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Freak Out Room For Those Newly Diffed Up After MC Part IX

999 replies

LAF77 · 27/09/2011 08:52

Just found out you are pregnant after a previous miscarriage and too nervous to move over the to pregnancy boards? Freaking out about spotting, cramping, symptoms (or lack there of) and nervously awaiting your first scan? Here is a lovely place for lot's of support, hand holding and problem sharing.

Courtesy of owlbooty here are the Ten Commandments of the Freak Out Room.

  1. Thou shalt check thy knickers to the point of insanity until the baby actually arrives.
  2. Thou shalt also check the loo roll post-wipeage (sorry, gross, I know)
  3. Thou shalt bore thy physician and midwife to tears with the mentalling.
  4. And thy husband/boyfriend/family/neighbour's cat.
  5. Thou shalt obsess over the absence of symptoms.
  6. And the presence of symptoms.
  7. And the fluctuation of symptoms.
  8. Thou shalt pee on a vast number of sticks and keep ClearBlue and First Response in business.
  9. The day before any scan extreme mentalling is permitted without recourse to the Haddock.
10. Self-diagnosis with Dr Google is Forbidden.

The Haddock will be applied liberally to all transgressors.

See here for the previous thread

OP posts:
digitalgirl · 13/10/2011 17:59

googie if DH is being super helpful, get him to make appointment with gynae. I always get DH to call up medical people when I'm feeling particular weak willed. Makes him feel useful.

litlady welcome to the thread. Sorry for your losses Sad, but congratulations on your bfp Grin! I would see if you could get a scan for next week to rule out ectopic, potentially you'll be 6 weeks so you may see a HB (but don't worry if you dont). I wouldn't leave it any later than that with a history of ep. With DS I had a scan at 4 weeks (prebooked to check for gynae issues, but kept it even though I got pg) - and they saw a small sac in the right place. If you can't face the EPU, which I totally understand, do you think you could find another hospital with a walk-in or even pay for a private scan?

biscuits My private guy is a recurrent miscarriage specialist who has been treating me for high nk cells. He prescribed me various drugs to take during ttc and pregnancy - including steroids, which I'm now weaning off having got past the first trimester. I could have seen him on the NHS but it would have been a much longer waiting list. So DH and I decided to go private and it was the best decision we ever made. Luckily my GP has been very supportive of the treatment plan and has re-written all the private prescriptions on the NHS.
re: 16 week MW appt, apparently for second timers we don't see her until 28 weeks Shock. I have an appt with the hospital ante-natal doctor (obstetrician?) at 17 weeks and he will decide what further care I need, whether I should get extra scans or extra mw appointments. I'm pretty sure my MW said I could call up for a 24 week appt if I really wanted one, but she didn't say anything re: 16 weeks I guess because she knew I'd be seeing a doc and hopefully getting a doppler check.

LimeFlower · 13/10/2011 18:46

moomin wishing you speedy recovery and all the luck in the world.Hope to see you soon here with some good news.
googie step away from google!Whatever symptoms you have it always leads to terminal illness(according to google).Sending gentle haddock towards you.
litlady congratulations on your bfp.As digi says,I'd contact your GP to organize early scan to rule out ectopic.

I was back at the doc today as my cold came back-all snotty again and barking cough.She said that my immune system is compromised due to being pg and it might take a bit longer to overcome cold as my body is busy elsewhere:)

Just coughed that my belly hurt.Ouch.Enlarged glands,last time I had them like this 2 shots of whisky put me straight.Unfortunately it's not the case this time.Going to stuff myself with garlic tonight,inhalations and put vaporub on my chest.If you know anything else I could do to get rid of the bastard cold please let me know.

Anyway,no bleeding,boobs still sore,still retching and in this sorry state I managed to get to 8 weeks so congratulations to myself:)
If anybody updates the list could you please put me on it?
LimeFlower baby no1 8+0 wks EDD 24th May
Thank you)

LAF77 · 13/10/2011 20:34

googie i hope that you are OK now and that you can get an appointment tomorrow to put your mind at rest. Perhaps if you turn on the water works and fret about your history of previous mc, they will give in. I've never been afraid to be emotional especially if I think it will get me something that I need. I found a http://www.brooksidepress.org/Products/Military_OBGYN/Ultrasound/1st_trimester_ultrasound_scannin.htm link that you can comfort yourself with. This is most helpful

