Freak Out Room For Those Newly Diffed Up After MC Part IX

[LAF77]

Just found out you are pregnant after a previous miscarriage and too nervous to move over the to pregnancy boards? Freaking out about spotting, cramping, symptoms (or lack there of) and nervously awaiting your first scan? Here is a lovely place for lot's of support, hand holding and problem sharing.

Courtesy of owlbooty here are the Ten Commandments of the Freak Out Room.

1. Thou shalt check thy knickers to the point of insanity until the baby actually arrives.
2. Thou shalt also check the loo roll post-wipeage (sorry, gross, I know)
3. Thou shalt bore thy physician and midwife to tears with the mentalling.
4. And thy husband/boyfriend/family/neighbour's cat.
5. Thou shalt obsess over the absence of symptoms.
6. And the presence of symptoms.
7. And the fluctuation of symptoms.
8. Thou shalt pee on a vast number of sticks and keep ClearBlue and First Response in business.
9. The day before any scan extreme mentalling is permitted without recourse to the Haddock.

10. Self-diagnosis with Dr Google is Forbidden.

The Haddock will be applied liberally to all transgressors.

See here for the previous thread

zam so sorry to hear your news, hope the trip helps you and you get somewhere with the GP

Sorry digital didn't see your post, great news re the test results and fingers crossed for tomorrow

Please can you take me off the list (Bump). My little boy, William, was born sleeping yesterday. I won't be logging on again as it is just too painful but please keep him in your prayers.

Good luck to everyone in your pregnancies xx

bump I am so very very sorry to hear that. There really are no words. I hope you are getting all the support you need to help you through such a very awful time. I can't do the list from my phone but will do it tomorrow.

Oh bump so heartbroken to read this. Thinking and praying for your family x

bump so sorry for your terribly sad news. I hope you have plenty of rl support. William is a lovely name.

bump so so sorry to hear your news. Sending you a totally inadequate ((((hug))) and wishing there was something, anything, else I could do.

bump there are no words. But I do hope you're getting lots of love and support in RL. We are here if you ever decide you're ready to talk about it. So so sorry.

Bump so so sorry to read your news . Hope you have lots of RL support. Thinking of you all xx

bump I am so sorry to hear your news, I hope you and your DP are being looked after, thinking if you all

New list for today. I don't normally do this as I have a knack for messing up numbers. I've taken off Tunnocks and Velvet who have had their babies this week, hopefully I haven't missed off anyone else from grads.

Saturday 21st October

Hairylights 27+6
Pigletmania 27+1
MrsSteph 22+1
LivinInTheMoment 21+4 EDD 28/02/12
LAF77 18+3, EDD 21/03/11, next scan 4/11/11
Biscuitsandtea 17+1 EDD 27/3/12, next scan 11/11/11
Kat2504 15+3 EDD 11/04/12 next scan 28/11/11
Digitalgirl 15+0 EDD 15/04/12, next scan 11/10/11
LadyMaybe 12+4, Next scan 20/10/11
Boodleboot 11+2 EDD 14/5/12
StickThemWithThePointyEnd 10+2
Googie 9+6
LimeFlower baby no1 9+2 wks EDD 24th May
KnitterNotTwitter baby #2 9+0 CVS 8/11/11
BlueCrane 8+4 EDD 31/5/12 Early scan 20/10/11

MIA

Mamarara 27+3
ladybird33 27+1 EDD 22/1/12
purpletoes 24+5 EDD 08/02/12 next scan 04/10/11
angela85 baby #2 23+5 EDD 13/2/12

And on the grads thread too:

