Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your leathers, black nail polish, air guitar and jump in the mosh pit for some serious metalling. All welcome! (Part 17)

[MarathonMama]

Hello! Just miscarried and ready to start again, come and join us...

Have sent you some pics of the house, inc the kitchen. They will explain the hollow laughter.

Oft. Is that why you spend so much time out walking your dog??? Sounds very scenic and pretty where you live, at least there are plenty nice places to escape to. Ooooh, you'll need to keep us updated when you start the decorating. I am obsessed with LOVE decorating/upholstery/furniture/wallpaper/lamps/rugs/lovechairs/lamps/furniture/tables/lamps/fairylights........

all I need to do is figure out how to find said pics

It is very scenic and pretty, it's beautiful. I guess I do walk her a lot to escape a bit, yes, but its also as I like exploring. Hopefully, and not too far away, the whole house will look as good as the bedroom.
The kitchen is actually a bit better now, the walls are plastered (in the pics you can see the plaster is crumbling off) but it's miles away from being finished. Or even worked on, now I think of it, as the bathroom is the current project.

Oh, I thought you had seen them. The FB link says to send the link below and other people can see them. Not sure what to suggest other than cutting and pasting...

Found them! It will look amazing when it's all done the way you want, will be worth the hard work! Well, that's DD in, will go grab a quick chat with her before she goes to bed, or plugs herself into Ipad.
Night! Back to metalling tomorrow no doubt!

chat tomorrow, you decorating enthusiast!
night!

Morning all.

Baby - it will be worth it once it is all done. No point rushing it you want to get it right first time.

Tap dancing hey ladies!!! I gave it a go but have the coordination of an elephant, look like it too, so not a good look. One of those things you just have to do as a little girl isn't it!

Well I have managed to top feeling like death yesterday and feel worse today - off to get lemsip and see if i can get on top of this stinking cold.#

Not too sure about the wedding it is going to be a very lovely day. It is my step sister who I really don't know well at all. It is going to be full of very beautiful people I always feel akward.

DP is having to go away with work next week, so I am guessing that will be me out of the June boat :-( We shall see what happens.

Hope everyone has something more exciting than house work planned for today ;-)

Thank Crunchie it's Friday!!

Work for me today eve. But I am babystitting my gorgeous wee nephew tonight, so am looking forward to that. And I can -cautiously- tell him his little cousin's on the way since, of course, he can't spill the beans as he won't really have a clue what I'm on about. But, at least I'll have told someone! (apart from my wonderful MN peeps of course!)

My BF texted from Gran Canaria last night, just a general 'having fab time, weather great, food great, managing not to kill DH.' kinda text, then asking what was happening in Missgiraffe land this week. I was desperate to tell her! She's having us over for dinner next Thursday, and I know her DH is making King Prawn Satay (which is to die for) so that's a good excuse for blabbing!

Morning all it would seem that our favourite Aunt heard my whispers yesterday morning saying she'd gone and came back to wave goodbye last night with some more spotting wish she'd just go away...grrrr! Work so so busy today as I'm off on hols next week (Isle of Wight) so just a quick post and will catch up properly tonight or tomorrow before we go on Sunday. Work is pretty hideous and I was v v stressed out with it yesterday - Client being totally unreasonable but not much I can do about it...wouldn't be quite so bad if I was in next week but a real pain as I have to hand everything over to a colleague I've not worked with before...aaand the car has gone in for service & MOT today which always has me on tenterhooks waiting to hear if everything's ok! It's only 3 yrs old so should be fine, but I'm still nervous!!

Hope everyone else is ok?

PS missg if you can't eat the King Prawn Satay then I'll have it for you!! mmm...sounds yummy!

Blue it is amazing. He makes his own satay sauce, and gets these humungous, meaty prawns from a fab fishmongers in Glasgow. I almost licked the pattern off the plate the first time he made it for us!