In the presence of uterine bleeding, visualization of a gestational sac, a yolk sac, a fetal pole and fetal heart beat changes the risk of a threatened abortion leading to miscarriage from 50/50 to about 5%

moomin I'm so angry reading your post about how you were treated in the EPU. I had a traumatising time too in my visits there, and miscarriage is so hard, let alone going through appalling treatment like that. You should add your story to the MN miscarriage campaign to shame the NHS into ensuring that everyone going through the trauma is granted some dignity.

litlady welcome to you. We are here to support you. Like everyone else, I echo the sentiments about getting an early scan if you have had previous etopic pregnancies. I don't think it is an unreasonable request. I am a firm believer that you have to really manage your own care on the NHS. You have to push for what you want because it won't always be forthcoming.

stitch you aren't overreacting to the pain you are feeling if you have been in ICU after trying to tough it out. Before my miscarriages, I had a really bad period of illness and NHS Direct, and the GP kept telling me it was a 48 hour bug, but when I wasn't getting any better after 48 hours, and I felt that I would rather die than carry on like this, I went to the ER, they acknowledged that it wasn't because I was running a temperature and diagnosed a bladder infection. The doctor on call asked why I hadn't come in sooner. I explained that I tried to, but no one believed me that I was ill. I changed GP surgeries after that experience.

digi I empathise with your situation and not wanting to tell the woman about your situation, but you are definitely doing the right thing by avoiding risks. Everything does change when you are pg. You want to keep out of harm's way. It does seem like there is a long time between appointments once you've left the intensive hand-holding from monitoring in the first trimester. I'm interested to see that you don't have to be on steroids throughout the whole pg.

scarlett glad that you had a good scan, it sounds like you are low risk for Downs. I believe that the cut-off where they start to worry is 3.5mm. My hospital did give me the measurement which was 1.7mm at 12+2 and I have a 1 in 4300 chance of Downs, so with a measurement of 1.2mm, you are in good stead.

biscuits I had my MW appointment too today. I could have written the same post! The heartbeat was 140 bpm, which I'm led to believe is likely to indicate a boy! My urine sample was fine. They didn't weigh me this time. The MW didn't really seem that interested in all honesty as it was a different one this time. I was in an out in about 15 mins which was a bit surprising, considering I'm a "high risk" pregnancy because of past issues. I have a consultant appt tomorrow, so I'll see what she has to say. I've signed up to get the flu vaccine in a couple of weeks too as I'm trying to play it safe.

Waves to lime and lady

OP posts:
LAF77 · 13/10/2011 20:43

I thought I'd take a turn doing the list, hope I haven't messed it up for anyone!

List for Friday 14th October

Hairylights 26+5
Pigletmania 26+0
MrsSteph 21+0
LivinInTheMoment 20+3 EDD 28/02/12
Shellshock7 19+5 EDD 4/3/12 next scan 17/10/11
LAF77 17+2, EDD 21/03/11, next scan 4/11/11
Biscuitsandtea 16+0 EDD 27/3/12, next scan 11/11/11
Kat2504 14+1 EDD 12/04/12
Digitalgirl 13+5 EDD 15/04/12, next scan 11/10/11
LadyMaybe 11+3, Next scan 20/10/11
Boodleboot 10+1 EDD 14/5/12
StickThemWithThePointyEnd 9+1
Googie 8+5
KnitterNotTwitter 8+2
LimeFlower baby no1 8+1 wks EDD 24th May
BlueCrane 7+3 EDD 31/5/12 Early scan 20/10/11

MIA
Bump 27+1 EDD 14/01/12
Mamarara 26+2
ladybird33 26+0 EDD 22/1/12
purpletoes 23+4EDD 08/02/12 next scan 04/10/11
angela85 baby #2 22+4 EDD 13/2/12

And on the grads thread too:

