Freak Out Room For Those Newly Diffed Up After MC Part IX

[LAF77]

Just found out you are pregnant after a previous miscarriage and too nervous to move over the to pregnancy boards? Freaking out about spotting, cramping, symptoms (or lack there of) and nervously awaiting your first scan? Here is a lovely place for lot's of support, hand holding and problem sharing.

Courtesy of owlbooty here are the Ten Commandments of the Freak Out Room.

1. Thou shalt check thy knickers to the point of insanity until the baby actually arrives.
2. Thou shalt also check the loo roll post-wipeage (sorry, gross, I know)
3. Thou shalt bore thy physician and midwife to tears with the mentalling.
4. And thy husband/boyfriend/family/neighbour's cat.
5. Thou shalt obsess over the absence of symptoms.
6. And the presence of symptoms.
7. And the fluctuation of symptoms.
8. Thou shalt pee on a vast number of sticks and keep ClearBlue and First Response in business.
9. The day before any scan extreme mentalling is permitted without recourse to the Haddock.

10. Self-diagnosis with Dr Google is Forbidden.

The Haddock will be applied liberally to all transgressors.

See here for the previous thread

Popped in to see how youre all doing. So desparately sorry to hear the news from bump, words fail me. Thinking of you and your family x

Monday 24th October

Hairylights 28+1
Pigletmania 27+3
MrsSteph 22+3
LivinInTheMoment 21+6 EDD 28/02/12
LAF77 18+5, EDD 21/03/11, next scan 4/11/11
Biscuitsandtea 17+6 EDD 27/3/12, next scan 11/11/11
Kat2504 15+5 EDD 11/04/12 next scan 28/11/11
Digitalgirl 15+2 EDD 15/04/12, next scan 11/10/11
LadyMaybe 12+6,
Boodleboot 11+4 EDD 14/5/12
StickThemWithThePointyEnd 10+4
Googie 10+1
LimeFlower baby no1 9+4 wks EDD 24th May
KnitterNotTwitter baby #2 9+2 CVS 8/11/11
BlueCrane 8+6 EDD 31/5/12

MIA
Mamarara 27+5
ladybird33 27+3 EDD 22/1/12
purpletoes 25+0 EDD 08/02/12
angela85 #2 24+0 EDD 13/2/12

And on the grads thread too:

IreneHeron - DS no 2, 40+1 weeks, EDD 23rd Oct.
Hotnspicyonions - baby#2 40+0 weeks EDD 24th October
Katherine2008 - baby#2 38+4 EDD 10 November
MummyAbroad - baby #2 38+3 wks EDD 4th November
CEP - baby #2 38+2 wks EDD 5th Nov
Collieandpup - baby #1 36+3 wks EDD 20th Nov
Wombatinwaiting - baby # 1 35+4 wks EDD 24th November
LaraMi - baby #1 35+3 weeks EDD 25th November
Izzy - baby #3 35+2 wks EDD 26th November
Bigmacandhappymeal - baby #1 34+6 weeks EDD 29th November
Blackkat - baby #1 34+0 wks EDD 5th December
Minnie74 -baby #1 33+4 wks EDD 12th December
Harassedandherbug - baby #4 31+4 wks EDD 22 December
Dooscooby - baby #1 31+4 wks EDD 22 December
Youremindmeofthebabe - baby #2 29+5 wks EDD 5th January
Sunchild77 - baby #3 29+3 wks EDD 6th Jan - Elcs at 39 wks
Freezingmyarseoff - baby#2 29+2 wks EDD 7th January
Milkyways - baby #2 29+0 wks EDD 8th January
Laylasmummy - 27+2 weeks EDD 21 January
Stitchinline - baby #1 21+5 EDD 29th February
Shellshock7 21+1 EDD 4/3/12

In our thoughts and prayers
Dachs whose beautiful little babies Alexander & Felicia left this world sleeping
Bump, whose baby boy William was born sleeping.

