Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your leathers, black nail polish, air guitar and jump in the mosh pit for some serious metalling. All welcome! (Part 17)

[MarathonMama]

Hello! Just miscarried and ready to start again, come and join us...

Any news yet missG?

Shimmery, I was very sad to read your posts. Mother Nature can be such a fucker, can't she?

Whatso hopefully you'll still be bobbing in and out to have a read if nothing else. Good luck and see you soon, I hope!

Zebra hello! I too found moving on from the miscarriage boards helped me feel more positive and able to put the MMC behind me. The miscarriage boards were a godsend at the time, and it helped me enormously to 'speak' to people in similar situations but I have found this thread hugely beneficial with regards to onwards and upwards.

I find it hard to keep up with all the developments on here so apologies if I have missed anyone or anything significant.

Bit of a brain dump from me (you have been warned.)
My cousin and his girlfriend's baby (lets call her 'J') is due today (!) and we saw them on Friday and Saturday as they are moving close to us but are moving things gradually at the moment as she doesn't want to change hospitals at the very last minute.
As she is due to pop (she is very petite normally so looks quite uncomfortable now) it was hard to talk about much else. There was also a houseful of people (ten in all, inc sets of parents) cleaning and moving furniture in and it was all quite exciting especially as J was having the odd twinge and also mentioned she had had a 'show' earlier.
We ended up all going to the pub after and as we were sat around the table I suddenly burst into tears. I have no idea where it came from, I was actually saying to J that she could borrow clothes if she needed to while she shrank back to her usual size 8's so it wasn't a terribly emotive subject, but it seemed to come from nowhere. I then had to clamber over three people at the table to rush up to the loo and try and pull myself together.
I thought I was okay with things, and by and large generally I think I am, but perhaps I am not quite as okay as I thought I was.
Thankfully we all left shortly after and I went out and, er, got very drunk. Not terribly constructive I know, but it had to be done! I then also met my brother, DH had gone home, and droned onto him. He was there when we had to call 999 when I miscarried so could understand why it was so traumatic. He was lovely too, letting me drunkenly ramble on, and kept saying 'its what I'm here for.'

So, that's been my bank holiday. Bit of a weird one, as it's both exciting and, as I have discovered, upsetting too. My cousin and J have now gone back to their 'old' house and are basically just waiting. She can't do much anyway and they have also had a few false alarms so hopefully it won't be long now. I am really happy and excited for them, I really am, but I am also finding it quite hard.

Lastly, and sorry for the TMI element - me and DH DTD yesterday and there was no pulling out at a crucial moment. This proves to me he is into the idea of trying again as much as I am. Shame I haven't the foggiest what is happening cycle wise, but fingers crossed things calm down soon. Am also wondering about getting some OPK's but not sure if I need to wait till I have a proper period first (only had varying degree's of spotting really so far.) I am also half considering 'investing' in a Clearblue one (can always Ebay it after, can't I?) even though they are very expensive as I feel as if I could be hanging on for things to settle for months otherwise. As I have said before, patience is not one of my strong points!

Ooooh, cross posted with you MissGiraffe - whooppeeeee! Congratulations! xx

Thanks Baby

And sorry to hear you had such an emotional weekend .Maybe you needed that blowout. It's obviously still very raw, and your MC wasn't very long ago, was it? You have every right to still feel the pain and hurt from your own loss, and still be happy for your cousins at the same time. Oh, it's such a rollercoaster isn't it?!

Be kind to yourself. And what a lovely Bro you have. He is right though, that is what he's there for, and you should use all the support you have around you when you need it - I'm sure you would do exactly the same the other way around

Chin up x

Thanks x

Yes, the miscarriage was on the 13th July which I suppose isn't really that long ago. It just feels like it was though, if that makes sense.

Rollercoasters indeed!

It makes perfect sense. It's a rough ride, that's for sure. And I don't think anyone can really understand what it's like unless they've been through it (not that I would wish it on anyone of course!)
The WTF cycle just adds to the frustration. I didn't have clue either, waiting 7 weeks 2 days for AF to show her ugly face. And often, once you've got over that hurdle (and all the WTF-ing on the way) TTC is all you can bloody think of for most of the time. Your whole life becomes measured in cycle days and Ov prediction!