IreneHeron - DS no 2, 39+6 weeks, EDD 23rd Oct.
Hotnspicyonions - baby#2 39+5 weeks EDD 24th October
Katherine2008 - baby#2 38+2 EDD 10 November
MummyAbroad - baby #2 38+1 wks EDD 4th November
CEP - baby #2 38+0 wks EDD 5th Nov
Collieandpup - baby #1 36+1 wks EDD 20th Nov
Wombatinwaiting - baby # 1 35+2 wks EDD 24th November
LaraMi - baby #1 35+1 weeks EDD 25th November
Izzy - baby #3 35+0 wks EDD 26th November
Bigmacandhappymeal - baby #1 34+4 weeks EDD 29th November
Blackkat - baby #1 33+5 wks EDD 5th December
Minnie74 -baby #1 33+2 wks EDD 12th December
Harassedandherbug - baby #4 31+2 wks EDD 22 December
Dooscooby - baby #1 31+2 wks EDD 22 December
Youremindmeofthebabe - baby #2 29+3 wks EDD 5th January
Sunchild77 - baby #3 29+1 wks EDD 6th Jan - Elcs at 39 wks
Freezingmyarseoff - baby#2 29+0 wks EDD 7th January
Milkyways - baby #2 28+5 wks EDD 8th January
Laylasmummy - 27+0 weeks EDD 21 January
Stitchinline - baby #1 21+3 EDD 29th February
Shellshock7 20+6 EDD 4/3/12

In our thoughts and prayers
Dachs whose beautiful little babies Alexander & Felicia left this world sleeping
Bump, whose baby boy William was born sleeping.

Thinking of.... MumTum; Mistress P, willitbe, twittwooo, Lily06, doitnicely, freelance, Notnowimreading, Moominsummermadness

digi hope your scan went well today

I've been over in the pregnancy forum with my worries buy you guys seem much more friendly. I am 8+6 weeks after a long course of fertility treatment. I had a mmc last February and am convinced the same thing will happen this time. I almost laughed at the ten commandments as I am professional at each and every one of those points however the "Haddock" is a new one on me and any explanation is welcome.

I've had two scans so far. We saw two sacs with one empty. The other has a strong heartbeat and grew from week 6 to 8 as expected. The day after my BFP I had some light spotting which totally freaked me out. I am now almost bedridden with nausea and for a couple of days felt so much better, which sent me into a panic stricken frenzy. Now I feel horrendous again so realise I overrreacted. I must be on first name terms with everyone in the early pregnancy unit of my local hospital as I am on the phone to them more often than I call my Mother! I called on Friday due to the worrying lack of nausea and my next scan date was brought forward from 31/10/11 to 25/10/11. Now I am feeling horrendous again I think I need to call them and have is postponed back again so I leave a necessary gap in between, last scan was 17/10/11, and not too long a gap until my dating scan.

I cannot seem to feel any happiness just now as I cannot bear to imagine holding my baby in my arms. Last years pregnancy was joyous as I didn't expect anything to go wrong after a heartbeat was seen at 8 weeks. At 13 weeks it had gone as did all the dreams we had of decorating our nursery, our baby's first Christmas, first birthday and so much more. I cannot bring myself the same pain if something were to happen again. DH thinks I am insane. He insists if I am not worrying about symptom X then I am worrying about lack of symptom Y or frequency of Symptom Z. I know he is right but it's such a rollercoaster.

I am a little worried about the two sacs also and whether the empty sac could cause any problem for the sac with a heartbeat (I can't even call it a baby yet). In the last scan it had continued to grow but had lost it's rigid structure so looked like it might be collapsing. We got a picture but I haven't shown anyone as I feel a fraud showing off a baby I am worrying so much I will never get to meet.

I offer love and condolences to Bump also. Nothing anyone says is ever the right thing but all mean well.

Thinking of you Bump, very sad to read your post.

Any update on your scan digi?

Welcome sharon, feel free to do as much mentalling as you please on this thread. I hope you get the reassurance you need very soon and can start looking forward to the rest of your pregnancy. In the meantime, embrace the yukky symptoms. They've got to be a good sign, right?

I had my combined results back today for the Downs screening and it's low risk, so hopefully that's one worry to now cross off the list.

Welcome Sharon sorry for your loss last year, but congratulations on getting this far with your current pregnancy. It's very difficult to relax and enjoy pregnancy after miscarriage - but we've all been there so feel free to rant away and share any anxieties here. Hopefully as your pregnancy progresses the fear will slowly ebb away.