Thinking of.... MumTum; Mistress P, willitbe, twittwooo, Lily06, doitnicely, freelance, Notnowimreading, Moominsummermadness

Hi googie I am going to get the jab this weekend. You aren't getting the virus as such, it is "inactive" whatever that means. I think that it is worth it to go for it. Not to be a scaremonger, but my neighbour's cousin's baby was stillborn, after she contracted the flu 2 weeks before birth. I have never read anything to say that the vaccine carries any risks, but not getting it does.

sharon the doppler is something you can use at home. I bought mine for £25 on Amazon. It works like a treat now. I can find the heartbeat, very easily at my stage. Looking at the list, I can scarcely believe I'm just shy of 19 weeks. I think you can use it from 11 weeks onwards, but it can be a bit hit and miss in the early stages, due to the size of the baby. I had a sleepless night when I couldn't find it before bed, so you have to use caution. However, it does calm me down, which has to be good for the baby.

RE the Flu VAccine I can't have it due to an egg albumen alergy but if I wasn't allergic I would definitely be having it - hope that makes sense!

Thanks LAF77. I am seeing the midwife this afternoon will ask her about it.

Thanks for the thoughts on the flu jab, I think I'll ask my doctor for it this week as not getting it sounds potentially far worse.

Is anyone else showing? I'm only 10+3 but when I've eaten my stomach looks massive! I can't comfortably do up my jeans either, especially as I sit at a desk most of the day, so it's leggings and dresses for me already.

And does anyone else have a really gurgly stomach? It is usually wind though, but a bit disconcerting sometimes. I also have the odd little gentle stabbing pain, but I've googled (step away from google!!) and it sounds like normal stretching.

googie My wind has been outrageous today - distinct aroma of cabbages. Thank goodness I chose to work from home!

(moves upwind of knitter)

[parp]

I have the gurgles a lot. Especially if I drink a cup of milky tea. It is quite funny sometimes as it carries on for ages!

Have had a hilarious evening - DH is off being swanky in New York for work so I invited DS's friend over for a sleep over with him. This is DS's first sleep over EVER so it has been very exciting. DS is 3 and the friend is just 6 but they get on like a house on fire. The main events of the evening have been farting and giggling... So my trumpet-bum has been very handy :) Sadly both boys now asleep so I'm just farting to myself...

knitter I am beyond pleased that you've put your gaseous arse to good use this evening, although I dread to think what ds's friend will tell his mum about the sleepover!!!

Tuesday 25th October

Hairylights 28+2
Pigletmania 27+4
MrsSteph 22+4
LivinInTheMoment 22+0 EDD 28/02/12
LAF77 18+6, EDD 21/03/11, next scan 4/11/11
Biscuitsandtea 18+0 EDD 27/3/12, next scan 11/11/11
Kat2504 15+6 EDD 11/04/12 next scan 28/11/11
Digitalgirl 15+3 EDD 15/04/12, next scan 11/10/11
LadyMaybe 13+0,
Boodleboot 11+5 EDD 14/5/12
StickThemWithThePointyEnd 10+5
Googie 10+2
LimeFlower baby #1 9+5 wks EDD 24th May
KnitterNotTwitter baby #2 9+3 CVS 8/11/11
BlueCrane 9+0 EDD 31/5/12

MIA
Mamarara 27+6
ladybird33 27+4 EDD 22/1/12
purpletoes 25+1 EDD 08/02/12
angela85 24+1 #2 EDD 13/2/12

And on the grads thread too:

IreneHeron - DS no 2, 40+2 weeks, EDD 23rd Oct.
Hotnspicyonions - baby#2 40+1 weeks EDD 24th October
Katherine2008 - baby#2 38+5 EDD 10 November
MummyAbroad - baby #2 38+4 wks EDD 4th November
CEP - baby #2 38+3 wks EDD 5th Nov
Collieandpup - baby #1 36+4 wks EDD 20th Nov
Wombatinwaiting - baby # 1 35+5 wks EDD 24th November
LaraMi - baby #1 35+4 weeks EDD 25th November
Izzy - baby #3 35+3 wks EDD 26th November
Bigmacandhappymeal - baby #1 35+0 weeks EDD 29th November
Blackkat - baby #1 34+1 wks EDD 5th December
Minnie74 -baby #1 33+5 wks EDD 12th December
Harassedandherbug - baby #4 31+5 wks EDD 22 December
Dooscooby - baby #1 31+5 wks EDD 22 December
Youremindmeofthebabe - baby #2 29+6 wks EDD 5th January
Sunchild77 - baby #3 29+4 wks EDD 6th Jan - Elcs at 39 wks
Freezingmyarseoff - baby#2 29+3 wks EDD 7th January
Milkyways - baby #2 29+1 wks EDD 8th January
Laylasmummy - 27+3 weeks EDD 21 January
Stitchinline - baby #1 21+6 EDD 29th February
Shellshock7 21+2 EDD 4/3/12