It's quiet on here this morning. Dare I ask, is everyone actually working ??

Woohoooo!!! missg fantastic news!!!

Am busier today (bank hol) than often when I'm at work done third coat on one wall and first coat on the last wall so nearly there...just waiting for that to dry so I can hopefully do the second and hopefully final coat and then the spare room/office is looking sparkling ready for nursery furniture anytime Also just made homemade chicken soup, rhubarb and apple crumble and a ginger cake...think I may need a little rest this afternoon so that I don't fall asleep at work tomorrow when I go back for a rest

baby sorry to hear you've had a tough weekend...I still find it catches up with me at random and unpredictable moments but great news on the SWI progress!!

shimmery how are you feeling today? What a cruel few days you've had but well done with your PMA approach...

Right...that final coat of paint is calling!!

Ginger cake? At 100kcal a piece?! Yes please! In fact, can I have two?

MissG I think you're right, the WTF cycle does just rub it in. Also, I have no idea if I'd be ovulating or not at the moment as not really had a period as such, but have had something. I have been Googling too, and discovered that there is no "normal" and everyone can be different. And yes, I do feel a bit as if my life is now measured in cycles and / or possible ov prediction!

BlueCrane thanks. I suppose sudden and unpredictable moments will be par the course. It really did take me by surprise too when it happened on Saturday, although perhaps in retrospect I had been in a house with 12 of us talking 'baby baby baby' with the large possibility of someone going into labour right before my eyes so maybe I should have realised... Doh!

Just been back from nearly three hours out with the dog. I have been living here since the start of May and am finding more and more beautiful places to take her, the dog, all the time and they all are on our doorstep. I am also, as I am slightly obsessed (if only inwardly), thinking that all this walking and fresh air will be a far better way of head clearing / weight losing / fitness gaining than anything else I can think of and will stand me in good stead for, ahem, 'later.'

Thanks all for lending me your ears. It helps massively to 'talk' to people who know just what it's like, it really does. x

hi guys

mind if i join you?

i had my second mc in july which was discovered at my 20 week scan. this follows a mc at 11 weeks in november. i fully understand how worrying being/getting pregnant is for us.

i am not really ttc at the moment as i need to wait to see a consultant for test results to see if there is a reason this is happening to me. had some tests done 2 weeks ago and they said i would get all my results in 6 weeks so 4 more to go.

it;s been 8 weeks now since the latest mc and i have still not seen any sign of af. i am getting very impatient now. my af came about 6/7 weeks after mc the first time.

i thought i would start charting tomorrow. i bought the thermometer when i first started ttc last year and never used it. i think my dh was freaked out when he saw it lol! don't think he will be bothered anymore after everything we have been through.

i am hoping that temping might give me some clues as to what is going on with my cycles. it makes me feel like i am doing something positive as well.

hope you don't mind me joining even though i am not quite ttc. i will be doing lot's of metaling though about af and temping!

Hi pebspop so sorry to hear what you've been through. Twice as well!

I am only just (very only just) starting to TTC after miscarrying on the 13th July (I had a missed miscarriage spotted on the 12 week scan and miscarried ten days later, the day before I was booked in for a D&C) so don't feel you have to be actively TTCing to hang out on here.

Do you have any suspicions as to why it happened twice? What tests can they do to investigate?

there are loads of tests that can be done. usually they only do them after 3 mc's but as my second one was at 20 weeks i am having them now.

the main causes can be infections, blood clotting disorders or the baby could have defects.

if they find i have a blood clotting disorder i could have aspirin and blood thining injections next time i am pg and this seems to work from what i have read. they have tested my blood and dh's blood to see if we are passing on genetic problems.

i will get all the results back in four weeks. they said half the time there is no cause found. not sure which is worse as i would be really worried in future pg if i do not find out why this has happened.

Did you feel as if there may have been something wrong at the time, with the 20 week scan, such as an infection? My 'bean' stopped developing at 7 weeks-ish but I still felt pregnant in every way which made it an even bigger and nastier shock than it should have been. I can see why you would be worried in future pregnancies, I know I will be and 20 weeks is relatively late. You poor bugger!

