Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your leathers, black nail polish, air guitar and jump in the mosh pit for some serious metalling. All welcome! (Part 17)

[MarathonMama]

Hello! Just miscarried and ready to start again, come and join us...

Hello ladies, I'm sitting on the beach and, being bag monitor, have managed to escape MIL and all the kids (there are 6 of them, all under the age of 8). MIL is driving me nuts. She was supposed to be looking after dd while I was packing the car, but she decided that she'd forgotten her sunglasses so put dd down without telling me right by the side of a busy road!

My PILs are also stuck in the dark ages, my BIL spent yesterday watching the footie and getting drunk. My MIL made him dinner for SIL (who'd been looking after her kids all day) to take home with her for BIL. unfortunately SIL forgot to take it so my PILs were discussing how it was a shame that SIL would have to make a proper dinner for BIL when he got home. Clearly BIL doesn't have arms or a brain to make his own dinner . They also think I'm a lazy cow for expecting DH to share the childcare.

Anyway, things have been quiet here, no BFPs yet? Blue when will you test?

Did anyone read The Times mag yesterday? There was an agony aunt question about whether fantasising about other men during sex makes you more fertile (it doesn't apparently). There were some interesting facts in the response. Apparently, lots of unexplained infertility and IVF happens because people just don't have sex! Surely that doesn't bode well for the future? Also, you're more likely to conceive if you enjoy sex and orgasm. Interestingly, around 50% of clients at Zita West's clinic don't have fertility probs, they just don't understand their cycles and how it all works. Haven't they heard of Munsnet? I was surprised by that.

Anyway, got to go, MIL is back...

marathon CD29 and another bfn here this morning as well as more stomach cramps. Was SO hormonal yesterday...in tears on and off for no particular reason...and then again in the evening when I discovered that all bar one of my dresses I was going to wear to a Christening this afternoon wouldn't fit or (because I'm so bloated) make me look about 18weeks pregnant - so so frustrating as I thought I'd lost some weight but they were all so tight! If I'm honest I think AF will show up anytime and just wish she'd hurry up!

Sorry to hear time with the PIL is proving frustrating!!

pie how was your hen do?

Right...off to spend 2 hours in the car going to this Christening...then will try and feel something like presentable in my one dress that fits (ish) to perform my GodMotherly duties and hopefully avoid the Sunday evening traffic coming home again later...

Happy Sunday all

Hi all

Hope you're all well, and congrats to IQ on the good scan.

Whatso - I used to temp and did it for a few months. However, I am very regular and once I'd worked out that day 13 was usuall O-day, I gave up in favour of sleep. I'd recommend doing it if you need to get confirmation that O happened when expected, but otherwise it was too much of a faff for me.

I used CB OPKs this month for the first time and found (as suspected from the previous month) that O has now apparently shifted to day 15 post MC. I'll be using sticks again this month (handily I have half a pack left, which should be just enough) and if it sticks at day 15 I'll stop testing for it and just concentrate on the SWI for a while.

Pie sorry your friend's visit was so hard. Hopefully it will be you soon too.
I'm expecting AF tomorrow, and got a BFN yesterday (we hosted a BBQ and I really really wanted to have some cider...) so it's back to timing the SWI for me.

Hi Peeps,

Well I got to my best chum's house before us all heading out for the hen do and the cava was opened and I thought to myself 'I can't put my life on hold every 2ww just in case I am pg, it's my best mate's hen do FFS just enjoy yourself!'. It's highly unlikely this month anyway considering near my fertile time we only DTD 3 days before and day of O so I did parkate in a few drinks (couple of glasses of cava, a scrummy cocktail and a glass of wine) but didn't get sozzled. It was a really good night and we were on the dancefloor till after 1am (very late for me nowadays!). The 'hen' has a 3 month old baby and her boobs were going to explode by the end of the night so we all went back to her flat for tea and toast while she expressed!