Thanks for doing the list Kat . I'm a couple of days ahead on there but I'll fix I'm next time in on the laptop

Scan went well thanks LAF baby swimming around. I asked the sonographer if she could check for any sign of cleft lip (one of the risks of steroid treatment). Looks fine at the moment but a little too early to say for definite. As she scanned over the face the baby kept putting it's hands over it's face as though it was trying to hide - looked so cute!

welcome sharon - The Haddock is a fish slap. But we don't really tend to use it round here as there is so much mentalling we would never stop! I'm sorry both the sacs didn't make it, but I wouldn't worry about the empty one. They reckon a good percentage of singleton babies "should have" been twins. Due to lack of early scanning, most people would never know as it would be gone by the 12 week scan.

Hugs Bump so sad to read your news xx thinking of you.

Just noticed I've lost a few days on the list so I've just updated myself.

Also wanted to say welcome to Sharon - I'm sorry to hear of your loss last year and a glad you've had plenty of support so far with this pregnancy. I hope your EPU continue to help you through. As others have said the mentalling is inevitable I think but we are here to help each other through it. As you correctly surmise we are a very friendly bunch :). A friend of mine had a similar situation where they started off with 2 sacs but only one continued (and her little girl started school this year). What did the clinic say about what happens with the other sac? I might be completely wrong but I thought I had read that often it just gets absorbed into the other one? Would they perhaps be able to give you any further reassurance on it?

I couldn't change Digi's list data as I wasn't sure how many days exactly you were out.

Saturday 21st October

Hairylights 27+6
Pigletmania 27+1
MrsSteph 22+1
LivinInTheMoment 21+4 EDD 28/02/12
LAF77 18+3, EDD 21/03/11, next scan 4/11/11
Biscuitsandtea 17+4 EDD 27/3/12, next scan 11/11/11
Kat2504 15+3 EDD 11/04/12 next scan 28/11/11
Digitalgirl 15+0 EDD 15/04/12, next scan 11/10/11
LadyMaybe 12+4, Next scan 20/10/11
Boodleboot 11+2 EDD 14/5/12
StickThemWithThePointyEnd 10+2
Googie 9+6
LimeFlower baby no1 9+2 wks EDD 24th May
KnitterNotTwitter baby #2 9+0 CVS 8/11/11
BlueCrane 8+4 EDD 31/5/12 Early scan 20/10/11

MIA

Mamarara 27+3
ladybird33 27+1 EDD 22/1/12
purpletoes 24+5 EDD 08/02/12 next scan 04/10/11
angela85 baby #2 23+5 EDD 13/2/12

And on the grads thread too:

IreneHeron - DS no 2, 39+6 weeks, EDD 23rd Oct.
Hotnspicyonions - baby#2 39+5 weeks EDD 24th October
Katherine2008 - baby#2 38+2 EDD 10 November
MummyAbroad - baby #2 38+1 wks EDD 4th November
CEP - baby #2 38+0 wks EDD 5th Nov
Collieandpup - baby #1 36+1 wks EDD 20th Nov
Wombatinwaiting - baby # 1 35+2 wks EDD 24th November
LaraMi - baby #1 35+1 weeks EDD 25th November
Izzy - baby #3 35+0 wks EDD 26th November
Bigmacandhappymeal - baby #1 34+4 weeks EDD 29th November
Blackkat - baby #1 33+5 wks EDD 5th December
Minnie74 -baby #1 33+2 wks EDD 12th December
Harassedandherbug - baby #4 31+2 wks EDD 22 December
Dooscooby - baby #1 31+2 wks EDD 22 December
Youremindmeofthebabe - baby #2 29+3 wks EDD 5th January
Sunchild77 - baby #3 29+1 wks EDD 6th Jan - Elcs at 39 wks
Freezingmyarseoff - baby#2 29+0 wks EDD 7th January
Milkyways - baby #2 28+5 wks EDD 8th January
Laylasmummy - 27+0 weeks EDD 21 January
Stitchinline - baby #1 21+3 EDD 29th February
Shellshock7 20+6 EDD 4/3/12

In our thoughts and prayers
Dachs whose beautiful little babies Alexander & Felicia left this world sleeping
Bump, whose baby boy William was born sleeping.