Can't believe the spotting has stared again Maybe it won't last long. And it had better stay away for your holiday
Can sympathise with you re work. I would say " at least once you hand over you can forget about it and go on holiday" but I know it's not always that easy. My work's been manic this past 2 weeks. I work in a team of 5 (only recently become 5 due to excessive workload issues) but the 5th doesn't do any representational work yet, as it will take a bit of time for her to develop to that level. 2 of my colleagues have been off on leave this past 2 weeks, so it's pretty been the other 2 of us covering, as most stuff that's come in has been at the higher level. And I have had this horrible cold, now have a bark that would rival a rottweiler. Talking about difficult clients, My DH took 2 calls on Christmas day! He has a lot of clients in the far East. Once we have babies, I'll be putting a stop to that

Hope your car's ok. My new one is great. And the fact that it is never likely to break down in the Clyde Tunnel is a bonus . I am one of those people who name their cars, and this one os Disco Dingbat

(I really should be working but have lost all motivation...)

hi everyone

i am still waiting for af. it will be 9 weeks on sunday since mc. i am going to do a pg test later and see what that says. it is extremeley unlikely i will be pg as we have been using condoms but am going to check just in case. doing my temping in the mornings but i suppose that doesn't really tell me anything until i have a couple of months of info.

in a masterstroke on genius i am going to buy a fiat 500 tomorrow. i am hoping this will tempt fate as it's a bit inappropriate for a baby!! i was saving to buy a family car but i am banking on sod's law to work for me!!

anyone else doing inappropriate things in a bid to tempt fate?

Pebspop how frustrating for you The further along you are, the higher your HcG level gets (although it does plateau after a certain stage - 12 weeks maybe?), and the longer it takes to come down. And, your cycle will only kick start properly again after your HcG drops to below a certain level. I'm not medically qualified, but when I had an ectopic last year, I was told that HcG should fall at roughly the same rate as it rises (doubles every 48-72 hours). It took 10 weeks for mine to drop to below 5, and I onlt got to 8.5 weeks. Could you ask your GP/EPU to do a blood test, then another 48 hours later? Might set your mind at ease. And, not that it helps much, but everyone is different, and whilst rules of thumb exists, there seems to be a lot of variables.

I like your theory! Taking on Sod's law I hope you win! I ate Camembert on Saturday . Kind of stupid really, and actually unintentional, as I honestly didn't think I would be as lucky as to conceive in only cycle 2 after MC. But there you go. Had also been considering booking a hol to Disney for next Summer, but couldn't quite bring myself to do it in the end.

Peps I did lots of inappropriate things, and it worked! I gave away my pregnancy clothes, chucked out my Pregnacare, invited a million people (well, ish) for Christmas, agreed to go abroad with three kids later in the year. It's the best thing for it I reckon. Have you seen a doctor? I was told to make an appointment if AF hadn't arrived after 6 weeks.

MissG and Baby, blimey you guys are talkers! MissG, you can eat the Satay, they've changed the advice on peanuts, according to my midwife they're fine now and the prawns are ok if properly cooked. You don't have to miss out! Of course, if you'd prefer to pretend you can't eat it so that you have a good excuse to tell your friend How are you feeling?

Baby glad things are moving along house-wise, hope it gets sorted soon.

Blue Grrr to your AF, she sounds particularly evil. Will send her some evil stares...

Eve get well soon! Keep thinking of tap dancing elephants, which is making me chuckle.

Manda how long to go until you POAS? Hope you're ok?

Zebra yay for jumping on the June bus, you've got nothing to lose! Have you had a BFN yet? Worth testing before you start trying again as it can cause some anxiety if you get a BFP without a BFN first (it can be left over HcG from mc).

Who else is waiting to POAS?

I'm having a bad day today. I'm 12 weeks (eek!) but feeling a bit down. DH and I had a massive row on Weds night. A long story but it included how unsupported I felt after the mc and how I didn't feel that he cared that I was pg again. He called me a "brutal bitch" and "f**king annoying" It was awful and I still feel down about it now although we have made up. I think it might take some time for us to both get over it, it was by far the worst argument we've ever had.