Only 5dpo today next week is so going to drag!

shimmery How many dpo are you for the bfn? If you did it 7/8 days in a row this month how many were near ov time? You really put in the groundwork this month, that totally sucks! Pre m/c I ov'd on CD16. Post m/c it has been CD17, CD12 and this month CD19 (!!) I am using IC OPKs then when they start to become vaguely positive check with the CB Digi. It does make timed SWI quite difficult though if I don't know when i'm going to ov each month. Was hoping the acupuncture would regulate things a bit, will have to see.

blue I had exactly the same problem with an outfit for the hen do. Nothing fitted, at all!!! I ended up buying something last minute off ASOS which fortunately fitted and I liked! Fustrating thoughwhen i've got lots of things I could have worn!

marathon how's the bump! Interesting about the article in the Times. Will look and see if I can read it online. Can't believe all those people are spending that money on Zita West when they haven't researched it online or anything or indeed MN!!

Am majorly ZZZZZ after 5hrs sleep last night so hoping for an early night.

Big Wave to all xx

Evening all...back from the Christening which was really lovely and good to see my friend and her DCs...actually felt ok in my outfit too which was good! Been feeling pretty washed out all day and a bit sicky and crampy and still no sign of our favourite aunt! CD30 tomorrow...ho hum I was looking back through my journal spreadsheet listing symptoms, AFs, DWI etc and remembered that last time (pre-MC) my cycle was about 37 days and I didn't get a hint of a bfp until CD42!! So I guess I could be in for a looong wait, but as I've said before if she's going to arrive I wish she'd hurry up so we can get her visit out the way!

shimmery here's sending PMA your way and hoping she doesn't arrive tomorrow!!

pie glad you had a good evening and felt able to 'let your hair down' a bit

Sleep time now...catch up tomorrow for some more metalling with those in the 2ww, waiting to SWI, in prime SWI time and IQ, marathon & cuttle waiting for their next scan!

Hi ladies I am now back from 3 weeks away and haven't had chance to catch up on all of the goings on...you dropped off my "threads I am on" page - it must be bad!

Promise I will catch up later but for now just wanted to let you all know that I got a v. faint BFP on Fri and Sat this last week (yay!) but started bleeding yesterday (BOO!) so I guess it just wasn't meant to be again. Not really feeling sad about it as the bleeding started so soon after so it didn't really sink in but still a bit It is light and sort of brown at the moment (sorry if TMI) so hoping it gets on with it soon so things can start again.

Had a wonderful time at the festival and my weekend away with DH was fantastic (small shower though unfortunately ) but I am so pleased to be home now. 3 and 1/2 weeks is a long time to be away with DS by myself... !

Oh Poppy welcome back, and sorry to hear that. You are sounding very positive about it though, which is admirable.

Marathon sounds like your outlaws (your MIL in particular - how stupid putting a small child down next to a road!) tested your patience. Did you say they are with you all week? (or was that someone else ) Some PMA coming your way to help you avoid killing avoid slapping cope with the challenges a MIL can bring

Blue from your history, it sounds as though you can't rule anything out yet But it must be a right pain in the ass having a 37 day cycle, that's a 3ww, and we all know how looooooong 2weeks can feel!! Hope something happens soon so you know either way. And congrats on your godparent status I am godmum to my nephew. I am a rubbish lapsed Catholic but my brother and his SIL go to church almost every Sunday) So, although personally I think much of what it stands for in the religious sense is a probably a bit outdated (since they chose me afterall!), I still think the symbolism is important, and that it is a honour and privilege to be chosen to have a bigger part in a special little person's life

Belated happy anniversary Summer. Hope your wee one is feeling much better, and you got the chance to indulge in some celebratory bubbly

I am now CD 20. Got SWI in on CDs 11, 12, 14, missed 16 as was in a huff - am annoyed at myself about that - ,17 and 19 (well, might as well cover all bases). Have been having little twingey feelings in right side of lower abdomen - a kind of pulsating twinge. Not very painful but enough to make me stop and think about it. Of course, despite my resolve to not think about anything PG-related until CD 28, I have convinced myself it must be impantation so the metalling is starting all over agin

So, in I go, moshing to the sounds of Metallica, ready to manically throw myself full pelt bump into to many, if not all, of you some time soon!

