor. I'm really scared. Can anyone help me

sazbrilla as a recurrent miscarriage sufferer, I know how hard it is. You don't want to do things in case you get attached. I've avoided doing things with the mental justification that it will hurt if I lost the baby again.

I realised a few weeks ago, that I would still hurt if I miscarried, regardless of what I did or didn't do. I hated picking up the pregnancy packs from the GP surgery because I had a little collection that reminded me of all of the babies that didn't make it. I despaired in having to ring up and cancel appointments and say that it wasn't necessary to book another one.

However, you need to do right by the baby. I know that you love your baby right now in spite of all of your fears. Ring the surgery to get a booking appointment with the midwife. You should have a 12 week dating scan, but the GP pack will have the info to send into the local hospital to get on the list. Around my way, it is really hard to get a MW appointment. I had to wait 6 weeks to be seen. Perhaps it isn't so bad where you are though.

Good luck!

Sazbrilla, it is hard but I would echo what LAF77 has said and try to find the courage to go to the doctor. If you are 9 weeks, it's best to see a midwife as soon as possible and get booked in for your 12 week scan. It may be that your midwife can refer you for an earlier scan, which might put your mind at ease a bit. I was in a similar position to you and I know how scary it is, but was offered a scan at 8 weeks because of my previous two miscarriages and it helped to see a heartbeat. Also just because it's happened twice before don't think it's inevitable that it will happen again. I thought that at the beginning of this, my third, pregnancy and so far things are progressing as they should be. Do you mind me asking at what stage you had your previous miscarriages? It helped me, in being able to look to the future, to get beyond those stages. Good luck. x

Thanks I was 6 weeks with my second and 10 with my first. Slightly relieved to be past 6 weeks but still worried. Think I will relax a bit more after 12 weeks. I haven't told anyone but my partner about my pregnancy this time. Will ring my gp soon. Just need to pluck up the courage

Sazbrilla, I didn't tell anyone about any of my pregnancies or miscarriages either at the time so this forum was really important. Feel free to post whenever you need some support, and good luck with plucking up the courage to contact your GP. I hope all goes well. x

Thanks hun x

Lollopybear I think that you should tell your close friend. Then u can support each other. I found out my sister is pregnant last night and no one knows that I am for the same reason, I don't want to steal her thunder but at the same time I could do with her support. Friends are there for you at all times. I'm sure she will be very happy for you and won't think you are stealing her thunder. Just explain the situation to her and I'm sure she will understand x

Hi all,

Haven't been on here much but have had a quick catch up, hope everyone is well.

We had our 12 week scan today and it showed our baby had stopped growing at 10 weeks - I had no signs anything was wrong this time. The last time the baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks so at least that's something? Not sure if it is but that's the way I'm looking at it. The difference in care we received this time round was amazing (different hospital), I have an ERPC tomorrow so at least my body can start getting back to normal and we can start again.....

Take care and good luck all everyone x
Ox

Oh no Ostrich I'm very sorry to hear that (hugs).

The same thing happened to me last time in terms of not having any signs; there was just no heartbeat to be seen at 12 week scan. It completely hits you for 6 doesn't it when you haven't had any warnings or any idea what's happening. Glad the new hospital are looking after you, and hope all goes well (or at least as well as it can under the circumstances) for you tomorrow xx

Oh ostrich , thinking of you . I hope tomorrow goes as well as these things can

I'm getting wobbly about my scan in the morning, this week passed quickly because we were away but there's no hiding from things now. I've got almost constant nausea now and I've had to add a bump belt to my jeans to do them up but I'm not feeling any optimism, and realise that a hb tomorrow doesn't mean a hb at the next scan. This pregnancy feels more like an ordeal than something positive which I find incredibly sad

so sorry to hear that Ostrich
glad to hear that you are getting good care at the hospital though

Amandine keeping fingers crossed for you tomorrow - I can sympathise totally with the lack of optimism and the fact that whole pg feels like an ordeal - I also feel like that and also feel totally guilty about feeling that way towards my baby don't have any inspirational advice about how to overcome it though, sorry - just taking one day at a time!

Sazbrilla did you make an appt to see the Dr?

con3used great news!