In our thoughts and prayers
Dachs whose beautiful little babies Alexander & Felicia left this world sleeping
Bump, whose baby boy William was born sleeping.

Thinking of.... MumTum; Mistress P, willitbe, twittwooo, Lily06, doitnicely, freelance, Notnowimreading, Moominsummermadness

FWIW I'm much less parpy today!

Knitter - your reputation will go before you after the sleepover

Hi sharon congrats on your BFP I've used the doppler since about 11 weeks, it's been a great help. Hope the MW went well yesterday.

Re flu jab, I'm booked in for mine, have it every year anyway at work so would defo have it now I'm pregnant

Just had a doc appt at the ante-natal clinic - and, bonus, she got the Doppler out at the end. Heartbeat found straightaway then it swam away then she found it again! Feel v lucky to get to hear the hb so soon after the scan.

Currently sat waiting for a blood test - I mentioned the itching so they're just ruling out liver issues.

Glad bottom has calmed down knitter!

I am definitely going to look into the doppler.

I am in an almighty rage tonight. I have been lying it very low for the last three weeks due to terrible nausea. One of my neighbours commented last week she hadn't seen much of me lately, I gave the excuse I hadn't been feeling well. Tonight on DH's way in he stumbled across this neighbour who asked after me and without giving DH a chance to answer followed it up with, "She isn't pregnant is she?" I miscarried 18months ago and there was a bit of a palava afterwards where I had a massive haemorrhage and an ambulance had to come to the flat. This neighbour guessed what was going on from the location of the blood (the ambulance crew didn't take much time at concealing any evidence). I appreciate that since this time people may have been expecting for me to become pregnant again but it's not that easy for some folks and this same neighbour once began complaining to me about how long she was waiting on an NHS waiting list for a hip replacement and made the random suggestion to me not to wait on NHS for IVF but to go private! I had not told her any of my situation and she knows nothing about my health or desire for a pregnancy. Going back to tonight's comment, I am furious that she has asked such a personal questions It is not at all obvious from my physical appearance I am expecting (I am only 9+2 weeks) and she has no evidence this could be the case. She is not a friend, just a nosy old woman who I happen to live above and I am so angry I want to say something to her about it. I haven't even told family about my pregnancy, outside of my parents and sister. Who does this woman think she is asking about such a thing? DH was taken by surprise and said something along the lines of we weren't sure what was up but anything is a possibility.

How would you feel in this situation? Would you say something and if yes what would you say?

sharon am sorry you've had to deal with a nasty nosy neighbour. Completely none of her business and your dh did well to dodge the answer. Tact is clearly not her strong point (advising you to go private for IVF?!) so she probably has no idea of the offence she's caused. I think you've got enough on your plate without having to put her in her place too. People like that rarely change. Ignore is probably the best policy - and on the off chance you bump into her in the hallway employ selective hearing. Worked a treat for me during my first trimester...just don't answer the question and talk about something completely different as though you didn't hear them.

Hello all - I keep slipping off the thread, must try harder and get a laptop

Bump, I am so very desperately sorry to hear of your sad loss. How devastating. William is a beautiful name and he and your family remain in all our thoughts.