Evening all.

Shimmery - hope you are ok and looking after yourself.

Miss G - go you. So excited for you.

Marathon - hope all is well and you are looking after yourself.

Blue - decorating sounds productive.

baby - hope you are ok. It is so difficult sometimes to cope with everyone else baby news. I really don't want to see my aunt but now thinking I am just going to have to face up to it and see her before she is due. (2 days before my due date would of been)

Pebspop - so sorry that you have had to join us. I can not think for one moment how difficult and sad it must of been to have your news at the 20 week scan. I hope the tests come up with something that can be put right and you can get back on track soon.

As for me well the visitors have finally gone, we decided against the Isle of wight and save the money for Disneyland Paris - 2.5 weeks to go. On the up side I can go on the rides now I am not PG! Should also dye my hair and eat Pate.

I still upset over AF. I know it is early days second af since erpc at the end of June. I just thinking it will never happen because I am so old. I want the baby I had. :-(

Anyway to cheer you all up I managed to fall in the river today - bike and all. We went for a ride and it was bumpy and narrow. I was already sulking as I did not want to to ride up to many hills so we went along the river - as you can imagine it wasn't ideal for bikes and I went and wobbled in. DP said I did well to save my bike! Just wanted to weep then too. Gotta laugh.

Also wonder what is happening with my periods. There were like clock work beofre DS. Then had mini pill for 4 years so no AF. First period after erpc 1st august 4 days long. Ok. Second period 26th and finished today. Should I be worried? I don't know about these things never had any deviation before?

Answers on a post card!

Hi Eve. I am alright, more or less. I think it was just a sudden bolt out the blue and I think it's also as it's family you feel more 'involved' (for want of a better word.) I suppose there will be lots of little hurdles like this to come (oh, super ) but they will hopefully become fewer and more far between. They know what happened with me too so can understand any wobbles, and can also hopefully realise that I don't resent their position, I am just a bit sad about my own.

I think I'd be upset about AF too, just because its the last thing any of us want at the moment. I realise you may have said in previous threads, but how old are you...?

I realised something today, which I am going to translate into a positive. When I was pregnant before I spent times hating it. I felt fat, bloated and frustrated, especially due to our building site of a house / cash flow situation. I only came round to the idea more consistently, instead of swinging madly from one thing to another, at about 10 weeks. I now know that if I get pg again (which I will - PMA PMA!) I will now NOT resent it or think about it negatively (apart from the MC worries, which I suspect will be unavoidable) and will instead try and enjoy it and relish (or something) it instead.

So there!

Well we are back from the inlaws, had a fabulous weekend, SFIL made an awesome curry last night and DH and I had a night out on Saturday together (very rare these days!).

The only downside was that AF got me on Saturday so eve shall we hold hands together, have a glass or three of and do you fancy joining me in a spot of pate, blue cheese and brie? i have some lovely warm crusty bread - oh and we can have a little sob together! I have also worked out that if we get PG this month my due date would be a day before DSs due date! So lets go for some June babies!

baby your feelings are so normal, it must be hard to be with someone close to you who is heavily preggy.

my friend is due her baby in 2 weeks time, she was 4 weeks ahead of me and we announced our PGs together i would have been due on 4 October. It is gonna be hard when she has her bubba even though i love her to bits and am so happy for her, it just feels sad.

however... MissG OMFG fantastic news!!! So your 'Desperate Housewife v Mad Men' approach with DH paid its dividends!!! As i recall you were rather rampant this month sweetie! Soooooo happy for you Have you told your DD yet? Bless her she will be thrilled she stayed out the house!

pebspop welcome but i am so sorry to hear of how you came to us, i cant imagine how it must have felt at the 20 week scan, i recall that by that point you are so ultimately bonded with your bump. Sending you some feel good vibes and hope it works out for you soon

waves to marathon manda iq blue whatso (if you are lurking) and everyone else - sorry if i have missed anyone but my laptop is playing up and i dont want to lose the message!

blue i am soooo with you on the nursery study. We bought our house 5 years ago and i managed to convince DH that the spare room should be neutral shades we werent even engaged by that point or talking about a family!!