Thinking of.... MumTum; Mistress P, willitbe, twittwooo, Lily06, doitnicely, freelance, Notnowimreading, Moominsummermadness

Welcome sharon you write so eloquently about your feelings of loss. It is such a tragedy when you suffer miscarriage. There are so many might have beens. Yesterday, I was wandering around the shops, and I was about to leave one, when the song came on that I associate with baby 3. It's not particularly common. I couldn't leave the shop. I had to wander around looking at things, thinking about her, and what she would be like now, until it finished.

I empathise with your mentalling over fluctuating symptoms. Take as many scans as you can get. It isn't fair to have to suffer sleepless nights due to worries. I've been toying with getting another private scan, but I realise that the timing is a bit silly now, as my 20 week scan would be a week away, if I did that.

I have been using the haddock to try and help others stop the mentalling, but I'm probably in need of a slap myself. I've been using the Doppler twice a day, over the last 3 or 4 days. I've had a few restless nights worrying. No cause to worry though.

DH wanted to start buying nappies and was looking in toy stores yesterday and I forbade him to even think about buying something for the baby until after the next scan. The innocence of pg has been taken from us. He told me that maybe I should try holding my stomach in, so I wouldn't look pg! As if!

Anyway, enough of my wobbles, I'm glad that your scan went well digi you did the right thing by getting a scan between 12 and 20 weeks. I didn't realise that you had a chance of cleft palate with steroids. Has it been hard to come off them?

How are you getting on with the Doppler kat ?

Back under the duvet now!

Thank you for you lovely welcomes. Biscuits andtea, they told me they would expect the other sac to be absorbed. It had grown on our last scan but lost it's rigid shape so it looked like that process was about to begin. I asked several times if it could cause any problems to the other sac but noone gave me a clear answer. A friend of mine recently had two empty sacs and this must have been very difficult. I cannot think of my empty sac as being a miscarriage or even a baby as nothing was there to form and I cannot bear the grief. Rather I am thinking about the sac which has a heartbeat and praying hard for this one to survive.

Is a Doppler a machine which helps you trace the heartbeat at home? I wondered about those but think I would totally freak out if I couldn't find the heartbeat or something. What is everyones experience of them?

How any of you lovely pregnant ladies had the flu jab? I can't decide whether to or not, but it is recommended on the NHS site. I work from home and don't come into contact with that many people, but will be travelling a lot between now and christmas and so will see loads of randoms, kids and relatives, so am thinking it might be a good idea.

I'm having the flu jab this coming week googie. Like you I wasn't sure what to do for the best. It did seem strange to me that there's so many things that we're advised to stay away from while pregnant yet it's deemed safe to have a flu vaccination. But I'm no medical professional so didn't want to just follow my own logic (which is probably not at all logical).

The general concensus seems to be that it's best to have the flu jab. There's been several threads on MN that have discussed this in detail and several medical professionals came on and explained that the dangers of flu to a pregnant lady and unborn baby are far more common than any minute risk associated with the vaccine. Have a look through the pregnancy boards and you'll probably come across some, they've been pretty recent.

Googie - I'm the same as Scarlet - read the stuff on here and as Scarlet says there are a lot of medical people who say they've seen pregnant people have real problems with the flu - like hospital bound rather than 'under the weather'. So I had it a few weeks ago - no symptoms or side effects apart from a small bruise on my arm that was a bit tender for a few days.

For what it's worth too Googie I don't work, so don't come into contact with a shed load of people iyswim.

Haven't been here for a while, but bump I am so sorry , you are due the same time as me and it makes me feel that though nearly there, I am not out of the woods yet. Big hugs to you, hope that you have support in RL