Freak Out Room For Those Newly Updiffed After M/C Part VIII

[dooscooby]

Just found out you are pregnant after a previous miscarriage and too nervous to move over the to pregnancy boards? Freaking out about spotting, cramping, symptoms (or lack there of) and nervously awaiting your first scan? Here is a lovely place for lot's of support, hand holding and problem sharing.

Courtesy of owlbooty here are the Ten Commandments of the Freak Out Room.

1. Thou shalt check thy knickers to the point of insanity until the baby actually arrives.
2. Thou shalt also check the loo roll post-wipeage (sorry, gross, I know)
3. Thou shalt bore thy physician and midwife to tears with the mentalling.
4. And thy husband/boyfriend/family/neighbour's cat.
5. Thou shalt obsess over the absence of symptoms.
6. And the presence of symptoms.
7. And the fluctuation of symptoms.
8. Thou shalt pee on a vast number of sticks and keep ClearBlue and First Response in business.
9. The day before any scan extreme mentalling is permitted without recourse to the Haddock.

10. Self-diagnosis with Dr Google is Forbidden.

The Haddock will be applied liberally to all transgressors.

See here for the previous thread

biscuits I'm under the care of St. Marys for 3 mcs. They give you an early scan as it is supposed to help reassure you. My last scan had the baby measuring 2 weeks behind. It ended in mc, so I hope I have a conclusive good answer this time.

LAF everything crossed for you - is it Tuesday the scan?

Purple congratulations on the mystical 12 week mark! When is your scan again (sorry, I'm playing catch up getting everyone straight in my head and on iPad so can't scroll back through to see when you said ).

Oh, Purple just found the stats post and see your scan is on Monday. Everything crossed for you too and hope you and LAF (and anyone else with an imminent scan) can try to relax a little over the weekend (easier said than done I know) x

thanks biscuits my scan is on Wednesday AM. I may consider adding myself to the list if the scan is OK.

Hi ladies,

I haven?t been on here for a while as I?ve been trying to relax about everything, but here I am again! I'm finding it very difficult to relax ..

Good news about your scan Stitch and I?m sending positive thoughts to those of you waiting.

Freelance ? I hope you?re feeling a bit more chilled out now after your scan and that the days aren?t going by too slowly.

LAF ? I have been so tempted to poas over the last few days but I don?t have any in the house and to be honest I feel a bit silly going to buy some! I might though, because ..

.. I'm obsessing over my lack of morning sickness, I haven't had any and I think I'm about 6 weeks (but it could be less). My boobs are tender and bigger, but I wouldn't say sore. I'm definitely bigger but I think it could be all the crap I'm eating - I don't know if the appetite is a pregnancy thing or a comfort eating thing because I'm so worried about things. The other thing is, I've had loose stools the last couple of mornings (sorry if TMI) and I did have that before my mc. I'm just really scared because I didn't have any morning sickness before my mc either, I did have tender boobs and on / off tiredness which I have this time too, so the symptoms (or lack of) are pretty much the same. Should I be worried about all of this?

I went to the doctor this week who told me to take things day by day, which I know is all I can do. Last time I was booked in for a midwife appointment at 8 weeks (which I didn't make, obviously) and then a scan at 12, but this time the doctor says she doesn't think people usually see the midwife until around the 12 week mark. Last time I saw a different doctor initially and I made the midwife / scan appointments myself, but this time the doctor is arranging it. I guess I'll just have to wait until the letters arrive, but I don't think I can wait another 6 weeks without seeing anyone!

Anyway, sorry about the obsessive post. I know nobody has the answers but it's such a difficult time! I guess I'll just have to keep everything crossed. x

Hi everyone, I've been so busy the last couple of days and unable to get my mn mentalling fix! On the good side it has kept me away from Dr Google. LAF well done for sorting out the scan! And Purple too - good luck with yours.

As for Twoo, I could have written your post myself. I should be over 6 weeks now and I am having nothing in the boob department - surely something should be happening there by now?! All I am doing is getting fat around the tummy but then I really am eating like a complete pig. I am denying myself nothing - if I want it I have it. And that is just so not like me at all. I am putting on about a pound a week. On one side of things I know the steroids I am on a) make you very hungry and b) are meant to disguise pregnancy symptoms but I am exactly like you and freaking out about everything that is similar or different to last time. I have been getting quite a bit of discharge this week, had that last time. Does that mean the baby is being killed off like last time or is that just a normal pregnancy...? So I can completely empathise but have no words of comfort for you except yes we have to take every day as it comes.

I however think we should take a leaf out of LAFs book and book ourselves in for a scan. Ask your GP for a referral for your local EPU and just head up there. I think I am doing that this week, if there is nothing there and no sign of viability I just want to know.

Thanks Freelance, I'm pretty sure my GP won't refer me for a scan after one early miscarriage though. After talking to the midwife after my mc she said that after one mc they won't do an early scan, but recommended a private clinic, so I think that's pretty clear unfortunately.