See you all at work tomorrow where-we-are-all-guaranteed-to-be-on-MN

my impending 'due date' should have read 10 October - bloomin typing whilst drinking

Hey, all, having a godawful time right now (won't go into details) but wanted to conratulate you, missG - lovely news

Shit, sorry to hear it Manda. Hope things perk up soon x

hey manda sending you a HugNKiss and hope things get better for you

i am having a PMA day today, got my boobs out and everything (well not literally!).

summerbird73 unfortunatley i wasn't bonded with my bump even at 20 weeks as i was waiting for something to go wrong as it had the first time. i don't think i will ever be able to relax in pregnancy.

babysaurus i wasn't feeling any movement and i was losing weight (was the lightest i have been in years when i was four month pg) so thought something wasn't right but i did feel pg and my boobs and bump were growing. didn't feel like i had an infection or anything. it could have been that i had a blood clotting disorder and the placenta was working properly. or the baby may have had something wrong with it. i will find out the results in four weeks.

next time i get pg i will be getting my own midwife and will be able to have weekly appointments with them and have more regular scans. hopefully this will help me feel more confident in future.

i have been reading a book called miscarriage, what every woman needs know by lesley regan. she is the leading mc specialist in the country. the book tells you all about the causes of mc and the tests which are carried out it's quite a good read if you are interested as it give a positive message to all women who have mc'd that you will most likely have a baby one day.

i did my temping for the first time this morning. it was 36.2 C. not sure what that means or what to expect over the next few weeks. thought i would do my temps while i am waiting for af then if she doesn't come i can take the graph to the consultant to see what they think.

Morning all!!

Another for you missg how are you feeling today?

pebspop so sorry to hear your news?but you?re v welcome here for metalling support!!

eve for Disneyland Paris and yeah to going on the rides too!! Sorry to hear about the bike/river incident?did you hurt yourself? My periods post ERPC have been odd...first one lasted almost 2 weeks with lots of spotting after the initial main bleed?this one I thought was more normal and was all set to post this morning that AF had departed when (after 2 days of nothing) she seems to be back again unfortunately there doesn?t seem to be any ?normal? for a while after MC/ERPC!

baby I was a bit the same as you when I was pregnant before the MC and it has rather haunted me since then?I was stressed about the due date so close to Christmas for Mum to fly over, I just felt SO bloated and fat and couldn?t fit into any clothes and my boobs hurt and grew so so much I was struggling to find bras etc but next time I will be much more embracing and happy for it all?except the MC worries as you say! I?ve felt so sad at my previous reaction given what happened!

summer sorry to hear AF has come to visit you as well I?m thinking v PMA thoughts for June babies too!!! And I?m v happy with my spare room/study nursery it?s looking v good in ?sweet caramel? and ?almond white?

manda so sorry things are tough at the moment?hope things get better soon

As I mentioned above I was all set for a chirpy PMA post about AF having gone when I thought (sorry TMI) that feels suspiciously like something happening down there and low and behold?she?s back after two days totally absent!! How utterly irritating!! But?still a bit more ?normalish? than last cycle and am feeling very PMA for this cycle and a June baby plus we're off to the Isle of Wight on Sunday for holiday so am on countdown to that!!!

Happy Tuesday all?

PS just found out a friend at work MC'd at 7 weeks last week. She's trying for DC2 and it's been taking a while. Crazy lady is at work though she's been bleeding pretty heavily over the weekend...trying to encourage her to go home and rest but she might be better keeping her mind busy at the moment...

sorry to hear that pebspop

blue didnt your AF do that to you last month? bloomin WTF cycles.

missg i need to scroll back and look at your schedule last month - what days did you grab-your-poor-tired-DH SWI? I am thinking of another marathon sesh late on next week. best get DH to cancel his squash games

blue so about your colleague, my colleague isnt back at work yet, she must really be going through it.