I also got an email from one of my friends, sent to a group of us inviting us to her house on Monday. In the email she mentions that her friend "Sarah" will be there too. I'm slightly narked as her friend "Sarah" is actually my friend. I introduced them at my house a few weeks ago. "Sarah" emailed me when I was away on holiday suggesting a get together but I as I was away I sent her my friend's number and suggested they meet up instead, and they did. Now it seems they are meeting up without me. I wouldn't mind this so much apart from the group email which seems like my friend is trying to rub my nose in it. What do you think? Am I being paranoid?

Anyway, I'm hoping it's just one of those days and will eat a Crunchie to cheer myself up.

Hello to everyone I missed

giraffe thanks for that, i was 20 weeks when i found out about the mcc so i suppose af might not come for a while yet.

marathon no-one really told me anything about when to expect AF. i was expecting it to be the same as last time when i had mc at 11 weeks. it would annoy me that your friend has stolen your other friend but try not to let it get to you. you could all be friends together and it may be fun!

maybe i should go to the doctors about my missing af. i have never been to the gp for anything pregnancy/mc related - they won't know who i am lol i have only been once since i joined the surgery four years ago!!

i should be getting my consultant appointment towards the end of this month so not sure if i should just wait for that as the doctor might just tell me to wait anyway. does anyone know what the doctor might say/do if i go now?

Marathon I just wrote you a massive post and lost it! Sorry to hear of your argument. My theory is that men fall into 3 categories:

1. Those who are very sensitive and understand the complicated emotions a MC brings, are attentive, sensitive, can show that side of themselves and can therefore be a great support to wife/partner
2. Those who know and understand that their wife/partner is going through a range of emotions and a very tough time, but don't know how to show it, or show their own emotions, so don't know how to be supportive etc
3. Those who just don't understand

It's really tough, and the pain and effects of a MC do not just disappear once you're pg again, or a few months down the line. And it can be even tougher if your DH falls into 2 or 3. Perhaps sitting down and having a talk bout your argument would be the best, telling him that you weren't meaning to be critical of him just for the sake of it, but it is because you are still hurting about the MC, and they way he reacted to it wasn't helpful? Sorry if this is rubbish advice (I'm not actually sure I would take it myself, as I'm not sure talking about these things with my DH helps (not sure if mine is a 2 or 3, probably a 3), as it makes no difference to the way he is/acts!)

Here, you can have my last rolo x

And re your friends? I agree, it's a bit odd. Why not e-mail you first, say they had been talking about meeting up, check you were free, then do the group e-mail? Is your friend insecure by any chance, and quite excited about this new friendship? Maybe you wouldn't be so annoyed about it if you weren't upset about your row (but then again maybe your friend is a bit of show off/friend thief and needs a slap????? )

It was the prawns I was worried about. I thought that prawns were ok if they had been frozen before as well as well cooked? As tempted as I am, I'm not sure I could eat them. Knowing my luck, revised guidance would come out the next day saying "Stay away from prawns PG ladies!"

Awww, thanks MissG, that's good advice. DH is definitely a number 3 on your list. Love him as a do, he just doesn't do emotion, I've only seen him cry twice. I think the whole thing has left us both feeling a bit tender and I'm hoping that time will make it better.

I think my friend is insecure. She's expecting her second child imminently and she thought that I would be having one soon after and we'd be in it together. I know she's worried about coping with two. "Sarah", the other friend, has just had her second and has a DD who is the same age as my friend's and my DDs, so I suspect my friend is trying to establish a friendship with someone who's in the same boat (as it were). I think it's a good idea and I don't begrudge them doing it, I just felt a bit when I read the email and it said "I've got my friend Sarah coming round on Monday if you'd like to join us" without saying I've got OUR friend or just "Sarah" coming round. It's like she's deliberately trying to push me out. I think it is made worse because I'm still feeling low about the argument, I'm sure I'll feel better about it tomorrow.