I'm starting to sound like a broken record now but...another bfn here this morning! Loving the internet cheapie tests though as means I can test every day and not feel as though I'm peeing on £'s! Cramps were worse last night but have gone again now CD30 today...the wait continues...grrr...was hoping the MC might've reset my cycle to something a bit more 'normal'...

poppy welcome back...really hope the bleeding doesn't amount to anything and that your bfp sticks...have you tested again? So sorry you have to go through this ...but as missg said you are sounding quite positive so well done!

missg at your symptom spotting and metalling...I think CD20 is an ok time for the metalling to start and you can join me with the crowd surfing!

Hi all, can't be too long but have somee developments to fill you in on!

On the way to the wedding on Saturday, DH asked me when I thought we should try again! So, after a slightly stilted conversation (not sure why, but felt a bit weird talking about it) we have decided to 'just see what happens.' I explained that my cycle is nowhere near normal yet, in fact I started the spotting last week and now that tailed off, with one day where I actually used a tampon (TMI I know but this is the 'no such thing as TMI thread' isn't it?) so suspect I will end up having a proper period first but no idea when. It was just over 5 weeks since the MC so I suppose that isn't really that long, I'll just have to be patient. I know that some women have got pg even before having a period but I can't see that happening with me, and also realise that it is best to let things settle.

Marathon your MIL sounds like a nightmare! Mine is here too for the week and it was hard work with them here, admittedly for only half an hour, yesterday after a long drive back from the wedding and a shocking hangover!

Hello to everyone else - back later this eve x

Morning all

Had a good time at the races on Saturday with DH's family. Got very very drunk - I made the most of the fact I could given the BFN I got on Friday (and indeed AF arrived Saturday morning). This meant yesterday was pretty much a write off.

Still feeling pretty down most of the time. My stomach is also playing up (I have a history of gastritis although each bout is fixed pretty quickly with a dose of prescription drugs) so I think I will pop to the docs about that and mention the "downness" while I am there, as I'm not convinced it is entirely about the miscarriage now - and the thought of being both depressed and barren isn't a great one.

[poppy] sorry to hear that, your PMA about it is very admirable.

[blue] grr on the BFNs, but it does sound like there is still quite a bit of hope for this month given your past long cycles

[MissG] fingers crossed for those Signs!

[Pie] sorry to hear it was so hard seeing your friend. Weirdly, I am fine seeing friends with actual babies, but like you, find pregnant ones tough.

[Shimmery] thanks for the tips. My cycle has been 28 days for the last two months now so attempting to locate ovulation once and then assuming it is that each month may work for me too.

baby sounds like a great development

(sorry, crossed posts)

hiiii have been away for the weekend but just catching up.

baby excellent development he was obviously scared for you, as it is still soon after, praps he was dealing with his own upset - but anyway - good news!

whatso sorry about the byatch AF arriving i agree you should mention your feelings to your GP. you know that i cant recommend counselling enough but it isnt for everyone, just keep it in mind. Maybe just offloading to your GP could help matters.

(that was a geordie 'dirty look' by the way! ) where do you get your ICs from? i may invest.

missg thank you for the anniversary wishes, yep the lil one was better by thursday afternoon so me and DH had the pink bubbly and lovely sirloin steak. did you manage to get your SWI in before your DD came home (i still giggle at her disgust at the end of the phone!)

poppy welcome back, the exact same thing happened to me 3 weeks ago, sadly my bean came away but there is still time for yours to stick, everyone here was rooting for it being implanation bleeding so that is what yours could be. i did lots of reading up on it and it is v common. keeping everything well-not-everything crossed for you!

right i have just lost the rest of this message as i scrolled back

trying to remember what i posted!

marathon how are your nerves holding up? i could spend a week with my MIL but not my own DM!!

i have been away with DS and DH to my hometown this weekend and caught up with my poorly friend, she isnt looking too bad actually, she is being v positive which is inspirational

we have only SWI once this month, i think i am 9DPO but i am not thinking about it this month, almost like i am scared to get excited IYSWIM. Anyway it will all change next month when i get out of my WTF cycle and back onto some good ole SWI

oh crikey i have to get back to work now and i had typed loads! anyway, waves to shimmery manda eve and the rest of da crew and i will try and keep up

Afternoon all

Thank god not too much to catch up on. Hope everyone had a good weekend.

Pie - sorry to hear having your friend to visit was tough. I am avoiding an aunt who is due 2 days before mine was.