Lollopy fwiw I would try to tell your friend, especially she is a good friend who's support you would value (this is from someone who finds it incredibly hard to tell anyone at all so I'm not a very good example!)

Good luck to all of us who have scans/appointments this month (I have 'extra' m/w appt 11/1 and 20 week scan on 24/1) trying really hard not to mental

Sorry to hear your news Ostrich, please look after yourself, get the support you need and do post on here whenever you need to.

Lollopy, I would agree with the others and suggest you try to talk to your friend. As others have said, if she's a good friend she will understand and won't think you're stealing her thunder! Good luck.

Thinking of you for tomorrow Amandine

I hope your m/w appointment goes well later this week jetstar. I have my 20 week scan on Friday, I'm nervous but excited at the same time! I do feel it will be time to graduate if all is well, so hopefully (and I mean this in the most positive way!) this may be one of my last posts on here. Although I will lurk, and probably still post for a while!!

Hello everyone, am now delurking for the first time in 3 months.

So sorry to hear you news, Ostrich, it's a horrible shock when it happens. Hope all goes well tomorrow, sending you a hug.

Well, I'm freaking out again, so thought I'd come back in here to do it. Following my MMC in October at 13 weeks, and subsequent ERPC, I had a bit of a nightmare. My bleeding basically barely stopped, apart from a 2 week break, 2 weeks after the ERPC. After several trips to the Dr, being put on antibiotics, then norethisterone to stop the bleeding, I passed a substantial amount of 'retained product' this was a month ago. My last 'period' was induced after stopping the norethisterone, and started on 14th December. Last Tuesday night (my birthday-of all days!!), I started spotting, and assumed it was AF, 3 days early. However, it didn't develop into a proper period, and I've now had almost a week of very light bleeding/ brown spotting. This was so similar to what I had in the summer just before I found out i was pregnant, and together with the fact that I've been incredibly tired the last day or two, and that my normally clear skin has broken out in spots, that I ordered a pack of 2 tests in the online food-shop. Tonight, I've had the faintest of BFPs. I'm going to re-test in the morning to be sure. Don't know what to think, will be delighted if I'm pregnant, but so scared! Especially with things being so similar to last time!

ostrich I'm so sorry to read your news. I hope that you are able to have some quiet time to come to terms with your loss.

Will they test your baby for possible causes? I'm not sure how you feel about that, but if I were in your position, I would be pushing for it. It might help you get answers about why you miscarried.

moomin glad to see you back. It sounds like you have had quite a time of it since we last saw you here. I hope that the test goes your way tomorrow.

Thinking of you tomorrow amandine at your scan.

Looking to see you on the other side twitwoo

Good news from me...we saw the bean and hb, it's where it should be and theres just the one . There is an area of bleeding but it's not near the baby. I'm going to stop the aspirin to be safe.

Thinking of ostrich today xxx

Fab news amandine !

I'm now 15w (16w on Thursday) and still haven't told anybody, not even my parents! Is that normal?! I keep moving my milestones from week to week. I would love to wait until after my anomaly scan (which I am totally and utterly PETRIFIED about) but doubt I can hide it for another 4/5 weeks as i'm having to use scarves strategically at the moment to hide my belly!!

With DS I told everybody at 14w and didn't think twice about it, however things are now different after the m/c :(

I am also due my annual appraisal next month so was hoping not to tell until after that but again, it's unlikely i'll be able to keep it a secret at work till then!

Hope everybody is well xx

Great news Amandine - that puts the odds in your favour!

PieMistress I get where you are coming from I don't really enjoy telling anyone (bit sad really) and I was relieved to overhear a lady yesterday saying exactly the same thing!! Wouldn't it be great if we could just wander happily along and then one day say to everyone, "Oh by the way I had a baby!"

If you are close to your parents then if it were me I would probably have told them by now, and maybe a couple of close friends too. The sort of people you would turn to for support. That's just how I would do it but it's totally what you would feel most comfortable with really!

It is a bit of pressure when you start to show though - strategic clothing choices required! Would you brazenly lie if someone said to you "Are you pregnant?"???

moomin fingers crossed for you

Thank you Twittwooo I envy you your 20 week scan, but only another 2 weeks til mine (lots of mentalling time between now and then )