Morning metallers

Thanks Blue Eve and Summer* Manda still can't quite believe it (hence doing another FR test this morning! Nice dark line ) DH is of course beaming about his superswimmers given this was only month 2 of TTC post MC. Called EPU for early scan date, so it is Monday 19th Sept. Soooooo far away!! I will most likely be on here metalling for Scotland from then until now! Well, will probably swing between 'head in sand' and metalling on an hourly daily basis.

Blue so sorry to her about your friend. And at AF messing you about. Hopefully she will have taken permanent leave well before holiday time so you can down to some serious SWI . Your nursery spare room sounds just lovely . There's a lizard in mine, will have to do soemthing about that in due course!

Eve lol at your spectacular bike dive (although also hope you didn't hurt yourself?) Re AF after ERPC, I have read so many accounts of peoples' experiences that the only thing I'm sure of is that there is no such thing as normal. So frustrating.

Manda sorry to hear you're not doing so well just now. Hope you can work through this, and you are being supported just now. x

Summer go PMA queen! Sorry evil AF got you . Next month could well be the month!! I'm PMAing for all you June enthusiasts!! Yes, we went for it this month. There was lots of sneaking about, like teenagerts (but in reverse, since we were hiding from the teenager) We have decided not to tell her for now. If everything goes well at the scan, we'll tell her then. Will just have to see how that plan goes though. When she came out her room yesteday morning and said "Mum, Beyonce's pregnant" I sooo wanted to shout "She's not the only one!!!" I don't know how I'm going to keep it from friends though, as I have so many things coming up (cocktails on Sunday for my friends 30th for example. That friend I would tell anyway, but some of the others I wouldn't.) Going to have to come up with convincing reason why I'm driving, as I am the cocktail queen! It is me who always organises our 'Ladies wot lunch and slurp cocktails on a Sunday' outings

Hi Baby and go girl with the PMA! Yes, you will get PG, we will hear of no 'ifs' on this thread!

Welcome Pebspop, was so sad to read your story. I hope the tests give you some answers which will make your next PG a less anxious time. And the reassurance scans might help you bond better with the next one too. Wishing you every success in future pg.

Morning to everyone else Marathon IQ Shimmery Pie Zebra Whatso (if you happen to lurk) Cuttle (if you're still about) and anyone else lurking.

MissG, Pie, Eve, Shimmery, Summer, Marathon, Baby and everyone, thanks so much for the lovely welcome. Really cheered me up to read your good thoughts, and it's great that you guys have found this such a supportive and inspiring place to be.

MissG, oooooh, fantastic news! So happy for you. Hope you're doing well so far, and Marathon's technique sounds like a good one (am picturing an ostrich nicely done up in a fetching set of studded metalling leathers :) ).

Baby, sorry to hear you had a tough weekend - sounds like lots of pregnancy tmi (if that makes sense?), and reckon you did really well to be so enthused and composed about it on the whole, I don't think I'd have even managed to get that far. As the others have said much more eloquently than me, the wobbles are completely understandable, so definitely be kind to yourself. Am also really liking your positive thought on the early weeks, I felt much the same way, so will be trying to 'borrow' that thinking too for next time (gulp) if you don't mind :).

Blue, hats off to you on the decorating front, sounds like you've done a great job, and am suitably in awe of your productivity (especially as am currently congratulating self on a particularly taxing waddle from duvet to fridge :) ).

Pebspop, so sorry you've been having such a sad time, and echoing the very warm welcome - I'm very new here too but already finding these ladies a wise and wonderful bunch, so hope it'll help you to be here too.

Eve, gosh, absolutely rant away, can imagine that after finding the bravery to get back to the whole ttc business, the first AF must be particularly, hideously disappointing. Sending lots of supportive thoughts your way.

Summer, glad you had a lovely weekend, although grrrrr to AF . May try to join you in some PMA today (ha, took me a while to figure out the 'boobs out' reference, was alarmed for a moment that public nudity was about to be a PMA requirement )

Shimmery, really hope you're starting to feel better and your wonderful DH and some gigantic G&T's are helping.

Lots of fx things improve for you Manda.

Plus to IQ, cuttle, whatso, poppy, and anyone I've missed (sorry!)