I have thought about going private, but I've read a few posts on the subject and I'm really not sure if it will help much. Everyone's different though, so go for it if you think it will put your mind at rest! I think I'll wait a couple of weeks and see what happens, at that stage I might well be booking myself in for a private scan!

Twitwoo, Freelance, DH and I have been having just the same discussions! I am about 5 and a half ish and in the same predicament. Mentalling over lack of symptoms and not sure whether to get a private scan or not. Like you Twoo (seems rude to call you Twit...) I don't think I'd get referred to epu (although it would be too early yet in any event) as I've only (!) had one mc and a subsequent successful pg. But DH says a private scan could only be bad news as he thinks that even if we see anything there is no guarantee (I think I would possibly like one though as way some reassurance or not).

We have agreed to give it a couple of weeks and see how we feel then...

Hope you other lovely ladies are ok this morning

It's nice to know we are all in the same position I guess! I really don't even feel like there's a baby in there. Also, I feel strangely emotionally detached as well. I guess it is a coping mechanism but half of me still misses the last baby - does that sound weird?

It's a bummer about not being sent to EPU but yes if you wanted a scan you could always go private. Why I am going to EPU is that I am already seeing a very expensive private doc for the NK cells and he will want to scan me the week after next anyway! If I get a freebie in before hand it might help. If there is something still there I can maybe postpone his one by a week and just have the next drip treatment.

Am 'watching' the due in March thread on ante natal boards and someone has just had a scan and had their dates put back a whole three weeks! And don't seem the slightest bit concerned about it. Gone from 9 weeks to 6 and there is a yolk, baby etc etc. I guess we with experience of miscarriage are going to mental a lot more than anyone else.

Someone else on there has woken up bleeding though. I know it's voyeuristic but it's fascinating to watch them all compare early pregnancy symptoms and say 'my first baby is due on March 18th' etc with such confidence.

Sorry to keep posting so often, but I have just noticed a small amount of brown spotting so I'm really worried. Perhaps deep down I know something is happening and that's why I posted this morning. I don't want to call my husband at work so this is my outlet .. hope you don't mind! This is how it all started last time, so I don't want to be all doom and gloom but I'm not feeling too positive now. I'll still keep everything crossed and guess it's just a waiting game as we have all said already. x

Oh Twoo, you poor thing. I do hope it's nothing but how frightening for you.

I don't know what to say but just wanted to give you a virtual hug ((()))

We all know it could be nothing but anything that is similar to a mc is bound to scare the pants off us.

Freelance how true about watching the other threads. I really miss that almost naivety pre mc

Thanks Biscuits, I appreciate the virtual hug! Off to meet friends this afternoon so will try and forget about things for at least a few hours. x

Sounds like very good plan Twoo - will be sending you positive vibes x

twittwoo I am sorry you are spotting - Don't apologise for repeated posting, that's what this thread is here for. Like Biscuits said, it could be nothing, so until you know (I know how hard it is) just keep positive.

freelance I forced myself to join the due in Jan thread, and really tried hard to join in, but I have nothing in common with anyone there. There was a lady in that thread who went back 2 weeks and is still happily pregnant. When she mentioned it, she was very blase about it all, but it was me who was mentalling for her...but she's still there, so obviously just ovulated later than usual.

I had a massive scare this morning. Sorry but there is TMI in the following paragraph. Still don't know if I should see a GP or wait until my Tuesday MW appointment. Went to the loo this morning, and checked the toilet paper after wiping (as is normal for us ladies), and there was bright red blood. I nearly fainted and was so so scared....So I checked the front and there was no blood there. It was all from the back. I got up and checked the toilet and it was filled with bright red blood...just completely filled with blood. Instinctively I pressed on my stomach to check if I could still feel my bump. So I had a shower and checked again, and there was definite blood still coming from the back passage, and I haven't had anything on my pantyliner since. I've checked the baby's hb about 3 times since then, and it's fine, and although I am really really scared, deep down my instincts are telling me the baby is okay, but that's not stopping me from checking my knickers every time I remember.

I knew I was constipated, but I didn't realise it was this bad, and now it's quite painful to sit down. My husband is at work today, and when I phoned him he said to wait and see if anything happens again. I'm too scared to go to the toilet now. Also a little scared this might trigger something bad....I wanted to go out today, but I'm going to stay in incase anything bad happens.

Gosh it is so awful that you are having to go through this both twoo and milky. Biscuits is right, we all know people who have plenty of bleeds and spotting and are absolutely fine, but it doesn't make it any easier. A fritbd on another thread has been bleeding brown gunk for a week snd webt to epu for a scan and sbeas heartbeat and all is well. They says it was probably left over implantation bleeding. If it carries on it will give you valid reason to ask for a referral to Epu of course.

Milky if I was at home and not on the mobile I would be frantically googling constipation and blood for you but again constipation is such a constant in pregnancy anyway I really do think if will be something anal rather than anything that can affect the baby. The most frustrating thing is Sheba these things happen on a weekend too. Are you going to go to the docs? Hopefully it is just one of those things that won't happen again. I am bs j g terrible constipation too, partly because of the pregnancy and all the drugs I am taking but also I think having had to go through a very traumatic sac passing experience last time I am struggling psychologically too.