Anyway, you need to add another one to your list:

1. Men who can't bloody load the dishwasher and put things in so that when you take them out they've flipped over and are full of dirty water. Are you listening DH??? I hope not

Can you tell I've just unloaded it

Anyway, I asked my mw about prawns because I love them and she said they were fine in moderation but not to have too many in a week because they're bottom dwellers (no idea what the point is, I suppose it depends on the type of bottom...)

Hello all,
Just got back in from yet another mammoth dog walk. I think my waistline is starting to see the benefits too, at least I bloody hope so! Maybe this too can be under the tempting fate / sods law stuff - ie get slimmer just before getting pg and therefore getting spherical! I can but hope!

MarathonMama hope you're feeling a bit more chipper. These things take time (cliche I know) and ups and downs must be very much par the course. As for the dishwasher stuff, my DH can be similarly frustrating! We are currently having to wash up in the Victorial ceramic sink in the cellar and have a minimum amount of crockery here as we don't want to have to move boxes of stuff about and currently have nowhere to put it. DH offered to make us poached eggs on the campstove and then realised, as the eggs were done, we had nothing to eat them off. Sounds ridiculous now but it was irritating at the time. As is the tip he makes wherever he has been working, I am the opposite and can't work somehwere that's a tip whereas he seems oblivious.

I have been reading what you are all saying about peanuts / prawns etc with a wry smile. When I was pg I looked into the 'facts' behind the sort cheese etc no go areas and found them largely over the top considering the apparent 'risks.' However, now I have had a mc I think I would be VERY careful about what to eat now regardless! 'Just in case' and all that...

I am looking after my five month old neice tomorrow. Eeek! Sure it'll be fine, and I'm looking forward to it, but I suspect by this time tomorrow I'll be absolutely bloody knackered!! We think we might go off to the coast as it can hopefully wear out both the baby and the dog, but maybe wait and see what the weather is like first.

My cousin's girlfriend is still, as far as I am aware, not in proper labour, but has been havinhg contractions, on and off, since Saturday. They come every 8 mins but then it slows to 12 and then 15 and then tails off, only to start again a few hours later. She is getting really pissed off as she is both exhausted and has barely left the house (when she has the contractions they are really painful so she can't really be out and about.) Poor bugger!

Yikes, I was just reading up on foods to avoid and I came across this qwn the NHS website:

"Hi, I had consumed 30ml(Bailey's whisky) on the 9th day after conception (i.e first week of my pregnancy). Would that be a problem? Someone please advise on this..
Thanks,"

I know many of these are probably intentionally written by the NHS, but how about being a bit more realistic:

"I gubbed a bottle of High Tide's yummy Cabernet Sauvignon on Friday night then found out I was pg on the Monday. Will I be ok? " (I sure bloody hope so!)

Hi all - will catch up properly later (after my take away when my blood sugar will be sufficient to actually remember what I'm talking about and to who)

Just wanted to say to MissG that I checked the seafood advise with my midwife at my appointment as it's my face thing ever......the current advice is to eat it if you trust the source and are sure it's been cooked properly. If it's been pre frozen then the risk is even lower. The issue with shellfish was the concern about red tide poisoning but obviously food standards (in most places) have improved a lot since that advice was given. She did say don't go mad and have it every day but if you treat it like you would tuna ie only having a certain serving per week you should be more than fine. After getting the go ahead I had huge king prawns at a restaurant and I felt great knowing I had checked it before hand.

Additionally on the things to avoid - I had a stinking cold before getting my BFP and was covered in vicks and drinking covonia hourly.....no spoon just sipping it straight out of the bottle. Unbeknownst to me this is a big no no and all decongestant medicine should be avoided......I spent a few weeks beating myself up over it but have come to the conclusion I can only do the right thing from now on and since then haven't even taken paracetamol even though I'm told it's safe cos I'm a basket case!!!!