IreneHeron - DS no 2, 38+5 weeks, EDD 23rd Oct.
Tunnocksteacake - baby#2 38+4 weeks EDD 24th October
Hotnspicyonions - baby#2 38+4 weeks EDD 24th October
Velvetcu - baby#1 38+3 wks EDD 25th October
Katherine2008 - baby#2 37+1 EDD 10 November
MummyAbroad - baby #2 37+0 wks EDD 4th November
CEP - baby #2 36+6 wks EDD 5th Nov
Collieandpup - baby #1 35+0 wks EDD 20th Nov
Wombatinwaiting - baby # 1 34+1 wks EDD 24th November
LaraMi - baby #1 34+0 weeks EDD 25th November
Izzy - baby #3 33+6 wks EDD 26th November
Bigmacandhappymeal - baby #1 33+3 weeks EDD 29th November
Blackkat - baby #1 32+4 wks EDD 5th December
Minnie74 -baby #1 32+1 wks EDD 12th December
Harassedandherbug - baby #4 30+1 wks EDD 22 December
Dooscooby - baby #1 30+1 wks EDD 22 December
Youremindmeofthebabe - baby #2 28+2 wks EDD 5th January
Sunchild77 - baby #3 28+0 wks EDD 6th Jan - Elcs at 39 wks
Freezingmyarseoff - baby#2 27+6 wks EDD 7th January
Milkyways - baby #2 27+5 wks EDD 8th January
Laylasmummy - 25+6 weeks EDD 21 January
Stitchinline - baby #1 20+2 EDD 29th February

In our thoughts and prayers
Dachs whose beautiful little babies Alexander & Felicia left this world sleeping

Thinking of.... MumTum; Mistress P, willitbe, twittwooo, Lily06, doitnicely, freelance, Notnowimreading, Moominsummermadness

OP posts:
KnitterNotTwitter · 13/10/2011 21:57

Hey
Just checking in and catching up
moomin so sorry to hear your sad news - stay strong.

Having had a previous Downs pregnancy I can self-refer for a CVS at 11 weeks. So i've now got appointments: 3/11 for the bloods and 8/11 for the CVS. I've also pretty much decided that i'm going to go for some sort of reassurance scan at 9 weeks because I don't think I'll be able to wait until then! I thought I would but I've decided that I cant... So that'll probably be on the 21st as I work from home on Fridays... Will just pop along after dropping DS at school...

All this week i've been feeling pretty nausious the whole time - and in the afternoons i'm so drained that people keep asking me if I'm ok! Worked from home today and ended up sleeping in the afternoon!

googietheegg · 13/10/2011 22:28

laf thank you so much for that, it's reassuring. I'm annoying myself with being unable to think about anything else, with every tiny feeling in my tummy or trip to the loo stressing me out. This place is brilliant!

Biscuitsandtea · 14/10/2011 09:44

Morning,

Hope everyone is doing ok today - have been thinking about you all.

Googie did you manage to get a gynae appt today?

Stitch how are you doing? Any more pain? Have you called your mw?

Ladymaybe how did your appt go yesterday? OK I hope

stitchinline · 14/10/2011 11:50

Hi everyone

Was naughty and didn't call mw, it all settled down and couldn't deal with the hassle of it all. Still getting good hb with doppler and in fact where I get it most often is exactly where the pain is. Guess it might be lying on a nerve there.

Had a really good pilates class last night, lots of lovely stretching.

googie hope you are doing ok

ladymaybe hope yesterday went well

limeflower i tried all that and nothing worked - sorry! also used a saline nose spray and eating honey but all that did was make me puke. Only getting antibiotics after 10 torturous days of being poorly seemed to do anything. I was at the point of coughing so much it would just make me throw up - ah the glamour of being pregnant.

knitter good for you on booking the CVS, I had a scan at 9 weeks and it was good to see that evrything was progressing as it shoudl be at that stage

LAF you just reminded me I need to get the flu vax too

waves to LAF digi, scarlett, biscuits, shellshock, and welcome to litlady - sorry if I missed anyone

someone better get the haddock out - am obsessively weighing myself at the moment - almost back up to my bfp weight - lost quite a bit with all the not eating and puking up the rest up til now and was overweight to start.
Bad i know, but with all the talks I get about being high risk for things i am so concerned, have nightmares about getting PE or having placental abruption (their favourite thing to scare me with). I should be logical and think that with all the fragmin and aspirin i'm putting in my system the risk should be the same as anyone else but hard to be clear headed about this whole preg malarkey. sorry just needed to get that off my chest and already feeling a bit better. Blush

10 days to scan day.........also see my mw and anti-co consultant that day too so hopefully will get a better idea of my future plan re appointments / scans etc...

Velvetcu · 14/10/2011 12:40

knitter well done for booking cvs. Fx for you

shellshock7 · 14/10/2011 13:13

Fantastic that you heard the HB biscuits, I loved that hearing it at the MW as it reassured me that what I was picking up on the doppler was defo the baby!