Whatso - Races sounds fab as does the vino. Sorry to hear you are still feeling down. Do go and talk to the GP and get some support. It is surprising how much better you feel once you have managed to off load stuff.

Blue - glad the christening went well. Fingers crossed your bfp is just around the corner.

Manada Hope the BBq went well and the weather was kind to you.

Maraton - MIL who would have them. I have mine here all week!

Shimmery - BBQ and cider sound like a fab combination.

Poppy - Welcome back - Really hope the bfp sticks.

Miss G - how is it in there??? Any room for me!

Baby - good to here that DP is on board. We agree to see what happens in a laid back kinda way. Now looking at dates and counting like loons! Enjoy

Well we had a lovely weekend the weather was fab and I did not do a fat lot but eat! Have cramps all weekend and although I am trying hard not to think about it AF is not due for a week so might be implantation??? Maybe. I had promised myself I wouldn't think about it til Monday next week. So just have to sit it out and wait. According to my Ovulation calender I can test from 25th!!!! Although not due on til 29th. It is going to be a long week. :-)

eve i think a few of us are due on or around 29th. i am at the inlaws this weekend so am gonna try and not think about metalling. SFIL will have the redvino flowing anyway not great if i am PG but i dont reckon i am (despite the tender boobies - but i get that before AF anyway)

Yep Summer I did, and yesterday too . Tried to be less obvious this time. My coverup yesterday was that I was trying to plan dinner so needed to know when everyone would be home. When she said she wouldn't be home until about 7.30pm (this was at 4pm), I quickly locked the door (lesson learned!), closed the blinds and shouted on DH - who was quite happy to oblige......... Quite a different story to the quickie on Friday evening though , before he left for his fishing trip. Well that had never happened before . Had never given any consideration to the fact that he might find baby-making on demand stressful, ooops. He had just walked in the door after a particularly hard day at work, was due to leave in an hour and I was like "right, lets do it", and didn't really give him much chance to protest. In hindsight, he hadn't really unwound from work, was trying to focus on getting ready for fishing, and he know the rest of the boys were waiting on him before leaving. But I pulled some jedi mind tricks on him, and all was well eventually

Yeah baby (sounds like a line from Austin Powers!) sounds like a step in the right direction

And, yes, as I was a 27/28ucl, I would also be due on around 29th. How exciting! So, Eve, plenty room. Grab a pint and jump right in! You and I sound as though we're in pretty much the same place right now! And, I've also now thinked about what day would be late enought to test. I told myself I would not do this this month, but there you go. It's bloody impossible!!

Whatso sorry to hear you're feeling down just now. I agree that it's a good idea to talk to your GP. Just getting it off your chest can be helpful in itself.

Hi to all the other lovely metallers

Afternoon all

baby sounds like a positive development/discussion with your DH for you!! Hope the power week of DIY goes well this week and PIL don?t drive you too insane!

whatso sorry to hear about AF coming but glad you had a good day ay the races! Hope you get some good advice at the docs re. stomach and how you?re feeling?

summer sorry if I squashed you with my stage diving [oops] I got my IC?s from eBay but think you can also get them from Amazon...they seem to be the same ones. They?re called ?one step pregnancy tests? and do require you to pee into a pot for dipsticking but sooo much cheaper than the other types and help to keep me sane (well, sort of!)! Glad you got to enjoy your anniversary champers and that your friend seems to be holding up well too!

eve come and join us in the 2ww mosh pit!!

anyone for a to go with the cake?

s'okay blue i was rather enjoying the moshing anyway. and i shall relieve you of a battenburg thanks! - havent had one of those for aaaages. right if i dont get a BFP this month i will invest in some of the cheapies. i will happily PIAP (pee in a pot ) if necessary

Thank you for both the and cake, both gratefully accepted!

Thanks for all of your lovely words ladies but I don't think this one has stuck I had another v faint positive this morning but this afternoon the bleeding is much heavier and definitely red and clotty (sorry again for TMI )

Not sure whether to go to see GP to talk about it, in two minds really as I know it may be better to have it in my records alongside my mc but as it happened the day after the bfp I feel a bit like going to see gp would be silly (like I am a bit f a fraud) and I know that all they would say is that it is very common, that a few years ago I wouldn't have even known about the bfp etc etc etc. Would it be sensible to keep testing until I get a proper bfn anyway?... I would be grateful for your thoughts!