Love to all!!! Xxxx

Hiya ladies, got to be speedy as scooting off for the weekend, but just wanted to give everyone a quick ...

Pebs, not yet doing inappropriate things to tempt fate, but am definitely going to start. Pure genius.

Eve, really hope you enjoy the wedding, remember you're easily as beautiful as any of them, and your new fascinator sounded gorgeous. Boobs out and all that!

Marathon, second MissG's fine advice about your DH. Also, if you are feeling brave enough for a chat with him about it, might also be worth trying to put across that however angry he is, calling the sort of names you mentioned isn't ever helpful, and just makes you feel more hurt after the event. Hmmm, I'm not explaining myself very well, but trying to suggest to him a more constructive and less confrontational style of disagreement in general, if that makes any sense? Oh, and definitely recommend that last rolo.

Baby, much DIY PMA to you, it'll get there and be gorgeous when it's finished I'm sure :)

Blue, feeling your pain on the pre-holiday work-crunch, aaargh. Why is it that one just ends up having to do twice as much work the week before to get it all done, hmmmm . Maybe some ?

Also, thanks Marathon for the good advice on getting a -ve first, was wondering if that might be a good plan so will definitely go for it I think (oh, the irony of fervently hoping for that negative ). Onwards and upwards and all that (more irony in apparently finding my PMA under a pee-stick, it's been strangely absent most of the day until now)!

Am I right in thinking there's no chance of ovulation until hcg levels have returned to that negative result anyway (sorry if that's a completely noddy question, I'm new to paying attention to all this ).

and waves furiously at shimmery, pie and everyone else (with requisite apology as am speeding and KNOW I've missed someone)...

oh my word we are a chatty bunch - loving missg and babys little offshoot chat last night

marathon i am sorry to hear about your argument with DH. We had our worst one not long after DS was born (i told him that he only wanted DS to show off to his family and friends and behind closed doors he was as pig headed as his father ). I cant give you any wisdom only to say that i hope you both can work through this and clear the air, which i am sure you will. and the friend situation; god yes that would completely piss me off, i see your point about 'my friend sarah' yes it is clear that she is feeling insecure but i guess you have to just go along with it, after all you will be joining their baby club soon!

missg and zebra thank you for your kind words about Cassidy, i just love the name anyway. Grandad was like a father to me so it will be a fitting tribute ooo and missg i think Caitlin is a beautiful name, i have hardly heard of any others actually so it is definitely not too popular.

blue you truly are queen of the WTF cycle, god you must be so frustrated here why not join me in a glass of

eve i did chuckle at you working whilst wearing a fascinator! hope you feel better by the wedding, and have a lovely day

well it is only CD7 but me and DH managed to SWI last night, and intend to as much as we can muster next week - i have missgs stats to hand and shall be referring to the timescale closely!

waves to shimmery manda pebs whatso baby and everyone else in the mosh pit!

Evening all...seem to have lost the PMA somewhere in the midst of crazy work and AF deciding to do a bit more spotting today really wish she'd just go now...CD10 and fed up! Should be feeling chirpy now that I've finished work for hols but was just draining today trying to get stuff ready to hand over, the AF thing and my Mum told me that my Grandma and Grandad who are in their mid 90's and also live overseas (where Mum is - 12 hour flight away) are really not doing well...Grandma keeps having TIA's (mini-strokes) most days now and Grandad's heart isn't doing well and he's so so breathless now we went out to see them in January and said our 'goodbyes' but still v v hard not to be there and to think that they might not be around much longer. And now just popped out to pick up DH from work and he's had a bad day too and we've just had a stupid argument on the way home so just feeling so fed up with everything!! Supposed to be starting the SWI tomorrow so need to make up...which I would always want to do before sleep anyway.

Sorry for me me post...not got the brain to name-check at the mo...might go in search of a or and some left-over apple and rhubarb crumble!

Blue you need wine, not bloody tea! Have some,. treat yourself, and I'm sending you a PMA hug! x