Jesus, what a stress for you both though. We are here to support!

milky that sounds really scary and I'd suggest you get to A&E ASAP.

twittwoo I'm sorry about the spotting. It is so scary too. Hope it stops soon.

Milky, Twitwoo, been thinking about you both all afternoon.

Milky I think LAF has a good point there - it can't hurt to get that checked out. I have had a similar thing but on a smaller scale twice this week. I'm not quite constipated but have had some troublesome bowel movements followed by complete panic when I wipe and see fresh red blood. Looks like more than it should be just for passing a painful poo! But then nothing in between and it happened twice a couple of days apart.

But it sounds like you have it much worse and it certainly can't hurt to get it sorted out. As Freelance says it is hopefully nothing baby related if it is your 'back passage' (as my nan used to refer to it) but even so they should probably sort it out. After I had DS I had terrible pooing problems and piles and all sorts, and I honestly thought I was never going to be able to poo again without it bleeding and being so painful it made me cry so it could just be that. Please please get it checked to put your mind at rest.

Twitwoo hope you've managed to go out with your friends and have a few quiet hours.

Thinking of you all xx

Thanks, and Milky I'm thinking about you and hope everything is fine.

I had a nice afternoon out with friends but the spotting continues, so I'm assuming the worst. I think it's time to take a short break from ttc after this.

I'll phone the EPU tomorrow if they're open or if not on Monday, but I know that whatever will be will be. Maybe they will do some tests after 2 consecutive miscarriages, who knows.

I'll keep an eye on this thread to see how everyone else is getting on. Lots of love and positive thoughts. I really hope everything works out for you all. xx

Twittwooo we'll be thinking of you. Hope you can get seen tomorrow x

twittwoo I'm sorry the spotting has continued. I hope you can be seen tomorrow too. We are all here for you x

Thanks for the replies everyone. I haven't had anymore bleeding, but am worried about the next toilet trip.
I built up the courage to google "anal bleeding during pregnancy", and a whole load of pregnancy websites came up saying that it is normal and giving pointers on how to prevent piles with pelvic floor exercises.
Just had a good cry because the thoughts and feelings that went through my head when I saw the blood this morning were exactly the same with my second mc, and it's just brought everything back again.

Milky that sounds a bit reassuring about your bottom .

Are you going to get it checked still to see if there is anything required to sort it out?

Twittwooo still thinking about you xx

Thanks for the giggle biscuits...I've just realised how ridiculous I must be sounding talking about my bottom! Oh the embarrassement! I've decided to wait until Tuesday, and eat loads of dried apricots until then. Hopefully this will sort itself out.

Oh Milky nothing wrong at all in your post - anything that involved blood in any context is bound to freak us out. Should I confess now that I had a little bit of blood when I blew my nose yesterday and had a mini panic before talking myself out of it?

I only meant that it maybe sounded odd for me to find your bottom reassuring - the raised eyebrow was definitely in my direction!

If it is piles (I can't spell hemer haemer the other word) it is pretty common I think during pg so there must be something they can do? I have had various creams and even suppositories but wasn't pg at the time. Do get it looked at though as I found mine didn't get better until I brought in the big guns (as it were )

Twittwooo hope you are doing ok this morning x

Hi there
Got the MIL staying so early morning wake up for me (not sure why I have a sixth sense for when people get up in your own house-wish I could just sleep through!)
Calling by to see how you're all doing. milky sorry to hear about your bleeding botty (!), it must have given you quite a scare indeed you poor thing. As horrid as it is, it sounds like nothing that will be affecting bub just the Mom (like most of these weird ailments we're destined to suffer from!). Perhaps the docs can give you some cream and/or stuff to make things a bit easier down there? I hope it isn't painful.

twittwoo sorry to hear about your spotting, I hope that it isn't what you think. I had pink spotting with this pg at 8, 9 and 10 wks and all appears fine now, so it doesn't always signal bad news, but I know you know your body and scenario better than anyone. Hope you can get seen at EPU soon x

Big waves to everyone else and good luck for those with scans this week purple I think? Can't remember who else -sorry.
lily great to hear from you too, hope you're doing ok

Hi,

Thanks for your kind words and support. I just wanted to update you all. The bleeding is now red with clots, so I know what's happening. I phoned the EPU this morning and spoke to a lovely lady who was very kind and reassuring. She has advised me to wait until the bleeding stops, do a pregnancy test and check it's negative. She also gave me the option of getting blood tests done to check hormone levels, but really I don't see the point. She said it's a bit early for a scan, and to be honest I'm quite glad that I don't have to go up to the hospital and spend a day thinking and talking about it.

It's funny, but I'm handling this mc a lot better than the last time. Of course I'll now be constantly worried that it will keep happening but I must try to stay positive.

It would be really helpful to chat to people who have also been through 2 miscarriages over 2 consecutive months, but I know this isn't an appropriate thread for that. I'll see if I can find another.

Lots of love to you all, I truly hope things work out for you all. xx