I guess the reason for the pma is that I was not expecting a bfp at all this time around as I really thought we had missed the window with me being away. I guess if there is anything positive to be taken from this it is that DH swimmers were still around 6 or 7 days after we dtd as I am 99.999% sure that is when I ovulated. That really does seem to be stretching the statistics and to be honest I am not surprised that something was amiss with this little bean. DH and I are both feeling optimistic that this next cycle we can give it the best chance

Still haven't caught up properly (bad Poppy) but will do so this evening so very sorry for me me me posts twice today!

Hope all of you lovely ladies had a good Monday

Sorry that it doesn't seem to have stuck Poppy, but very impressed at your PMA. Congrats to your DH on his swimmers lasting 6/7 days!

I would tell your GP, to get it on your records. They will say it is very common, but I always think that it is best to have as up-to-date records as possible.

Pie the BFN was 9 DPO, and I don't feel pregnant so am just awaiting AF. Irritatingly she have failed to show today, which means my carefully timed holiday will have to be augmented by at least one early morning attempt (we're talking 5am in this household).

Baby - sounds positive with your DH. Glad he is coming around now.

I am now intrigued at what exactly the Jedi mind trick were MissG: "Yes, this is the MissG your are looking for..."

poppy i am so sorry, sadly i can identify exactly what you are going through as i had all of this 3 weeks ago. My MIL told me to go to the GP and get it put on record, yes your GP may say all of those things but you need to just go and say that you know nothing can be done now but please could it be put on record so that if it happens again you may or may not be referred, also my MIL who used to be a practice nurse said that she used to give injections to people who had multiple miscarriages - the injections were given straight after the next BFP to help the hormones along a little.

3 weeks on i am still struggling whether to categorise this as a MC or WTF, my mother tactfully called it a 'late period' but please dont feel like a fraud, you are dealing with a loss, and FWIW i got my BFP on the Friday night and my bean came away on the monday, my argument was that it didnt matter what stage i found out - i could have been 7 weeks when i found out but it doesnt take away the sadness when it all goes shite again. Big hugs and PM me if you want to - although i will say that the wonderful ladies on this thread really got me through a shit time xx

how are you today poppy?

Morning all...

poppy so so sorry to hear you news, this whole TTC process seems so fraught with potential worry. Really hope you're doing ok? As others have said, if you can face it, going to the docs would be good as I think it's important to have these things on record. Am impressed by your PMA thus far!

shimmery the wait for AF is so frustrating! I feel your pain!

CD31 today...hadn't got anything to pee in for my dipstick IC so thought I'd 'treat' myself to a CB Digi... 'Not pregnant' really just want AF to hurry up and arrive now as I'm fed up of waiting and fairly sure this isn't our cycle, especially after the digi result this morning. Also having a bit of a wonky boob day...they seem to have deflated disproportionately since my MC so one is [ahem] rather smaller than the other - definitely noticeable when naked but this morning I noticed it fully clothed with t-shirt bra and top on and feeling very self-conscious about it today which is not helping current state of mind waitng for AF!!

Might just sit quietly in the corner of the metalling room after all that crwod surfing yesterday...

Hi Summer I am ok today thanks and thank you for your message last night, made me feel a lot less silly

I didn't test this morning as couldn't face it, the bleeding has continued and is looking like normal AF now. I think I will go to see GP - it has been 6 months since I came off the pill and my cycles are all over the place (50 ish days) that coupled with a mc and then this chemical pg I think I should go back to see them. I agree, I think it should go on my notes.

I have PCOS already diagnosed so they weren't particularly keen to speak to me about fertility related issues (fobbing me off with "lose weight" - brilliant, thanks. I am size 8/10 and BMI 23) and have point blank refused to refer me to see anyone to talk about it, especially since the mc as apparently I am very lucky to have managed to conceive at all (again, thanks...makes me feel a whole lot better )

Anyway, rant about GPs over sorry!

This is absolutely shite. Thank goodness for all of you