SharonD a belated welcome from me. I don't know really re: neighbour. I don't tend to get het up about things so it wouldn't make me mad I don't think. When I lived in London, I always thought it was bit sad that neighbours didn't talk to one another, and if your neighbour is an older woman then she probably feels it's entirely normal to show concern and interest in your health and wellbeing. She may well have experienced MC herself or have daughters who have experienced the pain of loss or subfertility - who knows? I know it's a private and difficult pain, but I sometimes feel that it's a pity these sorts of issues are such a taboo that women suffer them in silence. Anyway, if you were going to say anything, maybe it would be along the lines of 'I heard you were asking after me, I haven't been feeling well because I'm pregnant again but it's such early days and we've not been lucky so far that I'm feeling very anxious about it, so find it difficult to talk about and we want to keep it to ourselves til we feel more confident'. That way you're being honest, both about the situation and your feelings and asking her not to spread it around. Try not to think badly of her though, I'm sure it's well meant, and that she just hoping that it IS good news if she suspects you've had a tough time. Which you have.

limeflower how are you feeling now?
bluecrane are you still out there? doing ok??
Also, I'm a bit worried about boodleboot, I saw her on the miscarriage board a week or so ago going to her follow-up scan but she didn't come back.
and StickThemWithThePointyEnd/IvyS are you still out there? Hope everything's ok.

Kat I hope that doppler is helping you through the long stretch to 20 weeks. I think I'll probably invest in one too, although not sure what sort are available out here and am going to wait until after my first high-risk clinic appt as I want to know what is available to me through them.

Digi I think I said on another thread but thrilled that your Downs risk came back low. You too scarlet great news! I'm keeping my fingers crossed for mine, but haven't had any phone calls and I'm sure they said they would call me if they had any problems.

Goodness LAF look at that! you're at 19 weeks! I'm quite jealous

Knitter at your evening of trumpeting, you need a dog to blame. My wind doesn't seem to make it that far down, I'm a champion burper and have been since about 5 weeks. I hate it, never burp when not pregnant.

Hi there lady The doppler may well just be adding to my mentalling in fact. Sometimes I think I can hear the baby but it is harder than I thought it would be with all the other noise going on down there. I keep thinking "private scan" but we should really be saving the money. I doubt the clinic would give you a doppler, or even endorse you getting one. Doctors and midwives seem to think home use dopplers are the work of the devil!

Oooh, the Doppler debate!! I don't know if I want one or not - worried I wouldn't be able to find it and it would freak me out . But then u want one because I might be able to find it and that would reassure me .

But DH has both feet in the 'it would freak us out' camp so it's a bit of a moot point really, although we did have a 'discussion' when he said 'it would be like when we tried doing the Gina Ford routine (which we tried for one morning before I dissolved into a mumbling heap in the corner), look how stressed that made you' . Ermmm wtf? I don't actually think it's anything like that - gah!

Can you tell I was cross about that? Not least because they situations are nothing alike but reminding me of the day I genuinely thought I'd never be able to look after ds isn't a great move [hangry]

Sharon Your previous mc sounds horribly traumatic. I can understand why having this neighbour prying into your business would be all the more upsetting, as it brings back the memories of the past experience into the present. I would be livid too if I were you. I've found that so many people from friends, family, and acquaintences have said things to me that sound so horrible. I'm sure that they don't mean it in the way it comes across, but it doesn't hurt any less. If I were you, I'd try and avoid her, so you don't have to make any comments or hear any comments that might make you upset. If you say something to put her in her place, you might regret it later on, as you will have to see her on a regular basis.

Digi glad that you got to hear your baby's heartbeat. It is the most wonderful sound in the world I think.

Kat it is hit and miss in the early weeks (post 11 weeks) to be able to hear the heartbeat with the doppler. I did struggle with it too. Having a full bladder does help.

biscuits my husband said the same thing as yours did, that there was no way we would have one. However, he is working away from home during the week, so I bought one anyway. It helps me with my mentalling when I'm at home alone and worried (for no good reason). He seems to like listening to the heartbeat on Friday night when he comes home.

Lady if your clinic is able to give you regular scans, that is better than a doppler for sure!

As for 19 weeks, yes, it does seem like a dream. It is a long stretch from 12 weeks to 20 weeks without a scan. I'm definitely showing now, so it does make it more real. I wish my scan was this Friday instead of next Friday. I think that work is going to be a bit slow for the rest of the week, so time might drag on. I slept for 12 hours last night. I'm not quite sure about the more energetic second trimester at this point in time!