Congrats on your BFP litlady Smile

LAF I think the HB for gender has been disproved by a 'scientific' study which showed it to be wrong in 80% of cases!! How did you sign up for the flu jab, I have this on my to do list, but don't want to make a docs appt only to be told to come back on another day? Hope your consultant appt went smoothly.

Good luck for your scan next week knitter, don't blame you for wanting an early reassurance and everything crossed for the CVS.

stitch as long as you aren't metalling as much and finding a good HB always helps!! Putting me to shame doing pilates tho Blush I'm a total non-exerciser in pregnancy! I'm not mentalling about weight, but it is in the back of my mind that I'm not putting much on...my tummy is bloody big for 20 weeks and I've not really put any weight on which just doesn't make sense to me? Hopefully your mw / consultant will put your mind at rest stitch

googietheegg · 14/10/2011 13:41

hi there,

Just got back from the scan and I think I am reassured but not totally sure - the gyne said the baby is fine, did a scan and saw everything, even little legs, and she printed out the pics for us. But, looking at the pics it says the hb is 111 bpm at 9 weeks, which the lovely doctor google tells me is not very good.

Anyone know about heartbeat rates and what it means?

Congrats litlady on your bfp - all things crossed for a happy and healthy 9 months.

stitch v impressed with your exercise!

good luck knitter and positive waves to everyone else.

Biscuitsandtea · 14/10/2011 13:47

googie glad you got a scan and got to see your little bean. I really don't know a lot about heart rates etc (but I do know tat Dr Google is B.A.D. . What did the gynae say about it?

Do you think it would be worth calling the gynae back and asking - there's no point in your worrying unnecessarily about something when s/he might be able to put your mind at rest in a few seconds?

googietheegg · 14/10/2011 13:53

Hi biscuits the gyne didn't seem concerned, tbh, and gave me all the forms to officiate my pregnancy, but DH and I are not thinking it looks good from google (i know, it's wretched...but not at all reassuring)

Biscuitsandtea · 14/10/2011 14:19

What about where you went for your scan Googie - would they be able to comment on it, or offer any advice? Or even do another scan?

I really wish I could be of more help for you but I really don't know anything about it - sorry xx

Biscuitsandtea · 14/10/2011 14:21

Scratch that Googie just remember your other scan was in the UK right? and then you've had a scan today.

Am hoping someone will come along with a good idea of something you could do as I'm hitting something of a blank - sorry. There must be a way to get some reassurance though I think (I just don't know what it is)

googietheegg · 14/10/2011 19:47

Thanks biscuits

Does anyone know about heart rates? Google looks like it's saying 111bpm at 9 weeks is the lowest side of healthy, and the gyne didn't seem concerned, but there are so many scare stories on the Internet I'm forcing myself to stop looking.

Biscuitsandtea · 14/10/2011 20:05

I think stopping looking is very wise Googie. it's always the scare stories that are on the Internet because the ones where it's fine probably never end up writing about it! In many cases I bet people don't even know if the medical person isn't concerned (iyswim). For example, they only told me the number for our heartbeat because I commented on it being slower than DSs. Otherwise they wouldn't have mentioned the actual number. So I am sure if it is in the normal range there are plenty of people who have the same number and probably don't even know it.

Now, when is your next scan / appt? I think if I were you I'd be tempted to mention it at the next appt and see if they'll check it for you?

digitalgirl · 14/10/2011 20:24

googie if it's any consolation when one of my previous pregnancies was scanned and shown to have a slow heartrate they actually mentioned on my notes as 'bradycardic'. Didn't explain what that meant I had to look it up. At the follow up scan the next week it was clearly very slow when looking at it on screen and it hadn't grown by the right amount. I mc'ed the next day. What I'm trying to say is the fact you're still measuring correctly compared to your last scan is very good news. It means your baby is growing as it should. I don't know about heartrates, but if the sonographer says it's fine then it probably is or she would have flagged it up and asked to see you again shortly.
I think if you can't put these worries to the back of your mind and you're unconfortable with questioning the same sonographer then it can't hurt to ask for a second opinion if you think that will put your mind at ease. But step away from dr google...he's not so reliable.

scarletfingernail · 14/10/2011 20:34

googie just echoing what everyone else has said really. I don't know anything about heartrates so can't offer any info. As you've already Googled and are now worried the only thing that will make you feel better is asking a professional about it.

As Biscuits said it only tends to be the sad stories on the internet. I'm sure there must be thousands of babies with various heartrates including slightly slower ones that are absolutely fine. The ones you've read about unfortunately may have had various other factors to cause concern as well as a slower heartrate, but your gynae has assured you everything is fine.

I hope someone can put your mind at rest for you asap.

Ains16 · 14/10/2011 21:45

Hello everyone.....can I join you? Think I could cry with happiness after finding you....been looking for a group where I would fit in with all my neuroticness and over analysing...... Am on my 4th pregnancy with the 2nd one ending in mmc am 12+4 at moment and not due to have my 12 week scan for another week. I am a definate no. 5 on the list at the start of the thread. You would think that with reaching full term twice I would know what to expect but I just cant remember and this pregnancy has just been so different so far anyway. All my symptoms seem to have gone n just really dont feel pregnant anymore....but then am asking myself what pregnancy feels like is it a lot of nothingness until you can feel baby move?? Have practically convinced myself that am going in for bad news next week and am trying to prepare myself for the same news that we had before. Ugh less than a week till the scan now, so getting there.

Hope all is well with everyone x x

pigletmania · 15/10/2011 09:09

Welcome Ains16 Smile, you will find everyone here very supportive and lovely.

pigletmania · 15/10/2011 09:09

and lots of mentalling going on.

Biscuitsandtea · 15/10/2011 09:53

Welcome Ains - and congratulations on your pregnancy!

You've done fantastically already to get to 12 weeks so well done indeed - but I do understand that (especially given your history) that there will be much mentalling until the scan next week.

Symptoms are a devil too though aren't they as any absence / presence / fluctuation sets you off panicking doesn't it. The good thing is that as you're 12 weeks already, according to the books some of the early symptoms are supposed to subside anyway.

I'm currently 16 weeks but have spent a few weeks now in this 'in between stage' where (apart from my tummy getting bigger) I could be entirely mistaken about being pregnant as there are no movements yet, but no sickness / extreme tiredness either. I'm feeling a little calmer than usual as we heard the heartbeat at the midwife on Thursday but no doubt as I get closer to the 20 week scan I'll gradually increase my panic levels. Although I'm hoping that because I already have DS so this is second time around, I might get to feel some kicks a little earlier than last time so am hoping they're starting to appear before the 20 week scan. I think I was quite late feeling kicks from DS though because I'm a little chubby Wink so am not panicking about no kicks yet....

As Piglet says, we're here for all manner of hand holding and support. When is your scan (if you don't mind my asking?)

LAF77 · 15/10/2011 19:44

googie going to have slap you with the haddock. If your baby is measuring right for the growth rates that you are at, things are good. The heart rate doesn't sound like it is bradycardiac. Like digi I had this prognosis when I went for a follow-up scan after the baby was measuring 2 weeks behind my actual dates. I miscarried shortly thereafter. If your dates seem right, then I wouldn't worry. Sorry to give you tough love, but having been through it on the wrong side, it doesn't sound like you are in danger. However, I'm not a medical professional, and if you were concerned, you should contact your midwife and ask for clarification.

Welcome ains feel free to waffle away here with your anxieties! Well done for making it to 12 weeks. Symptoms (and lack of symptoms) can stress you out.

I had an appt with the consultant yesterday. I'm not sure I'm a big fan of her and her attitude, but I am deemed to be a high risk pregnancy because of my TEG results, so I will be scanned every 4 weeks after the 20 week scan. I suppose that there isn't too much I can object to after being told I get a lot of attention. She queried my diagnosis of high MA clotting levels, asked me what that meant (as if I would know!), looked it up on google and wikipedia, in front of me, told me that in the US they give out 150mg dose of aspirin as standard, not like 75mg empirical dose over here. I don't know what I was supposed to make of that comment, but I know what St. Mary's has told me, I've come this far thanks to their research. I may end up giving birth in another hospital anyway, so I'm not going to let her stress me out. The sonographer will become my friend, and she will tell me how things are looking first.

I seem to be alternating nights of bad sleep. I woke up at 1 and went back to sleep after 4 again last night, like I did on Wednesday night. I hope that this stops and I get back to sleeping like a log again. Perhaps my body is trying to get me used to sleep deprivation!

OP posts:
googietheegg · 15/10/2011 20:40

Welcome ains well done on getting to 12 weeks.

Thanks for the haddock laf it's strangely reassuring. I do hope you sleep well tonight ( my fave trick is to imagine walking round a supermarket I know well and looking at all the isles in order ... Blush )

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