I've updated the list. I've moved Purpletoes to the grads thread as I've been lurking there for the last few days and noticed that she is posting on there. I've moved Mrs Steph to MIA as I haven't seen here on this thread for awhile either.

Hope everyone is OK. Dachs, if you are still lurking, you must be near 12 weeks now. Thinking of you.

Wednesday 26th October 2011

Hairylights 28+3
Pigletmania 27+5
LivinInTheMoment 22+1 EDD 28/02/12
LAF77 19+0, EDD 21/03/11, next scan 4/11/11
Biscuitsandtea 18+1 EDD 27/3/12, next scan 11/11/11
Kat2504 16+0 EDD 11/04/12 next scan 28/11/11
Digitalgirl 15+4 EDD 15/04/12, next scan 11/10/11
LadyMaybe 13+1,
Boodleboot 11+6 EDD 14/5/12
StickThemWithThePointyEnd 10+6
Googie 10+3
LimeFlower baby #1 9+6 wks EDD 24th May
KnitterNotTwitter baby #2 9+4 CVS 8/11/11
BlueCrane 9+1 EDD 31/5/12

MIA
Mamarara 28+0
ladybird33 27+5 EDD 22/1/12
angela85 24+2 #2 EDD 13/2/12
MrsSteph 22+5

And on the grads thread too:

IreneHeron - DS no 2, 40+3 weeks, EDD 23rd Oct.
Hotnspicyonions - baby#2 40+2 weeks EDD 24th October
Katherine2008 - baby#2 38+6 EDD 10 November
MummyAbroad - baby #2 38+5 wks EDD 4th November
CEP - baby #2 38+4 wks EDD 5th Nov
Collieandpup - baby #1 36+5 wks EDD 20th Nov
Wombatinwaiting - baby # 1 35+6 wks EDD 24th November
LaraMi - baby #1 35+5 weeks EDD 25th November
Izzy - baby #3 35+4 wks EDD 26th November
Bigmacandhappymeal - baby #1 35+1 weeks EDD 29th November
Blackkat - baby #1 34+2 wks EDD 5th December
Minnie74 -baby #1 33+6 wks EDD 12th December
Harassedandherbug - baby #4 31+6 wks EDD 22 December
Dooscooby - baby #1 31+6 wks EDD 22 December
Youremindmeofthebabe - baby #2 30+0 wks EDD 5th January
Sunchild77 - baby #3 29+5 wks EDD 6th Jan - Elcs at 39 wks
Freezingmyarseoff - baby#2 29+4 wks EDD 7th January
Milkyways - baby #2 29+2 wks EDD 8th January
Laylasmummy - 27+4 weeks EDD 21 January
purpletoes 25+2 EDD 08/02/12
Stitchinline - baby #1 22+0 EDD 29th February
Shellshock7 21+3 EDD 4/3/12

In our thoughts and prayers
Dachs whose beautiful little babies Alexander & Felicia left this world sleeping
Bump, whose baby boy William was born sleeping.

Thinking of.... MumTum; Mistress P, willitbe, twittwooo, Lily06, doitnicely, freelance, Notnowimreading, Moominsummermadness

Well ladies I've been officially discharged from the recurrent miscarriage clinic - had my last scan with them, and my screening tests back today and everything seems ok. Downs risk came back at 1:3700 which I'm happy with considering my age alone risk is 1:190. The other trisomies came back significantly lower again.
So isn't it typical of the pg after mc gods that today I had my first spotting of the pregnancy
I'm not freaking out too much, as I was warned that i might see some after a subchorionic haematoma was spotted in last week's scan, and it hasn't been much. Weirdly, it just appears on my liner, but when I wiped, ahem, thoroughly there's nothing on the paper. Anyway, there was a bit before the scan, and a bit after but none since so I'm just going to chill tonight and see what, if anything, tomorrow brings.
Did make me think again about the Doppler issue though. Still undecided on that one.
I think dachs is about a week further on than me...

So now I am wondering about telling DS. He's 3.7, do you think it's too early to tell him given his concept of time is not great - although his birthday is April and my edd is in may so could just say it'll be after your birthday. Or wait until it's more obvious, further along? Now my early bloat has gone I don't look pg, just my usually rounded self what do you think?